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“坠入爱河”的八个阶段 – 译学馆
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"坠入爱河"的八个阶段

Falling in Love

然后他吻住了她 那么深入又彻底的吻
“ Then he kissed her so deeply and so completely
她感觉自己像在坠落又好似在漂浮
that she felt like she was falling, floating,
就像爱丽丝梦游仙境里那样 盘旋着降落 降落 降落
spiraling down, down, down, like Alice in Wonderland.”
我是林德赛·多伊博士
My name is Dr. Lindsey Doe.
这里是Sexplanations
This is Sexplanations.
今天的节目是关于坠入爱河
Today ’ s episode, all about falling in love,
是由在线成人商店AdamandEva.com
is sponsored by Adam and Eve.com an online
赞助播出 只要上网就能找到它
sex store you can access anywhere there’s internet.
[挥鞭子声 咳嗽声]
[WHIP CRACKING, COUGH]
坠入爱河这种东西 你可能从没经历过
Falling in love is something you may never do,
也可能经历过一次 或者很多次
do just once, or repeatedly.
它可能是你人生中最棒的体验
It can be the best experience you ever have,
或最烂的 二者兼有 或介于二者之间
the worst, both, or something in between.
就是因为这些不同 所以我们很难确切定义它
Because of this diversity it ’ s difficult to say exactly what it is.
正如Olivia所说 “你很可能不会意识到
Olivia shares, “ You probably won’t realize
爱情的降临 直到某一刻你看着
that it’s happening until you get to the moment
他的眼睛 感受到前所未有的心安和自在
where you look them in the eyes and feel completely safe and free.”
要是能有固定阶段 让我们有迹可循就好了
If only there were stages you could track.
*眨眼*
*wink*
基于生物化学和行为学的一些趋势
Based on the biochemical and behavioral tendencies,
还有其他研究者已经提出过的模式
the models that other researchers have proposed,
再加上我的个人经验 我总结出如下几点
and my personal experiences I’ve come up with the following:
恋爱阶段1:引起兴趣
Falling in love stage 1: Intrigue
恋爱中的人会有一种潜意识“关于你的一切都令人着迷!”
There ’ s a subconscious “ Something about you is desirable!
我们想要知道为什么自己会
” and drawn to the other
这么强烈地被其他人吸引
person this strongly, we want to know why.
是关于他们的什么让一切变得如此美好?
What is it about them that makes things feel so good?
他们如何接吻?
How do they kiss?
为什么我现在才发现他们?
Why am I just now finding them?
他们会选谁?
Who did they vote for?
恋爱阶段2:欣快感
Falling in love stage 2: Euphoria
挪威人称它为forelsket
In Norwegian it ’ s called forelsket,
在迪士尼动画《小鹿斑比》中把它叫做Twitterpation
in the Disney cartoon Bambi it ’ s called Twitterpation.
而我叫它欣快感
I’m calling it euphoria.
在这个阶段你的大脑浸润着天然的快乐激素
The brain now soaking in natural happy hormones: phenylethylamine,
苯基乙胺 多巴胺 和去甲肾上腺素
dopamine, and norepinephrine
它们会让你产生一种神经过敏的感觉——强烈的兴奋感
— gives you this jittery feeling — intensely exciting!
这时我们就会把对方理想化了
We end up idealizing the other person as more attractive, smarter,
觉得他们比实际情况更具吸引力
nicer, more successful etc.
更聪明 更友善 更成功等等
than they might actually be and
然后我们就不想和他们分开了
we don’t want to live without them.
此时你的思绪就会不断被对方的一举一动所牵引
Now your mind seems constantly pointed in their direction,
如果你们今天没有联系
if you don ’ t have contact
你就会觉得寝食难安
with them the day feels unfinished,
如果他打来电话或者发来短信或者你们约会了
when they do call or text or spend time with you swoon,
哦~你的心情就像跑了一个马拉松
it feels like running an emotional marathon.
一切都更加甜蜜 但是你却有点紧张不安
Everything is sweeter and more terrifying
因为现在你变得害怕会失去这段
because now you have something really precious
珍贵的情感
you could lose.
你会希望自己能活久一点 但是如果没有怎么办?
