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给《霍比特人:五军之战》换个结尾

How The Battle Of The Five Armies Should Have Ended (feat. Screen Junkies)

儿子 看我
Look at me son.
看着我
Look at me.
除了死
You have nothing left…
你什么东西也留不下
but your death!
坚持住…
Hold still…
啊!!!
Arhhhh!!!!!
发射!
Crap!
打歪了
Deflected!
噢 不
Oh no!
燃烧吧
Burn!!
霍比特人五军之战该如何结尾呢
How The Battle of the Five Armies Should Have Ended
你需要帮助吗 女士
Are you in need of some assistance, my lady?
不 一切都会很顺利
No, everything will be just fine.
因为我们在下部剧里就会大功告成了
Because we all make it to the next movie!!!
很对哦
Oh yes, alright!
并不包括你
Except you…
噢(不满)
Awww.
我听着呢
I’m listening.
我只是想让你知道 我杀死了那条龙
I just wanted to let you know, I killed the dragon.
哪条龙
What dragon?
哪条龙?!
What dragon?!?
那条在河谷镇的龙 你灭不了而放任自流的龙
The dragon that you couldn’t handle and let loose on Laketown.
噢 那条龙啊
Oh, that dragon.
我杀了它
I killed it.
你想说什么
What is your point?
所以我的技能比你更厉害了 不是吗
So technically that makes me more powerful than you doesn’t it?
我并没有看出来
I do not see it that way.
现在你寡不敌众 还欠我们一大笔钱
And now you are severely outnumbered and owe us a lot of money
所以还钱 否则
So pay us back. Or else.
你威胁不了我
Your threats do not sway me.
你的话不算数吗?
Does your word mean nothing?
你刚才就这样尿遁了?
Did you just awkward slide me?
尿遁……
awkward slide….
对 他还没出来
Yea, he’s not coming out.
好极了 我们马上发动攻击
Very well. we attack immediately.
马上?不是要等到黎明吗?
Immediately? You don’t want to wait until dawn?
当然不 他们只有12人 而我们有10 000人
Heck no. There’s like 12 of them and 10,000 of us.
在日落前一切都会结束
This will be over before sundown.
(吸气)
(gasp)
(尖叫)
(screaming)
把项链还给我
Give me back my necklace!!
太棒了
Yes!
我只是在想
I was just thinking…
如果这是块被诅咒的金子
If this gold is cursed,
你觉得我们余下的人能抓住那只病龙吗
do you think the rest of us could catch dragon sickness?
我还没想出来
I hadn’t thought about that.
噢 我觉得要发生了
Oh I think it’s happening!!
噢 又发生在我身上了
Oh it’s happening to me too!
离我的金子远点
Get away from my gold!
不 是我的金子
Noooo, it’s my gold!
否则我就发动战争!!!
Then I will have WARRR!!
战争!!!
WAARRRRRR!!!!!
这个楼梯吓坏我了
This floor is freaking me out!
Mithril
Mithril….
无坚不摧
No blade can pierce it.
我给你的礼物
It is a gift.
你知道吗 你为什么不在那场战斗之后给我
You know what? Why don’t you give it to me after the battle?
在战争全程中
You probably need it more than I.
你比我更需要它
Starting a war and all.
噢 对 或许是个好主意
Oh. Yea ok. That’s probably not a bad idea.
Mithril! 太棒了! 哈哈!
Mithril!!! Yes! Haha!!
鹰真的帮了我们解决了我们所遇到的每一个问题
Eagles really do solve every problem we have.
哈哈 我知道 好吧?!
Haha! I know, right?!
并不是任何问题都能解决
Not every problem!!
如果这是爱 我并不想拥有
If this is love, I don’t want it.
噢 宝贝 那不是爱 你才认识他两天啊
Oh, that’s not love, my dear. You barely knew him for like 2 days.
是真爱!
It was real!!
你知道他的姓吗
What was his last name??
呃……
Um…
小矮人?
The dwarf?
Kili小矮人?
Kili the dwarf?
哈哈哈
Hahahahaha
但是讲真 谁拿了我的阿肯宝钻
But seriously, who has my arkenstone?
新的奇珍异宝
A new precious!!
我看见订阅
I saw subscribe
慢慢消失…
fade from the..
哇啊啊啊!莱戈拉斯
Whoaaa! Legolas!!!!
你比我们都强
You’re better than us!
你能跳能打能翻跟头 会刺会射击还会跳!
You can jump and fight and flip and stab and shoot and JUMP!!
莱戈拉斯 莱戈拉斯!!!
Legolas, LEGOLAS!!!
你强于我们
You’re better than us!
你强于我们
YOU’RE BETTER THAN US!!
你消灭了一切阻碍 我们爱这一切
You kill anything that gets in your way and we love it.
哇啊 莱戈拉斯!
Whoa, LEGOLAS!!
非常谢谢您的观看!
Thank you so much for watching this episode!
特别感谢Screen Jynkies把他们的配音员借给我们
And a special thanks this time goes to Screen Junkies for lending us their voice talents.
点击霍尔特人:五军之战会有我们提供的额外动画噢
Go check out their Battle of the Five Armies Honest Trailer for an exclusive scene that we animated.
然后告诉他们 结局该是怎样的!
And tell them, How It Should Have Ended sent ya!
或者点击这里 观看霍比特人三部曲结局系列
Or you can click here to watch our entire Hobbit How It Should Have Ended trilogy.
这就是今天的节目了 一定要订阅哦
That’s all for now! Be sure to subscribe,
点击下面的按钮 给出评论
click on these buttons, leave us a comment,
下期见哦 拜拜!
and we will see you next time!! Bye Bye!
走了!
Be gone!

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZm_Zth0rhw

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