Nonverbals are anything that communicates, but it’s not a word.
The public knows them as body language.
How we dress, how we walk have meaning.
And we use that to interpret what’s in the mind of the person.
My name is Joe Navarro.
And for 25 years I was a special agent with the FBI.
My job was to catch spies.
Most of my career I spent within the National Security Division.
A lot of it had to do with looking at specific targets.
And then it was about, well, how do we get in their heads
and how do we neutralize them.
Our security is based on nonverbals.
We look at the person through the peephole.
We look at who’s behind us at the ATM machine.
We know from the research that most of us select our mates based on nonverbals.
So we may think we’re very sophisticated.
But in fact, we are never in a state where we’re not transmitting information.
There’s a lot of myths out there.
The ones that stand out is if you cross your arms,
that it’s a blocking behavior.
That’s just nonsense.
Even when you don’t like the person that is in front of you,
this isn’t to block them out. It’s actually to self-soothe.
Because in essence it’s a self hug.
When you’re sitting at a movie and you’re watching, you’re gonna cross your arms.
You’re waiting for somebody. You tend to do this.
What’s interesting is we do this behavior more in public than in private.
The other one that really stands out is
as we think about something, we may look in a certain way,
as we process the information, we may look in another way.
It’s certainly not indicative of deception.
And it really shouldn’t be used that way .
All we can say is the person is processing the information.
The other misconceptions are that
if the person clears their throat, touches their nose or covers their mouth,
We do these behaviors as self soothers.
They’re pacifying behaviors.
Scientifically and empirically, there’s just no Pinocchio effect.
And people who prattle that and say well we can detect deception,
because the person touches their nose or covers their mouth.
That’s a sheer nonsense.
We humans are lousy at detecting deception.
Espionage work is often nowhere near what we see in movies,
and in one of the cases, we had information from another country, saying you have an American
we think is actually a mole,
who somehow entered the United States is able to pass as an American.
But he’s here working for a hostile intelligence service.
And just fortuitously he was videographed
coming out of a flower shop.
We’re looking at the video and everybody in our small unit,
we were saying well there’s not much there.
You know, he’s coming out of the shop getting in his car.
可以看到 他从商店出来 坐上他的车
And I said stop the film right there.
Just as he came out of the shop, he took the flowers.
And most Americans tend to hold the flowers by the stock,
so the flowers are up.
This individual took them and grabbed the stock,
and then held the flowers so that they were facing down.
I said that’s how they carry flowers in Eastern Europe.
Rather than confront him about “Are you a spy?”,
I decided to do what’s called a presumptive.
So as I sat there with him,
I said, ” would you like to know how we know?”
And he had this look on his face,
and I said it was the flowers.
And then he confessed.
When I came into law enforcement, I thought it was all about the confession.
It’s really about face time.
In my 25 years in the FBI,
it was a rarity
that a person didn’t eventually reveal what I needed to know.
Because we would sit down and have these very lengthy conversations.
I look at behaviors to do an assessment.
What is this person transmitting in relations to any stimuli?
My further questioning comes from my observing these behaviors.
The first thing I look at is I look at the hair.
Does it look healthy? Does it look well-groomed?
The forehead is very interesting,
because a lot of times we reveal stress.
A lot of the things that we have gone through life
are often etched in the forehead.
I look at the eyes to see if they’re red or not enough sleep.
The small area here between the eyes called the glabella,
it’s one of the first areas that reveals information to us.
Most often when we don’t like something,
we do that bunny noses of ‘I don’t like’.
We don’t really know what our lips look like.
And we tend to compress them when something bothers us.
When something really bothers us, we tend to suck them in.
The mandibular look at the cheeks,
we may do something like this, we’ll,
we’ll rub our tongue against the inside of the cheek.
But when we try to hide it,
then it tells me that this person is trying to do some perception management.
And if they are, I want to know why.
At the neck, I want to see if there’s any head tilt.
Because head tilt, the person is more relaxed.
The minute the head tilt goes away, there’s usually some issue.
I’m looking at the shoulders.
You ask somebody a question they don’t know, both shoulders shoot up very quickly.
Then when I look at the hands.
When something’s troubling us,
we tend to stiffen our fingers, interlace them, and almost like a teepee.
会十指交错 双手紧握 就像一个圆锥型的帐篷
We move our hands back and forth very slowly.
This is to be differentiated from when we do the steeple,
which we do in this position.
When something’s at issue, we tend to put our hands on our hips.
And we become very territorial.
This is called arms akimbo.
But look how it changes when we put our thumbs forward.
And then it becomes one of more of I mean inquisitive.
But I also look for any behaviors of ventilating.
Because men tend to ventilate at the neck.
And we do at the very instant something bothers us.
And then I look at the legs to see
if there’s any brushing of the legs with the hands,
which is again to pacify.
And then, the feet.
Do I see any behaviors such as wiggling of the feet, kicking of the feet?
If I ask a question and all of a sudden the feet withdraw and are crossed,
如果提问时 对方突然双脚后撤 交叉起来
perhaps the person feels a little threatened by that question.
So when we study nonverbals, it’s not about making judgments.
It’s about assessing what is this person transmitting in that moment.
It really is looking at an individual and saying what are they transmitting.
We’re all transmitting at all times.
