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何为心灵伴侣? – 译学馆
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何为心灵伴侣?

Have you met your soul mate? | Ashley Clift-Jennings | TEDxUniversityofNevada

Well, hello.
大家好啊
So I’m going to start with just asking you guys a really simple question
我先问大家一个非常简单的问题
that may take a little bit longer than two seconds to answer.
只需要花两秒多一点儿的时间来回答
Have you ever personally met your soul mate?
你们在现实中有没有遇到过心灵伴侣?
(Audience) Yes.
观众:有
(Ashley Clift-Jennings) I hear some yeses,
我听到有人说有
not reallys…
有人说算不上 [笑]
Yeah, they’re pretty hard to come by, right?
没错 他们很难遇到 是不是?
So now, think about what made that person your soul mate.
现在想一下 是什么让那个人成为你们的心灵伴侣?
Was it the way they looked?
是他们的长相吗?
Was it the career that they had?
还是他们的职业?
Was it the way they connected with your soul?
亦或是他们与你们心灵相通?
Was it the fact they were also in the same religion?
或者是他们与你们信同一个宗教?
There is a million different reasons, right?
是不是有几百万种理由来解释
Why we feel connected to another person in that deep way.
我们为什么会感觉与另一个人有那种强烈的关联感
So, I grew up in a Christian environment,
我们家是信仰基督教的
and I was dead-set on finding my soul mate.
并且我是铁了心要找到心灵伴侣的
So, I knew I wasn’t going to find this person
所以 我知道我不会在酒吧里
in a bar, or at a club,
或在夜店里找到那个他
and that this person had to have really high character,
这个人的品格一定要高尚
had to have respect for women, had to be good-looking,
必须得尊敬女性 必须长得帅
and had to love me for who I was,
必须爱我的全部
because I’m kind of a unique character.
因为我有一点特立独行
So, I went along life, went to an Ivy League school,
然后我长大了 考上了常春藤盟校
played soccer, achieved whatever I could achieve
踢过足球 实现了一切我能实现的目标
and grasp at at that moment,
抓住一切可以抓住的机会
but one thing that always lingered is that
但总有一个东西在我心头萦绕
I really wanted to find this one thing,
我真的特别想找到这个东西
which was my soul mate.
也就是我的心灵伴侣
So, I’m like 24, 25 years old,
当时我大概24 25吧
and by this time in the Christian community,
对于基督徒来说 这个年龄
it’s like your eggs are probably getting cobwebby at this point.
卵巢已经差不多结蜘蛛网了
[Laughter]
[笑声]
Now, we think 25, that’s not too old,
现在 我们认为25岁并不算大
but back then, I felt old.
但在当时 我觉得自己已经不再年轻了
So one night, I was browsing on the Internet,
一天晚上 我正刷着网页
and I’m really into the Myers-Briggs personality test,
我是个特别信迈尔斯·布里格斯性格测试的人
so I was looking up,
所以 我在搜
I wanted to find a guy who was an INFJ male —
我想找一个INFJ型的男人
[laughter]
[观众大笑]
So, I just typed into Google,”INFJ male,” right?
于是 我在谷歌上输入了 “INFJ型的男人”
And there were two results,
搜到了两条结果
and one of them happened to be my future spouse.
其中一个刚好是我将来的另一半
[laughter]
[笑]
So, I had reached out to him, we met up —
我联系了他 我们在线下见了面
I happened to be doing social work in Pasadena,
我刚好在帕萨迪纳市做社会工作
he happened to be a software developer
他也刚好在帕迪萨纳市的一家创业公司
working for a start-up in Pasadena, but living in Reno —
做着软件开发的工作 不过住在里诺
and we had this amazing connection, we had this whirlwind courtship,
我们一拍即合 开始了蜜恋
and within six months, to all of our families dismay,
在六个月之内 我们没有告诉家人
we were married.
偷偷结婚了
But it made sense!
但这并不唐突
Our families, they got it.
我们的家人 也懂
They saw us together, and they understood,
他们看见我俩在一起的样子 他们明白
“These two people are super-compatible,
“这两个人非常合拍
they have a tremendous amount of respect for one another,
他们非常尊重彼此
and they literally make each other better people.”
他们在一起能让对方成为更好的人”
So, he was like the yin to my yang,
他之于我 就像阴之于阳
he was a software developer,
他是一个软件开发师
super chill, relaxed, goes at a slow pace, but a steady pace.
非常冷静 从容 有条不紊
And then, I was just crazy, erratic, creative.
而我就有点疯 没有规划 天马行空
And it just worked like lock and key,
我们就像锁和钥匙
just so, so, so seamless.
