So are you familiar with the 50/70 rule?
It goes like this.
When you’re speaking to somebody, 50 % of the time,
you want to be making eye contact.
Whenever you’re listening to somebody,
70 % of the time you want to be making eye contact.
Is it perfect?
it’s a guide.
Today’s video, gentles,
I’m giving you twenty one tips
so that you could level up your eye contact skills.
Tip number one. Know where you stand.
You want to get feedback from somebody that you trust,
maybe work with a coach, but you
want to know are you making too much
eye contact or are you making not enough?
If you’re not making enough eye contact,
you will come off as weak someone’s that’s
a pushover someone that people don’t take seriously.
If you make too much eye contact,
all of a sudden you come off as being overly aggressive.
Tip number two.
Know how long to maintain eye contact.
On average, you’re looking for about three seconds. So,
平均来说 你期望可以有三秒钟的眼神交流 所以
when you’re looking and talking with someone,
be thinking one one thousand, two
one thousand, three one thousand and then,
两秒 三秒 然后
you can safely look away for a second maybe
nod your head like you’re listening,
but about three seconds is perfect.
Now, this next tip is
about you having impact when you’re speaking to a group of people.
You want to look people in the eye,
so that they remember what you say.
This is based off of 2006 study out of the University of Sterling.
What they found is that if you go around and you’re making eye contact,
when you’re talking to people about something that’s important
that you want them to remember by making that eye contact,
they are much more likely to remember the words coming out of your mouth. Now,
this next tip is a bit
of an interrogation secret and it comes out of Tufts University
and what they discovered is that when you give people long eye contact,
we’re talking five,
eight, ten seconds and they know they’re being looked at,
八秒 十秒时 他们知道自己正在被注视着
they are more likely to be
truthful when they’re speaking to you. So,
you want to get the truth out of somebody,
just keep looking at them, and, boom, that
truth is going to come out. ,
Now，this next tip is all about being remembered.
It comes out of Rutgers University and what
they found is when you’re making eye contact
with someone and you want to be remembered,
I think this works well with men and women
is basically as you’re turning your head,
continue to make eye contact for as long as you can
And I think women are really good with this, but,
guys,this is may shown clearly
to make you more memorable. Now,
Now，this next tip is almost more
of a warning and that is to be careful of people in authority
you giving them too much eye contact.
Maybe your boss, you’re talking with them,
you’re listening to them, you’re wanting to show you’re attentive,
make sure that you’re not overdoing it with that eye contact.
Now, let’s talk about when to make eye contact.
It’s important you make the eye contact
at the very beginning of the conversation.
You want to make it early
on and then you can start to look over somewhere else to break it up.
The next tip.
Be fair with the distribution of your eye contact.
It’s difficult at times especially when someone is talking
and you’re wanting to give them most of your attention
and when you’re talking to a big crowd, again,
scan the room, don’t get focused in on one particular area,
make sure that you give the people on
the edges some eye contact and you look over this way as well.
Now，this next tip is
for you travelers out there and when you go to a new country, understand
that it’s not just about the culture change,
but there are also maybe a different dominant
religion and definitely the eye contact rules could be very different from your home country.
Now, as a foreigner out of times
we get some of the free pass, but this something you can still affend people.
You can make people uncomfortable, you can make people upset,
and you’re going to be way ahead of most people
if you understand these basic rules.
So, do your homework and show up prepared.
所以 做好功课 表现出做了准备的样子
So, now let’s talk about the eye contact rules between men and women
and the first rule here is that just because she’s looking at you,
does not mean she’s interested.
You need to look at the environment.
Are you at work?
It could be she’s looking at you
because she simply wants to engage and ask you a question
and you happen to be running that department.
Now, if you are in an environment
you know like you’re in a wedding,
you don’t know who this woman is and she’s checking you out,
it’s a very different situation.
So, you got to pay attention to the environment.
So, what are the eye contact indicators
that the woman is interested in you?
First up, look for the fact that she’s making eye contact.
Women oftentimes are going to try to initiate eye contact
with somebody that they like multiple times
before the guy picks up on it and catches and looks their way.
Then, when you make eye contact,
she’s going to maintain for about two to three seconds
and then look away and this could happen multiple times.
The third thing you’re looking for for is a smile or some indicator that she’s happy
to have made the eye contact.
At this point, guys,
it’s up to you, walk across and introduce yourself. Now,
Now, the next tip i want to stress is just because
a woman doesn’t make eye contact with you
does not mean that she doesn’t like you.