We choose the clothes that we wear,
how we groom ourselves, how we dress,
but also how do we carry ourselves.
Are we coming to the office on this particular day with a lot of energy?
Or are we coming in with a different sort of pace?
And what we look for are differences in behavior down to the the minutiae of
what is this individual’s posture as they’re walking down the street.
Are they on the inside of the sidewalk, on the outside?
Can we see his blink rate?
Can we see how often he’s looking at his watch?
I know your blink rate is around eight, eight times a minute.
But you don’t know that you’re not sitting there counting.
All these things factor in, because they’re transmitting information.
Now it’s up to us to then use that information to say okay,
we need to marshal resources to be on that individual right now.
So in most Western cultures,
the first time people touch is when they shake hands.
Touching becomes that important,
because we can always remember a time
when we shook hands with someone and we didn’t like that.
It’s also the first time when our bodies
release these bonding chemicals
that say I like this person or I don’t like this person.
So hand shaking is both necessary
and essential in most cultures.
-Ladies, hi, I’m Joe Navarro. -Joe, I’m Laura.
-女士你好 我是Joe Navarro -Joe 我是Laura
-Laura, how are you? And you are? -Katina.
-Laura 最近怎样？你是？ -Katina
-Katina, how are you? -Okay.
-卡缇娜 你好吗？ -很好
Let me ask you this. Let’s back up a little bit.
-Is this comfortable for you? -Yeah!
Yeah, it’s a little bit more comfortable.
-But it’s not for you, is it? -No.
-但对你来说不是 对吗？ -是不舒服
All right, thank you, all right, so keep talking.
好的 谢谢 那你们继续聊吧
What we’ve done here is we’ve talked about the importance of space and comfort.
They don’t realize is how much further apart they are now standing.
And it’s because we have brought this subject up
to make them comfortable about saying,
Hey, it’s okay to be comfortable at your perfect distance.
And so now we see when they rock,
they rock away from each other.
And they create this space.
If you notice their feet tend to move around more.
There’s a dynamic going on here,
where they’re kind of trying to find what is the perfect space,
what is the perfect distance.
And we know that they’re unsettled
because of the high degree of movement that’s going on.
Poker’s an interesting game.
The similitudes of sitting across from a spy
or sitting across from players
is their reactions to a stimulus.
We have behaviors indicative of psychological discomfort
that we use at home, at work or at the poker table.
So we’re gonna take a look at poker players
and some of the body language that you’ll find at a typical poker game.
So we’ll pause it right there.
So one of the things that you first notice is that when a table is called.
This is the first time many of them see each other.
This is a great opportunity
to be looking for behaviors indicative of discomfort.
We’re gonna see the individual shifting in his chair.
We’re gonna see one individual reaching over and grabbing his shoulder.
The woman in this case her shoulders are rather high.
This is a great opportunity even before the game starts to collect poker intelligence.
All right guys, what is good?
So we’ll stop right there. Look where their hands are at.
Here we’re looking at player number two and number three.
And we notice right away that their hands are on top of the cards.
Some players will cage their cards.
Some players will put their hands directly on top and press them down.
And they may do that because the cards till now increased in value.
Player number one tends to keep his hands very close to his body.
Player number four, she’s actually withdrawn her hands from the table.
Because when we like things, we tend to move our hands forward.
When we don’t like things, we tend to move the hands away.
So as we look at player number three,
I’m often asked about players who shuffle their chips.
What you’re really doing is self soothing.
And this just helps you to make it through the game.
And that’s really all we’re looking for.
-Oh, come on. -Okay, so we’ll stop right there.
-噢 拜托 -好吧 我们在这里暂停
Player number five is sitting there, arms crossed.
You don’t see a lot of activity.
That doesn’t mean he’s not transmitting a lot of information on down the line.
I want to see where those thumbs of his are.
Because he holds them very close when nothing’s going on.
But does that change as the game evolves?
If you’re looking at nonverbals,
it’s often useful to look at them at double the speed.
Because all the nonverbals that are critical jump out at you,
as though it were a caricature.
All right, so stop right there.
The woman in position number four,
you see her head moving around quite a bit.
Player number three, you see of a lot of activity with his hands.
When we look at player number five, now his hands are fully out.
This is as far as we’ve seen them before.
At this point, we know that he’s engaged and that he’s interested.
这时 我们注意到他已经投入其中 并且对这场游戏开始感兴趣了
Now the game is out in the open.
75 to 80 percent of the information we need is sitting out there.
What you often see is everybody’s looking at their own cards,
or looking at the community cards rather than looking around.
You should be looking around to see what was the reaction.
Because you’re gonna see that reaction again.
You know, in poker, we used to say that you can have a poker face.
要知道 在扑克游戏中 我们常说你可以摆扑克脸
But I encountered you can’t have a poker body.
Somewhere, it’s gonna be revealed.
When I was in college in the early 70s,
there were really no courses on nonverbal communications.
You quickly realize that to a great extent,
it’s really about what you can interpret from behavior.
And so we talk about nonverbals, because it matters,
because it has gravitas,
because it affects how we communicate with each other.
And when it comes to nonverbals, this is no small matter.
We primarily communicate nonverbally, and we always will.
Nonverbals are anything that communicates, but it’s not a word.