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如何更加社会化

How to be MORE Social - Tips to be more Confident around People

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大家好 这次的视频是与InsightJunky的又一次合作
Hey guys. We’re back with another collaboration with InsightJunky.
这将是演绎如何更社会化的精彩剧本
Now here was written this amazing script on how to be more social.
但其实我的大部分视频都是由InsightJunky制作的
But also if you guys didn’t know he animates the most of my videos,
所以如果你们能去观看并关注他的频道 我会很高兴
so I’d love it if you went and checked out his channel and also subscribe.
看了他的动画 你可能会觉得非常熟悉
His animations are probably super familiar.
大部分的观众在周五的晚上几乎不出门
So a lot of us have trouble getting out of the house on a Friday night.
你可能感觉别人在当晚会玩得很开心
It seems like everyone else in the world is having fun
而你自己却感到百无聊赖
while you don’t really have anything special to do.
有些人天生就善于交际
Some people are just born social.
甚至在婴儿时期 他们似乎就非常可人 活泼
They seem to be very agreeable and social even as babies.
聚会时 他们是大众的焦点
Everyone likes them in the life of the party.
然而 也有些人不善于与他人交际
Then, there are people who don’t really like talking to people that much
他们最终成为旁观者
and end up becoming wallflowers.
事实上 性格内向并没有什么错
Now there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert in fact,
内向的人也有巨大的性格优势
they can be tremendous power in that.
话说回来 学会如何更加善于交际和摆脱舒适区
However, all of us can benefit from learning how to be more social
还是有很多好处的
and how to get it out of our shells,
毕竟社交是人类社会的基石
because that is the bedrock of our society.
我们每天必须和别人交流
We have to communicate with people on a daily basis.
并且 你越善于交际
And the better you know how to do that,
你在这个社会将越成功
the more successful you will be in the society.
我们将用这个视频教你如何开始变得更善于交际
In this video, we’re going to show you how you can start to be more social
且变得更乐于外出交际
and start getting out there more often.
建议一 加入一个俱乐部或培养一个爱好
So tip number one is to join a club or a hobby.
刚开始 如果你不是特别善于交际
If you’re not particularly social to start with,
将很难让你深入其中并开始和每个人交谈
this can be very hard to jump into the deep end and start talking to everyone.
所以你需要加入一个俱乐部或培养一个爱好
This is what you need to join a club or find a hobby
在那里和与你有相似兴趣的人交流
where people with similar interests of yours can congregate.
这会帮助你打破僵局
This will help you break the ice.
与这些人交谈会带给你相当程度的舒适感
It will give you decent level of comfort to converse with these people.
加入一个偏户外的俱乐部更能帮助到你
It helps a lot of you join a club which is more outdoors
像运动 活动 公共社交等内容的俱乐部
like sports or activities and public parts.
因为当你没在和别人交谈时
Because then you’ll have something to do
你有事可以做
when you’re not talking to people.
并且 身处户外自然而然会缓解你的紧张
Also, being out in the open and in nature will naturally ease nerves.
所以 这样能更容易让你开始与别人交流
So it’ll be easier for you to start talking to people.
你还可以通过“meetup.com”这个网站寻找你附近的聚会
You can also use “meetup.com” to find meetups that are happening near you.
建议二 在问候的基础上丰富谈话内容
Number two is to say more than just hi
或许 你在学校或办公室认识很多人
You might know a lot of people in your school or office,
但你可能并没有真正了解他们
but you might not really know who they are.
他们只是你偶尔见面的熟人
They’re just acquaintances that you see every once in in a while.
并且每次遇到他们
And every time you see them,
我们仅仅只是点头示意或是打招呼
we just nod your head and say hi.
想变得更加社会化
Easiest way to start being more social
最简单办法就是开始和你生活中的这些人交流
is to start talking to people like this in your life.
开始和他们交流 对你来说 并不尴尬
It’s not that awkward for you to start talking to them,
因为你对他们已经有所认识
because you already know them on some sort of level.
但这也足以让你走出舒适区
But it’s also different enough to push you out of your comfort zone.
