How to be a genius like Nikola Tesla?
Number one: make sure your brain has adequate blood flow.
Your brain is your most important muscle,
more so than anything else.
To be a genius like me,
your brain will require a lot of blood.
Every night before bed, I squeeze each toe 100 times!
To push the blood from my feet into my brain.
Nah, better start over.
Number two, have blue eyes.
My mother and father both had brown eyes, and they were not geniuses.
But I have blue eyes, and I am a genius.
I think not.
My brain uses so much mental energy
that it has actually absorbed the melanin in my iris over time.
Causing my naturally dark eyes to become blue.
Number three, never write anything down.
Taking notes is for dummies.
Things like advanced calculus can easily be done all in your head,
so writing down notes and showing your process
is unnecessary and will only slow you down.
There should be no evidence of your genius left after you die.
If you’re having a hard time thinking of a solution to a problem,
a simple seizure where blinding lights flash before your eyes
should give you the answer in a vision.
Ah ha! 42!
第四条：工作 工作 还是工作
Number four, work, work, and more work.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to be born a genius like me.
But there is no limit to the amount of things you can sacrifice for your work！
For example, I sleep less than 4 hours a night.
I have also never had any of those time wasting romantic entanglements.
Remember: Be Alone!
Be A Genius!
That is the secret to invention.
I mean, can you even name one invention
that has been made by a married man?
I sure can’t.
Number five, be thin and tall.
I am very tall and thin, and therefor I am very healthy.
I also only eat vegetables and it’s a well-known fact
that vegetarians are better people than non-vegetarians.
I also walk 8 to 10 miles per day
and I have had zero weight variance in the last 40 years.
Strong tall thin body, strong mind.
Number 6, Personal grooming.
You must protect yourself from germs at all costs.
But soap is made from animals, so we can’t use that.
That’s why I invented a device
that will zap all the germs on your body with glorious electricity!
It’s the safe way to stay clean.
Number seven, don’t let your enemies get too close.
Did you know that I invented the x-ray?
I took the very first x-ray photograph ever.
And I would have proof too
if that dog Edison hadn’t burned my laboratory to the ground
along with all my radioactive material andfrayed wires!
Check the description for a link to my video:
“Top 10 Reasons Thomas Edison Is Just The Worst And Is A Moron”,
if you’d like to know more.
Number eight, don’t be too choosy about investors.
When you’re a full-time genius inventor, like me,
you need to get your money from somewhere.
I thought my Ruby Death Ray invention would be a no-brainer
for the American Military.
I even demonstrated how it would work!
But they were too short-sighted to recognize its moon-exploding potential.
And so I sold it to the Russians!
Number nine, don’t believe everything you hear.
Theory of Relativity?
Number ten, pigeons. Ah!
If, like me, you’re too busy being a genius to have a wife,
a beautiful pigeon is just as good
as a human woman to love and care for.
I remember there was this one pigeon…
She was different from all the others…
She had pure white feathers, with grey tips on her wings.
I loved that pigeon as a man loves a woman.
And she loved me.
I even spent my entire life savings nursing her back to health
when she broke her wing.
That is true love.
There you have it!
How to be a genius like me, Nikola Tesla.
Thank you for watching my video.
Leave a comment below to let me know
how my tips for becoming a genius have improved your life!
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Nine more toes to go!