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4步带你在一个月内重拾快乐

How to Be Happy Again (1/3): 4 Habits to be Happier in 1 Month

Trying to make yourself feel happy immediately usually backfires.
想方设法让自己立刻开心起来 往往适得其反
Either you end up just seeking momentary pleasures,
要么最终只能得到片刻的欢愉
like food, drugs, buying stuff, hooking up, or distracting yourself,
像是美食 毒品 购物 约会或转移注意力
all of which can make your life worse in the long run.
但长远看来 这些往往会导致生活更糟糕
Or you end up putting so much pressure on yourself to be happy
要么为了开心 给自己施加太大压力
that you make yourself more stressed out and miserable.
最后弄得整个人异常焦虑 痛苦不堪
But that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless.
其实并不是毫无希望
You really can increase your happiness in life,
人们的确可以提高生活中的幸福感
this is a skill you can learn,
这是一项可以学会的技能
and it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot,
对此 我已经思考了很久
because it seems like these last two years
因为过去两年的时光
have sucked the joy out of life a little bit.
好像一点点夺走了我生命中的快乐似的
I used to go places, I used to see people,
以前 我经常去各种地方 见各种各样的人
I used to do things.
还会做很多事情
I’m pretty sure I used to laugh more.
我非常确定 曾经的自己很爱笑
And it’s like my emotions got compressed,
可最近 我的情绪变得很压抑
like smashed down by the pandemic.
就像被病魔击垮了一样
And it’s easier now to feel apathetic
现在的我 更容易感到冷漠 麻木
or numb or low energy and not a lot of excitement.
没有精神 很少感到兴奋
So here’s what I’ve been doing to get that joy back in my life,
所以让快乐重回生活 就是我一直在做的事
and I think it’s been working.
我认为 我的努力并没有白费
So I make a lot of videos about how to feel less sad or anxious,
我做了大量视频 讲解怎么缓解难过或焦虑感
but now I’m gonna make a couple of videos
接下来我会再做一些视频
about how to feel more happiness and joy.
分享如何变得更开心的心得
So watch this space. If you aren’t subscribed, go ahead and hit that subscribe button.
请观看本视频 如果还没订阅 可立即点击按钮
疗法简述
Okay. First, look for the good.
第一步 发现美好
What you focus on you get more of.
你关注什么 就越能得到什么
What you pay attention to your brain gives more emphasis to,
你留意什么 大脑就会越重视什么
and it actually runs more happiness wires
在你关注快乐的时候
when you pay attention to happiness.
大脑实际上会散发更多快乐信号
So that means that you can actively change your brain to be happier
也就是说 你可以通过留心生活中已有的美好
by paying attention to the good things that are already there in your life.
来主动刺激大脑 让自己变得更开心
Now, we’re not trying to force ourselves to feel good,
我们不是要勉强自己要感觉很开心
but rather to like water the seeds of happiness that are already there.
而是给已经种下的幸福种子浇水
So what does that mean? Two simple practices:
什么意思呢?有两种简单的方法:
First is gratitude practice, and second is the three good things exercise.
一种是“感恩训练” 另一种是“三好练习”
So gratitude practice is where you set a reminder on your phone,
感恩训练是指先在手机上设置好提醒
and every day at the same time,
然后 每天同一时间
you just write down a few things that you’re grateful for.
记录要感恩的事情
Uh, now some of you out there are already typing in the comment section,
此刻已经有人在评论区留言了:
“But my life sucks 100% awful all the time.”
“可我的生活一直都充满了不幸!”
Okay. I’m not talking about like,
我并不是说
“Hey, you have to be grateful when you win the lottery.”
非要等你中了彩票 才知道感恩
I’m talking about things like zippers.
好比“拉链理论”
For the last bazillion years, nobody had zippers,
在过去的几百万年前 根本没有拉链
but we have zippers now. That’s cool, right?
现在有拉链了 这难道不妙吗?
Um, hot running water, how cool is that if you have it!
还有 如果你已经用上热自来水了 那多好啊!
Um, sunshine or snow, both of these can be good things, right?
阳光或飘雪 这些也可以很美 不是吗?
You get the idea.
明白了吧
Gratitude practice is really good for the body and the mind.
“感恩训练”对身心健康有很大的好处
I made a video on it. Check it out if you want.
