For approximately 80 years, the notion of what a man should be like has been heavily
influenced by the idea of ‘cool’. The cast of seductively cool figures includes:
亨弗莱·鲍嘉 让·保罗·贝尔蒙多 马塞洛·马斯楚安尼
Humphrey Bogart, Jean-Paul Belmondo, Marcello Mastroianni,
詹姆斯·邦德 鲍勃·迪伦 瑞恩·高斯林 以及 本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇
James Bond, Bob Dylan, Ryan Gosling and Benedict Cumberbatch.
The cool man doesn’t try too hard
你不会看到他们惊慌失措的样子 不管怎样他们都成功了 酷男拥有完美身材
you don’t see them floundering about in a panic – but they succeed anyway. They are physically confident,
they can scale a mountain or saunter down a deserted street in the middle of the night;
if they have to kill someone they will do it neatly with minimal fuss
酷男不忧心忡忡 他们独立自主 自信满满 衣着得体
they don’t worry, they are self-contained and sure of themselves; their trousers are always a perfect fit
they express themselves briefly – but their words are always to the point
酷男不畏权势 自身不喜权力 无拘无束
they’re not meek in the face of authority; but they don’t crave power themselves: they are independent.
The essential characteristic of the cool man is an aura of invulnerability, well handled:
without any showing off or bragging. When the house is on fire, the cool man doesn’t
酷男不会大呼小叫 或是拨打火警电话 他只会对刚从浴室出来的女朋友打趣道:
scream or call the fire brigade; ‘temperature’s rising, baby’, he quips to his current girlfriend
亲爱的 温度在上升 之后他会自己扑灭火焰
as she emerges from the shower. Then he casually puts out the blaze himself.
当服务生不小心把鸡尾酒洒在他身上时 酷男依然镇定自若 脱下外套
When the waiter spills a cocktail over him, the cool man doesn’t get flustered; he removes his jacket and looks
而那件衬衫甚至更加惹眼 当老板态度强硬时 酷男只会轻蔑一笑
even better in his shirt. When his boss is being difficult, the cool man smiles ironically:
he can walk away from the job at any moment. This is what, as a man, one is supposed to
be like. For decades some of the most astute and creative minds have devoted themselves
为“男子气概”增添吸引力 这一概念被描绘成对女性有吸引力 令女性羡慕
to making this notion of masculinity attractive – it’s been portrayed as enviable, seductive
并且衣着得体 这一形象已然跃然纸上 这就是“真男人”的样子
to women, and well-dressed. And the image has worked: it’s what you need to be a real man.
And – perhaps daily – this model of manhood tortures us with the gap between its ideals and our reality
不过 另一种更现实 更重要的好男人形象
But there’s another – more realistic and more important – vision of what a good man is like
that’s comparatively been given very much less attention and creative encouragement.
This is the very opposite of the cool man,
我们称之为 暖男 暖男自己不参与灭火
what we call: the warm man. The warm man does not put out many fires by himself.
他也不会除掉任何一个人 相反地 他能充分意识到自己的焦虑情绪
He hasn’t killed anyone either. He is, instead, very much alive to his own anxiety.
He would drop the gun and would tell you he did quite candidly. What is distinctive, and admirable,
特点鲜明 值得赞扬 对于焦虑 暖男心知肚明 真诚相待 甚至与之戏耍
is the warm man’s relationship to this anxiety. He is aware of it, honest about it, funny with it
– and yet not overwhelmed by it. The warm man has a good sense of how demented and fragile we all are.
所以他尽力使人安心 宽厚待人 温文尔雅
So he goes out of his way to reassure, to be forgiving and to be gentle. He has tried
有时 他为了更好的结果而用尽全力 但常常事与愿违
very hard, at times, to get things to work out better for himself but it frequently hasn’t worked.
暖男深知悲伤为何物 他干过傻事 失去过爱人
The warm man has known many sorrows: he has done stupid things, he has lost people
he loved, he has made daft decisions. His weaknesses have made him immensely generous to others.
When the waiter spills the cocktail, the warm hero laughs (they have spilled a few cocktails themselves)
and leaves a generous tip if he can. When he forgets someone’s name (which he does quite often)
the warm hero is ashamed but frank and says sincerely
真的不好意思 我一时想不起来您的名字了 原谅我吧 请问您叫…
I’m really sorry, and very embarrassed, but it’s slipped my mind… forgive me, help me out…
当暖男搞砸了工作 他不会遮遮掩掩 而是感到抱歉并当众道歉
When they’ve messed up at work, the warm person admits it, feels sorry, openly apologises
and explains as best he can what actually went wrong and how he might be put it right in future.
The essence of the warm man is vulnerability well-handled; he is conscious
of his flaws and failings but uses this knowledge to become interestingly humorous and a rich
source of sympathy for the secret troubles of every life he encounters.
理想的情况是 有一天 做暖男和做酷男一样值得
Ideally, one day, it will be as desirable to be called warm as it currently is to be labelled ‘cool’;
there will be lists of the 40 warmest men under 40; boys will come home from school
太难了 我真的做不到 我不知道该如何成为暖男
and complain to their mothers: ‘I can’t do it, I can’t, I don’t know how to be warm
girls at fashionable bars will take mental notes of where the warm guys are sitting;
and in the secret soul of every man there will be a quiet, steady yearning to be as
warm as they possibly can.
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