无比的契合
And this went along for — I moved to Reno,
之后 我搬去了里诺
dropped out of grad school, moved to Reno,
从硕士学校退了学 去了里诺
started working in start-ups,
开始去创业公司打工
and started doing start-uppy things with my new husband.
开始和我的新婚丈夫做一些创业工作
And every night, we would go out to restaurants, or bars,
每天晚上 我们都会去餐厅或者酒吧
just talk about ideas.
分享彼此的想法
It was like TED talks all the time.
我们就像一直在做TED演讲一样
We just really enjoyed each other’s minds.
我们就是非常欣赏对方的想法
And we were soul mates, literally.
我们是真真切切的心灵伴侣
And so, this went along, we’ve been married now nine years,
一切都很好 我们现在结婚九年了
so this went along for a good while,
和和睦睦的过了好一段时间
and it felt like the most peaceful time in my entire life.
我感觉这是我人生中最美好的岁月
I felt like I had a home inside this person’s soul,
我感觉这个人的心灵深处是家的港湾
and this person lived with me, we worked together,
这个人与我住在一起 我们一起工作
oftentimes we did projects together, we dreamed together,
有时候一起做项目 一起进入梦乡
we bought a house together, I helped him raise my step-kids together.
我们一起买了个房子 我帮他一起养大我的继子们
And everything just seemed,
这一切就好像
it seemed like I had won the lottery,
就好像我中了彩票
like I could check that box off, like”Found my soul mate.”
就好像我刮开那一格 上面写着 “恭喜你 找到了心灵伴侣”
And so, you can imagine, one day,
所以 你可以想象 有一天
I was told something that would change my life,
有人告诉我一件事 能把这一切都打乱
I was told that my spouse was transgender.
有人告诉我说 我的伴侣是变性人
You could probably hear a pin drop right now.
谁丢了一根针到地上?[笑]
And my response was interesting, my first response was,
我的回答很有趣 我的第一句话是
“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”
“你放屁”
[Laughter]
[笑声]
My second response was,
我的第二句话是
“OK, tell me more, you know,
“好吧 继续说
like what does this mean for us?
你这么做 我们怎么办?
And what do you have to do to feel whole
你要做什么才能让你感觉是个完整的人
and to feel like you feel good in your body?”
才能让你满意自己的身体?”
So, this was about three years ago now,
这大概是三年前的事
and we are still married,
现在 我们还有婚姻关系
and this took me through this process of really researching,
这件事让我仔仔细细查了一下
what does it mean to be transgender?
有些人为什么要变性?
For my spouse,
对我的配偶来说
it meant that she was not comfortable in her male body,
这意味她在男性皮囊里呆着不舒服
and that she needed to medically transition.
她需要进行变性手术
Now for me, if you are anybody out there is thinking,”Shoot!”
你们要是我 可能会想:“卧槽”
You’re looking at your partner right now and being like –
然后这样看着配偶
[Laughter]
[笑声]
“Are you going to drop this bomb on me?”
“不要告诉我 你也有这种爆炸消息”
It’s been an interesting journey,
这段经历很有意思
I would love to say –
我想说
I was always very PC, and very open-minded,
我一直很淡然 一直很开明
and very encouraging of her transition.
也很支持她变性
She did give me the option, she said,
她也给了我一个选择
“You know, if this ends our relationship,
她说:“如果我们的关系因此而结束
I will not do this.”
我就不做手术了”
I just had a tremendous amount of respect
我非常尊敬她
for how much she respected our marriage and me, as a human.
因为 她还非常尊重我们的婚姻 尊重我这个人
So, it’s like I had all this respect for her,
一方面我非常尊敬她
and I wanted the best for her,
我想要她拥有最好的人生
and I wanted her to be whole,
我想让她成为一个完整的人
and at the same time, I couldn’t put words to it,
另一方面 我又无法言表
but I was feeling like somebody was dying, you know?
但我感觉似乎有个人将要死去 你懂吗?
It was like somebody that I knew was going away,
就好像我认识的一个人走了
and there was a new person coming in.
换成了一个陌生人
And part of my struggle is really real,
我的一部分内心纠结是真实的
and it’s really just the natural progression
这只是配偶要去变性的
of how one would feel when their spouse transitions.
正常心路历程
And then, there’s another part of it,
然后 另一部分的感受
which is more like around 60% of my reaction,
大约是我百分之六十的反应
and that’s what is known as internalized transphobia.
是所谓内化变性人恐惧症
And I didn’t even know I had it.