我做了相关的视频 有需要可查看
But gratitude also prouds your brain to look for the good each day.
此外 感恩还能激励大脑 每天都去发现美好
And while gratitude is often for things outside of you,
如果“感恩训练”往往是寻找外在的美
the three good things exercise is looking for the good that you’ve brought about today.
那么“三好练习”则是发现你自身带来的美
And it doesn’t have to be big things.
不一定非得是大事
All that matters is that you give emphasis to the good that you are doing.
重要的是 要注重自己所创造的美好
So little things like, “Oh, today I got out of bed.
一些小事 像是 “今天按时起床啦!
I made dinner.
做了晚餐
I cleaned up the toys 657 times today.
今天整理了657次玩具
I hugged my children.”
还抱了孩子们!”
Right? Research shows that within four to five days of writing three good things,
有研究表明 四到五天内 记录三件积极的事情
just reflecting on the positive, this leads to noticing more positive.
可以让人们感受到更多的正能量
The positive keeps getting louder.
且正能量会越积越多
The clinical trials show, that people who do this for 14 days
临床试验证明 按该方法坚持14天的人
have less burnout and depression.
更不容易感受到倦怠和抑郁
They have a better work-life balance.
而且他们能更好地平衡工作与生活
They have less conflict at school or work.
无论是在校园或职场 都很少与人发生冲突
And they have a higher level of happiness.
因此 他们拥有更高水平的幸福感
And research also shows that the results from those 14 days
研究还表明 坚持14天达到的效果
can last for six months or more.
可持续六个月 甚至更久
So the whole point of this is to show your brain
“三好练习”的关键点在于告诉大脑
what you want it to pay attention to,
你想让它关注什么
and then your brain is going to reward you by looking for more of it
然后大脑就会收集更多你想要的信息 来回报你
and, over time, making you happier.
久而久之 使你更加快乐
José Ortega y Gasset said,
何塞·奥尔特加·伊·加塞特曾说:
“What you think about, you bring about.
“一个人怎么想就会怎么表现
What you feed will grow.
给什么施肥就会长出什么
Tell me what you pay attention to,
告诉我你关注什么
and I will tell you who you are.”
我就可以说出你是怎样的人”
So my family and I are doing this at the dinner table each night.
所以 我们家每晚都会在餐桌上练习
We ask everyone to share something that they’re grateful for
要求每个人都要分享值得感恩的事情
and something good that they did that day,
以及当天做了哪些有意义的事
and I think it’s making a difference.
我觉得这样很有效
So, I mean, parenting can be stressful and exhausting,
照顾孩子可能又累压力又大
and doing this activity with my kids
而通过这项活动
has helped me enjoy being with them more.
让我更喜欢和他们待在一起了
You know what feels amazing?
你知道怎样才会感觉很棒吗?
Doing something that really makes someone else happy.
做一些真正让别人开心的事
I mean, this is a lasting sense of joy.
这样 幸福感才会持久
And I hope you watch the video that comes out next week
希望大家可以观看我下周发的视频
about the study showing that
是一项研究 关于
Americans and Brits, when they try to be happy,
美国人和英国人如果想要开心起来
they tend to do something for themselves.
他们会倾向于自我满足
They tend to buy something, eat something, watch something,
例如买东西 吃好吃的 看表演等
and they tend to feel worse.
然而 这样往往会感觉更糟
But people in Taiwan and Japan and Russia,
而在中国台湾 日本和俄罗斯地区
when they try to be happy,
人们想要开心起来的时候
they try to do something for their friends or family,
他们会尝试为家人或朋友做一些事情
and they tend to feel better.
这样往往会感到更快乐
So, look for chances to serve and help others feel good.
所以 请找机会帮助别人 让他们感到开心
It just feels so good to do something nice for someone else.
真的 帮到别人的感觉 太爽了
Now, the other day I was at Costco, and the lady checking out next to me,
前几天好市多 我旁边有位女士在结账
her credit card wasn’t working.
她的信用卡用不了
So I just walked over there, and I stuck my card in her reader,
我直接走过去 拿我的卡给她刷了
and I surprised her by paying for groceries.
看到我帮忙结账 她惊呆了
And this was like a small thing, she didn’t have very many things on her cart.
