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怎样对待夸夸其谈又固执己见的人 – 译学馆
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怎样对待夸夸其谈又固执己见的人

How Not To Rant

社交生活的风险之一就是我们在某个晚宴的过程中
One of the risks of social life is that we will in the course of an evening
或在某个派对的厨房里被一个过分夸夸其谈固执己见的人困住了
or in the kitchen at a party end up trapped with a person of excessive conviction
或者更通俗地说 是一个令人厌烦的人
or, to put it more colloquially, a bore.
令人厌烦的人可能心存着对各种事情的过分纠结
Bores can be found harbouring any manner of obsessions:
他们可能会对语法问题以及那些
they may be deeply concerned about grammar
越来越多的虚拟误用而深感忧虑
and the ever increasing misuse of the subjunctive
或者 认定是现代建筑使人们之间更加疏远
or believe that modern architecture has alienated us from ourselves;
他们可能会对当代资本主义的掠夺性质大为惊恐
they may be horrified by the predatory nature of contemporary capitalism
或对环保运动的不停抱怨而感到厌恶
or disgusted by the whingeing of the environmental movement;
他们也许仇恨女权主义 或认为厌恶女性随处可见
they might hate feminism or see misogyny in every corner of life.
令人厌烦的人想法并非完全不对
Bores aren’t necessarily wholly misguided,
他们在过程中可能会提出一些极好的观点
they may be making some very good points along the way;
但他们的强烈表达与喋喋不休的方式
but our discomfort in their company arises from the intensity
让在旁的人愈加心生不适
and relentlessness of their manner.
我们十分渴望他们能沉默片刻 或更现实地— 让我们逃离那里
We long that they might fall silent or, more realistically, allow us to run away.
让人厌烦的人 使人生厌的部分原因是
Part of the reason why bores bore is
我们能感觉到他们并未完全诚实的面对我们
that we sense they’re not being entirely honest with us.
毫无疑问 他们内心烦乱 却又不告知真实原因
They are certainly upset, but the real reasons why don’t seem on offer.
在他们解释的过程中 让人感到
We feel –- in the midst of their explanations
他们激动的根源 并不在他们的论述范围之内
that their intensity is drawing heat from a source beyond the argument as they define it.
他们可能会充分强调一系列
They may well be emphasising a range of
刻意地 非针对个人的政治经济或社会因素
studiously impersonal political, economic or social factors,
但直觉告诉我们 那背后一定有其亲身经历的故事
but we intuit that there must be a more personal story
已经把人们与他们有意识的自我 完全拒之门外了
from which we, and their conscious selves, have been carefully shielded.
这是一个普遍事实 与羞辱毫无关系
It’s a general truth, in no way humiliating,
那些人们看似客观成熟的关注点
that our seemingly-objective adult concerns
常常源于 因个人弱点而引发的某些事件
often have their roots in incidents of personal vulnerability
但很久以前被吐露过 如若重新谈论 可能会很尴尬
but unfolded long ago and may be awkward to recover and discuss.
或许因为在我们年幼时 父亲因公司迁址到
Perhaps, when we were young, our father lost his job to a corporation that
东南亚而失去了工作:
relocated their offices to south-east Asia:
补偿虽然丰厚 但那种遗憾对于那个家庭来说却很深
the pay-off was relatively generous but the shame intense for the family.
也可能因为在好几次升职机会面前
Or perhaps we have been passed over for promotion many times
我们都被一个年轻又时尚的管理团队忽视了
by a young and conspicuously fashionable management team
因为这个团队注重于当代设计风格
with an interest in contemporary design.
又或是因为我们曾经非常喜欢的一个女人
Or maybe there was once a woman we liked very much,
她当时是博士在读 研究Julia Kristeva作品中的性别观念
who was doing a PhD in gender studies on the work of Julia Kristeva
她表现出对自己感兴趣 但之后却随一个对手离开了
and who showed signs of interest but then went off with a rival.
这让我们为此伤心了很久
It left us quite upset for a while.
我们可能不愿记住这些事情
We may not like to remember these incidents,
也不愿在派对上对新结识的人讲起这些事
let alone tell new acquaintances about them at parties.
但它们仍然存在于我们的心中
Yet they are still active within us
并且寻找着某种被伪装之后 再表达出来的方式
and seek some way, however disguised, of expressing themselves.
但我们完全清楚的是
But all we know consciously is that
资本主义是有史以来最被妄用的不稳定的经济体系
capitalism is the most abusive and unsustainable economic system ever devised,
我们也清楚 现代建筑可耻地忘记了古典传统的高贵品质
that modern architecture has shamefully forgotten the nobility of the Classical tradition
就像Bramante与Schinkel的建筑作品中所呈现的那种品质
as embodied by the works of Bramante and Schinkel
我们更清楚 女权主义正系统地摧毁着
and that feminists are out to systematically destroy
在发达经济体中男性赚钱能力的基础
the foundations of male earning power in advanced economies.