Now you want to live longer and what if you don’t?
Heather说到”实际上 陷入爱河
Heather explains “… actually falling in love,
就像是你意识到自己
is like the moment when you realize
喝得烂醉如泥的那一刻
you are too drunk or stoned.
你会在狂喜和恐慌这两种情绪里起伏不定
You fluctuate between bliss and panic.”
这话说得太对了!
It’s so true!
恋爱阶段3 过家家
Falling love stage 3: Playing house
这个时期的情感和欲望
This level of emotions and desire is often accompanied
往往没有计划性和对未来的担心
by poor decision-making and future-tripping.
因为我们的心理已经产生了变化
Because we ’ re psychologically impaired
会觉得做爱不用保护措施
it seems rational to do things like have unprotected sex,
同居或者私奔去结婚都是很合理的
move into together or run away and get married.
在这个阶段我们就要沉浸在爱情的世界里 忘了日常生活需要吧
We spend this stage in a fantasy and forget real life needs
比如吃饭 睡觉和个人空间
like eating, sleeping, and independence.
把”我需要十点左右上床睡觉”变成
I need go to bed around 10 becomes
咱们凌晨四点再睡吧 来一次电话性爱
“ lets stay up until 4 am having phone sex and
再聊聊我们墨西哥的橄榄园
talking about our olive orchard
还有两只袖珍奶牛和芒果树
in Mexico with two mini cows and a mango tree. ”
我一直都想要!
I want it forever!
恋爱阶段4 匹配度测试
Falling in love stage 4: Fitness testing
感情进展顺利 所以
Things are great, so
为什么不测测恋爱关系的持久度呢?
why not evaluate the relationship’s durability?
或许进一步了解你
Maybe get to know you more so I
我就可以明确自己对你的想法和感觉
can justify my thoughts and feelings about you?
我会尽可能多问一些关于
I’ m going to ask you as many questions
你的世界观 原则底线
as I can about your worldview, deal-breaker
之类的问题
kind of stuff.
关于人口过剩 宗教 在墨西哥购买房产的看法
Thoughts on overpopulation, religion, buying property in Mexico….
我知道你会按照我的预想回答或者表现的更好
I know you’ ll answer the way I want you to or better
因为内啡肽会穿过
because endorphins coursing through
我的机体给我一种感觉
my system give me a sense
没错了 我可以和你进一步发展了
that this is it and I can keep falling deeply in love with
但是我们等着瞧吧
you but we’ll see.
恋爱阶段5 过度投入
Falling in love stage 5: Consumption
对于成功的盘问感到满足 我们被填满了 完全陷进去了
Satisfied with a successful interrogation,we’re filled up, totally smitten.
在大的方面
And in big part
因为我们的身体已经沉浸于自己制造的止痛剂之中
because our bodies are addicted to the regular dose of self-made painkillers.
我认为Maureen Gaffney关于恋爱的解释里很好的说明了”过度投入”的概念
I think Maureen Gaffney’s notes on falling in love describe consumption well: “There
“有一种自我膨胀的感觉
is a feeling of self-expansion,
你的心随着爱在爆裂 你身体完全跟随着欲望
your heart “ bursting ” with love, your body with desire.
你在被爱中 你的自我意识中
You feel “ puffed up ” with pride –
这段经历中 自豪的
in the beloved, in yourself, in having this experience
飘飘然
at all.
你想把你所有的感觉都填满 当你这么做的时候
You want to “ fill up ” your senses, and when you do,
你感觉到了婴儿时期之后
you feel that sense of complete
就很少感受到的圆满和亲昵
satiation and intimacy rarely felt since infancy.”
对 我想要被爱完全填满
Yup – I want to consume lovvvvveeeee.
这对于我来说就像是
For me this looks like hours
在数小时的贴胸拥抱和亲密交流后
of bare-chested cuddling and intimate conversation followed
和我的朋友交流我所感受到的爱和快乐
by telling my friends how much affection and joy I’ve found.
恋爱阶段6 接受现实
Falling in love stage 6: Acceptance
当他们或者是你 把事情搞砸了 必须得打个电话了(来协商)
They mess up, or you do, and a call has to be made
否则就结束这段关系 因为这并不是
Either end it because it isn’t
