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给《自杀小队》换个结局 – 译学馆
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给《自杀小队》换个结局

How Suicide Squad Should Have Ended

如果超人冲进了白宫…
What if Superman flew into the white house…
然后绑架了总统会怎样?
and kidnapped the president?
谁能阻止他?
Who would’ve stopped him?
超人已经死了
Superman is dead.
但有谁能阻止他!
But who would’ve stopped him!
蝙蝠侠
Batman would!
我们可以呼叫蝙蝠侠
We’d call Batman.
我们为什么要谈论这个
Why are we talking about this?
我想我们可以用坏蛋
I think we should use bad guys!
我已经集结了这样的一只能做些好事的恶棍小队
I’ve assembled a team of misfits that can do some good.
我挟持了他们来帮我做事
I’m holding them hostage to do my bidding.
这听起来很危险啊
That sounds REALLY dangerous.
让我来说明
Let me demonstrate.
堕落女巫
Enchantress.
去吧 孩子
Go get it girl.
*猛地一刺*
*stab*
我的天呐
Oh my Goooosh!
快叫蝙蝠侠!
Someone call Batman!
堕落女巫快得超乎想象
Enchantress is much faster than you know…
她会在背后刺你 女孩
She’ll stab you in the back, girl, that’s for sho
扭扭扭
wiggle wiggle wiggle dance
这是什么?
What’s this?
一个手工艺品?
An artifact?
好精致
It’s so delicate.
我应该保存好它 不能让它被破坏或打碎
I should preserve this so it isn’t ever damaged or broken!
因为我是一个超超超棒的考古学家
Because I’m a GOOD archeologist.
好了
There we go.
WTF
Awe nuts!
我会是最棒的
I wanna be the very best…
蝙蝠侠从来都是!
Batman ever was!
你毁了我们的约会之夜!
You’re ruining date night!
打击罪恶是我真正的考验
To fight crime is my real test
为了正义!
Justice is my cause!
蝙蝠侠go!
Batman Go!
小布丁 我不会游泳!
Puddin, I can’t swim!
我要抓住他们所有人!
Gotta catch’em all!
扑通
splash
朝我开枪 我会揍你
Shoot at me and I’ll punch you!
蝙蝠侠go!
Batman Go!
蝙蝠侠go!
Batman Go!
我建议你们不要被卡塔娜杀了
I would advise not getting killed by, Katana!
她的剑上禁锢着所有被害者的灵魂
Her sword traps the souls of it’s victims.
哇哦 听起来很棒嘛
Oooo! That sound’s exciting!
你觉得我们会亲眼见证吗?
Do you think we’ll get to see that happen?
不会
No.
那你提这事干嘛 老兄
Why did you even bring it up, man?!
我不知道
Idunno.
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!
Ha HA HA HA HA HA!
哈莉!
HARLEY!
来吧 宝贝!
Come on, baby!
杀了她!
Kill her!
没用!她的纳米控制器被卸掉了!
It’s not working! Her nanite’s been disarmed!
那你有什么?一把水枪?
What do you have?! A water pistol?!
是啊!
Oh! Right!
不!
No!

