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给《复仇者联盟》换个结尾

How The Avengers Should Have Ended

(音乐)
(music)
Thor: 你想让我放下雷神锤?
Thor: You want me to put the hammer down?
(大爆炸)
(large explosion)
(咳嗽)
(coughing)
美国队长:我们要死在这了吗?
Captain America: Are we done here?
Loki:哈喽!
Loki: Hello!
钢铁侠:你还在这?
Iron Man: You’re still here?
Loki:是的…
Loki: Yes…
Thor:你为什么不跑当我们正在处理我们的
Thor: Why didn’t you run away while we settled our
分歧时?
differences?
Loki:我不会告诉你的! 嗯呃呵呵呵…
Loki: I’ll never tell! Muhuhahaha…
嗯呃呵呵呵…嗯呃呵呵呵…哈哈哈哈哈!
Hmmhmmhmmhmm…Muhuhuhahaha…hahahahaha!
美国队长:好吧,我们不带他回基地.
Captain America: OK, we are not taking him back to base.
他必须得为后果负责!
He is DEFINITELY up to something!
复仇者联盟应该怎么结束
How The Avengers Should Have Ended
美国队长:喔! 哈哈! 我档!
Cap: Whoa! Haha! Shield!
钢铁侠: 先生们. 这边请!
Iron Man: Gentlemen, right this way!
鹰眼:(莫名其妙)
Hawkeye: (unintelligible)
(绿巨人 吼叫)
(Hulk roars)
雷神:雷神锤来了!
Thor: Ha! Here comes the hammer!
黑寡妇:哔儿 哔儿 哔儿!
Black Widow: Pew pew pew!
美国队长:队长球!
Captain America: Captainball!
雷神:–从哪来到哪去吧!
Thor: –from whence you came!
独眼侠:再说一遍! 我打赌你不敢! 你敢!
Nick Fury: Say what again! I dare you! I DOUBLE dare you!
(黑寡妇大叫)
(Black Widow yells)
绿巨人:弱爆了 弱爆了 弱爆了!
Hulk: Puny god, puny god, puny god!
钢铁侠咕哝
(Iron Man grunts)
钢铁侠:坦克导弹!
Iron Man: Tank missile!
(绿巨人喘息)
(Hulk pants)
钢铁侠:嘿,你们吃过沙瓦玛吗?
Iron Man: Hey, you guys ever had shawarma?
(音乐停止)
(music ends)
超人:这个地方供应食物?!
Superman: This place serves food?!
钢铁侠:是的.你们也从来没吃过沙瓦玛?
Iron Man: Yeah. You never had shawarma, either?
绿巨人:沙瓦玛!
Hulk: SHAWARMA!
(狼吞虎咽地吃沙瓦玛)
(hungrily devours shawarma)
美国队长:为什么我必须坐在绿巨人的腿上?
Captain America: Why do I have to sit on Hulk’s lap?
雷神:嗯!再来一个!
Thor: Mmm! Another!
(打碎声)
(smashes)
蝙蝠侠:嘿…我是蝙蝠侠.你想知道我的秘密
Batman: Hey…I’m Batman. You want to know my secret
身份吗?
identity?
黑寡妇:…….为什么?
Black Widow: … why?
超人(清清喉咙):那 你们就是这么度过
Superman (clears throat): So, you guys had quite a
周末的.
weekend.
美国队长:呵 说的真够含蓄的
Captain America: Heh, that’s an understatement.
超人: 首先 你们彼此都跟对方对立过.然后
Superman: First you guys were all against each other, then
你朋友被杀了 所以你们突然成了朋友…
your buddy got killed, so you’re suddenly friends…
绿巨人:噗!有人死了吗?
Hulk: Pffh! Someone die?
钢铁侠:额…是的 你可能错过了那个部分.
Iron Man: Uh…yeah, you kinda missed out on that part.
黑寡妇:但是 万幸你后来还想着跟我们成朋友.
Black Widow: But luckily you still wanted to be friends later.
绿巨人:哦
Hulk: Oh.
蝙蝠侠:好吧 你从天上掉下来 然后正好
Batman: Right, you fell from the sky and conveniently
学会了怎么控制自己的愤怒…
learned to control your rage…
超人:还有 你偷了一辆摩托车?
Superman: And did you steal a motorcycle?
绿巨人:呃. 细节不重要…
Hulk: Um. Details not important…
超人:细节会像欧丁神会把雷神送回
Superman: Details like Odin being able to send Thor back
地球的
to Earth?
雷神:什么?
Thor: What?
蝙蝠侠:或者教授顺便给关闭的大门
Batman: Or the professor conveniently making a way to
开了一条路 给你们这些家伙编的故事挺好.
close the portal? That worked out well for you guys.
超人:或者奇塔瑞人都快死了
Superman: Or the Chitauri all dying “Phantom Menace”
nuke特效后的”幽灵威胁”式的结尾
style after the nuke?
蝙蝠侠:小事一桩在另一件…..之后
Batman: Yep. One convenient thing after another…
美国队长:嗯 有点像你的那条实用的皮带.
Captain America: Hmm, kind of like your utility belt!
(复仇者联盟笑声)
(Avengers laugh)
钢铁侠:你们知道我想什么吗? 我想你们两个就是
Iron Man: You know what I think? I think you two are just
在嫉妒我们把它撞出了公园.
jealous that we knocked it out of the park.
(复仇者联盟不清晰的祝贺声)
(Avengers indistinctly cheering)
鹰眼:抱歉 伙计们…
Hawkeye: Sorry, guys…
蝙蝠侠:我没有嫉妒.我是蝙蝠侠…
Batman: I’m not jealous. I’m Batman…
超人:我想我可能在嫉妒…如果我不 像
Superman: I guess I would be jealous… if I wasn’t, like,
你们聚在一起.如果我不能飞或是射激光
all of you combined. If I couldn’t fly or shoot lasers or
追赶导弹 还有能看很远 粉碎的建筑
catch missiles and see really far, smash buildings and wear
穿红的 还有…
red, and…
(钱不断侵蚀)
(money rustling)
钢铁侠:那是什么? 你正在消失…
Iron Man: What’s that? You’re fading out…
美国队长:喔 我们已经打破太多记录了!
Captain America: Whoa! We’ve broken too many records!
雷神:我们不能在这一大推钱里听清你说话.
Thor: We can’t hear you through all this box office money…
(复仇者联盟笑声)
(Avengers laugh)
(蝙蝠侠叹气声)
(Batman sighs)
绿巨人:沙瓦玛!
Hulk: Shawarma!
(背景音乐播放)
(epic music plays)
鹰眼:Natasha?我脸上有伤吗? 真的
Hawkeye: Natasha? Do I have a mark on my face? It really
很疼…就在这.
hurts…right here.
不是这里…或这多一点 但应该就在这.
Not here…or here so much, but right here.
黑寡妇:不. 船形.
Black Widow: Nope. Ship shape.
美国队长:嘿 时间合适… 哦
Captain America: Hey guys, time to suit up…oh my
我的天哪. 你脸怎么了?
GOSH, what happened to your face?
鹰眼:我知道…
Hawkeye: I knew it…
字幕由Evan Reynolds整理
Captioning by Evan Reynolds

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZkqC4Lz8dU

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