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情感依赖:当爱成为一切 – 译学馆
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情感依赖:当爱成为一切

Codependency: When Relationships Become Everything

[开始音]
[INTRO ♪]
在任何健康的关系中
In any healthy relationship,
不管是跟朋友或是伴侣的关系
whether it ’ s with a friend or a partner,
你应该能够依赖另一个人
you should be able to depend on the otherperson. Hopefully,
你可以期待他们履行诺言
you can count on them to keep theirpromises,
或是当你心情不好时听你发泄
or listen to you vent if you’ve had a toughday.
但是有时候 人们可能会太过依赖彼此
But sometimes, people can become too dependenton each other.
一个人可能
One person can start relying on another
为了满足情感健康 甚至身份
for all of their emotional health,
而依赖别人
and even identity.
这就有了依赖共生关系
And that’s where codependency comes in.
这个词在通俗心理学界被多次提到
It’s a word thrown around a lot in pop psychology,
而且并没有一个临床定义
and it doesn’t have a clinical definition.
但是用它来表示人际关系时 就是不健康的关系了
But when it comes to relationships, it’snot healthy—
即使好莱坞可能会把这种关系浪漫化
even if Hollywood might romanticize it.
依赖共生这个词是20世纪80年代第一次使用
The term codependency was first used in the1980s,
大多是被类似匿名戒酒协会和成瘾咨询师协会所使用
mostly by organizations like Alcoholics Anonymousand addiction counselors.
本来这个词描述了一种
It was supposedly a condition that comes from being close
与对抗酒瘾的人关系密切的状态
with someone who struggles with alcohol addiction.
相关概念是
The idea was
基本上 当依赖共生关系中的人最后意识到他们有问题并改变生活方式时
that a codependent person ends up supporting their loved ones
他们就会选择支持所爱之人
so that they never hit rock bottom,
以便关系不会陷入低谷
basically when they finally realize they have a problem and change their lives.
通过这样做 共生的人大概也会
And in doing so, the codependent person supposedly
患上酒瘾 而不会起到帮助作用
enabled the addiction instead of helping.
但是没有一项研究支持这个想法
But there’s no research supporting thisidea.
抛弃那些戒瘾者通常会给他们带来更大的伤害
And abandoning someone who’s strugglingusually causes more harm.
实际上 给很多事情贴上依赖共生的标签
In fact, many things that were labeled codependent,
比如提供治疗或更安全的逐渐戒瘾方式
like providing treatment or safer ways togradually fight an addiction,
这些事情常常是有帮助的
are often really helpful.
当前 心理学家和咨询师们主要是用依赖共生
These days, psychologists and counselors mainlyuse codependency
来代指一系列可见的情绪活动和依恋
to refer to a set of observed emotional behaviorsand attachments.
为了把它与传统的错误的关于上瘾的想法相区分
And to separate it from the old, false ideasabout addiction,
他们会有时把它称作关系依赖
they’ll sometimes call it relationship dependency,
情感依赖 甚至是爱情痴迷
emotional dependency, or even obsessive love.
在依赖共生关系中 一个人因情感需要
In a codependent relationship, one personis dependent on the other
依赖另一个人 如果没有了伴侣或密友
for their emotional needs, and they don’tfeel “complete”
他们会感觉“不完整”
without their romantic partner or best friend.
一些心理学家认为依赖共生可能受到
Some psychologists think codependency mightbe influenced by
个性或童年创伤所影响
things like personality or a traumatic eventin someone’s childhood,
比如与抚养者关系破裂
like if they have a broken relationship witha caregiver.
但是这也是临床不能够诊断出来的
But it’s also not something you can be clinicallydiagnosed with.
情绪共生可以通过调查来测量
Emotional dependency can be measured withsurveys
比如爱情态度量表 这是20世纪90年代晚期
like the Love Attitudes Scale, which was developedby psychologists
由一名心理学家发明 可用来帮助测量一个人对人际关系的感觉
in the late 1990s to help determine someone’sfeelings about relationships.
这个问卷要求人们
The survey asks people to think
想一想他们的伴侣或假想伴侣
about their partner or hypothetical partner,
然后询问是否同意以下的说法
and then has them agree or disagree with statements like,
比如 “如果我的伴侣一段时间没有理我
“ If my partner ignores me for a while,
我有时会做蠢事来获得关注”
I sometimes do stupid things to get their attention back. ”
如果他们的分数到了一定范围 他们的行为可能就符合依赖共生了