其实她的购物车并没多少东西 不过是举手之劳
I mean, it wasn’t a big deal, but it made me smile that whole day.
这不是什么大事 却让我高兴了一整天
And I promise you that if you start your day
去找一个你可以帮助的人
with the intention to find someone to do good to,
我保证 如果你带着这个想法开启自己的一天
you’ll find it like there’s always someone out there
你会发现 在你的周围
that you can do something nice to.
总有你可以帮到的人
And it’s not just service that helps grow your little joy muscles,
不只是为他人服务可以增长你的快乐细胞
any type of connection with others can make a big difference.
与他人任何形式的沟通 都可以产生很好的效果
I mean we’re inherently social creatures,
人类天生就是社交型生物
and as introverted and anxious as you or I may be,
就算你我再内向 再焦虑
we still need people.
也需要接触人群
So social connection helps regulate your nervous system.
社交可以帮助调节人的神经系统
Let me give you an example: The other day I was feeling pretty sick
举个例子:有一天 我身体很不舒服
and exhausted and down,
整个人无精打采
if you didn’t know, I’m pregnant right now.
我现在怀孕了 如果有人还不知道的话
and then I had this phone call with a friend,
然后 我就给朋友打电话
and it was kind of a rousing phone call.
正是这通电话让我打起了精神
And for the first time that day,
那天 我第一次
I actually felt both emotionally and physically better.
真正感觉到身心都更舒适了
So that’s the next thing, right,
这就是我要说的
find a way to connect with others, even if you don’t feel like it.
即使不愿意 也要想办法和别人沟通
Like just put a date with your friend down on the calendar
例如 把与朋友的约会提上日程
or check out the Local Events Page
或者在Local Pages中查一下本地活动
and go to some random events.
然后随机选一些参加
Did you know that my first date with my husband
你们知道吗 我和我丈夫第一次约会
was at the Payson Onion Days Festival?
是在“佩森洋葱节”
So that’s super classy, right?
简直超有品位 对不对?
But it’s like dumb little things like this, can lead to a lot of fun.
这样的事虽然很小 还有点傻乎乎 却能带来巨大乐趣
So whatever you do, it doesn’t have to be fancy.
所以 随便做什么 不用非得精心安排
Just connecting with other people can drastically improve your mood.
只要保持与人交流 就能大幅改善你的心情
When I polled my audience and I asked everyone,
我在调查观众意见时 问过所有人:
you know, what do you do to increase your joy?
“你是怎样提升幸福感的?”
I got a lot of people who said that the thing that makes them happy
许多人对于开心的方式都提到了
is their Zumba class,
学尊巴舞
or rejoining the choir, and it’s, they, they specifically said
或加入合唱团 他们明确表示
it’s just to get a sense of belonging,
这样可以获得一种归属感
like to be with other people in a common cause.
好像有人陪你一起努力
So connection, service, reaching out to other people,
所以 与人交流 互助
is a really powerful way to increase your joy.
是提升幸福感的强有力的方式
Okay. Number three is to slow down
第三 放慢节奏
and savor any little moment that you can find.
细细品味你能发现的每个瞬间
It’s easy for me to get caught up in the hustle of cleaning and cooking
对我而言 打扫卫生 做饭 带孩子和跑业务
and taking care of kids and running a business,
这些都很容易让我陷入忙乱
and it’s easy to miss the beautiful little moments.
从而错过很多美好时刻
But this month I’ve set the goal to slow down
这个月 我决定放慢节奏
and savor those moments with my kids.
好好享受和孩子相处的时光
The other day I was in a big rush,
有一天 我急得不行
making a feeble effort to dry my hair and put on some makeup,
忙着赶紧吹干头发 接着化妆
and River, my four-year-old came up to me in the bathroom
这时 我四岁的女儿River 来到洗漱间
and said, “Mama, I love you.”
对我说:“妈妈 我爱你!”
And it would have been easy for me to just say,
我本可以简单地回一句:
“Oh, I love you, too.” and get back to what I was doing.
“我也爱你!” 然后继续化妆
But I put more effort into hugging them and just looking them in the eyes
但我没有那样做 而是抱住她 看着她的眼睛
and playing with them and reading to them.
