当我们去到外面的世界并同他人打交道时
One of our great fears, which haunts us when we go out into the world
萦绕在心的最大的恐惧之一是
and socialize with others
我们也许打心底里认为自己是真的很无趣
is that we may in our hearts be really rather boring.
但是有一个好消息而且这也是一个基本的事实
But the good news and a fundamental truth too,
即没有人是真的永远无趣的
is that no one is ever truly boring.
他们只是遇到了下面这些问题
They’re only in danger of coming across as such
也许是搞不懂自己内心深处到底在想什么
when they either fail to understand their deeper selves
也许是不敢或不知道怎样将自己的想法传达给他人
or don’t dare or know how to communicate them to others.
简单来说从来没有一个生来就无趣的人或事物
That there is simply no such thing as an inherently boring person or thing
这是艺术教给人们的最重要课程之一
is one of the great lessons of art.
许多最受人们喜爱的艺术品并不描绘夸张的或稀有的东西
Many of the most satisfying artworks don’t feature exulted or rare elements.
它们展现平常的事物 从一个独特的视角
They are about the ordinary,looked at in a special way
用无比真诚和开放的心态去展示质朴的体验
with unusual sincerity and openness to unvarnished experience.
比如这些草
Take for example some grasses
这是丹麦画家Christian Købke的作品
painted by the danish artist Christian Købke
1833年画于哥本哈根的郊区
in the suburb of copenhagen in 1833.
这些景色看起来无比寻常
Outwardly the scene is utterly unremarkable
乍看之下实在不是绘画的好素材
and could initially appear to be deeply unpromising material for a painting
然而 像其他任何伟大的艺术家一样
and yet, like any great artist,
Købke知道怎样处理自己对于这些景色的认知
Købke has known how to interrogate his own perceptions
以一种清新明朗的 非写实的方式
in a fresh unclouded, underivative manner
精准地将其转化成笔下的画作
and translated them accurately into his medium,
造就一副小小的佳作 而又超脱于日复一日的平常生活
weaving a small masterpiece out of the thread of everyday life.
就好像世界上没有
And just as there’s no such thing as a
平淡乏味的河堤 树木以及蒲公英
boring riverbank, tree or dandelion, so too
同样 也没有天生无聊的人
there can be no such thing as an inherently boring person.
事实证明 人和动物遵循本心
The human-animal witnessed in its essence
诚实不伪饰 通常是有趣的
with honesty and without artifice is always interesting.
当我们说一个人无趣
When we call a person boring,
我们只是在说他没有勇气
we’re just pointing to someone who’s not had the courage
或者不能专心地告诉我们他是个什么样的人
or concentration to tell us what it’s like to be them.
相对的 我们总能证明自己是吸引人的
By contrast, we invariably prove compelling
只要我们能成功地说出
when we succeed in saying
自己真正的欲望 嫉妒 悔恨 忧伤和梦想
how and what we truly desire, envy, regret mourn and dream.
任何人只要忠实地还原事物的本来面目
Anyone who faithfully recuperates the real data on what it’s like to exist,
他就不愁没有东西可以吸引其他人
is guaranteed to have material with which to captivate others.
有趣的人
The interesting person
并不是那些能从外表上直接展现有趣的东西的人
isn’t someone to whom obviously and outwardly interesting things have happened:
也不是那些 环游了世界 会见了权贵
someone who’s traveled the world, met important dignitaries
或者出席了大型地理政治学会议的人
or been present at large geopolitical events.
更不是那些用专业术语
Nor is it someone who speaks in learned terms
谈论文化 历史或科技方面重大课题的人
about the weighty themes of culture, history or science.
而是那些专注地倾听内心的声音的人
There’s someone who’s grown into an attentive, self-aware listener
他们是可靠的 诚实的反馈者
and a reliable, honest correspondent
反馈自己大脑和心灵的颤动
of the tremors of their own mind and heart
从而作为我们忠实的向导
and who can thereby give us faithful accounts
告诉我们生活的痛苦 戏剧性和奇异所在
the pathos, drama and strangeness of being alive.
那么有哪些因素
What then are some of the elements
阻碍了我们变成
that get in the way of us being as interesting
我们本来能成为的有趣的人的呢？
as we in fact are?
首先且最重要的一点 我们使人厌烦当我们无法相信
Firstly and most crucially, we bore when we lose faith
自己的真情实感
that it really could be our feelings
才是最吸引别人的
that would stand the best chance of interesting others.
