大家好 接下来是一个书评
Hey guys. This is going to be a book review.
但是你也会得到一些很棒的
But you’re also going to get some awesome tips on charismatic body language.
关于提升魅力型体语言的技巧
如何立即感知你想要感知到的情绪
How do you feel any emotion that you want to instantly.
以及视频最后如何赚到20美元
And how you can win $20 by the end of this vidio.
这本《掌控个人魅力》由Charlie Houpert所著
The book Charisma On Command was written by Charlie Houpert.
收录了很多有趣的故事
who has a very interesting story.
不过最近作者运营了同名youtube频道
but currently owns and runs the YouTube channel Charisma On Command.
上面还有他的个人魅力大学的课程可售
As well as the webside where he sells his Charisma university.
售价大约600美元
It’s like $600 in-depth course.
如果你对本视频或书感兴趣
And if you enjoy this vidio or his book, I highly suggest checking it out.
强烈推荐你去看看
在Charlie高中毕业后的一次投票中
Anyway, Charlie was voted most likely to break out of shell in college, when he graduated high school.
被认为是最有可能在大学不再害羞的人
但书里提到 那是无稽之谈
But it mentioned when he was in college, that didn’t actually happen.
实际上 转变发生在他
In fact, it only happened when he decided to go on a city of broad trip to Costa Rica.
决定出国 去哥斯达黎加的时候
他说在那里他意识到
He said it was there when he realized Charisma was like a muscle,
个人魅力就像是一块肌肉
有了正确的方法和不断的坚持
that could be developed and built overtime with the right routine and perseverance.
就能有巨大的提升
我也对此深信不疑
And I believe the same.
他在书中某章的开头说个人魅力是必需的
He search one chapter off from the book by setting that Charisma is needed.
在大学里你一定遇到过 你一个学习
You know your friend in college, who gets great grades even though the academic passion is subpar.
不那么好的朋友 却得到了不错的分数
或者是你的同事技能没你好
While that co-worker who isn’t technically as skilled as you.
却得到晋升的情况
But still gets the promotion.
甚至是某个高中就辍学的人
Or even a guy who droped out of high school,
却能和你的理想女友约会或结婚
yet manages to get a date with, eventually marriage your deam girl.
显而易见 裙带关系或者说偏见
The simple fact is that nepotism and favoritism still exist.
依然存在 并会一直存在下去
And always will.
你也可以说这不公平
You can say it isn’t fair all you want.
但试着去接受则会更容易些
But it’s a lot easier just to accept it,
试着去理解自己如何
and start understanding what it takes to get what the people we mentioned earlier had.
才能像刚刚提到的那些人一样
Charlie认为魅力是个等式
Charlie thinks Charisma is an equation.
我觉得这是个帮我们了解魅力的不错方法
And I think It’s great idea to help us understand what Charisma actually is.
严格来说 魅力就是个人内在想法和
See, technically Charisma is an outward expression of inward thoughts and thinking patterns.
思维模式的外在表现
它们细微 迅速 有时候你并不会察觉
Stuff so small and quick you can’t even notice.
比如说 别人眼睛斜视了25％
Like someone’s eyes squinting 25% more.
更长时间的眼神交流
Hold in eye contact for twice as long.
微微点头
The set of head nods, the positive energy boost you feel after being with them.
以及和这种人在一起时 你感受到的正能量
我们的大脑无法在对话中捕捉所有的信息
Our brain can’t process all of this information in a conversation so quickly.
它只传达给你 你欣赏这个人
So it just declares the state I like this person and I want be around them more.
想多跟他待一起的信息
同时让你觉得这个人很有个人魅力
Which push that person in your charismatic category.
Charlie说这个等式就是：
So, Charlie says that the equation is conviction+energy+presentation.
信念+精力+风度
第一个 信念
So the first one is conviction.
信念就是对自己观点的信心
Conviction is confidence in your beliefs.
比如说 乔布斯雇佣他的朋友约翰时
For example, the famous Steve Jobs was hiring one of his friends John Scholly.
乔布斯盯着他在百事工作的朋友 对他说
And in the process Steve looked his friend in the eye who is working at Pepsi that time and told him,
“你是想一辈子在这做糖水
“You wanna sell sugar for the rest of your life, or you wanna come work with me and change the world.”
还是和我一起改变世界？”
当时他的信念如此坚定
And the conviction that he had when he said that was so strong.
并且对自己的信念毫不动摇
And Steve had so much confidence in his own conviction that he got his friend to believe him too.
从而感染了他的朋友
那正是一个成功的领导者所做的
And that’s what successful leaders do.
也是为何历史上成功的领导者
And that’s why most of the successful leaders in history are also charismatic.
都如此有魅力的原因
关于信念
One important thing about conviction,
重要的一点就是 一个人对自己的关注
is that someone who with it carries more about their own character than the opinions of others.
必须超越外界对他的看法
当你经受外界压力时做到这个真的很难
That’s really difficult if you struggle with the pressure of others.
不过这可以在锻炼
But it could be overcome with practice and mental mind shift.