一个童话故事 你无法处理 那么
a fairy tale and you can’t cope or
欢迎来到现实世界
Welcome reality.
也许他们不是“从星星来的你” 专门为你而存在
They might not have come from the stars made just
但他们仍然很美好
for you but they ’ re still awesome!
恋爱阶段7 恋爱结晶
Falling in love stage 7: Crystallization
结晶化这个说法来自于Marie Henri Beyle
Crystallization refers to Marie-Henri Beyle ’ s idea
恋爱就像是冬天的
that falling in love mimics a winter
树干被投入到了一个盐矿
tree bough being tossed into a salt mine.
在最开始的时候它是一根木棍 嘛
At first it’s a stick. Meh,
木棍
stick,
但在几个月不断的吸取水分 盐分 干燥之后
but then after a few months absorbing the water and salts and drying it becomes
变得被无穷的闪烁而炫目的小晶片所包裹
quote “encrusted with an infinity of little crystals scintillating and dazzling.”
你所拥有的便结晶化了
What you have has crystallized.
当你到了坚定的相信
You ’ re to the stage when you solidly believe
你所坠入的便是你想要的爱情
the love you ’ ve fallen into is Yep, I want this,
我想要你
I want you.
我沉浸在爱情之中
I’ve fallen in love.
让我们这么做吧!
Let’s do this!
然后高速颠簸的落入感情的下坡道
And the high-speed tumble down an emotional chute begins to slow,
或者直接撞向
or you crash into the
地面
ground.
或者你回到自己的责任和自主权上
Either way you get back your responsibilities and autonomy
如果这样行的通的话
if it ’ s going to work you ’ ll
你必须脚踏实地决定去爱——并爱上这个抉择
have to find the ground and decide to love — love the choice.
恋爱阶段8 重演
Falling in love stage 8: Replay
我觉得标记这些阶段是很有帮助的
I think it ’ s helpful to note these stages
因为这些阶段并不是完全线性的
while numbered don ’ t have to be linear.
实际上它们可能更像是一团乱麻
In fact it probably looks more like a squiggle.
我们可能不断的去接受
We might go twitterpated to accepting
去全情投入 然后主动或者无意识地
to consumption then intrigue rewinding and or replaying stages
密谋重放 或者说重演阶段
subconsciously and consciously.
原地打圈是正常的 就像Jacqueline Kost说的
Moving around is normal and in the words of Jacqueline Kost,
就像把感情当作一件工作
something you “ repeat over
不断的重复
and over as you work on the relationship.”
或许你会再一次爱上同一个人
Maybe you fall in love again with the same person,
又或许你会爱上另一个人
maybe with new people, one after the other
或者同时爱上两个人
or at the same time.
不管这怎么发生了
However it happens and regardless of
它是不是”结晶化”了 记住
whether or not it crystallizes remember it probably
它可能是从”感兴趣”这个阶段开始的
starts with intrigue.
所以始终保持好奇心!
So stay curious!
就用这个给力的折扣来给你自己或者你的爱人买个礼物吧!
And please get you or a loved one a present using this awesome discount.
Adom and Eva可以承诺给你们
Adam and eve have made it possible
打五折的机会 只要你在购物车
for you to get 50 % off an eligible item in your shopping
支付时输入口令 DOE
cart when you use promo code DOE at checkout.
选一个玩具
Select the toy.
输入DOE 谈恋爱既能省钱
Type D-O-E fall in love with saving money!
又能爽一下
And getting off.
[结尾音乐]
[OUTRO MUSIC]
苯基乙胺 多巴胺和去甲肾上腺素
Phenylethylamine, dopamine, and norepinephrine —
它们会让你产生一种敏锐的感觉——唔~强烈的兴奋感!
gives you this jittery feeling — woo, intensely exciting!
[两人大笑]
[LINDSEY AND MAIA LAUGH]
刚刚听起来像假高潮吗?
Was that like a fake orgasm?

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视频概述

本视频生动有趣的介绍了恋爱中的几个阶段,对于什么是恋爱提出了自己的见解,值得学习观看~

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKGS9ckmuR8

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