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积极思维如何危及幸福感

How positive thinking is harming your happiness - BBC REEL

Hello, I’m Darren Brown.
大家好 我是达伦·布朗
And I think we could rethink our concepts of happiness.
我认为我们可以重新思考一下幸福的概念
I think we’re sold an idea that
我认为我们被灌输了一种观念
we should be believing in ourselves
即我们应该相信自己
and setting our goals and thinking positively.
设定目标 积极思考
But the reality is that thinking positively can actually have quite a negative effect.
事实是积极思考实际上会产生相当负面的影响
Optimism is an idea that doesn’t serve us very well when things go badly.
事情变糟时 乐观主义不能很好地为我们服务
Seeing bad situations in a positive light and looking for the good.
乐观地看待糟糕情况 寻找好的一面
That’s okay. That goes back to the Stoics.
这是可以的 这要回到斯多葛学派
But when we’re feeling like we failed,
但当我们感到自己失败时
that’s the problem.
这就是问题了
and the problem with optimism is that
乐观主义的问题在于
it just tells us if things don’t go right that we’ve failed,
如果事情不顺 它只是告诉我们 我们失败了
that we haven’t believed in ourselves enough.
我们不够相信自己
And we should blame ourselves because there’s nowhere else to go
我们应该责怪自己 因为除此之外 别无他法
and that’s fundamentally where it’s wrong.
从根本上来说 这是错误的
You need a system that works for you when things aren’t going well.
事情不顺时 你需要一个对你有用的系统
That’s the real test of whether something holds up or not.
那才是对于某件事是否站得住脚的真正检验
There was a psychologist called Daniel Kahneman
心理学家丹尼尔·卡内曼
who came up with this idea of the experiencing self
曾提出体验自我和
and the remembering self,
记忆自我的概念
like two sort of cells at work within us.
就像体内工作的两种细胞
The idea is that,
这个想法是
for example, if you are given a choice between
比如说 你有两个选择
going on our rollercoaster and having a fun afternoon at a theme park
一是坐过山车 在主题公园度过一个愉快的下午
versus looking after a sick relative,
二是照顾一位生病的亲戚
which one is gonna make you happier?
哪一个会让你更快乐呢?
The chances are you’d think what I’ll do I’m gonna go on the theme park.
你可能会想去主题公园
So your experiencing self is being catered to by the experiences of,
所以快乐和兴奋迎合了
you know, happiness and excitement.
你的体验自我
But your remembering self which is the other part of you
但你的记忆自我 即你的另一部分
will look back on the experience looking after your sick relative
会回想起照顾生病亲戚的经历
actually as a more meaningful experience.
那其实是更有意义的经历
So the chances are you will take with you
所以 你很有可能会从中
more of a sense of happiness and satisfaction from doing that.
获得更多的快乐和满足
So we have a terrible understanding of what actually fulfills us.
所以我们对那些真正令人满足的事 有很大误解
I think of an interesting thought experiment which is given by a stoic,
现代斯多葛派学者威廉·欧文
a modern stoic called William Irvin,
设计了一个有趣的思维实验
is imagine that you woke up one day and everybody had disappeared from the world
假设有一天你醒来 世界上所有人都消失了
so there were still buildings and cars and everything,
建筑 汽车之类的都还在
but there were no people, everyone had gone, it’s just you.
但是没有人 都消失了 只剩下你
What changes in terms of
你对自己需求的东西
the sort of things you require for yourself.
会发生怎样的变化
You wouldn’t bother having a big, great big house to go in
你不必再费心买一个大房子
and even barely you could live in anyhouse.
甚至你根本不需要房子了
You could just go and you know walk in and live wherever you like.
你可以随便走进去 想住哪里住哪里
You’d probably find somewhere that’s just comfortable and practical.
你可能会找到舒适又实用的房子
You obviously wouldn’t bother with fancy clothes,
显然你不会花心思穿华丽的衣服
you wouldn’t bother with so many things.
也不会为太多琐事而烦恼
And then, when you’ve really followed that thought through,
然后当你真正按这个想法思考时
it’s amazing how much we acquire and want
令人惊讶的是 有多少我们获得和渴望的东西
only to impress other people
仅仅是为了让别人对我们刮目相看啊
even if we don’t feel without sort of a person.
即使身边只有一个人的时候
So rather than just wanting things that we don’t have
那么与其渴望我们没有的东西
which probably not going to be very good for us anyway,
而这对我们可能也无益
shifting our desires so we want the things that we already have.
不如改变渴望 渴望我们所拥有的
Stoicism was born at a time of strife.
斯多葛学派诞生于战乱时期
There’s lots of war,
战争频发
lots of reasons why you’d want to hang on to a feeling of tranquility.
很多原因可以解释为什么你那么想要安宁
So, what they said which is such phenomenally good advice is
所以他们所说的好的建议是
there are things in your life that you’re in control of,
生活中有些事情是你可以控制的
and there are things in your life you’re not in control of.
有些则不能
The only thing you are in control of,
他们说的对 同时也是事实
they said, and this is true,
你唯一能控制的
are your thoughts and your actions. That’s it.
是你的思维和行动 就是这样
Everything else and what other people do, and what they think of you,
其他事和别人做了什么 别人对你的看法
and what goes on in their lives and
别人生活中发生的事情
how well other people do their jobs or do the things you work,
别人的工作如何 或你的工作进展如何
whatever, everything else you have no control over.
不管什么 你都无法控制
And you can actually decide that everything on that side of the line is fine.
但你可以决定 临界限那边的一切都很好
I find myself doing this a lot
我发现自己经常这样做
when something’s really bothering and frustrating me.
当一些事情令我心烦意乱时
I just think I know which side of the line is it on.
我就在想它在临界限的哪一边
Is it my thoughts and actions or is it something out there?
它是我的想法和行为 还是除此以外的东西?
But it has to be a real thought
但它必须是一个真实的想法
what if it was fine and has to drip in
如果它是好的
and really kind of drip into the soul and make sense.
就必须让它融入你的灵魂 让其有所意义
You have to feel it. It’s no good just saying it.
你必须去感觉 说出来没有用
I was fine, it’s fine. That doesn’t have any effect.
只是说我很好 很好 没有任何效果
It has to be a real thing and it’s a very helpful thought.
它必须是真实的 而且是非常有用的想法

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视频概述

你知道吗?积极思考实际上会产生负面影响?当事情变得糟糕时,我们应该如何正确面对?

听录译者

杨麦丝

翻译译者

Diecisiete

审核员

审核员ZIYU

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr5_wQrW8CM

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