所以你最好在问候别人时 丰富自己的谈话内容
So the best thing to do is to force yourself to say more than just hi.
谈谈最近发生的某件事
Talk about a current event that happened
或者聊聊他们的着装
or maybe you noticed something they’re wearing
尽量避免像运动 天气这类老套的话题
try to avoid cliche topics like the sport or the weather.
因为如果那么聊的话
Because then you won’t really be able to
你们很难建立真正的友谊
form a real connection with the person.
需要记住的是我们在之前的视频中讲过的“福特技巧”
Helpful thing to remember is the Ford technique which we talked about in an earlier video.
并且我建议避免消极话题
Another thing I’d recommend is to avoid talking about negative topics.
在最初几次与人交谈时
Try to stay clear of controversial topics
尽量避开政治等有争议的话题
like politics in your first few interactions with people.
在你与人接触的开始阶段时
In your first few interactions with people if you
如果你没避开这些话题
If you do that,
那么 你就会开始谈到他们所排斥的负面情绪
then you will begin to associate with negative feelings which is something that they don’t want
建议三 不要隐藏你的缺点
Tip number 3 is to bring out your rough edges.
当你与人交谈时 不要试图表现得自己很完美
When you’re talking to people don’t try to act like you’re perfect.
如果你犯了错误 可以一笑了之
If you make a mistake then laugh about it,
谈谈你失败的经历
share stories about your failures
说说你觉得自己有多愚蠢
and talk about how stupid you felt.
这不是自我贬低
This is not self-deprecating.
这只会帮助你与别人建立真正的关系
This only helps you in making a real connection with people.
他们只会认为你很真实
They see you as more authentic.
我们都遇到过那种保守到只谈论某些事情
We’ve all met those really uptight people who only talk about certain things
且从不承认自己错误的人
and refuse to acknowledge their own mistakes.
你不会想成为那种人
You don’t want to become like that.
人们总是喜欢谈论别人缺点
People are attracted to each other’s rough edges.
别人不关心你是否是个完美的人
People don’t care if you’re perfect.
他们只关心你是否完全放松地和他们交谈
All they care about is that you’re at ease with yourself.
尽情展现真实的自我 不要担心自己有缺点
Let your personality shine and don’t be afraid of any part of you.
如果你是古典音乐的拥趸
If you’re really into classical music
而你所有的同事只听流行音乐
and all of your co-workers only listen to pop,
不要尝试去迎合他们的音乐风格
don’t try to conform to their standards.
和他们分享你对音乐的理解
Share your opinions with them.
告诉他们你对某事物热衷的原因
Let them know why you’re passionate about certain things.
当你开始这么做时
When you start to do this you will find that
你会发现更多的人会被你吸引
more people will gravitate towards you,
因为他们知道你有着自己的追求
Because they’ll know that you are actually stand for something
然而重要的是 你不要开始对别人说教
Now the important thing is that you don’t start preaching.
不要因为别人的意见而对他们评头论足
Don’t be judgmental towards others for their opinions
你最好遵守这条黄金法则
It’s best to follow the golden rule here
像你希望别人对待你一样对待别人
Treat others like you would want them to treat you.
建议四 开始和陌生人交谈
So tip number four is to start talking to strangers.
刚开始 你会真的没有勇气
Now this can be really scary at first
当你和有相似兴趣的人交谈时
When you’re a little bit more comfortable talking to
你会感到放松一些
people that you have similar interests with.
之后你就能开始更好的适应和他们交谈
Then you can start going and getting out there more.
开始和你每天可能接触到的陌生人交谈
Start talking to random strangers you might come into contact with every day.
比如通过称赞收银员的手表开始你的交谈
Compliment the cashier on its watch.
火车上和坐在你旁边的女孩交谈
Talk to the girl sitting next to you on the train.
以开放的心态和任何人交流 不要害怕
Just be open to having a conversation with everyone and don’t be afraid of it.
我知道这是一件很伤脑筋的事
I know that this can be very nerve-racking
而且做起来肯定不容易
and it’s something that is certainly not easy to do.
如果这样的话
If that’s the case with you,
那么我建议你和社会工作人员交谈
then I’d recommend that you start talking to people who are paid to talk to you,
比如销售人员 收银员