然后陪她玩 给她读书
And this sounds really simple, but it’s hard to do
这件事听起来简单 做起来难
when the floors are a mess, and the dishes are dirty,
尤其是当你地还没拖 碗也没洗
and the laundry needs to be folded.
衣服也还没叠的时候
But dishes are patient.
不过碗筷放久点也没事
I’ve found that slowing down and savoring the good
我发现 放慢节奏 享受美好
helps me actually feel the happiness that is there in the moment.
让我切切实实地 体会到了当下的幸福
It helps me actually let that joy sink in.
让我可以把这份快乐沉淀于心
So, if you’d like to put this into practice, there’s a couple of things you can do.
如果你想把这个方法付诸实践 那么有几件事可以做
So one of them is like just try to take a picture
其中一件 就是试着每天拍张照
of something good or beautiful each day, or write it down.
记录一些积极美好的事情 写下来也可以
So again, every time we emphasize the good,
再次强调 我们每一次对美好事物的重视
we reinforce in our brain to look for more good.
都会促使大脑去收集更多美好
I really like the app Day One for Journaling (they’re not a sponsor),
我真的很喜欢Day One for Journaling这个软件(他们可不是赞助商啊)
and I try to put pictures of my kids
我把孩子们的照片
or the good things from the day into the app.
还有其他美好回忆 都记录在这个软件上了
And then when I look back, I can remember all the good times
等我回头再来看的时候 就可以随时记起这些美好
and not just the stressful and exhausting ones.
而不是只能想到那些压抑和疲惫的时光
So for example, the other morning at 5 am
例如 有天早晨5点
my two-year-old came into bed with me,
我两岁的女儿过来和我一起睡
and then she started laughing hilariously, so I videoed it.
然后她开始爆笑 我就把当时的情况录下来了
And now I have a happy little memory for the rest of my life
现在我拥有了一段小小的快乐的回忆 可供余生回味
of Grace farting in my bed.
那就是:Grace在被子里放屁
Ok. So that brings us to number four. Um, the last one is laughter.
接下来 到第四步 也是最后一步——笑
And isn’t laughter the best?
笑难道不是最厉害的吗?
I really think laughter is a wonderful way
我真的认为 笑是一种非常棒的方式
to convert the worst things into the best things.
能把最糟糕的事情变好
I, I personally, I haven’t seen research on this. I personally believe
虽然目前还没看到相关研究 不过我个人认为
laughter primes your nervous system to have joy,
笑可以让快乐充盈每一根神经
and it helps you release pain and fear and to just feel good.
帮你释放痛苦和忧虑 只留下喜悦
When I was serving in Argentina, it was hard and it was exhausting
我之前在阿根廷服役的日子 又苦又累
and it was emotionally draining and I didn’t want to write home about that.
严重耗费情感 所以我不愿意跟家里提起
So each week I would make a list of the funny things that happened to me
为了确保有话题和家人聊
so that I had something to tell my family.
我每周都会把身上发生过的趣事列出来
So here’s an excerpt from my 21-year-old self
接下来这段话 就是选自我21岁时的一封信
(we were living in an insect-infested apartment
(当时我们住在一间 被虫子包围的公寓
full of mosquitoes and roaches and large spiders)
到处都是蚊子 蟑螂和大蜘蛛)
“Things are super excellent here.
“这里发生了很多超好玩的事!
I really don’t have much time today, but thanks to everyone who wrote me.
我今天没有太多时间回复 谢谢大家给我写信
First off business: I forgot to tell you how to harvest mosquitoes.
第一件:之前忘记告诉你们怎么捉蚊子了
Go to your wardrobe, swoosh your clothes around
走到衣柜 把衣服甩一甩
looking for something other than a skirt to wear,
找一些裙子以外的衣服穿
and breathe in.
然后吸气
Surely, a few dozen will fly up your nostrils.
肯定有些蚊子会飞到你鼻子里
Also, the funniest thing: We were just standing in the kitchen one day
最好笑的是 有一天 我和Amber在厨房里
(we don’t have a kitchen table),
(厨房连台子都没有)
and a cockroach runs up Amber’s leg,
一只蟑螂就跳到了她腿上
up her skirt, and into her underwear and starts squirming around,
从裙子爬到内衣里 开始跳来跳去
and they’re squished between her undies and her leg.
后来被挤得在她内衣和大腿之间来回蹦哒
If that’s not funny, I don’t know what is.”
