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别盯着人家看!给男士的21条眼神接触法则 – 译学馆
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别盯着人家看!给男士的21条眼神接触法则

Don't Stare! 21 Eye Contact Rules For Men (Attraction, Non-Awkward, Authority, Confidence)

So are you familiar with the 50/70 rule?
你是否熟悉这50/70法则呢?
It goes like this.
它是这样运作的
When you’re speaking to somebody, 50 % of the time,
当你和别人说话时 有一半的时间时间
you want to be making eye contact.
你想要进行眼神交流
Whenever you’re listening to somebody,
而每当你聆听别人说话时
70 % of the time you want to be making eye contact.
70%的时间你想要有眼神交流
Is it perfect?
这样完美吗?
No. But,
不完美 但是
it’s a guide.
这是一个方向
Today’s video, gentles,
先生们 今天的视频
I’m giving you twenty one tips
我将会给你21条建议
so that you could level up your eye contact skills.
这样你就能提高眼神交流技巧
Tip number one. Know where you stand.
建议一 知道自己的目的
You want to get feedback from somebody that you trust,
你想从你信任的人那里得到反馈
maybe work with a coach, but you
也许是和你一起工作的教练
want to know are you making too much
但你想知道你的眼神交流
eye contact or are you making not enough?
是过多还是过少?
If you’re not making enough eye contact,
如果你没有足够的眼神交流
you will come off as weak someone’s that’s
你会给人留下软弱的印象
a pushover someone that people don’t take seriously.
一个软弱的人 人们不会重视
If you make too much eye contact,
如果你有太多眼神交流
all of a sudden you come off as being overly aggressive.
你会突然间表现的过于咄咄逼人
Tip number two.
建议二
Know how long to maintain eye contact.
知道保持眼神交流的合适时间
On average, you’re looking for about three seconds. So,
平均来说 你期望可以有三秒钟的眼神交流 所以
when you’re looking and talking with someone,
当你正在和某人说话和对视时
be thinking one one thousand, two
脑海中想着一秒
one thousand, three one thousand and then,
两秒 三秒 然后
you can safely look away for a second maybe
你可以放心地转移目光一秒钟
nod your head like you’re listening,
也可以点头表示你正在听
but about three seconds is perfect.
不过三秒钟就足够了
Now, this next tip is
建议三是
about you having impact when you’re speaking to a group of people.
当你对一群人演讲时 你想变得有影响力
You want to look people in the eye,
你要看着别人的眼睛
so that they remember what you say.
这样他们才能记住你说的话
This is based off of 2006 study out of the University of Sterling.
这是基于斯特林大学2006年的研究
What they found is that if you go around and you’re making eye contact,
他们发现 如果你四处走动并且进行眼神交流
when you’re talking to people about something that’s important
当你和人们谈论某些重要的事情时
that you want them to remember by making that eye contact,
并且你想要通过眼神交流让他们记住你说的话
they are much more likely to remember the words coming out of your mouth. Now,
他们将更有可能记住你说的话 下面
this next tip is a bit
建议四
of an interrogation secret and it comes out of Tufts University
来自塔夫茨大学的有关于审训的秘密
and what they discovered is that when you give people long eye contact,
他们发现 当你和别人长时间进行眼神交流时
we’re talking five,
我们数五秒
eight, ten seconds and they know they’re being looked at,
八秒 十秒时 他们知道自己正在被注视着
they are more likely to be
他们更有可能
truthful when they’re speaking to you. So,
在和你说话时更加真实
you want to get the truth out of somebody,
你想要从某人身上得到真相
just keep looking at them, and, boom, that
只要一直注视着他们然后
truth is going to come out. ,
真相就会浮出水面了
Now,this next tip is all about being remembered.
建议五 一切都是为了被记住
It comes out of Rutgers University and what
这是罗格斯大学提出的结论
they found is when you’re making eye contact
他们发现当你在跟别人进行眼神交流时
with someone and you want to be remembered,
你想要被别人记住
I think this works well with men and women
我觉得这对男人跟女人都很有效
is basically as you’re turning your head,
基本上就是你转过你的头来
continue to make eye contact for as long as you can
要尽可能长时间的保持眼神交流
And I think women are really good with this, but,
并且我觉得女性更加擅长这个 但是
guys,this is may shown clearly
伙计们 这可能会让你
to make you more memorable. Now,
更加难忘
Now,this next tip is almost more
建议六更多是一个警告
of a warning and that is to be careful of people in authority
就是要避免和权威人士
you giving them too much eye contact.
