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如何像“龙妈”一样魅力十足? – 译学馆
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如何像“龙妈”一样魅力十足?

How To Be Charming Without Trying

在欣赏《权利的游戏》片段时
While watching clips from my last Game of Thrones video,
我偶然发现了一些演员访谈片段
I stumbled across some cast interview clips
我无法不注意到
and I couldn’t help but notice
艾米丽·克拉克举手投足间有多么迷人
how effortlessly charming Emilia Clarke was.
[大笑]
[Laughter]
我决定再看一些访谈
I decided to watch a few more interviews
果然 她展示出了一些富有魅力的习惯
and sure enough she displays a number of charismatic habits
它们看似简单却效果显著
though all seemingly simple are extremely powerful.
因此在这个短片中 我们将详细分析四个令艾米莉如此魅力十足的习惯
So in this video we are going to break down four of Emilia’s habits that make her so charming.
这些习惯初看似乎很平常
Many of these may sound basic at first glance,
然而有些细微之处
but there are nuances that
如果你能领悟 它们就会从平凡的建议
take them from ordinary basic advice to extremely charismatic
变成使你富有魅力的习惯
if you hit the nuance.
第一个习惯更为微妙
The first one of these is a more subtle point,
首先 当你看着艾米丽
but it starts with something that you cannot help
你就忍不住注意到
but notice when watching Emilia-
她不时露出的喜气洋洋的笑脸
her beaming and frequent smile.
那笑容照亮了她的脸
It lights up her whole face.
[大笑]
[Laughter]
笑是交流友好意愿的最快方式之一
Smiling is one of the fastest ways to communicate friendly intentions
它令别人感到放松
and put other people at ease.
可是因为这很容易做到
But since it’s so easy to do,
人们学会了利用假笑来获得利益
people have learned to fake it to their advantage,
然后我们无意识地学会了如何辨别
and we in turn have learned unconscious ways of detecting
哪种笑是发自内心的
which smiles are genuine
哪种笑是为了耍弄我们
and which are meant to manipulate us.
潜意识里我们辨别笑容时不看嘴 而看眼睛
Subconsciously we don’t look at the mouth but the eyes
如果一个人的眼睛下面或周围
if a person’s eyes don’t have any flexion in the muscles
没有任何肌肉弯曲
below or around their eyes.
我们就认为那是假笑
We judge that smile to be fake
有时我们因为从别人的笑容中察觉到了潜在的愚弄意味
and sometimes distrust the person for that
而不信任那个人
perceived attempt at manipulating us.
艾米丽的笑容十分真诚不虚伪
Emilia isn’t even close to triggering this
在接下来这个短片里请看着她的眼睛
though look at her eyes in this next clip.
那并不是刻意的夸张
And … and that’s not an exaggeration
如果你曾在她大笑时 跟她说话
if you were ever talking to Emilia when she laughs.
她的眉毛会毫不夸张地向下弯曲
Her eyebrows literally turned upside down.
[大笑]
[Laughter]
当然 艾米丽没有专注于
Of course Emilia isn’t focused on
通过挤压眼部肌肉以显得自己真诚
squeezing her eye muscles precisely to appear genuine.
你也不应该那么做
And neither should you be.
相反 她真诚的微笑来自
Instead, her genuine smile comes from
她可以找出任何事物幽默之处的能力
allowing herself to find the humor in everything.
这就是细微之处
This is the nuance,
看似明显的一点
and while it might seem like an obvious point
我们在无意识的情况下约束着自己
more often than we realize we restrain ourselves
不露出真实的笑脸 不放声大笑
from these genuine smiles or genuine laughter.
有时是因为我们对自嘲感到不愉快
Sometimes it’s because we’re uncomfortable laughing at ourselves.
我们觉得那样做可能会降低自己的社会地位
We think that it would hurt our social standing to do that.
而艾米丽用自身证明了
Emilia proves that a willingness to laugh at yourself