并获得精神层面的转变后克服
比如 Charlie提到他在考虑搬去南美
For example, Charlie mentions that he was thinking about moving to South America.
他所有的家人朋友都想方设法劝阻他
All of his friends and family were discouraging him and tell him why he shouldn’t do it.
不过最后他还是去了
But he win anyways, because he feel like he needed to it and it was his character to do so.
他觉得就是他的个性使然
因为当别人不希望你做某事时
This is because people don’t want you to do something,
并不代表如果你做了他们就会不尊重你
doesn’t think that they won’t respect you if you do it.
或者说你的个人魅力之路从此消沉
Or your charismatic path will go down the dream.
大多情况下 即使你选错了
In most case, you will be seen as even more charismatic in a long run.
但只要你做的是你真正想做的
也会使你显得更有魅力
As long as the thing you are doing is in line with your character.
等式的第二部分是精力
The second part of the equation is energy.
那么 精力是什么
So, what is energy.
个人魅力的形成需要很多因素
There are many things that make up charismatic attitude in presence.
首要的就是旺盛的精力
But the first is very high energy.
比如马金·路德·金或希特勒
Take a look at MLK or Hitler.
他们都精力旺盛
They both had high energy,
且不谈他们思想正确与否
他们确实领导了一批追随他们的人
to lead a large amount of people to follow their own ideas, whether for good or for bad.
还有一个关于奥普拉的著名片段
There’s an example of famous Oprah Sing.
她尖叫着：“你得到一辆车 你得到一辆车
Where she screams “you get a card, you get a card, you get a card, everybody gets a card.”
每个人都会得到一辆车”
在场所有人都被这种精力感染
The energy in that building was contagious and people love to be around it.
也非常喜欢这种氛围
有人把精力拆分成几个子项
Somebody break down energy into a couple of subcategory.
第一个是乐观积极
The first is positivity.
积极是精力的一部分
Positivity is another part of energy thing.
你可能会说希特勒一点都不乐观 你错了
Now you might be arguing Hitler wasn’t very positive and you’d be wrong.
尽管他的伦理思维过程可能和你不一样
While his ethical thought process might not agree with yours.
但他在领导时的确是乐观积极的
He very positive in leading these people.
比如 他不会带着失去全世界的想法去领导别人
For example, he didn’t lead with the thought his follower will going to lose the world.
而是赢得全世界
They will all going to win it.
而且完全坚信于此
And he believes it with all of his heart.
另外 从奥普拉那里获得免费车以及
On the other hand, the people who got a free card from Oprah saw her as pretty positive.
观看那个片段的观众
一定都觉得她很乐观积极
As well as the people who watched the episode, so positivity is important.
所以说乐观积极很重要
第二点 热心
The second thing is to be supportive.
Charlie在书中提到一点：
One thing Charlie hits pretty good on in his book,
朋友之间存在一种常见的误解：
is that there’s a common misconception among friends.
我们关系特好
We are so close.
可以随便开玩笑 打打骂骂也没关系
We can joke about anything by being rudes or castigating mean to each other.
他说这是在破坏关系
He says this ruins relationship.
那种对朋友的尖锐讽刺应该避免
And that biting sarcasm towards your friends should always be avoided.
我也对此深信不疑
And i believe this too. Behind every lie there’s a little bit of truth.
每个谎言背后都会影射出一个真理
当你说你朋友胖时 你是在给他贴标签
When you call you large friend fat, you are labelling him.
他也可能因此自嘲
And he might joke about it too.
但其实他的内心深处是非常抗拒的
But deep down it is really offensive on a psychological level.
不要对别人或朋友太刻薄 即使只是玩笑
Avoid being mean to people and your friends, even on a joking level.
这会大大改变你的魅力值
Just changing this can meet a lot on your Charisma Meter.
另外一个充满经历的要素是激情
Another very important part of energy is to be passionate.
Charlie说大家都很无聊
Charlie says people are bored.
他们觉得工作 吃饭
They are bored at work. They are bored when they go to lunch.
回家 看电视
They are bored when they come home. They are bored when they turn on the TV.
翻看社交媒体都很无聊
And bored when they scroll their social media.
给他们带去一点激情 感染他们
So give them something to be passionate about. It’s contagious.
只要你充满激情 他们就会看到并想加入
Just be passionate about something and long see it and want be part of it.
就像约翰看到乔布斯
Just like John Scholly saw Steve Jobs.
关于精力的最后一部分
The last part of energy section.
Charlie给了他的建议：选择任何情绪
Charlie gives an awesome tip to chose any emotion you want,
并用心感受它
and how to instantly feel that emotion.
我就不会给出这样的建议
Now I’m not gonna tell you this tip.
因为我不想破坏它
Because I don’t want ruin it and you probably wouldn’t try it anyways.
而且我觉得你也不会去试
书中还提到面部反馈假说的基础理论
Facial feedback hypothesis is the basic idia this tip though. I’ll explain it in a simple version.
我尽量用简洁的方式解释一下
在一个实验中
So there was a experiment.
科学家让两个人每人嘴里咬着一支铅笔
Where scientist give two people a pencil to hold in their mouth.
