The other day, I met a friend of mine for brunch,
when she broke the news:
YOU’VE BEEN CHOSEN YOU’VE BEEN CHOSEN
And though I am genuinely happy for her,
I also felt painfully aware that
I have been single for over a year now.
知道啦 知道啦 谢啦 小宝贝们
I know, I know, thank you children,
I have fulfilled the prophecy I made so long ago.
But being single for this long has been interesting and hard,
and terribly lonely, but also awfully fun.
Hanging out with couples used to be…
I haven’t had a human touch in a long time, you guys.
Just let me have this.
我想说 没错 每当听到朋友订婚的消息
I mean yes, every time a friend has gotten engaged,
there is a tinge of
And thanks to my doctor, I am also hyper aware that
– Your biological clock is ticking.
#时钟滴答作响 生活总要继续 呵呵#
– Tick tock on the clock, but the party don’t stop, no
– Woah-woah oh-oh –
And yes, all my friends my age who are also single are having conversations like
– Oh, I am definitely freezing my eggos
– Ugh, that’s just so expensive.
I think I’m just gonna adopt
– Adoption is expensive too and also really hard
– I’ll just marry a man-child then.
I can have both.
So in a mini freakout, I tweeted:
All of my friends are getting engaged, married or having babies,
and I’m over here just GENUINELY HAPPY FOR THEM
BECAUSE I DO NOT COMPARE MY JOURNEY TO ANYONE ELSE’S
AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU
And I’m doing my best to live by this
because, you know, compare and despair,
and the more I embrace that the ends are in the steps I take,
the more I’m able to resonate with this.
It was especially enlightening
when I was talking to a very happily married friend of mine
It was sort of this like’I want what you have’ situation,
where I was very envious of her stable loving marriage
and she felt envious of my stable growing career.
We were both looking at what the other had
with so much longing that
we couldn’t really appreciate what we had in front of us.
– What are you doing?
– Just hanging out, watching TV with my husband.
噢天啊 我好嫉妒你 我好怀念有人陪的感觉
– Mmm, man, I’m so jelly. I remember companionship.
– What are you doing?
– Oh, just hanging out with my cat watching TV
– Ugh, that sounds so great. I remember freedom.
– 想和我交换人生吗？- 想和我交换人生吗？
– Wanna trade?- Wanna trade?
Plus, I have several friends
who also got married, and had kids
because they thought it was the right path that they should take,
but in hindsight, have realized –
perhaps it wasn’t necessarily the right path for them at that time.
Sometimes they wish they’d waited longer.
Some feel trapped in unhappy marriages,
and some regret giving up their careers and feel unfulfilled.
And I say this not to highlight their unhappiness,
but to remind you and myself that
it’s really easy to look at what someone else has and idealize it.
Whether you’re achieving professional success
or engaged to your person,
there are still going to be issues to deal with,
feelings to sort through,
and a constant awareness
to not take for granted what is right in front of you right now.
我是Anna Akana 我们会撑过去的 至少我希望如此
I’m Anna Akana, and we’re gonna get through this, I hope.
Thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today’s episode!
Squarespace has award-winning templates
and an all-in-one platform,
so there’s no patches, upgrades or installs ever.
If you need a domain, look no
further and say’ I do’:
Squarespace has a simple and unique set-up experience
and 24-hour customer service
if you have any bumps along the way you
You can go to squarespace.com/anna
to start your free trial today.
and use the offer code”ANNA” for 10% off at checkout.
and the offer code”ANNA” for 10% off at checkout.