乐于自嘲的人其实是非常有魅力的
is actually extremely charismatic.
嗨 我是艾米丽·克拉克
Hi, I’m Emilia Clark.
你将发现一些第一手素材
And you’re gonna find out some first-time stuff.
不……别这么说 [大笑]
No… Don’t say that.[Laughter]
还有些时候我们克制住微笑和大笑
Other times we hold back on smiling and laughter
因为我们觉得保持魅力
because we can think of charisma as something that requires us
需要我们成为主导人和公众注意的中心
to always be the leader to be the one in the spotlight.
当我们处于这种竞争观念时
And when we are in this competitive mindset,
如果有人讲了个笑话
and someone else tells a joke,
我们可能会控制自己不发笑
rather than laugh we might hold back,
而试图让人们被我们讲的笑话逗笑
and look for a way to make people laugh at our next joke.
但是 艾米丽没有落入自负的圈套
But Emilia doesn’t fall into that ego trap.
比如在下一段片子中 塞斯·梅尔对艾米莉亚的故事
In the next clip for instance Seth Meyers is piling onto a story
做了一些引申
that she had just told,
而她毫无异议地将焦点转移给他
and she has no problem shifting the spotlight over to him,
让他感到好笑 使他成为焦点
making him feel funny, making him the center of attention.
顺便说一下 唯一能比
By the way, the only thing that would be worse than
有人去你家的时候看到这些东西更糟的
a guy coming to your house seen this
“嗯?”“是相反 你去别人家里时 看到了这些东西”
– Yes.- Is the reverse, you go into a guy’s house and seeing this
“是的 正是”“是”
– Yes, exactly!- Yeah!
“正是”“真像”
– Exactly!- That’s the real like!
“是”“是”
– Yeah.- Yeah.
虽然这与直觉相反 但将聚光点留给你周围的人
It’s counterintuitive, but highlighting the people around you,
让他们觉得有趣
making them feel funny,
让他们觉得就像有聚光灯打在自己身上一样
well like they have the spotlight on them
反而会增加你自己的魅力
leads to your own charisma rising.
艾米莉亚愿意随意的大笑
Now Emilia’s willingness to smile and laugh freely
引出了我们要说的第二点
actually leads to our second major point.
就是当我们讽刺的喜剧本能
And it’s when our sarcastic comedic instincts
可能让我们贬低某人的时候
might tell us to cut someone down.
艾米莉亚总是借机鼓励人们
Emilia often takes those opportunities to build people up.
而现在的年青人做的往往相反
Now the reverse is especially common in young men
如果有人向他们讲了个不好笑的笑话
who learned to say things like “cool story bro”
他们只会说“呵呵 真有意思”
when someone makes a bad joke.
而艾米莉亚尽力避免让对方受挫
But Emilia avoids these low blows.
在下一个片段中 吉米·福伦讲了一个蹩脚的笑话
Jimmy Fallon in this next clip cracks a lame joke.
艾米莉亚非但没有取笑他
And rather than tease him for it,
还配合着他赢得了身后的观众
she supports it gets the audience behind him.
“砸碎它”“砸碎它”
– Smashed it.- Smashed it.
“在英国那意味着酷 对吗”“帅呆了 对”
– And in England that means cool, right?- Killed it. Yeah.
震惊全场
Slay.
[大笑]
[Laughter]
“好”“我只是瞎编的”
– Okay!- I just made it up.
我挺喜欢它的 没关系 slay挺好的
I like it. I like it. Yeah, no problem. OK. I’ll take that. Slay. That’s ok. Slay.
是 那些词[大笑]
Yeah, the words.[ Laughter ]
当你和别人一起笑而不是笑话别人的时候
You generate massive goodwill
你就展现出了极大的善意
when you laugh with someone rather than at them.
是的 当你挑某个人的刺的时候
And, yes, even though the whole room might laugh
你也可以让所有人发笑 但即使这样
when you pick on one individual,
支持一下别人总是更好的选择
it’s usually better to take the supportive role.
这么做仍然可以显得你幽默风趣
And you can still be funny while doing it.
如何你想了解更多
Our videos on yes ending dive deeper into this topic