还有一个人用他非常用手写字
One to write with her none dominate hand.
他们告诉参与者 他们得用非常用手写字来使他们分心
They told participants they had to write with their none dominate hand to distract them.
但实际上科学家们关注的是其他东西
But in fact the scientist were actually looking for something else.
一组人用牙齿咬住铅笔 做出大笑状
One group held the pencil in their mouth with their teeth which caused them to smile.
另一组只能用嘴唇 而不能碰到牙齿
And the other group had to use only their lips, could not touch their teeth.
这样他们就不得不撅嘴
Which caused them to pucker.
他们写完后 就被要求离开
After they were done writing a little bit, they were told to leave.
并附带写下他们的感受
And write down on an accessory how they felt.
那些被要求用牙齿咬住铅笔
Those who were forced to smile with a pencil on their mouth,
从而露齿微笑的人会觉得更开心
我们就可以得出这样的结论：
found they were happier which leads us to the conclusion of body language,
肢体语言具有欺骗性致使你知行合一
being one of the things you can actually fake untill you make it.
我会给你一些肢体语言建议
I give you some body language tips to increase your Charisma a bit.
来提升你的个人魅力
不过先说一下风度
But let’s get on to the presentation part.
等式的最后一部分就是风度
So the last part of the equation is presentation.
书的这一部分主要讲有魅力的人
And this part of the book was dedicated towards,
如何关注对方 并让他们感到被尊重
how charismatic people give attention to other people and make them feel important.
书的这一部分有许多象征手法
There’s a lot of symbolism here from this part of the book to how to win friends and influence people.
关于如何交朋友 影响他人
这里是一些通过提升风度
Here is some tips to increase your Charisma by uping your presentation game.
来增加个人魅力的小建议
叫他们的名字 并记住
Use their name and remember it.
开点小玩笑 帮助他们增强自尊
Make jokes and favor of them to boost their own self esteem.
给他们真诚的非反应式赞美
Give them genuine Non-Reaction Seeking Compliments.
这点很重要
This is really important. Cause a lot of people give compliments.
很多人都会赞美别人
这样别人也会赞美你
So that the other person can give them a compliment back.
非反应式赞美
Non-Reaction Seeking Compliments ask for their opinion.
寻求建议
在你倾听的时候看着说话人
Look at this figure when you are listening.
并且你发言时也要看着你的听众
And also, when you are speaking, look at the audience.
所有听众
All of them.
微笑
Smile!
Charlie在书中深入的讲了
Charlie goes a little bit in depth in this book about what real smile is.
真正微笑的含义
它应该通过你的眼睛表露出来
It should be with your eyes.
把肩膀向后拉
Pull your shoulders back.
抬起下巴
Raise your chin and align your pelvis properly.
摆正骨盆位置
因为我知道很多人骨盆前倾
If you need to check on some vidios on anterior pelvic tilt.
而不自知
Since I know a lot of people struggle with this,
所以如果需要的话可以跟视频核实一下
and a lot of people don’t even know that they have this condition.
利用开放的肢体语言使身体和胸对着对方
Use open body language to keep your body in chest point towards people.
Charlie还提到如何正确使用手势
Charlie also talks a lot about how to use gestures properly.
他说他经常使用这种方式
He says he used a lot of them.
在他油管频道的视频里他也强烈推荐这种方式
And in his vidio on his YouTube channel you can see that he enforces this.
最后一个是 触碰他人建立信任感
And the last tip is to touch others to build trust.
那本书里信息量巨大
There’s a ton of information in Charisma On Command.
真心希望大家喜欢我的书评
And I really hope you guys enjoy my review.
我在描述里附上亚马逊的链接 你可以去看看
If you wanna check out this book, I’ll leave an Amazon link in description.
另外 如果你想要免费的有声书
Also if you want a free audio book,
我也会附上链接 你可以在网站注册获取有声书
I’ll leave a link in description, So you can sigh up and get the audio version of this book from audible.
还有一件事
One more thing.
还记得我一开始说的赢取20美元的事吗？
Remember at the beginning I said you could win twenty dollars.
我下一个《60秒上传》视频的最佳评论者
The best comment on my next vidio within 60 seconds of Bar-Floading.
将会获得一张20美元的亚马逊礼品卡
Where we save a $20 Amazon gift card.
一定要打开消息通知
So make sure you turn on that notification bell.
另外 在下期视频发布十分钟内评论的每个人
Also everyone who comments on the next vidio within ten minutes.
我会进入你的频道 如果里面有视频的话
I will personally check out your chanel and leave a comment on vidio,
我会选一个进行评论
if you have any vidios.
还有最后一件事
Also, one last thing, please give me some feedback on this vidio.
请给我一些关于这段视频的反馈
我在24小时内完成了它
I made it within 24 hours.
包括看完这本书
I read the book.
记笔记
I took notes.
写书评
I wrote an article.
视频解说以及润色 全部都在一天之内完成
I narrated it and animated it, all on one day.
希望大家喜欢 感谢观看
Hope you guys enjoy it and thinks for watching.