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肚里的蛔虫:情绪翻译 – 译学馆
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肚里的蛔虫:情绪翻译

Emotional Translation

学会倾听 是同爱人相处之道的重要技巧
Listening to a lover is a vital skill in relationships
另一种相关的技能 也许人们对它知之甚少
But there is an associated and perhaps less well-recognized talent
但是我们也需要培养
that we may also need to nurture
有的时候 并不是要一味的听TA说的是什么
That of sometimes not quite listening to what a lover is saying
而是要弄清 TA这么说到底是什么意思
in favor of deftly imagining what they might really mean
因为有可能 TA所说和所想的完全不同
which could be a different thing all together
虽然不胡乱猜疑被认为是尊重的表现
Though taking someone at face value is rightly judged to be a supreme symbol of respect
但在恋爱中 有时需要以一种更精确
Within love, it may at points be more accurate
并且更友善的方式 挖掘出言语背后的含义
as well as a great deal kinder, to dig beneath the surface meaning of words
以探究爱人潜藏的
in a search for partners’ real 
更羞怯 更复杂或者更犹豫的真实想法
but more bashful, complex or hesitant underlying intention
我们需要加强
We need to get better at the business of emotional translation
将人们所说转换成他们所想的情绪翻译技巧
at navigating the gap between what people say and what they mean
这里是一些极端的典型例子
Here are some typically examples of the deviant
向他人承认 他们能够打击 伤害和摧残我们
It can feel profoundly humiliating to admit to another human being
会让我们感到深深的耻辱
that they have the power to unnerve, hurt and destroy us
坠入爱河不仅仅意味着在关键的方面使人强大
just start to love someone isn’t ones to be strengthened in key ways
也意味着削弱 以及任人摆布
but also to be weakened and placed at their mercy
因为我们会变得(如果这段关系很健康) 非常依赖他们的良好行为
for we become (if love has gone right), heavily reliant on their good behavior
他们的爱意以及他们的依赖
their kindness and their dependability
还没到这个阶段时
when this is not forthcoming, 
我们可能不会向不亲密的爱人暴露我们的弱点
We may choose not to lay bare our weakness to the lover who isn’t exploited
我们抗议说 我们好好的 这种尝试就像
Our protestations that we’re just fine are an attempt
他们试图脱我们衣服的时候宣称
as unconvincing as they are touching
我们的爱情坚不可摧
to lay claim to a solidity and invulnerability
一样没有说服力
that our love has in fact …stripped us off
当然 这不可能那么简单和浅显
It cannot, of course, be that simple or that stark
一开始 我们几乎不会向
For a start, we almost never say such things 
不确定是否深爱自己的人说这些话
to people we aren’t certain love us really quite a lot
我们必须在和某人相处得很安然舒适时
We need to be very secure and comfortable around someone
才敢对他们说想让他们去死
before we can dare to tell them we want them dead
另外 这种愤怒的实质不是简单的蔑视
Secondly, this kind of rage is evidence not of simple contempt
而是巨大的期望值
but rather of immense hope
我们不会和同事或朋友这么说
We don’t speak like this to our colleagues or our friends
不仅仅因为我们礼貌 更是因为我们不够在乎他们
not just because we’re polite, but because we don’t care about them enough 
我们不曾费心思对他们期望很多
We haven’t bothered to expect very much from them, 
因此当他们令我们失望时 我们也不会很愤怒
and therefore cannot muster fury, when they disappiont us
只有当期望值设定得过高时
Only when the bar of expectation has been set dauntingly high
我们才有可能产生无尽的愤怒
Do we allow ourselves to give way to boudless fury
这种愤怒的谈话是爱情给予的意外的礼物之一
This kind of incensed talk is one of the odder gifts of love
我们对于爱人的权威常常很弱
Our authority over our lovers is frequently rather tenuous 
有很多我们希望他们去想和去做的事情
There are so many things we’d like them to do and want
但是遗憾的是我们并不能像牵线木偶一样控制他们
but we cannot sadly direct them like marionettes
通常来说 唯一的方法是不加询问而直接要求
Often the only recourse is to demand without asking, 
意有所指而不是直接表露
to imply without saying
我们并不是在忸怩作态
We aren’t just being coy, 
我们面临的是我们控制范围的边界
We’re up against the limits of what we’re able to control
当专制的要求遇到平等的关系时
Passive-aggression is what happens to dictatorial wishes
就会发生被动攻击
when they are tempered by the egalitarian reality of relationships
对于被攻击的一方来说
For the person on the receiving end,
通常很难理解发生了什么
It’s often hard to know what’s happened, 
他们有被控制感 感到沉重 内疚 可能还有点伤心