本片尾将更深入探讨这个话题
if you’d like more.
但先声明 我并没有说
Now to be clear, I don’t mean to say
你永远不能亲昵地戏弄别人
that you can never lovingly tease people.
艾米莉亚就经常这么做
Emilia does it on occasion.
不过有意思的是她总是能找到办法
But interestingly she often find ways
在打趣中不留声色地夸奖别人
to sneak subtle compliments into those teases.
比如她打趣基特·哈灵顿逢人就抱怨自己
Watch as she teases Kit Harington for complaining about
在《权利的游戏》剧集中的戏服太过厚重
his heavy outfit on the Game of Thrones set.
一方面 她轻松嘲笑基特发牢骚
On the one hand she is lightly mocking him for complaining
另一方面她却说
but she also says this:
“拍摄环境实在是太冷了”
Always in the cold.
“我知道他确实需要…只是他逢人就会说这些”
I know he does need… just really like to tell everyone about that.
没错 戏服真的很重 真的很重
Yeah, he does. It’s really heavy. It’s really heavy.
所以它……哈哈哈……
So it… hahaha…
但你可以在温暖的地方穿着简装
So but you could be like warm places wearing silk.
是呢 我们知道……这就是问题所在 基特不停的抱怨
Yeah. We know… know this is the thing. Kit always complain
因为他需要一直穿着它 那真是一件非常重的披风
cuz he’s always in and then it’s a it’s a very heavy cloak.
那是一件非常 真的非常重的披风
It’s a very, it’s a very heavy cloak.
—“味道也不太好闻吧?”—“是啊 而且戏服很重他几乎支撑不住”
– It must smell terrible.- He is… yeah, he’s not holding them up.
这样其实还好
And so it’s fine…
还是在讲好笑的笑话 但是重点是
To still be cracking jokes but make the punchline that
让你的朋友和爱人显得很受欢迎 很酷
your friends and loved ones are attractive well-liked and cool.
克里斯·埃文斯在这方面很在行
Chris Evans is an expert at this.
我将在下面给出几个他的视频链接
I’m gonna link to a video with him below.
这里只举几个简单的例子
But here are just a few quick examples.
我被偷窥了 我……
I get pried. I get …
难过的是我从来没被捶进去过 你被偷窥了?
I never get hammer up which is really upset.
[大笑]
[ Laughter ]
请把我当成海姆斯沃斯
Please think I’m Hemsworth. Please think I’m Hemsworth.
—“你觉得自己是英雄系列的电影的教父吗?”—“不管他怎么觉得”
– feel like the godfather of these Super Hero movies- whether he feels or not he is
你知道他一定会说些谦虚低调的话
Whether you know he’s gonna say something really like humble and symbol,
我还没准备好 我很酷行了吧
I’m not ready. I’m cool.
无论如何
I’ll be like oh no what happened anyway
所有人都知道
This wouldn’t happen without Downey,
没有唐尼这些电影就不会那么出色
and nobody doesn’t know that.
回到艾米丽·克拉克
Back to Emilia Clark,
我怀疑艾米丽
I suspected part of the reason
能够轻易调动自己积极情绪的部分原因是
that those genuine positive emotions come so easily to her
她跟其他人不一样
is because unlike so many people,
她并不打算进行平常的互动
she isn’t trying to have normal interactions.
她并不满足于融入和匹配房间里的气氛
She doesn’t want to blend in and match the energy of the room.
相反 她几乎一直在提高互动者的积极性
Instead she almost always raises the energy of the interactions that she was involved in.
即使这一做法不总是能立刻引人注目
This is an extremely powerful habit
但是它效果显著
even though it isn’t always immediately noticeable
在下一段视频中 你能看到她有多热情
In this next clip you can see how her enthusiasm
她似乎比谈话对象的热情高很多
seems to be one level above the people that she’s speaking to
起初这体现在她的开场上 然后是她面对提问时
first in her introduction and then in the questions that are asked of her
-“很高兴见到你”-“我也很高兴”
-Good to see you again.-Lovely to see you as well.
不能向别人剧透是不是很令人郁闷?
Is it frustrated at all that you can’t talk about it?
