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在经历孩子自杀后,这种药帮助他度过难关 – 译学馆
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在经历孩子自杀后,这种药帮助他度过难关

How A Drug Helps Me Cope With My Kids' Suicides

我以前遭受着创伤后压力心理障碍症
-I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder,
忧郁症和悲痛
depression and grief.
我的状态迅速地下滑
I was going downhill fast.
氯胺酮过去常被用作转换情绪
– Ketamine’s used as a transformer of moods,
它在90年代后期才被发现
only discovered in the late 90’s.
人们非常怀疑 它是种麻醉剂
People were very incredulous, it’s an anesthetic,
如何对情绪产生影响呢?
how could it have anything to do with mood?
当人注射这种药物时
– What is actually happening in the brain
大脑里到底发生了什么?
when a person takes this drug?
注射之前我总是有点紧张
– I’m always a little nervous before the injection
因为我知道自己无法控制
’cause I know I have no control over
接下来大脑里思考的事情
what my mind is going to think about.
我所应对的创伤是难以想象的
The trauma that I’m dealing with, basically unthinkable
我失去了我的两个孩子 他们都死于自杀
but I’ve lost both of my children to suicide.
我的小儿子Dylan 知道自己的生命很重要
My youngest son, Dylan, knew that his life mattered,
他很重要 他也可以表达
that he mattered, that he had a voice
不幸的是 他冲动的性格
and unfortunately, his impulsive nature,
使得他心情低落 开枪结束了自己的生命
caused him to go in and shoot himself and end his life.
当我发现他时 我失控地大叫
When I found him, I screamed uncontrollably.
人间悲剧 不应该有人看见
What I saw, nobody should see.
我跑出了房子然后又跑了进去
I ran out of the house and then ran back in
想确认他是不是真的死了
to make sure he wasn’t still alive
虽然根据我所看到的情况
even though that’s physically impossible based
他不可能还活着
on what I looked at.
我立刻请了一位心理伤痛顾问
I hired a grief counselor immediately,
我雇佣了能找到的最好的创伤后压力心理障碍症顾问
I hired the best post traumatic stress disorder counselor
终于将自己从悲痛中拉出来
I could find and I did pull myself out of it,
我重新开始生活 我还有个大儿子
I did reengage and I had an older son
他仍旧和他妈妈一起生活 我很担心他
who still lived with his mum and I worried about him
因为他没有去看心理顾问 他把事情都放在心里
’cause he didn’t go to counseling and he held things in,
从不分享 但是他却一直说自己状态很好
he didn’t share but he kept saying he was fine.
我们打算去看埃德蒙顿油人队的决赛
We were about to go to the Edmonton Oilers playoff game
和我的父亲及妹妹 因为我真的希望
with my dad and my sister because I really believed
能够重建和睦家庭
in trying to united the family, start having us
再一次开始我们的生活 这是我对他们的责任
live our lives again, that was my obligation to others,
对朋友 家庭和我儿子的责任
friends and family and my son.
很明显我儿子抑郁了 但是他不承认
My son was clearly depressed but he denied it.
那天他本应回去看他妈妈
And the day before he was supposed to go back
去之前他边骑自行车边给我打了个电话
to see his mother, he called me on a bike ride to tell me
他告诉我他很爱我 我知道事情不妙
that he loved me and I knew something was wrong.
当他问我打算待多久时
When he asked me how long I was
这使我想起我另一个儿子
gonna be, it reminded me of my other
他也问过我同样的问题
son when he asked me the same question.
大概一年前的今天 当我回到家
When I got home a year ago about today,
我发现我另一个儿子死于枪击
I found my other son dead of a gunshot wound.
不用说 我崩溃了
Needless to say, I fell apart.
除了寻找精神领袖
Brought in spiritual leaders,
我还找了些其他的顾问
I brought in other counselors.
人们提出的任何能够帮助我的意见
Any ideas that people had that could help me
