Have you ever heard of the expression ‘old soul’?
You know, that one friend who, instead of going to a rager of a party,
they’d rather have a couple of drinks with a few good friends?
Sometimes not even drinks, but just coffee?
Sometimes not even coffee, but tea?
You know, grandma’s in disguise: the old souls.
The term actually has no base in psychology
and the interpretation of it changes from person to person.
For some people, it means somebody mature beyond their age.
For others, it’s someone who has gone through many different reincarnations of life;
a person who draws from their years of past lives’ wisdom.
To be clear, the idea of old souls has been debunked by science.
However, some of the biggest believers of old souls are nurses who deliver babies who don’t cry at all,
like the whole ‘being born’ thing ain’t nothing.
Being an old soul has its advantages,
but one disadvantage is trouble in relationships.
First, old souls usually come from single-parent households.
The thing about coming from a single-parent household
is that kids may be forced to mature faster than others.
Having to deal with divorce is a very sobering experience
that can make kids mature quickly.
However, growing up in a single-parent household,
they don’t really grow up with a stable relationship present in their lives.
This means they can have trouble with their own
stable relationships as they get older.
There is a term that’s close to ‘old souls’
that has scientific basis: pseudomature.
This term refers to kids, teens and young adults
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who seem older than they are. Pseudomature kids are
often the result of single-parent households
and can be called ‘old souls.’
Secondly, old souls prefer the company of older people.
Because old souls feel older, they feel a disconnect with
people their age.
Usually, for the first couple of decades of your life,
you’re surrounded by a majority of people your age.
Old souls usually end up hanging out with older people,
so when they get into relationships with
someone their age, it’s hard. An old soul
probably won’t fit in with their partner’s friends.
The other side of the coin is that they date someone
older than them, which brings its own problems
of pushing social norms, like, what if someone dies
well before the other? Age difference also may cause
problems when a couple tries to have kids.
All this and more can bring a lot of stress to a relationship.
The third thing with old souls is that they’ve got
very high standards. Assuming they’ve lived many lives
and been in many relationships, they’re subconsciously
comparing their current relationship to their best
past ones. They know what they want. This constant
comparison can lead to a lack of satisfaction and stress.
Imagine remembering all the great loves of your life.
Trying to get over those and simultaneously falling
in love with someone else. It’s hard.
And their partners end up feeling judged and evaluated.
This can lead to frustration for both parties.
Sometimes, they seem distant because they don’t want
to be hurt again.
As well, they have a strong sense of identity.
They’re stubborn in their ways and they don’t try new
things. Since they’ve lived so many lives, they’ve
tried everything. They end up having a
very well-established personality as well.
This can make dating hard when you keep trying to
spice things up with new adventures but your partner
seems uninterested. It becomes very frustrating
and difficult to deal with.
Fifth and finally, old souls have a
very strong sense of purpose.
After years and years in different lives spent doing
求职 结婚 生孩子等
the basics like getting a job, getting married,
having kids, et cetera, old souls start to want
more from life; to have one of their lives have an
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actual impact, to mean something, like a legacy.
What this means is that they are very driven people:
they have goals and want to do things that matter.
Sometimes, that means their relationships take a
back seat. Or sometimes you can feel like you’re just
some tool to their success. On the other hand,
it can be very inspiring to be in love with someone
with goals. It’s important to find a balance between
the two. These are the five ways falling in love
with an old soul can be hard, but well worth-it.