Hey guys. We’re back with another collaboration with InsightJunky.
Now here was written this amazing script on how to be more social.
But also if you guys didn’t know he animates the most of my videos,
so I’d love it if you went and checked out his channel and also subscribe.
His animations are probably super familiar.
So a lot of us have trouble getting out of the house on a Friday night.
It seems like everyone else in the world is having fun
while you don’t really have anything special to do.
Some people are just born social.
甚至在婴儿时期 他们似乎就非常可人 活泼
They seem to be very agreeable and social even as babies.
Everyone likes them in the life of the party.
Then, there are people who don’t really like talking to people that much
and end up becoming wallflowers.
Now there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert in fact,
they can be tremendous power in that.
However, all of us can benefit from learning how to be more social
and how to get it out of our shells,
because that is the bedrock of our society.
We have to communicate with people on a daily basis.
And the better you know how to do that,
the more successful you will be in the society.
In this video, we’re going to show you how you can start to be more social
and start getting out there more often.
So tip number one is to join a club or a hobby.
If you’re not particularly social to start with,
this can be very hard to jump into the deep end and start talking to everyone.
This is what you need to join a club or find a hobby
where people with similar interests of yours can congregate.
This will help you break the ice.
It will give you decent level of comfort to converse with these people.
It helps a lot of you join a club which is more outdoors
像运动 活动 公共社交等内容的俱乐部
like sports or activities and public parts.
Because then you’ll have something to do
when you’re not talking to people.
Also, being out in the open and in nature will naturally ease nerves.
So it’ll be easier for you to start talking to people.
You can also use “meetup.com” to find meetups that are happening near you.
Number two is to say more than just hi
You might know a lot of people in your school or office,
but you might not really know who they are.
They’re just acquaintances that you see every once in in a while.
And every time you see them,
we just nod your head and say hi.
Easiest way to start being more social
is to start talking to people like this in your life.
开始和他们交流 对你来说 并不尴尬
It’s not that awkward for you to start talking to them,
because you already know them on some sort of level.
But it’s also different enough to push you out of your comfort zone.
So the best thing to do is to force yourself to say more than just hi.
Talk about a current event that happened
or maybe you noticed something they’re wearing
try to avoid cliche topics like the sport or the weather.
Because then you won’t really be able to
form a real connection with the person.
Helpful thing to remember is the Ford technique which we talked about in an earlier video.
Another thing I’d recommend is to avoid talking about negative topics.
Try to stay clear of controversial topics
like politics in your first few interactions with people.
In your first few interactions with people if you
If you do that,
then you will begin to associate with negative feelings which is something that they don’t want
Tip number 3 is to bring out your rough edges.
When you’re talking to people don’t try to act like you’re perfect.
If you make a mistake then laugh about it,
share stories about your failures
and talk about how stupid you felt.
This is not self-deprecating.
This only helps you in making a real connection with people.
They see you as more authentic.
We’ve all met those really uptight people who only talk about certain things
and refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes.
You don’t want to become like that.
People are attracted to each other’s rough edges.
People don’t care if you’re perfect.
All they care about is that you’re at ease with yourself.
Let your personality shine and don’t be afraid of any part of you.
If you’re really into classical music
and all of your co-workers only listen to pop,
don’t try to conform to their standards.
Share your opinions with them.
Let them know why you’re passionate about certain things.
When you start to do this you will find that
more people will gravitate towards you,
Because they’ll know that you are actually stand for something
Now the important thing is that you don’t start preaching.
Don’t be judgmental towards others for their opinions
It’s best to follow the golden rule here
Treat others like you would want them to treat you.
So tip number four is to start talking to strangers.
Now this can be really scary at first
When you’re a little bit more comfortable talking to
people that you have similar interests with.
Then you can start going and getting out there more.
Start talking to random strangers you might come into contact with every day.
Compliment the cashier on its watch.
Talk to the girl sitting next to you on the train.
Just be open to having a conversation with everyone and don’t be afraid of it.
I know that this can be very nerve-racking
and it’s something that is certainly not easy to do.
If that’s the case with you,
then I’d recommend that you start talking to people who are paid to talk to you,
You don’t have to have the lengthy conversations about the meaning of life with them.
You just talk a little bit more than you normally would.
比如说 你去一家饭店 服务员正忙碌着
For example, you go to that restaurant and that waiter is just hanging around.
Talk to them a little bit.
Ask them what their favorite dishes from the menu.
What I’ve noticed is that as I start to do this,
I form a more human connection with the person.
And this helps me way more than you might expect.
Many times in restaurants waiters
have explicitly told me not to order certain dishes
even though they were expensive.
Sometimes clothes salespeople had told me that it’s better
if I come in a week after.
Because we’ll be having a sale and I’ll get a better deal.
Just talking a little bit and making a connection
can come back to you a many that you would never expect.
Now tip number five is that don’t be afraid to make a fool out of yourself.
In middle school this was probably the biggest problem for me.
and probably for a lot of people too.
I think the biggest reason that holds the most people back socially is that
they’re afraid to make a fool out of themselves.
Well here’s the thing even
Even if you do make a fool out of yourself,
it’s not really a big deal.
Nobody will think about it for weeks
if you say something awkward to them on the bus.
And nobody will remember you
if you fumbled while you’re trying to say something on stage.
At least for the most part.
The thing is that may surprise most of you is that
people are just as insecure as you are.
So they don’t really have time to worry about you.
They’re too busy worrying about themselves.
If you really want to condition yourself to not care what other people think.
just take your shirt off in public and walk around.
But wear your underwear around your pants.
Once you actually do something like this
and realize that most people will simply brush past you.
You’ll truly realize that you’re afraid of nothing for so long.
You don’t have to take it to that extreme though
All you have to do is remember that
everyone on this planet shares some common traits.
99% of our DNA is similar to everyone else on this planet.
As long as you’re able to connect with some people
and share who you are with them,
you’re going to be much happier
and in turn much more successful in every facet of your life.
Hope you guys enjoy this video and learn something.
If you did go check out InsightJunky’s Channel,
personally I would really appreciate it
if you guys subscribe to him.
Thank you for watching and until next video.