都让我抓住了一线生机
get a grip on my life
因为在事发后的前四个月
bcause for the first four months,
我不在乎自己是否活着
I didn’t care if I was alive,
也不在乎是不是死了
I didn’t care if I died.
我不关心任何事 没有任何希望
I didn’t think it mattered, I had no hope.
没有任何打算
I had no purpose.
失去了我的孩子我整个人都空了
It was empty without my kids.
柔和的音乐
(gentle music)
我第一次去了一些悲痛康复中心
I first went to some grief recovery centers,
还去了一家脑部扫描诊所
I went to a brain scanning clinic.
还和一位EMDR专家签了治疗协议
I signed up with an EMDR specialist.
我非常沮丧地试图从悲痛中逃离
I was severely depressed trying to get out of it
在使用氯胺酮之前我试图
and I wanted to try to make some progress
通过自己让状态有所改善
on my own before I came to do the
我想熬过圣诞节
ketamine and I wanted to get through Christmas.
失去了一个儿子 我知道最糟糕的日子
Having had lost one son and knowing
就是圣诞节了 不是他的生日
the worst date is Christmas, not the birthday,
也不是他的祭日
not the anniversary date of death,
如果你在圣诞节失去了一个孩子 这天就是最糟糕的日子
Christmas is the worst date if you’ve lost a child.
我知道圣诞节又要来了
I knew I had that coming
我不想过圣诞节
and I didn’t wanna be doing this
或者过圣诞的时候又想起悲痛的事
or have just done it and then get whacked again
所以我知道要熬过圣诞节
so I knew to get through Christmas.
如我我能够度过圣诞节和一月初
If I could get through Christmas, early January,
我飞回洛杉矶
I’m flying back into L.A., and I’m gonna come
打算花两周时间来做这个治疗
and spend two weeks and do this treatment.
在这里我成功熬过了圣诞节
And I got through Christmas and I made it here.
它被称作特别的K 一种迷幻药
– It’s known as special K, a psychedelic drug
在夜店中十分普遍 但是医生说正是同一种药
popular in dance clubs butdoctors say the same drug, ketamine,
氯胺酮还被用作动物镇静剂和麻醉剂
approved as animal tranquilizer and anesthetic
当被用来治疗严重抑郁时也可以成为拯救生命的药物
can also be a lifesaver when used to treat severe depression
尤其是其他方法不奏效时
when nothing else works.
一项小研究表明氯胺酮能迅速
One small study found ketamine decreased suicidal
降低50%的患者的自杀欲望
thoughts almost immediately in 50% of patients.
大多数抗抑郁药需要几周才发挥效力
Most anti-depressants take weeks.
Tom来见我们时情况很糟
– Tom was pretty troubled when he came to us.
他完全不能疏导自己的情绪
He was not dealing at all well.
那件事Tom真的很自责
Tom really was blaming himself a lot for that
一直饱受愧疚和懊悔的折磨
and was suffering a great deal of guilt and remorse,
他真的不确定自己是不是还想活下去
pretty unsure about whether he wanted to continue living.
第一次注射他十分痛苦和犹疑
He had a very rough and contentious first infusion.
而他第二次注射当天
By the day after his second infusion,
他对此治疗赞不绝口
he was really just singing the praises of the treatment.
人们发现氯胺酮是一种非常有效的麻醉剂
Ketamine was found to be a profoundly
常制成药片和药丸来服用
effective anesthetic given as a lump or bolus.
只有当人们以缓慢的方式
It was only when people began to give it
和低于麻醉的剂量来摄取它时
in a very gradual way and in sub-anesthetic doses
我们才发现它是种令人惊奇的情绪改良剂
that we realized what an amazing mood elevator
以及自杀行为的抑制器
and reverser of suicidality it is.
它引起了一系列连锁反应 事实上
It starts a chain reaction, it actually
它在大脑中构建出新的连接
caused new growth in connections in the brain and
并且增加了这些连接的受体密度
in receptor density among those connections.
注射氯胺酮的患者
That patient, who has an infusion, experiences
体验了一种游离的状态 而不是真的出现了幻觉
a dissociative state, does not have true hallucinations.