salespeople, cashiers.
你不需要和他们进行长篇大论般的交流
You don’t have to have the lengthy conversations about the meaning of life with them.
交流的内容只要比你平时多一些就好
You just talk a little bit more than you normally would.
比如说 你去一家饭店 服务员正忙碌着
For example, you go to that restaurant and that waiter is just hanging around.
和他们聊一聊
Talk to them a little bit.
问问菜单上哪些是他们的拿手好菜
Ask them what their favorite dishes from the menu.
我发现当我开始这样做的时候
What I’ve noticed is that as I start to do this,
我和他建立了更人性化的联系
I form a more human connection with the person.
这对我的帮助超乎想象
And this helps me way more than you might expect.
有很多次在餐馆里
Many times in restaurants waiters
服务员明确告诉我不要点某些菜
have explicitly told me not to order certain dishes
虽然这些菜都很贵
even though they were expensive.
有时服装销售人员会告诉我
Sometimes clothes salespeople had told me that it’s better
最好下周再来
if I come in a week after.
因为到时有大甩卖 我能买到更便宜的衣服
Because we’ll be having a sale and I’ll get a better deal.
仅仅是简单的交谈和建立联系
Just talking a little bit and making a connection
就能给你带来意想不到的收获
can come back to you a many that you would never expect.
建议五 不要害怕让自己出丑
Now tip number five is that don’t be afraid to make a fool out of yourself.
中学时期 这可能是我最大的问题
In middle school this was probably the biggest problem for me.
可能也是很多人害怕的
and probably for a lot of people too.
我认为 在社交方面阻碍大多数人的最大原因是
I think the biggest reason that holds the most people back socially is that
他们害怕自己出丑
they’re afraid to make a fool out of themselves.
然而 问题在于
Well here’s the thing even
即便你真的让自己出丑了
Even if you do make a fool out of yourself,
那也没什么大不了的
it’s not really a big deal.
即使你在公交车上说了令人尴尬的话
Nobody will think about it for weeks
也不会有人几周内一直记得
if you say something awkward to them on the bus.
即便你在演讲台上忘词了
And nobody will remember you
也没有人会记得你
if you fumbled while you’re trying to say something on stage.
至少大部分人不记得你
At least for the most part.
让你们大多数人感到惊讶的是
The thing is that may surprise most of you is that
别人和你一样没有安全感
people are just as insecure as you are.
所以他们真的不会操心你的事
So they don’t really have time to worry about you.
他们自己都操心不过来
They’re too busy worrying about themselves.
如果你真的想训练自己完全不在意别人对你的看法
If you really want to condition yourself to not care what other people think.
只要当众脱掉你的衬衫 再到处走走
just take your shirt off in public and walk around.
再把内裤套在裤子上
But wear your underwear around your pants.
一旦你真的这样做了
Once you actually do something like this
你会发现大多数人只会擦肩而过
and realize that most people will simply brush past you.
你会真正意识到 你已经长期无所畏惧了
You’ll truly realize that you’re afraid of nothing for so long.
不过 你没必要走到那种极端
You don’t have to take it to that extreme though
你需要记住的是
All you have to do is remember that
地球上的每个人都有一些共同的特点
everyone on this planet shares some common traits.
地球人99%的基因是相似的
99% of our DNA is similar to everyone else on this planet.
只要你能和一些人交流
As long as you’re able to connect with some people
让他们知道你是谁
and share who you are with them,
你会在生活的各个方面
you’re going to be much happier
变得更快乐 更成功
and in turn much more successful in every facet of your life.
希望你们喜欢这个视频 并从中学到一些东西
Hope you guys enjoy this video and learn something.
如果你们真的访问了InsightJunky的频道
If you did go check out InsightJunky’s Channel,
如果你们能订阅他的频道
personally I would really appreciate it
我个人将不胜感激
if you guys subscribe to him.
感谢收看 下次再见
Thank you for watching and until next video.
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视频概述

本视频将教会你如何更加的善于交际

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Richer

审核员

审核员#LY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pZC02SDkD8

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