对 特别郁闷 我忍不住要说出来了
Yeah, deeply. I can’t wait for this to be out
我就是想说出来 我全都知道
I’m going to say it. I know it.
对 就是
-Yeah, that’s…
你会不会对剧场拍档产生感情?
Do you have like a emotional connections to the theme partners?
对 就是这样 对 我是 真的
it’s…I really do, it’s… I re… genuinely.
你需要很大的勇气才能变得更热情
Upping our energy level can be a scary thing to do,
因为人性的缺点就是追求平庸
because our default is to try to be normal to blend in,
但是当你比一个稍显沉闷的团队
but when you come in with one energy level higher than
更加热情时
a group one level sillier than the situation calls for
人们往往会将注意力放在你身上
people almost always appreciate it.
即使是在严肃的商业场合或者专业场合下
Even when we’re in a serious business mode or cool professional mode,
我们也喜欢感受到生活中比较轻松的一面
we love to be reminded of the lighter side of life.
艾米丽就经常用她高于常人的热情做到这一点
And Emelia does this frequently with her higher more playful energy,
也许你认为这不适用于商业环境
and just in case you were thinking this doesn’t apply to business settings,
听听《权力的游戏》的制片人
listen to the Game of Thrones producers
讲述艾米丽是如何在竞争激烈的试镜中
talk about how Emelia won the role of Daenerys Targaryen
得到丹妮莉丝·坦格利安这个角色的
in a high stakes audition,
尽管她以前从来没有演过太有名的角色
even though she had never acted outside of a few bit roles.
这很有可能是
It was quite possibly
我们见过的最不吸引人的试镜环境
the least inviting audition environment we had ever witnessed,
公司的总裁已经有些点头打瞌睡了
still the president of the company was playing it close to the chest he nodded,
艾米丽问 她可以做点啥来燃起气氛
Emilia asked if there was anything else she could do to lighten the mood.
大卫要求她不漏一个节拍地跳个舞
David asked can you dance and without missing a beat
于是艾米丽跳了机械舞
Emilia did the robot,
甚至连总裁都被逗笑了
and even the president had no choice but to smile,
她出了试镜室没一会儿 就得到了这个角色
she got the job 10 seconds after she left the room
我们迫不及待地告诉了她
and the two of us ran to tell her.
所以当你出现在任何社交场合的时候
so when you find yourself in any social situation,
不要尽力使自己显得普通 试着让自己有趣些
don’t try to be normal, try to have fun,
即使这意味着你要比别人更热情 积极
even if it means that you’re the first one to be more enthusiastic, energetic or positive,
最后一个使艾米丽如此吸引人的简单习惯
now the last very simple habit that makes Emilia so effortlessly charming is
就是 她是一个积极的听众
that she is an active listener,
她让对方觉得自己讲的话真的被倾听了
she makes the people communicating with her feel validated and heard,
现在你已经看过她对别人开的很有效的玩笑了
now you’ve already seen examples of this in her validating jokes from other people,
但是主动倾听比它更为微妙
but active listening can be even more subtle than that,
例如 她经常在倾听的时候重复对方的语言
for instance she often listens while repeating phrases that that person has just said.
-“那很古怪”-“很古怪 不是吗”
-it’s just weird-it’s weird, isn’t it?
-“古怪得像50 60岁的人看着你”-“对 就是很古怪”
-it’s weird like 50 60 people watching you.-yeah, that’s mal yeah other times.
还有时候她只简单地说一些鼓励和肯定的话
Other times she simply says words that are encouraging and affirmative.
很多演员在停机的时间 都会玩Heads up
But everybody plays,there was a lot down time and you’ll play heads up.
对 是的 我们会玩这个游戏
Yeah, exactly. No, we do, we do.
-“这是个消磨时光的好游戏”-“对 是的 完全正确”
