There’s no doubt that being social, being cooperative,
毫无疑问 会社交 易合作
being what some people have called ultra cooperative
或是能够实现所谓的超合作
is in many ways our super power.
都是我们强大能力的体现
When those relationships are ruptured in some way
当一个人因为某些事伤害了另一个人时
due to perhaps one person causing harm to another,
就会导致他们的关系破裂
it’s really important that we are able to repair those relationships.
我们能修复这些关系是很重要的
Forgiveness is a really critical part of that repair.
原谅是这种修复中的关键一环
Social ties are the basis of every community on earth.
社会关系是地球上每个社会团体的基本
But those relationships are also fragile.
不过这些关系也很脆弱
So how do we repair them when they’re strained or broken?
当社会关系紧张或受损时 我们该如何修复？
原谅的技巧
Philosophy and religion have espoused the virtues of forgiveness for millennia.
几千年来 哲学和宗教都在宣传原谅的美德
But the scientific study of forgiveness is fairly new.
但是关于原谅的研究却还是门新科学
My name is Amrisha Vaish and I study
我叫Amrisha Vaish 我正研究
how children behave cooperatively towards others
孩子们是如何与他人合作的
and learn to be moral individuals.
如何学习成为一个有道德的人
Causing harm, apologizing, showing remorse
造成伤害 学会道歉 表示后悔
feeling concerned for someone who’s been harmed,
并关心受伤害的人
all of those are things that children pay attention to
所有这些 早在孩子们一岁时
very early on, really in the first year already.
就已经意识到了
And I think that tells us something about who we are as a species.
这也告诉了我们 作为人类的一些特点
Amrisha’s research involves observing different interactions between a transgressor,
Amrisha的研究包括观察 在不同的侵犯者
someone who does something hurtful,
即实施侵害行为的人
and a victim, the person hurt by the transgressor.
和各种受侵者即受到伤害的人 之间的互动
By observing these interactions,
通过观察这些互动
she has been able to see what actually matters
她能看到 孩子们在择友和合作时
to children when they choose their friends and collaborators
什么才是他们选择的重要依据
and how we as adults could re-examine our priorities
以及我们成年人 在维系社交关系时
when it comes to maintaining these social ties.
是如何重新界定优先级的
In one study, two experimenters and one child, all drew pictures
有这样一个实验 让两个实验者和一个小孩画画
then the experimenters ripped the child’s drawing.
然后实验者们撕毁了孩子的画
And one of the transgressors now shows remorse to the child.
一个侵害者对孩子表示 懊悔
So she says, Oh, I’ve torn your picture.
她说“噢 我撕了你的画”
I didn’t mean to do that. It’s my fault.
“我不想的 是我错了”
And the other transgressor is neutral.
而另个侵害者表现平淡
So she says, Oh, I’ve torn your picture, Oh well.
她说“噢 好吧 我撕了你的画”
So what we now do is ask whom they prefer.
我们问孩子 你喜欢哪个人？
Then what we found is that by five years of age
我们发现 5岁大的孩子明确表示
children clearly preferred the one who had shown remorse.
喜欢那个有懊悔表现的
By apologizing to the child,
通过向孩子道歉
the transgressor demonstrated a commitment
侵害者表现出她想
to maintaining their positive relationship.
维护她们之间的积极关系
That made the child want to maintain it too.
这使孩子也希望如此
But in real life, our interactions always
但现实生活 我们的互动
have more background context.
有着更复杂的背景
Such as where we grew up,
比如 我们在哪长大
where we went to school and what social groups we align ourselves with.
我们在哪上学 我们所处的社交圈
So how do our group identities affect
那么群体认知会如何
our ability to choose who we associate with?
影响我们选择和谁交往的权利呢？
– [Amrisha] In a more recent study,
– [Amrisha] 另一个最新的研究
we placed children in a group.
我们将孩子们分了组
Either a yellow group or a green group.
黄色和绿色两组
And then the two experimenters who came in,
然后两个实验者进来
one of them was in the same group as the child.
其中一个分在内群体 和孩子们一起
And the second experimenter was the out group member.
另一个分在外群体
And so we had now same thing, everyone drew a picture
然后进行同样实验 每个人都在画画
and both individuals accidentally tore the child’s picture.
然后两个实验者都突然撕了孩子的画
And this time both of them showed remorse.
这次 两个大人都表示懊悔
And what we found is that, even though both
我们发现 尽管
of them had shown remorse,
两者都表示懊悔
children very clearly preferred the in group individual.
孩子很明确地更喜欢在内群体的大人
– [Man] By the age of five,
– [男] 5岁的孩子
children have already developed biases
已经有了关于团体
for their group, their community.
社群的偏好
But do children just prefer their own group
那是否同组的人不论做什么
no matter how they treat them?
他们都更喜欢呢？
– [Amrisha] And so to follow up on this, we had same setup
– [Amrisha] 为了测试这个 我们设置同样的条件
but now the in group member did not show remorse.
但这次 内群体的那位并没有道歉
But the out group member did show remorse.
但是外群体的道歉了
And so even though she’s in the outgroup
尽管她在外群体
she’s showing this kind of commitment to the child.
她仍向孩子表达了歉意
– [Man] Amrisha’s team found
– [Man]Amrisha的团队发现
that children consistently prefer
在这种情况下 孩子们
the transgressor who showed remorse in this scenario
仍旧更喜欢道歉的侵害者
in spite of their different group identity.
尽管他们属于不同团体
– [Amrisha] And so here we see, what they really care about
– [Amrisha] 从这我们知道 孩子真正关心的
is that the transgressor shows their commitment
是侵害者对他们和他们间的关系
to them, to the relationship.
是否有歉意
And they will seek that person out over even an in group member.
道歉比内群体成员这一因素 更影响孩子们的选择
– [Man] When we apologize to someone outside of our group,
– [男] 当我们向自己群体外的人道歉时
we signal to them that we recognize their humanity and
我们向他们表示 我们知道他们是善良的
that we want to treat them well,
无论他们是哪个群体
regardless of what group they’re in.
我们都想和他们友善相处
We’re also acknowledging that a relationship
我们承认 和他们之间的关系
with them could be valuable to us.
对我们很重要
Being in different groups
即使在不同的群体中
doesn’t have to define how we interact.
也不会限制我们互动
And when we forgive an individual from another group,
当我们原谅另一个群体的某个人时
we’re allowing them to try and bridge that gap too.
也是在允许他们尝试去缩小我们之间的距离
The more often we can practice these skills the greater chance we have of building trust
我们越是练习道歉的技巧 就越有可能
and relationships between groups that may seem vastly different.
在截然不同的群体间建立信任关系
– [Amrisha] We humans are such a super social species.
– [Amrisha] 我们人类是一种社交性物种
We really rely on each other to succeed,
无论是个体还是群体
to achieve what we want to achieve both
我们都依赖彼此而取得成功
as individuals and as a community.
实现自己的目标
To do that it’s really vital that we
要获得成功 达成目标 我们就要
maintain and sustain our corporative relationships.
保持和维系合作关系 这很重要
We wouldn’t survive without them, absolutely.
没有它 我们绝对无法生存
To learn more about challenging ideas
了解更多新奇观点
like this, visit us at templeton.org/bigquestions.
请访问屏幕下方网址