如果这都不算有趣 那还有什么能算呀!”
Okay, so these stories aren’t like that great,
这些故事其实也没那么精彩
but I had to find something funny to get through that painful situation.
但我当时必须靠一些所谓趣事 熬过那种痛苦的状态
So this is one of the ways I try to find joy
这就是我 当生活看起来很难的时候
even when life seems hard.
努力快乐起来的方法之一
So some months I set a rule for myself that I have to laugh hard every day.
这几个月 我给自己制定了一个规则——每天必须大笑
I make it a checklist thing.
我还做了检查表
I’m a big fan of just setting one or two little monthly goals
我非常喜欢设定一两个每月的小目标
that take one minute
花一分钟就可以完成
and just checking off the days when I do them.
完成的时候 只用勾选日子就可以
So I try to find a way to laugh with friends.
我会想办法多和朋友待在一起
And if that doesn’t happen, I just try to watch funny videos with my husband.
朋友没时间的话 就和丈夫看看搞笑视频
And that really just seems to help
生活有时候很难
when the days seem hard sometimes.
这样做好像真的有帮助
And on that point, right, the algorithm on YouTube and Instagram
在这点上 YouTube和Instagram中的算法
is kind of like your brain.
就相当于人体中的大脑
So the videos you engage with any content on Instagram or YouTube,
你在Ins和YouTube上任何的相关行为
if you watch them, share them, like them, comment on them,
比如你看了视频 分享了 点赞评论了
that tells YouTube or Instagram to send you more of the same.
就等于告诉它们 多给你推送类似的东西
So I try to make an effort to heart all the Reels on Instagram that are funny.
因此 我给Ins上所有好玩的视频都点赞了
and then I save them so I can watch them again later.
然后还保存了 以便之后我可以再次观看
And this shows Instagram what I like,
这就是向Ins展示我喜欢什么样的
so it shows me more funny videos.
之后 它就会给我推送更多好玩的视频
Your brain works the same way. What you emphasize, you get more of.
大脑同样如此 你越重视什么 就会更多地收获什么
So anything you can do to emphasize the good in your life
所以 要想关注生活中的美 你能做的就是
tells your brain what is most important,
告诉大脑 什么是最重要的
and then your brain devotes more resources to making you feel more of that.
然后大脑就投入更多资源 让你感受到更重要的事物
So anything good, anything happy, if you write it down,
如果有好的 高兴的事情 就记下来
you think about it, you remember it, you tell other people,
不断回想 加深记忆 告诉别人
all of that tells your brain,
所有这些行为 都是在告诉大脑:
“Make more neural pathways of happiness, please!”
“请给我传递更多的快乐吧!”
Okay. So I’ve been using this little habit builder with my family
我们家一直用“习惯养成表”
to track our success.
记录每个人的成就
Every day we check it off if we hugged or if we prayed
如果我们完成了拥抱 祷告
or if we said positive things at dinner or cleared our plates.
或者晚餐时说一些积极的事情 或者洗碗 每天就会在上面打勾
These are the goals we were working on for the month.
这些就是我们本月的目标
And to be honest, those little teeny goals, they took a minute or two each day,
说实话 这些小目标每天花一两分钟就能完成
I’ve noticed a huge difference in our home.
但我已经看到家里发生了很大的变化
We have something uplifting to talk about at dinner,
我们有更多能调动情绪事情可以在晚餐时聊
and it just seems like we’re more connected and happier.
似乎变得更加亲密 也更加快乐
So I hope that you are able to find your sources of lasting happiness
所以 希望大家都能找到属于自己的长久幸福的来源
and find the joy that makes you feel alive and vibrant again.
找到让你再次焕发活力的事情
So this is not a formula for immediate feeling good,
所以 这并不是“瞬间开心”公式
but I do think that over time it fosters a greater sense of happiness.
但我相信随着时间累积 一定会产生更强烈的幸福感
So thank you for watching, I love you all, and take care!
感谢大家的观看!爱你们!保重!

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视频概述

在生活的重压下,越来越多人变得痛苦压抑,或者盲目追求快感。而现在,四个习惯养成,即可让你一个月就发自内心的快乐。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

YXG-31a42

审核员

审核员TL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A07TCTc2ho0

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