They felt controlled, heavy, guilty, and perhaps a bit sad
被动攻击方很聪明 不会留下任何控制的痕迹
The passive-aggressive partner has been clever enough to leave no traces of their manipulation.
从表面上看 似乎被攻击方有选择余地
On the surface, it sounds like the partner has some options
但是在这段关系的实质中
But within the reality of the relationship
显然
It’s evident that 
他们只能做那些他们甚至尚未被直接要求去做的事情
they will simply have to do what they haven’t directly been asked to do 
听起来充满了控制和管理
It sounds controlling and managerial
可能是要求拿出箱子
It might be a follow-on to a request to take out the bins
看看还剩多少瓶牛奶
to count how many bottles of milk are left 
并且记住要在七点之前到场的后续要求
and to remember to show up no later than seven o’clock
这种专制的要求听起来似乎完全无爱
This kind of bossiness sounds as if there’s no love left
但是对于程序性控制的渴望
but the desire to control procedurally
常常是精神上害怕失去伴侣的表现
 is often a symptom of a fear of losing one’s partner emotionally 
一个人只有在感到快要失去掌控时才好变得控制欲很强
One has to feel quite out of control to become controlling
严词厉色实际上是恳求亲密而不得其法
The sternness is really a misguided plea for closeness 
真正的信息与表象无关
The real message has nothing to do with the table
它真正的含义是
What it means in truth  
一方感到伴侣缺乏信任和忠诚
is one senses the partner’s lack of trust and devotion
从而求助于对他们的生活加以控制
and is resorting to exercising pratical control over their life
以期获得对于他们情绪的些许控制权
In order to achieve some kind of control 
——而这是他们真正想控制的东西
over what one really wants to get a handle on – their emotions 
如果对爱情更有安全感 他们就会停手
One would stop if one felt more reassured of their love
控制行为是通过粗暴命令传达的爱意
Controlling behavior is a bid for affection delivered as a barking order 
多数时候 人们在爱情中想要表达的
Most of the time, what people really mean in love 
比他们所说的更友善 更温柔 也更深刻
is kinder, more tender and more poignant than what they manage to say  
但也有些时候
But they’re also times 
是口蜜腹剑
when the surface is sweet and reality far darker
就像马塞尔·普鲁斯特说的那样
As Marcel Proust knew
在爱情中 爱得少的一方常常更温柔
In love, it is often the one who loves less who makes the tender speeches
伴侣可能在以一种深情的方式欺骗我们和他们自己
The partner may be fooling us and themselves in a sentimental direction
夸大所有纯净 美好和简单的东西
exaggerating all that’s pure, good and simple
理解他们的话时 我们需要合理地怀疑
When we translate their words, we should get fruitfully suspicious
也许我们把诚实的门槛定得过高
Perhaps, we’ve set the bar of being honest too high 
我们自己造成了这种局面
We’ve created the situation 
我们自己拒绝接受坏消息 和他们矛盾复杂的情绪
where we are refusing to accept difficult news and their ambivalent, complex emotions
很有可能 如果多一些开明和镇定
Quite possibly, with a little more open-mindedness and sangfroid
我们就能很好地处理我们伴侣的黑暗面
We could come to deal well enough with darker parts of our partners
但现在 我们和伴侣联手让我们的恐惧陷入了危险的困境
But for now, we are engaged in a dangerous collusion to keep our fears at bay
从而使他们更容易成为现实
Thereby allowing them a higher chance of becoming realities
在理想中的未来
In the ideal future
我们会在耳朵上佩戴一个小装置
We will have in our ears little devices 
它能够把我们伴侣的话翻译成他们想表达的意思
that will translate our lovers’ words into what they mean
我们能通过这个不起眼的磨砂钢制小装置听到
We will hear (via our discreet, brushed steel appliances)  
他们企图表达的内容
not what they overtly say
而不是他们字面表达的意思
but what they are attempting to communicate
同样地 他们也能听到我们想表达的意思
And ideally they’d be wearing one too.
因为翻译的挑战必然总是双向的
for the challenge of translation is, of course, always a mutual one
但在那之前
Until that time though, 
我们需要一直努力理解我们接收到的信息
we should always make the effort to decode the messages that we receive
并且承认 理解另一半的话而不是仅仅倾听
accepting that it is a legitimate part of the effort of love 
是经营爱情必不可少的一部分
to interpret rather than just to listen to another person’s words.

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译制信息
视频概述
听录译者

Summer 94

翻译译者

气氕氘氚

审核员

知易行难

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q57MLYpWJmQ

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