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I once asked a seemingly confident man what his biggest insecurity or fear was.
让我吃惊的是 他马上回答说 陷入爱情
To my surprise, he answered falling in love right now.
他说 他害怕爱 因为他第一优先任务就是 保持一个
He said he feared love
because his number-one priority was to maintain aconcentrated mentality
focused to better himself academically career-wise and altogether.
总之 你可能会说 这是不爱的借口 但是新的研究
You may say this is an excuse to not fall in love
but new research indicates that this man’s reasoning might actually be accurate.
A study was conducted by researcher Hank Van Steenburgen along with colleagues from
leading University and the University of Maryland
他们处于新恋情 意味着6个月或少于6个月 要求他们表现特定的
on 43 participants who were in new relationships, meaning six months or less.
任务 比如隔离相关和不相关信息 结果
They were asked to perform specific tasks such as separating relevant and irrelevant information.
The results the participants ability to concentrate and form tasks were not present.
Steenburgen shared in his study: high levels of passionate love of individuals
in the early stage of a romantic relationship are associated with reduced cognitive control.
Also adding: it could be that the obsessive nature of passionate love
加强重要的 在任务中表现很好的 需要
imposes important constants on performing well in tasks that require self-control.
Rae Padilla Francoeur, author of the book Free Fall: A Late-In-Life Love Affair
felt extremely head-over-heels for her current mate
regardless of how emotionally ecstatic she was,
她健康一个可怕的份额 她注意的 变成轻头脑发热的减肥
the newfound love took a terrible toll on her health.
She noted becoming lightheaded, losing weight
not being able to fall asleep for days or being able to concentrate her eat.
I was happier than ever emotionally even though I couldn’t eat and felt shaky all the time, called Francoeur.
Francoeur lost 15 pounds almost immediately and her friends were concerned.
One of her friends recalls her saying during an outing at lunch,
再一次外出午餐 她点了菜单上的所有菜 我不会
she’s ordering everything on the menu and I won’t have anything because I can’t even swallow.
Psychologist Dorothy Kenneth called this “limerence”,
the obsessive intrusive and all-consuming state we’re in,
where we justify letting work, friends, responsibilities even ourselves slide
so we can satisfy our overly enthusiastic need for our new partner.
Jennifer Nelson of today.com says
you lose your concentration, you may think very clearly
but you can’t think about anything but him or her.
It’s the dopamine that gives you that obsessive focus.
Romantic love is just an obsession,
you’re focused just not on work or your to-do list.
Have you ever found yourself in love and incapable of concentrating on other responsibilities?
Or would you say you have the capability of balancing out everything very well?
Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
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