Awe…
*喘息*
*gasp*

Welp…
再见
Bye!
我已经失去了一个家庭
I’ve already lost ONE family…
我不能失去第二个!
I’m not going to lose another!
等等…家庭?
Wait… Family?
是啊 你知道的 家庭
Yeah! You know! Familia?
呃 说家庭有点仓促
Yeah… family seems a bit premature.
我们今天才刚见面 兄弟
We just met TODAY, mate.
是啊 你几小时前才刚刚开始和我们一起战斗!
Yeah. And you like JUST started fighting with us as a team a few hours ago!
还只是因为死亡射手对你大吼
And only because Deadshot yelled at you.
可能…朋友更好?
Maybe… friends?
这个怎么样?
How does that work?
你会为你的新朋友们战斗吗?
Will you fight’em for your brand new friends?
当然 好吧…朋友
Yeah sure! Okay… friends.
这样也行
That will work.
或许泛泛之交?
Maybe acquaintances?
是啊!泛泛之交!
Yeah! Acquaintances!
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!
RaAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
*尖叫*
*screams*
她的心脏被挖出来了!我们可以结束这一切了!
Her heart’s out! We can end this!
嘿 鳄鱼!
Hey, Croc!
嘿 杀手鳄!
Hey crocodile man!
你介意我来扔吗?
You mind if I give it a throw?
我的意思是扔东西是我的事 但是我却还没做任何事
I mean throwing is sort of my thing, and I haven’t really done anything.
你介意吗?
Do you mind?
哇 太棒了 谢了 老兄!
Okay! Sweet! Thanks, mate!
吃我一发炸弹炮!
One Boomerang explosion coming right up!
啊糟了 它回来了
Oh poop, it’s comin back.
当心!
Look Out!
还没那么快!
No so fast!
你怎么还没死!
How are you not dead!?
我在最后一刻被救了……
I was saved at the last min…
好吧 别管了
You know what? Never mind.
现在她死了
Now she’s dead.
有问题吗?
That gonna be a problem?
没有 我很满意
Nope. Actually I’m good.
嘿 怎么回事 旁友们!?
Hey! Que pasa, Homies!?
迪亚布洛!你没死!
Diablo! How are you not dead?!
那只是火 所以…你懂的
Well it was just fire so… you know.
而且大家都活着
Plus everyone else got to live.
所以为什么不呢?对吧?
So why not? Right?
嗯 我可以去再喝一杯了
Huh. Well I could use another drink.
我也是
Me too!
哦我知道个好地方!
Oh I know just the place!
我开了个玩笑…
I started a joke…
他怎么了?
What’s his problem?
但是他们把我剪出了我的电影!
But they cut me out of my movie!
哦 悲伤的故事
Oh… The cutting room blues.
现在我总算明白…
Now I finally see…
玩笑是对我开的
That the joke was on me.
小布丁
Puddin!
我多想念你美妙的歌喉啊!
Oh how I missed your sweet song of a voice!
呃 多谢 我也很想念你
Ugh… thanks…. I missed you too.
如果我们不照她说的做 她就要处死我们
And she was gonna have us executed if we didn’t do what she said.
所以死亡射手在她两眼之间来了一枪
So Deadshot here put one right between her eyes.
所以现在我们自由了!
And now we’re free!
你们太棒了
How wonderful for you.
除了你们忘了故事的一部分
Except you seem to forget one part of that story.
他们在头部仍有爆炸装置这部分?
The part where they still have explosive devices in their heads?
不 你们选择拯救世界这一部分
No. The part where you chose to save the world.
你知道是谁才做这些事吗?
Do you know who does that?
是谁?
Who does that?
英雄
The hero.
是哦 你们这群恶棍怎么会做?
Yes. How are you villains exactly?
我们被关在监狱!
We were in jail!
然后?
And?
所以…这让我们成了坏蛋
So… that makes us the bad guys.
我不是坏蛋
I’m not a bad guy.
我也不是
Yeah me neither!
而我只是太性感了!
And I’m just too sexy!
别恶心我了
I’m not comfortable with this, Palps!
这是渣滓和恶棍的历史性一刻!
This is supposed to be the epic hive for scum and villainy!
关键词是“恶棍”
The key word being “villainy”.
你是个魔法师 对吧?
Oh! You’re the magic bloke, right?
看这里!
Well look here!
魔法!
Magic!
哟呼!
Whoooooo!
呕 让堕落女巫回来吧
Ugh! Bring back Enchantress!
她才是个真正的恶棍!
She was a REAL villain!
你知道谁才是故事里真正的恶棍吗?
You know who was the REAL villain in that story?
谁?你?
Who? You?
不!我几乎就没出现在故事里!你有没有注意看!?
No! I’m barely in that story! Weren’t you paying attention!?
真正的恶棍是沃勒
The REAL villain is Waller.
啊是的!我忘了!那个邪恶的女人!
Oh yes! I forgot! Now that’s and evil woman!
那个恶魔!
The devil!
是的 并且你杀了她
Yes. And you killed her…
在你拯救了世界之后
right after you saved the world.
吹牛!
Bouncer!
哈哈哈哈哈!多简单!
HAHAHAHAHA! Easy!
小布丁!
Puddin!
哈哈哈哈哈!
Hahahahahah!
别把我扔出去!
Oh you did NOT just throw me out!
等你们做点邪恶的事再回来吧!
Come back when you’ve done something EVIL!
好好好
Well well well…
小布丁!你会支持这个吗?
Puddin! Are you gonna stand for this?!
看我们发现了什么!
What do we have here?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wje0SdFWrzU

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