有太多的眼神交流
Maybe your boss, you’re talking with them,
也许正在和你的老板谈话
you’re listening to them, you’re wanting to show you’re attentive,
听他们发言 或许你想展现你在集中注意力
make sure that you’re not overdoing it with that eye contact.
确保不要过度地进行眼神交流
Now, let’s talk about when to make eye contact.
接下来 让我们谈论一下何时进行眼神交流
It’s important you make the eye contact
进行眼神交流很重要
at the very beginning of the conversation.
尤其在刚开始谈话的时候
You want to make it early
你可以尽早这么做
on and then you can start to look over somewhere else to break it up.
然后通过察看其他的地方 来结束眼神交流
The next tip.
第七条建议
Be fair with the distribution of your eye contact.
如果你想要公平的与每个人都进行眼神交流
It’s difficult at times especially when someone is talking
这很难 尤其当别人正在交谈
and you’re wanting to give them most of your attention
然后你想最大可能给予他们你的注意力
and when you’re talking to a big crowd, again,
当你再次与一大群人说话
scan the room, don’t get focused in on one particular area,
扫视整个房间 不要将目光集中在某个特殊的区域
make sure that you give the people on
与角落的人进行眼神交流
the edges some eye contact and you look over this way as well.
确保你也关注着这边
Now,this next tip is
接下来 第八条建议
for you travelers out there and when you go to a new country, understand
当你旅行去了一个新国家时
that it’s not just about the culture change,
不仅仅是关乎文化变化
but there are also maybe a different dominant
而且还有可能有不同的宗教信仰
religion and definitely the eye contact rules could be very different from your home country.
当然眼神交流规则可能与你的国家相差很大
Now, as a foreigner out of times
如今 作为一名外国人
we get some of the free pass, but this something you can still affend people.
你可以得到谅解 但你仍会吓到别人
You can make people uncomfortable, you can make people upset,
你可能会使别人不舒服 会让别人感到不安
and you’re going to be way ahead of most people
但是 如果你理解了这些基本规则的话
if you understand these basic rules.
你将远远领先于大多数人
So, do your homework and show up prepared.
所以 做好功课 表现出做了准备的样子
So, now let’s talk about the eye contact rules between men and women
现在 我们来讨论男女间的眼神交流法则
and the first rule here is that just because she’s looking at you,
第一条规则是 如果她仅仅只是看着你
does not mean she’s interested.
这并不意味着她对你感兴趣
You need to look at the environment.
你需要观察周围的环境
Are you at work?
你在工作吗?
It could be she’s looking at you
可能她看你
because she simply wants to engage and ask you a question
只是因为她想参与进来并询问你一些问题
and you happen to be running that department.
而你恰好是那个部门的负责人
Now, if you are in an environment
如果你处于这种环境中
you know like you’re in a wedding,
这就像在婚礼上一样
you don’t know who this woman is and she’s checking you out,
你并不认识某个女人 但她却一直打量着你
it’s a very different situation.
这又是不一样的情况了
So, you got to pay attention to the environment.
所以你得注意所处环境
So, what are the eye contact indicators
眼神交流暗示了什么?
that the woman is interested in you?
是那位女士对你感兴趣吗?
First up, look for the fact that she’s making eye contact.
首先 请确认她是在和你进行眼神交流
Women oftentimes are going to try to initiate eye contact
女人们时常会尝试和她们喜欢的人
with somebody that they like multiple times
进行多次眼神交流
before the guy picks up on it and catches and looks their way.
在男人注意到并回望回去之前
Then, when you make eye contact,
当你进行眼神交流时
she’s going to maintain for about two to three seconds
她打算保持两秒或者三秒
and then look away and this could happen multiple times.
然后她会转移视线 如此重复多次
The third thing you’re looking for for is a smile or some indicator that she’s happy
第三就是 看看她有没有微笑或其他迹象
to have made the eye contact.
表明她乐意进行眼神交流的迹象
At this point, guys,
在这点上 朋友
it’s up to you, walk across and introduce yourself. Now,
这取决于你 走过去并和她认识吧
Now, the next tip i want to stress is just because
下一点我想强调的是
a woman doesn’t make eye contact with you
一个女人不和你进行眼神交流
does not mean that she doesn’t like you.