当遇到如此热情高涨的见解 我们不是想少听些
When we come across such ardent views, it isn’t that we want to hear less,
而是我们理应更愿意多听一些—
it’s rather that we would ideally want to hear more –
有关另外一方面 更倾向于自身的
but in another direction, inwards,
而不是远至社会文化及经济的抽象层面
rather than further into socio-cultural and economic abstractions.
我们想这样做 并非出于好色
And we want to do this not from prurience
而是因为社交生活是被一种接触到他人真实一面的意愿引领着的
but because social life is guided by a wish to encounter the reality of other people –
但在这里却被神秘地拒绝了
which is here being arcanely denied.
我们的厌烦是一个基础 是感觉到别人在向自己隐瞒在生活中受过的创伤时
Our boredom is a base, an impatient resentment at being held at bay
产生的一种焦躁的怨恨
from the genuine traumas of another’s life.
令人厌烦的人从来都不只是他人
The bore is never just other people.
而在一些特定的方面 一直也是我们自己
It is – in given areas – also always us.
当我们做一个理智想法的心理测试
When we take a psychological audit of our intellectual ideas,
我们都很有可能发现 我们对某些事的担忧程度
we all stand to discover that some of our concerns owe their intensity
归结于那些难以界定并且畏于承担责任的个人经历
to personal experiences which are hard to define and frightening to own up to.
这使我们警觉了今后如果面对那些过分激情洋溢的演讲该如何回应
This alerts us to how we might in the future respond to the speeches of the over-zealous.
这个任务并不是要正面迎合明显有利害冲突的事物
The task isn’t to engage head on with the matter apparently at stake,
而是从公开针对目标尽量温和地转移到它的根源
it’s to gently try to shift the conversation away from its official target to its origins;
同情地问问这个问题第一次出现是什么时候
sympathetically asking when the issue first emerged
以及 也许有什么跟它相关的更个人的联系
and what more personal associations might surround it.
即使我们永远都得不到答案 但对问题结构的认知
Even if we never get there, the knowledge of the structure of the problem
应该会使我们小心 不与过分坚持的人
should make us careful not to engage people of excessive conviction
在太多会持续很久的争论中正面交锋
in too many prolonged head-to-head arguments.
试图辩论为什么资本主义并非历史上最糟糕的体系产物
There is no point trying to list why capitalism is not the worst system ever devised,
为什么现代建筑有它的可取之处 以及为什么女权主义仍然是必要的 都是毫无意义的
why modern architecture has its high-points and why feminism remains necessary.
这意味着相信对方的愤怒是某种思想上的错误
This would be to believe that the other’s rage was a kind of intellectual error
这种错误可以在一两个机智想法的帮助下 被神奇地转变过来
that could be magically resolved with the help of one or two deft ideas.
一个善良的健谈者 更加富有同情心地带有悲观主义
The kind conversationalist is more compassionately pessimistic.
他们认可我们的某种坚持
They accept that the roots of certain of our convictions
根深蒂固地与心理的恐惧和焦虑部分交织在一起
lie deeply tangled in frightened, anxious parts of the psyche
只有通过心理治疗才有可能被触及
unlikely to be accessible outside psychotherapy.
我们极为清楚 如果我们对待人们犹如他们并不是自己认为的那样有自我意识
We’re so aware that it could sound patronising to treat people
那会听上去显得高人一等
as less self-aware than they believe themselves to be,
但是我们忽略了 要把被否认的个人创伤在我们充满激情的夸夸其谈中所起的
but we overlook that it may sometimes be also the height of generosity to keep in mind
复杂作用铭记于心 有时也需要做到一种宽宏大量才可以的
the complicated role that denied personal wounds play in our ardent convictions.
而且我们应该希望 当下一次我们发现
And we should hope that others will repay us the favour
自己正在长篇大论而且更加激烈地大谈特谈 有关拒绝握手
the next time we find ourselves delivering long and ever more intense speeches
厄瓜多尔的殖民地化 或英语语言的堕落时
about the decline in handshaking, the colonisation of Ecuador
人们会以同样的方式报答我们
or the corruption of the English language.
你知道吗?生命学院其实是一所学校
Did you know that The School Of Life is actually a place?
实际上在世界各地有十所校园 从墨尔本到伦敦
Ten places in fact, campus’ all over the world from Melboure to London,
台北到伊斯坦布尔 有课程有书籍以及更多
Taipei to Istanbul with classes and books and lots more.
请点击下方的链接查看更多信息
Please click on the link below to explore more.

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视频概述

你是一个夸夸其谈又固执己见的人吗?或在某一时刻会是这样的人?

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Hyperlil

审核员

赖皮

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaDPUqL1x4E

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