我都不知道我有这症状
It’s very much – Alexis talked about programming
就好像……Alexis曾谈过编程
and what men and boys have been programmed
他说男人和男孩被设计成
to think about women and sexuality,
会想女人和性
and I think as a society, we’ve been programmed to think
我觉得 作为一个社会 我们被设计成
that people who don’t fit into the binary,
那些不符合二元性别的人
who aren’t men or women,
既不是男人 也不是女人的人
or who were born as a sex that they don’t identify with,
或者不认同自己原生性别的人
that those people are different, or weird, or strange.
那些人是不一样的 是怪异的 是奇怪的
And so imagine, when I know this person inside and out,
所以 你们想想 一个里里外外我都了解的人
I have been married to this person for six years by this point,
一个此时和我结婚六年的人
and I adored every fiber of this person’s being.
一个全身每一个细胞我都爱的人
So you can imagine that me, of all people, would understand
所以你们可以想象 我是全世界最了解
and realize that this is a normal person,
最能意识到这是个普通人
who has a very serious condition that is treatable.
患了一种严重但可以治愈的病
But it was hard,
但这太难了
because I still felt this sense of embarrassment, a little bit,
因为我仍能感受到一丝尴尬
or shame, that we were now different. Right?
或者说羞耻 因为我们不再是我们了 对吧?
So I had to go through my entire process,
我必须得经历这一整个过程
you know, this has been three years,
已经三年了
but I’ve had to do a lot of hard work
我得做很多功课
on” What does it mean to be married to somebody who is transgender?
关于 “和变性人结婚意味着什么?”
What does that mean about my sexuality?
这对我的性取向意味着什么?
Does that mean that I am now a lesbian?”
难道说我现在是女同性恋
Because when we go out, of course,
因为 当我们一起出门的时候
people see us and they just think that we’re a lesbian couple.
别人看到我们 只会觉得我们是一对女同
That’s not entirely accurate.
但这并不能算对
What does it mean —
这些活动又怎么办
you know, we go to the gym,
我们一起去健身房
and we go to the locker room together,
我们一起去更衣室
and we swim together,
我们一起游泳
and all these things lead us to interactions with people
这一切都不可避免得要我们与这些
that could or could not be understanding of our situation.
能或不能理解我们的情况的人打交道
And that was hard for me,
这对我来说很难
it was hard for me to go from having all this privilege as a white, middle-class female,
让我从一个白人 中层阶级女性
who feels OK being a female,
一个觉得当女性挺好
who is married to a male,
一个嫁给男性的女人
so I was in a heterosexual relationship,
一个异性恋 转变成另一种
and I had all this privilege that I didn’t even know that I had. So,
而我完全不知道我有过这些特权
as we’re going through this journey,
当我们一起经历这件事的时候
it’s like we’re learning new things everyday,
就好像 我们每天都在学习新事物
and I’m learning what words to say,
我在学 该说什么话
what words not to say;
不该说什么话
I’m learning what works in the bedroom,
我在学 卧室里什么事能干
what doesn’t work in the bedroom, right?
什么事不能干 对吧?
I’m relearning all sorts of things,
我重新学习各种东西
but what I’m learning the most
但我学到最多的是
is that a lot of my fear about my spouse changing
我对配偶变性的诸多恐惧
was really imposed from the outside,
其实是由外界压过来的
it was really my fear of what other people would think.
只是我担心其他人会怎么想
And so now, I stand here today.
今天 我站在这里
I am the proud wife of a transgender woman,
我是一个自信的变性女性的妻子
and she is still my soul mate.
她依然是我的心灵伴侣
And I would know she is my soul mate
即使这里漆黑一片
if this room was dark right now,
我也能知道她是我的心灵伴侣
I would know how to find her in this room.
我也会知道该怎么找到她
And I think that’s the lesson to take from all this
我认为这是所有人应该学习的
is that people have a patina,
每个人都有一个外表
they have a presence in the world,
在世界上有一个形态
they have a look, or they have a job,
他们有一个长相 或有一份工作
or they have all these things that are outward-facing,
或者其他外向表现形态
that everybody identifies them by and puts them into boxes;
可以定义他们的形态 可以分门别类的形态
that’s how we categorize people when we get to know them.
是我们认识他们的时候 识别他们的点
But underneath, there’s a soul,
但在里面 还存有一个心灵
and that soul is so much deeper and stronger,
那个心灵非常有深度 非常强大
and so much more identifiable than that patina. So,
要比那个外表更加有辨识度
my challenge to you today is,
今天 我给你们的挑战是
“ Do you know,
“你知道”
would you even know how to recognize your soul mate?”
“你知不知道如何认出你的心灵伴侣?”
If you are going out in the world right now,
如果你现在出去找
would you know what you are looking for?
你知道你要找的是什么吗?
Thank you very much, it’s been a pleasure.
谢谢大家 非常荣幸
(Applause)
[掌声]

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