这并不意味着她不喜欢你
It could be someone
也许是因为她曾碰到过一些男人
that she is used to actually when she does make eye contact, men are overly aggressive,
当她和他对视时 男人表现得太有侵略性
so you find
所以你发现
that oftentimes women are going to be more shy when it comes to eye contact
当进行眼神交流时 女人们时常会表现的更为腼腆
especially with someone they don’t know very well.
尤其是和她们不熟的人
So what to do when you make eye contact with a woman?
那么 在和女人进行眼神交流时 我们应该做什么?
Smile.
微笑
Simply show that, hey, you’re a nice person.
简单的微笑 然后说 嗨 你真漂亮
That’s all you’re looking to do.
这就是她们希望你做的
I mean this is something I think more men could do
我想说 这是一件大多数男人都能做的事
because I know I still fall into the trap of kind of looking away,
虽然知道这点 但我有时还是不敢直视
just something I feel awkward,
尤其是我觉得尴尬时
but, guys, practice looking at people and smiling and,
但是 各位 不断练习看着别人并向他微笑
yes, you could smile at other men too.
你也可以向另一个男的微笑
Now, this next tip it needs to be said,
第九条建议非常有必要说
but guys when you’re speaking to a woman, look
但是 各位 当你在和一个女人聊天
her in the eyes.
看着她的眼睛
Don’t stare down at her chest.
千万不要向下看她的胸
There are ways that you can condition yourself.
这里有一些方法可以帮助你改变自己
You can train yourself not to stare.
你可以训练自己不要去看
So,the first thing I recommend is actually looking at a woman in the eyes
首先我建议 可以注视着这个女人的眼睛
and trying to figure out what color of eye color she has.
尝试着观察她眼睛的颜色
This is a great thing to know.
这一点非常重要
When you could actually remember somebody’s eyes,
当你能真正地记住一个人的眼睛
you’re ahead of most guys.
你就领先于大多数人了
Next up, let’s talk about sticky eyes.
接下来 我们来谈一下魅力眼神
And this is when you’re talking
就是当你与某人交谈的时候
with someone and you let your eyes linger just a bit longer,
让眼睛停留稍长一段时间
that shows you’re very much interested
显示出你对他们非常感兴趣
in them that you’re very attracted to them.
你被他们迷倒了
And this is a great technique to use
这是一个值得学习的高超技巧
when you’re talking to a woman
当你正与女人聊天
and you’re having to go away,
却得离开的时候
but you keep maintaining that eye contact
你一直维持着眼神交流
and give them a smile.
并对她一笑
That right there, it’s very attractive to women.
棒极了!这对女人来说是很有魅力的
So, we talked about where not to look
因此我们说 眼神交流时
when you’re making eye contact,
你不应该看哪里
but where should but where should you look?
而你应该看哪里呢?
The obvious answer is the eyes.
很显然 是眼睛
What you’re looking to do is the oval between both eyes.
你看着的是双眼之前的椭圆形区域
You can go a little bit up on the forehead,
你可以移开一点 看着前额
you can go maybe on the bridge of the nose,
你也可以看着鼻梁
but that oval is going to be the area
但是这个椭圆形就成了
that you want to maintain eye contact with.
你想要维持眼神交流的区域了
And, yes, you can go from eye to eye
当然 如果你觉得方便的话
if that’s easier for you.
你也可以从一只眼看到另一只
Next up, let’s talk about blinking. So,
接下来 我们讨论一下眨眼
I’ve had it said to me
我曾经告诉自己
that I don’t blink enough, but understand that you can
眨眼次数太少了 但是理解之后
blink too much.
又眨眼太多次
You notice I’m blinking a lot there.
看我现在就眨了很多次 所以说
So, if you’re blinking more than thirty times in a minute,
如果你在一分钟内眨眼超过30次
that’s too much.
那就太多了
What you’re going for is about fifteen to ten blinks per minute. Now,
你可以每分钟眨10-15次眼
if you’re only blinking about five times
现在如果你每分钟只眨五次眼
per minute, that – or less – that
或者更少
actually comes off as just kind of weird.
事实上 这有些不可思议
People pick up on it and, yeah,
人们会注意到这件事
something – some people think you’re a robot, I’ve
别人会觉得你像个机器人
had that said of me.
