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如何达到心智成熟 – 译学馆
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如何达到心智成熟

How Can We Grow Emotionally?

我们都知道
We know well enough
我们先天拥有躯体成长的动力
that we are equipped with an innate drive for physical growth,
它让人类躯体得以成长为
that the human animal is geared to keep developing
成年人的形态
towards its outward mature form,
躯体的自然成长
adding muscle and bone and fatty tissue
从我们在子宫里时就开始了
in a spontaneous process of development
体现在肌肉 骨骼 脂肪组织的增长
that begins in our earliest days in the womb
大约在我们16岁时停止
and ends around our 16th year.
不太明显的是我们心智成熟的动力
What is less obvious is that we are marked
同样是先天和强有力的
by an equally innate, equally powerful,
但这股动力是终身的
although here lifelong drive towards emotional growth.
除非我们受内部或外部的困难所阻碍
Without anything mystical being meant by this,
否则没有任何神秘力量能阻碍其发展
unless we are impeded by internal or external obstacles,
我们注定会走向心智成熟
we are set on an ineluctable path towards emotional development.
躯体和心智成熟的两股动力有一个明显的区别
An obvious conceptual difference between the two drives is
即我们很容易就能知道
that we can know easily enough
身体达到完全成熟是什么样子
what it means to be fully grown physically,
但是我们很难去确定
but it’s rather harder to pin down
什么是与其相对应的心智成熟
what equivalent emotional maturity might look like.
我们的答案有两方面
We can has a two-fold answer.
情感动力由两个部分组成
Our emotional drive is made up of two strands.
第一是对更优质和更深度的人际关系的渴望
The first is a will towards ever greater and deeper connection.
第二部分则由一种对
The second comprises a will
更高质量和更深入的自我表达的渴望
towards ever greater and deeper self-expression.
首先讨论人际关系
To consider connection first,
我们人类有一种强烈的愿望
we are marked by an intense wish
去远离孤独感 羞耻感 孤立感
to move away from loneliness, shame and isolation
去寻找被人理解 真诚相待和与人交流的机会
and to find opportunities for understanding, sincerity and communion.
我们渴望能和朋友 情人和新朋友
We long to share with friends, lovers and new acquaintances
分享我们自己真实的一面
an authentic picture of what it means to be us,
同时
and at the same time,
能深入体会他们的感受和经历
to enter deeply into their feelings and experiences,
我们称之为爱的东西只不过是
what we call love is
一部分渴望与人联结的动力
merely a subsection of the drive to connect,
它由一系列的活动和各类关系引发
which extends across a range of activities and types of relationship,
并发展为对拥抱
stretching to encompass the body
以及亲密接触和性行为的渴望
and our desire for physical intimacy, touch and sexual play.
很大程度上 与人联结的频率越高
We can count ourselves as emotionally healthy in large measure,
自己的心理就越健康
according to what degree of connection we have in our lives.
对于自我表达的驱动力来说
By the drive to self-expression,
我们通常指的是一种渴望 渴望被理解
we mean the desire to fathom, bring into focus and externalize
成为焦点 表达想法 拥有创造力和智力能力
our ideas and creative and intellectual capacities.
尤其是在我们工作和进行审美活动时
A drive that manifests itself particularly
一种表现自我的驱动力
around our work and our aesthetic activities.
我们力图别人能更理解
We seek to gain an ever greater understanding
自己的内心世界
of the contents of our minds,
尤其是我们的价值观 开心事
especially of our values, our pleasures
以及看待世界的方式
and our way of seeing the world.
我们能够表达自己
And to be able to give these,
让大家了解自己
a kind of expression that makes them public,
并且理解自己的利他行为
comprehensible and beneficial to others,
我们会感觉人间如此值得
we will feel that we’ve had a rich life.
无论何时我们能对身边的大部分事情
Whenever we’ve been able to give a voice in shape
表达自己的观点时
to some of the many perceptions that course through us,
从某种方式来说 不论怎样 或多或少
and in some way, however, modestly,
我们已经在这个世界留下了深刻的印记
left a fruitful imprint on the world.
心智成熟的这两股动力
These two aspects of the drive for emotional growth
帮助我们度过一些
help us to get a handle on some of
最艰难的悲伤时刻
our most acute moments of unhappiness.
因为渴望与人接触是与生俱来并至关重要的
It’s because of the primordial importance of the drive to connect
所以当一段友谊破碎时
that it hurts so much when a friendship is broken off,
当一段建立中的关系开始缺乏身体接触时
when an established relationship starts to lack physical contact,