他可能看见不存在的东西
He may see things that aren’t there but he knows
但是他知道这些东西不存在
that they’re not there.
这种形神分离是十分柔和的
Dissociation can be very mild, like when you’re waiting
就像在杂货店等着付款时
to pay at the grocery store and you’re thinking
你正在想今天晚上要做什么
about what you’re gonna do tonight,
你的思维和肉体稍稍分离了
your mind and body are sort of separate.
许多患者告诉我们
A lot of patients tell us
他们在进行注射时
that they’re able to do really important internal work
内心还能够处理一些十分重要的事情
while they’re having an infusion.
拥有对自己生命的客观态度
It can be really therapeutic for them to
对于他们来说是极有益健康的
have a really objective perspective on their life
这就是Mandel医生所谈论的精神游离
and this dissociation that Dr. Mandel was talking about,
当然 氯胺酮很重要
of course, it’s very important, we’re big advocates
我们是谈心疗法的支持者 对于患者
of talk therapy and for them to work
氯胺酮的使用还要在专家的指导下才能发挥作用
through some of these things with a professional.
这只是种疗法 并不能治愈
– It’s a treatment, it’s not a cure.
它也不是单独发挥作用
It will not stand alone.
对于我来说 注射之前我总是有点紧张
– For me, I’m always a little nervous
因为我知道自己无法控制
before the injection’cause I know I have no control
脑子里将会思考的事
over what my mind is going to think about.
它能让人从十分愉悦走向十分害怕
It can go from very pleasant to very scary.
我知道最终我会感觉好些
I know at the end, I’m going to feel better.
我想说这是一种脱离躯体的体验
I’m gonna say it’s an out of body experience.
能够看着自己我感觉很开心
I’m present watching myself but it’s not
但是这却不是在我所能解释的维度里
in a dimension that I can explain.
事实上他们让我明白我很重要
They actually let me know that I matter,
我也足够好
that I am good enough.
他们给了我与内心交谈的工具
They gave me tools to discuss with my conventional psychologist.
FDA已经认证氯胺酮作为一种麻醉剂 但还没有认证其作为抑郁症的治疗剂
(gentle music)
它在缓解抑郁症某些症状上 有着令人印象深刻的效果
但是长期使用的副作用仍然未知
失去孩子我有片刻的感情痛苦
I had moments of emotional pain from my loss
这使我能够理解为什么有些人想要结束自己的生命
that I understood why somebody would wanna take their life.
无论什么原因 有些事改变了我
For whatever reason, something changed in me
使我从不在意是否还活着
that made me go from I don’t care if I live
现在变得珍惜生命 就因为接受了这些治疗
to I don’t wanna die and now, because of these treatments,
现在我能够站出来并且分享我的故事
I can now go and share
让人们知道
my story and let people know
生命值得继续
that life is worth living.
无论境况多糟糕多痛苦
That as bad as it gets, as painful it gets,
我们还有选择
we do have a choice and we have freedom
我们还能够自由地做出选择
to make that choice.
但是我能站出来并且可能帮助到其他人
But I can go out and helpother people possibly
不论成功与否 这都不重要
and whether I’m successful or not doesn’t matter,
至少我正尝试那样做
I’m at least gonna try to do that.
我想要回馈这家诊所给予我的一切
I’m gonna try to give back what this clinic’s given me.
我的生命
My life.
虽然Tom不知道氯胺酮能否帮助他从儿子的自杀中走出来
但他确定该治疗对于他的康复尤为重要 并且每六周继续接受治疗
如果你正想着自杀或者需要和人倾诉 你可以拨打以下电话
国家防自杀生命热线 1-800-273-TAKE(8255)
或者给紧急邮箱HOME发邮件 地址是741741
你也可以在以上网站中寻找美国境外的防自杀帮助组织
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视频概述

用作麻醉剂的氯胺酮能够帮助抑郁症患者改善情绪,一名亲历双子自杀的患者与大家分享了他在医疗人员的帮助下使用氯胺酮重获生存希望的故事。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

WXSNC001

审核员

审核员 GK

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rux4d-32fUQ

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