我已经听说过别人这么评价我
Other times, if you’re blinking too much,
其他时候 如果你眨眼过多
it can come off as something is wrong.
会让人觉得你有问题
So now, let’s get back to talking about those percentages
现在 我们继续讨论百分比
and remember I love to hear
记住在下方进行评论
from you guys down in the comments about that 50/70 rule
如果你们国家的情况不同
if it’s different in your country. But,
我很想看到你们对五七法则的评论
do those ever go up?
但 百分比会上升吗?
The answer is yes.
当然会上升
Whenever you are having a short conversation,
无论何时 当你们简短对话时
you can actually be looking at them more than
实际上你有超过50%的时间
50 % of the time and you can be when
在看他们
you’re listening to them having a short conversation,
当你在听别人进行短对话时
looking at them the entire time.
你会一直看着他们
As long as the conversation is short,
只要谈话时间短
those percentages can go up quite a bit. Now,
百分比就会大幅上升
this next tip is about the opposite thing.
下一个技巧是与其相反的
Whenever you’re having a long conversation,
无论何时 你进行一个长的对话
do you still need to maintain that 50-70?
你都需要遵循五七法则吗
The answer is no.
当然不是
You don’t have to worry about that 50/70 rule,
你不需要考虑五七法则
those percentages can go down and you’ll
这些概率会下降的
have the same effect.
并且你会得到同样的效果
So, this next tip may seem obvious,
所以下个建议是显而易见的
but it can lead to big communication issues in the workforce
当一个无眼神交流技巧的年轻专业人士加入工作队伍时
and that is when you got a young professional entering the work force
可能会导致员工间的沟通
with no eye contact communication skills.
出现大问题
It’s imperative that if you’ve got bad skills here, guys,
各位 如果你们没有掌握好的技能
that you strengthen them
那你们必须加强这些技能
because you may be working
因为你们可能
with seasoned executives who got a lot of training and don’t have
与受过训练经验丰富的高管一起工作
much patience for someone that doesn’t look them in the eye.
高管对看不懂他们眼神的人没有太多的耐心
They assumed distrust when simply you know your job,
他们怀疑 在工作时
you know what you’re going to
你是否知道你该做什么
do and you’ve got to make sure
你能否确保你的技能
that you get these skills up to speed.
可以让你跟上工作进度
What do you guys think some pretty good tips?
你们有什么好的建议吗?
Did you learn something new?
学到什么新的东西了吗?
Let me know down in the comments what your favorite tip or trick was.
在评论里告诉我你最喜欢的建议或技巧
And if you want more, check out this video,
如果你想知道更多 请看这段视频
21 Tips to Speak So People Listens.
让别人倾听你说话的21招
So, when you get up there on stage or
当你需要上台演讲
if you’re just giving a presentation at work, public
或者害怕演讲
speaking is the number one fear.
那就看看这个视频吧
And if you want more, guys,
各位 如果你们还想知道更多
I am linking to Real Men Real Style down in the description.
我在简介区留下了Real Men Real Style的链接
That’s my website.
这是我的网站
I’ve got a free app there, I’ve got a podcast.
这有个免费的APP 有一个播客
I’ve got tons – I’ve got free courses.
上面有免费的教学课程
I’ve got premium courses.
我有许多优质的课程
Whatever you want, pretty much when it comes to style,
无论你想知道什么 它的覆盖面很广
I pretty much got it there. So,
差不多就这样
guys, go check it all out.
你们可以去看一下
I’m linking to it down in the description.
我把链接贴在了简介里
All right, gentlemen.
好了 先生们
That’s it.
就是这些了
Take care.
保重
I’ll see you in the next video.
我将会在下一个视频中和你们见面
I read the comments.
我会看评论的
I know whenever I do a video with somebody else,
我知道每次我跟别人拍视频时
the way that I stare at them, these
我看着他们时
things crack me up.
都会让我崩溃
They were like, I wish I had someone in my life
我希望一生中有个人看着我
that’s stared at me like Antonio stares
就像Antonio看着Jeremy
at Jeremy or stares at Aaron or stares
或者看着Aaron
at all these other people I do these videos with.
或者看着与我拍视频的其他人
You guys are always saying like Antonio just stares at them so intently,
你们总说Antonio像这样盯着你们看
it’s like he’s in love.
他就像 恋爱了

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给男士的21条眼神接触法则

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收集自网络

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfVc6Dv_jB0

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