-It’s a fun game that passes the time.-Yes, yeah, exactly.
-“这都是梦”-“是的 正确 再正确不过了”
– It was all the dream.- Yeah, exactly! exactly!
这个习惯最棒的地方在于它十分隐蔽
The cool thing about this habit is that it is very under the radar,
人们变得感觉良好
people begin to feel good,
他们将这种感觉和你联系起来 却不知道是为什么
and to associate that feeling with you without really knowing why,
而且这让他们产生了
and it contributes to them feeling
“虽然解释不了为什么 但是我就是喜欢这样” 的情绪
I don’t really know how to explain it but I just like them,
有很多方法可以让你变得迷人
there are a lot of ways to be charming,
但是我想艾米丽凸显了最优雅简洁的一种
but I think Emilia highlights one of the most elegant.
通过传播自己的积极情绪来感染别人 使他们快乐起来
You make other people feel good by modeling how to feel good yourself,
当你感到舒心惬意时 你应该通过各种方法将其表达出来
when you are happy and are comfortable expressing it in a generous way
比如你的笑容和笑声
with your smiles your laughter,
你对他人的肯定
your affirmations of other people,
它可以帮你擦去过往并使人们认识到你更有魅力
it has a way of rubbing off and making them perceive you as more charismatic.
如果你现在想找一些可以真正
Now if you’re looking for more resources on how to really lock in
培养你自信 积极习惯的资源
these confident positive habits,
我强烈推荐你看看我们在“魅力大学”上的课程
I highly recommend checking out our course Charisma University.
我超爱这个频道
I love love love this channel,
但是它的问题之一是 有些你脑中的想法
but part of the issue with it is that these can become ideas
可能只会停留在理论阶段
that stay in your head as pure theory,
纯粹的理论 即便是在全世界都通用 也不会改变你的生活
and pure theory even if there’s all of it in the world is not going to change your life.
而“魅力大学”上的视频都是关于采取行动的
Charisma University is all about taking action
每天都有不同的行动指南 上面印着你可以做到的事
each day has a specific action guide with one thing that you can do,
它非常简单 每个人都可以做到
so simple that anyone can do it
它一共持续30天 每天都有任务要做
It’s a 30 day program and it’s that day after day action taking
它真的是通过长时间的努力来产生改变的
that really is what creates change over the long haul.
所以它不是学习或者在脑子里空想
So instead of just learning about charisma,
该如何变得有魅力 你在做出真正能够达成目标的改变
and thinking about it intellectually you are making real changes that lead to you mastering,
你的自信心 你给别人的第一印象 你的身体语言和你的魅力
your confidence, your first impressions, your body language and your charisma.
所以如果你想变得更有魅力
So if you want to take your charisma to the next level,
请点击下方的链接观看我们的课程
go ahead click the link below to check out the course.
它会把你带到报名参加课程的页面
It’s going to take you to a page where you can join,
60天内无条件退款
that comes with a 60 day no questions asked money back guarantee
确保你不用担心任何事
so you don’t have to worry about anything.
希望你们能参加这门课程
Now I hope that you decide to join this course,
不管怎样 真心希望你喜欢这个视频
either way I really hope that you have enjoyed this video.
期待下次再会
And I will look forward to seeing you in the next one.

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译制信息
视频概述

我们对“龙妈”艾米莉亚 ·克拉克的个人习惯做了详细的分析,并整合出了四个让你变得更有魅力的建议。

听录译者

Lost.

翻译译者

一千九

审核员

审核员_XY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtqszmRCHFw

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