出于谦虚和习惯
Out of modesty and habit
我们把一些自己最有趣的见解放到一边
we push some of our most interesting perceptions to one side,
只为了遵循高尚却死板的惯例 这很难给人留下印象
in order to follow respectable but dead conventions of what might impress.
当我们说有趣的事 我们把重点放在外在的细节上
When we tell anecdotes we throw the emphasis on the outward details:
当时都有谁在 什么时候去的 天气怎么样
who was there, when we went, what the temperature was like
而不是勇敢地坚持表达自己
rather than maintaining our nerve
在这些事情下的深层次感受
to report on the layer of feelings beneath the facts.
例如当我们觉得内疚 突然被吸引
The moment of guilt, the sudden sexual attraction,
被羞辱而生气
the humiliating sulk,
事业危机 凌晨三点异常兴奋
the carreer crisis, the strange euforia at 3 a.m.
我们不理会自己的内在感受并不仅仅是因为疏忽
Our neglect of our native feelings isn’t just an oversight,
这可能是一种刻意为之的策略 以使我们的心远离那些
it can be a deliberate strategy to keep our minds away
威胁到我们关于尊严和正常的想法的认知
from realizations that threaten our ideas of dignity and normality.
我们喋喋不休对着外界说一些无关紧要的事
We babble inconsequentially to the world
因为我们缺乏胆量
because we lack the nerve
更紧密执着地置身其中
to look more closely and unflinchingly within.
值得一提的是 大多数五岁的孩子通常比
It feels significant that most five-year-olds are far less boring
大部分45岁的人有趣得多
than most 45-year-olds.
使得这些小孩有吸引力的
What makes these children gripping
不全是因为他们有比其他人更多的有趣的感情
is not so much that they have more interesting feelings than anyone else,
恰恰相反
far from it,
是因为他们毫无保留的表达出这些感情
but that they are especially uncensored correspondents of these feelings.
他们未经世事
Their inexperience of the world
意味着他们能够本能的忠诚于自我
means they are still instinctively loyal to themselves
所以他们会坦诚地告诉我们对于
and so they will candidly tell us what they really think
外婆和弟弟的真实想法
about Granny and their little brother,
他们对于改变世界有什么想法
what their plans for reforming the planet are
还有他们认为每个人都应该陪自己玩耍
and what they believe everyone should do with their boogies.
我们的无趣并非天性 主要是受社会意识影响
We are rendered boring not by nature so much as by a fateful will
它从青春期开始邪恶地支配我们以使我们符合常规
that begins its malevolent reign over us in adolescence to appear normal.
然而 即使我们诚实地面对自己的感觉
Yet, even when we’re honest about our feelings
我们仍可能使人觉得无趣 因为我们并未真的理解那些感受
we may still prove boring because we don’t know them as well as we should,
所以我们被卡在情绪表达的层面上
and so we get stuck at the level of insisting on an emotion
而不是解释它
rather than explaining it.
我们可能会更加强调
We’ll assert with ever greater emphasis
场景极其令人激动 害怕或迷人
that a situation was extremely exciting, or awful, or beautiful,
但是这并不能告知身边的人
but not be able to provide those around us
任何相关的细节和例子
with any of the sort of related details and examples
来帮助他们真正的理解整个事情
that would help them viscerally understand why.
我们是可以不无趣的
We can end up boring,
并非我们不想分享自己的生活
not so much because we don’t want to share our lives,
而是因为我们仍不够了解它而无从分享
as because we don’t yet know them well enough to do so.
幸运的是 有趣的天赋
Fortunately, the gift of being interesting
并非某个人独有的也不需要天赋异禀
is neither exclusive nor reliant on exceptional talent.
它只需要对的方向 诚实以及专注
It requires only direction, honesty and focus.
那些我们称为有趣的人 实质上
The person we call interesting is in essence
是那些知晓人们深切渴望从社交中得到什么东西的人
someone alive to what we all deeply want from social intercourse,
人们渴望不带审视地看看
which is an uncensored glimpse
那被称之为生活的短暂而梦幻的经历
of what the brief waking dream called life
透过别人的视角是什么样的
looks like through the eyes of another person,
并再次确认我们并不是与世隔绝的孤岛
and reassurance we are not entirely alone
即使有所有那些最使人混乱的
with all that feels most bewildering,
最特殊的和最深刻的情感
peculiar and intense within us.