It could be someone
that she is used to actually when she does make eye contact, men are overly aggressive,
so you find
that oftentimes women are going to be more shy when it comes to eye contact
especially with someone they don’t know very well.
So what to do when you make eye contact with a woman?
那么 在和女人进行眼神交流时 我们应该做什么？
Simply show that, hey, you’re a nice person.
简单的微笑 然后说 嗨 你真漂亮
That’s all you’re looking to do.
I mean this is something I think more men could do
because I know I still fall into the trap of kind of looking away,
just something I feel awkward,
but, guys, practice looking at people and smiling and,
但是 各位 不断练习看着别人并向他微笑
yes, you could smile at other men too.
Now, this next tip it needs to be said,
but guys when you’re speaking to a woman, look
但是 各位 当你在和一个女人聊天
her in the eyes.
Don’t stare down at her chest.
There are ways that you can condition yourself.
You can train yourself not to stare.
So,the first thing I recommend is actually looking at a woman in the eyes
and trying to figure out what color of eye color she has.
This is a great thing to know.
When you could actually remember somebody’s eyes,
you’re ahead of most guys.
Next up, let’s talk about sticky eyes.
And this is when you’re talking
with someone and you let your eyes linger just a bit longer,
that shows you’re very much interested
in them that you’re very attracted to them.
And this is a great technique to use
when you’re talking to a woman
and you’re having to go away,
but you keep maintaining that eye contact
and give them a smile.
That right there, it’s very attractive to women.
So, we talked about where not to look
when you’re making eye contact,
but where should but where should you look?
The obvious answer is the eyes.
What you’re looking to do is the oval between both eyes.
You can go a little bit up on the forehead,
you can go maybe on the bridge of the nose,
but that oval is going to be the area
that you want to maintain eye contact with.
And, yes, you can go from eye to eye
if that’s easier for you.
Next up, let’s talk about blinking. So,
I’ve had it said to me
that I don’t blink enough, but understand that you can
blink too much.
You notice I’m blinking a lot there.
So, if you’re blinking more than thirty times in a minute,
that’s too much.
What you’re going for is about fifteen to ten blinks per minute. Now,
if you’re only blinking about five times
per minute, that – or less – that
actually comes off as just kind of weird.
People pick up on it and, yeah,
something – some people think you’re a robot, I’ve
had that said of me.
Other times, if you’re blinking too much,
it can come off as something is wrong.
So now, let’s get back to talking about those percentages
and remember I love to hear
from you guys down in the comments about that 50/70 rule
if it’s different in your country. But,
do those ever go up?
The answer is yes.
Whenever you are having a short conversation,
you can actually be looking at them more than
50 % of the time and you can be when
you’re listening to them having a short conversation,
looking at them the entire time.
As long as the conversation is short,
those percentages can go up quite a bit. Now,
this next tip is about the opposite thing.
Whenever you’re having a long conversation,
do you still need to maintain that 50-70?
The answer is no.
You don’t have to worry about that 50/70 rule,
those percentages can go down and you’ll
have the same effect.
So, this next tip may seem obvious,
but it can lead to big communication issues in the workforce
and that is when you got a young professional entering the work force
with no eye contact communication skills.
It’s imperative that if you’ve got bad skills here, guys,
that you strengthen them
because you may be working
with seasoned executives who got a lot of training and don’t have
much patience for someone that doesn’t look them in the eye.
They assumed distrust when simply you know your job,
you know what you’re going to
do and you’ve got to make sure
that you get these skills up to speed.
What do you guys think some pretty good tips?
Did you learn something new?
Let me know down in the comments what your favorite tip or trick was.
And if you want more, check out this video,
21 Tips to Speak So People Listens.
So, when you get up there on stage or
if you’re just giving a presentation at work, public
speaking is the number one fear.
And if you want more, guys,
I am linking to Real Men Real Style down in the description.
我在简介区留下了Real Men Real Style的链接
That’s my website.
I’ve got a free app there, I’ve got a podcast.
I’ve got tons – I’ve got free courses.
I’ve got premium courses.
Whatever you want, pretty much when it comes to style,
I pretty much got it there. So,
guys, go check it all out.
I’m linking to it down in the description.
All right, gentlemen.
I’ll see you in the next video.
I read the comments.
I know whenever I do a video with somebody else,
the way that I stare at them, these
things crack me up.
They were like, I wish I had someone in my life
that’s stared at me like Antonio stares
at Jeremy or stares at Aaron or stares
at all these other people I do these videos with.
You guys are always saying like Antonio just stares at them so intently,
it’s like he’s in love.
So are you familiar with the 50/70 rule?