或者在一座新的城市里
or when we can’t find anyone
我们没有说的上话的朋友时 我们会伤心
we see eye to eye within a new city.
因为我们倾诉的欲望太过强烈
And it’s because of how powerful the drive to self-expression is
所以我们如此难过
that we suffer so much
当我们无心学习时
when our studies fail to engage our minds,
当我们对工作失去兴趣时
when a job ceases to reflect our interests,
或当某个周日晚上
or when on a Sunday evening,
我们感到十分困惑
we feel in a confused way
我们的才能没法发挥出来
that our talents are going to waste,
这股动力能够解释
just as the same drive can explain
当我们听到一个朋友
the intensity of the envy we’ll feel,
在我们渴望的领域里成功的消息时
when we hear of a friend’s success
自己会感到十分嫉妒
in an area that we aspire to.
我们把人性的这方面称为动力
Calling this aspect of human nature a drive
并且将其等同于有助于躯体成熟的动力
and equating it with that towards physical maturity
再次强调这本质上是不可协商的人类天性
emphasizes it’s essentially non-negotiable nature
因此它驾驭着我们
and hence its power over us.
试图去阻止一个人的心智成长
It is as misguided, painful and nonsensical
就像绑住别人的脚一样
to try to stop someone growing emotionally
是误导性的 它让人感到痛苦 没有任何意义
as it is to bind their feet.
这股动力让我们放弃其他更实际的选择
The drive takes precedence over all manner of more convenient options,
对社会地位和金钱
the longing for respectability or
或稳定生活的渴望
money or stability.
除非这股动力得到满足 否则它会困扰着我们
It won’t leave us alone until it’s been heard.
从多个角度来说 维持婚姻更轻松
It might make us leave a marriage that would
我们也宁愿选择离婚
from many perspectives
而不是维持婚姻
have been so much easier to remain in
或者让我们为了从事
or to throw in a job that was hugely convenient financially
一份响应内心召唤的工作
in order to take up another
辞去一份收入可观的工作
that more properly answers the call of our deep selves.
如果我们忽视心智成熟的动力
If the drive to emotional growth continues to be unattended
甚至说没意识到它的存在
and perhaps even unknown to us,
生活会让我们不得不停下来
it can short-circuit our whole lives
倾听自己的内心
in a bid to be heard.
如果这股动力厌倦了等待
Fed up with waiting,
它会让我们陷入持续抑郁的状态
it may simply throw us into a paralyzing depression
或者把我们锁进一种极度焦虑的状态
or lock us into a state of overwhelming anxiety.
这股阻挠性的力量
By breaking us in these ways,
通过这些方式打击我们
the frustrated drive is trying to be
试图让我们去理解和接纳它
interpreted and accommodated.
这股动力缺少倾诉和关注
What it lacks an eloquence and focus,
它是那么的顽强
it makes up for persistence and strength.
每次精神崩溃都是一个迂回的尝试
A breakdown is a roundabout attempt
成为改变自己的契机
to create opportunities for a breakthrough.
这就是心智成熟的一个新阶段
That is a new stage of emotional growth.
通过更清晰的了解
By understanding more clearly how basic and important
这股心智成熟的动力有多重要
the drive to emotional growth can be,
我们也许能更好的认识到
we may come to better recognize
情绪沮丧的症状和有所渴望的缘由
the symptoms of its frustrations and logic of our longings.
当我们沮丧时 另一方面
And at points when we upset, the otherwise,
生活以它自己的名义稳定前行
steady course of our lives in its name,
我们可以准备去向自己
we can be ready to explain to ourselves
和那些关心我们的人解释
and those who care for us
也许在令人费解的行为后
what might be behind our puzzling behavior.
我们还未永远失去理智
We haven’t forever lost our minds.
我们意识到要承担责任和社会中的角色
We recognize the role of respectability and status.
愿意成为好相处 不苛刻的人
We would love to be less difficult and demanding.
因此我们要同时注重这个
It’s just that we have to honor another,
比我们躯体成长更重要的力量
even more vital side to our nature.
我们会受内心的驱使
We are under an inner imperative
继续走在通往心智成熟的路上
to continue on our path towards emotional growth.
想了解更多自我认知的信息
To learn more about self-knowledge,
点击屏幕上方的链接
follow the link on your screen now
帮助于你更好的了解自己
to help you better understand yourself.
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If you enjoyed our film,
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please subscribe to our channel and
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视频概述

身体的成熟容易判断,但心智的成熟该如何界定?我们不可忽视心智成熟,它和我们的躯体成熟同样重要。

听录译者

徘徊的小孩

翻译译者

别滋米

审核员

审核员HL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvrCG5ePcME

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