If they score within a certain range, their behavior is most likely codependent. Now,
依赖共生或情感依赖与
codependency or emotional dependencyis different than
依赖型人格障碍(简称DPD)是不一样的
something called Dependent Personality Disorder,or DPD.
DPD要用DSM5来诊断
This is in the DSM-5,
这是最新版本的手册
the most recent version of the manual
临床心理学家用它诊断不同的病症
that clinical psychologists use to diagnosedifferent conditions.
依赖型人格障碍患者经常感到完全无力
People with DPD often feel totally powerless
好像他们没有能力自己照顾自己
and like they aren’t capable of caring forthemselves. Meanwhile,
同时 依赖共生的人
someone who ’ s codependent may
可能认为他们可以独立生活
think they can function independently just fine.
但是如果他们不处于亲密关系里
But if they aren ’ t in a close relationship,
他们可能感到孤单 情感上不满足
they might feel lonely and emotionally unsatisfied.
如果亲密关系结束了
And if a close relationship ends,
他们感到的悲伤往往比常人更强烈
they ’ ll often feel stronger
而且患抑郁症的风险
grief and have a higher risk of depression
也会更大
than the average person.
不仅如此 当关系在发展时
Not only that, but codependency is unhealthy
依赖共生也是不健康的
while a relationship is happening, too.
很多研究早已显示 依赖共生关系
Multiple studies have shown that codependentrelationships
与抑郁症 饮食障碍以及
are related to depression, eating disorders,
压力引起的健康问题密切相关
and health problems related to stress.
因为当一个人把自我价值连接到其他人身上
Because when someone links their self worthto other people,
他们可能需要
they may feel a need to
证明自我或过多牺牲
prove themselves or sacrifice too much
试图让某人开心
to try and make someone else happy.
被依赖的人也可能因
And the person being depended on can feelpressure to
维持这段关系 避免伤害朋友而感到压力
keep the relationship going, to avoid hurtingtheir friend.
因此这真的对任何人都不健康
So it really isn’t healthy for anyone.
很多研究也显示 依赖共生的人
Multiple researchers have also shown thatpeople who are codependent
更可能处于虐待关系里
are more likely to stay in abusive relationships.
他们甚至可能认为虐待是出于爱情
They may even think this abuse comes out oflove,
或者低自尊 坚信是自己应得的
or have such low self-esteem that they believethey deserve it.
而这很明显——绝不正确
Which—to be totally clear—is never true.
即使依赖共生不像依赖型人格障碍一样
Even though codependency doesn’t have aspot in the DSM,
需要用DSM来测量
like Dependent Personality Disorder does,
它也依然可以通过与治疗师谈话来进行治疗
it can still be treated by talking with atherapist.
专家可以帮助某人走出虐待关系或友谊
A professional can help someone get out ofan abusive relationship
或一起努力以更健康的方式
or friendship, or work with them to managetheir connections
管理关系或情绪
and feelings in a healthier way.
药物比如抗抑郁药同样可以对
And medicines like antidepressants can alsohelp with
依赖共生引发的抑郁症与焦虑症有帮助
the depression or anxiety that can go alongwith codependency.
因此 即便一些爱情电影或
So even though some romance movies or cheesy
别样秀恩爱的照片可能粉饰了“使你完整”的关系
#relationshipgoals graphics might glamorizerelationships
但这绝对是错的
that “complete you”… it’s definitelynot true. Now,
健康的 友爱的关系是非常重要的
healthy, loving relationships are important,
大量研究已经显示
and tons of studies have shown
如果我们被切断了与别人的联系
that we don ’ t do so well
说明我们做的并不好
if we’re cut off from other people.
但是一段关系永远不应成为定义一个人价值的标准
But one relationship should never define someone’svalue
或是情感健康的来源
or be the source of all their emotional health.
而大多数人并没有做到
That’s just not how people work.
多谢观看本期科学秀
Thanks for watching this episode of SciShow Psych,
特别是Patreon网站的赞助者对视频的赞助
especially to our patrons on Patreon, who make episodes like this possible.
如果你想支持本节目
If you ’ d like to support the show,
你可以去patreon.com/scishow
you can go to patreon.com/scishow.
[结束音]
[OUTRO ♪]

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译制信息
视频概述

依赖共生的定义 表现以及改善策略

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qy_2xDcjC1E

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