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共情是感受他人的感受,与人相处的关键能力

Brené Brown on Empathy

So what is empathy and why is it
什么是共情?
VERY different than sympathy?
为什么它和同情完全不同?
Empathy fuels connection.
共情能增进关系
Sympathy drives disconnection.
同情则破坏关系
Empathy. It’s very interesting.
共情 它很有趣
Theresa Wiseman is a nursing scholar who studied professions,
特蕾莎·怀斯曼是一个研究职业的护理学学者
very diverse professions where empathy is relevant
她研究很多专业 与共情有关
and came up with four qualities of empathy:
她提出共情有四个特点:
Perspective taking –
换位思考
the ability to take the perspective of another person,
站在别人的角度上思考问题
or recognise their perspective as their truth.
或者承认他们的角度的真实性的能力
Staying out of judgment –
不去评判他人
not easy when you enjoy it as much as most of us do.
做到这点并不容易 因为我们大部分人都喜欢评判别人
[Audience chuckles]
[观众笑]
Recognising emotion in other people,
识别他人的情绪
and communicating that.
以及表达出来
Empathy is feeling WITH people.
共情是与他人共同感受
And to me I always think of empathy as this kind of sacred space,
我一直认为共情是一个神圣的地方
when someone’s kind of in a deep hole
有人落入了一个很深的洞里
and they shout from the bottom and they say:
他们在底下大叫 他们说:
I’m stuck. It’s dark. I’m overwhelmed.
我被困住了 这里好黑 我不知道该怎么办
And then we look and we say,”Hey!” And climb down…
然后我们看到了 说“嘿!” 然后爬下来
I know what’s like down here, and you’re not alone.
我知道在底下是什么感受 你并不孤单
Sympathy is,”Ooh!”[Laughter]
而同情是 “哦”[笑]
“It’s bad, huh?[Laughter]
“这滋味不好受吧?[笑]
Uh…No. You want a sandwich?”
额……还行 你想来个三明治吗?”
uh…
额……
Empathy is a choice, and it’s a vulnerable choice.
共情是一种选择 一种易受伤害的选择
Because in order to connect with you,
因为为了能够与你感同身受
I have to connect with something in myself
我必须要与自己内心的
that knows that feeling.
某种知道那种感受的东西相联系
Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with,”At least…”
共情的回答很少以“至少……”开头
[Laughter]I had a…Yeah,
[笑]我有……对
and we do it all the time because you know what?
我们一直都在这么做 因为你知道吗
Someone just shared something with us that’s incredibly painful
有些人刚刚告诉我们一些非常痛苦的事情
and we’re trying to”silver lining” it.
我们试图从中找到“积极的一面”
I don’t think that’s a verb,
我知道“积极的一面”不是动词
but I’m using it as one.
不过我也把它当作动词使用
We’re trying to put a silver lining around it.
我们试图从中找到积极的一面
So,”I had a miscarriage.”
所以 “我流产了”
“At least you know you can get pregnant.”
“至少你知道了你可以怀孕”
“I think my marriage is falling apart.”
“我认为我的婚姻正在破碎”
“At least you have a marriage.”
“至少你拥有一段婚姻”
[Laughter]
[笑]
“John’s getting kicked out of school.”
“约翰要被学校开除了”
“At least Sarah is an A-student.”
“至少莎拉是一个优秀的学生”
But one of the things we do sometimes
不过我们面对难以进行的对话时
in the face of very difficult conversations
有时会做的一件事是
is we try to make things better.
我们尝试让事情变得更好
If I share something with you that’s very difficult,
如果我告诉你一些很难办的事情
I’d rather you say,
我宁愿你说
“I don’t even know what to say right now. I’m just so glad you told me.”
“我甚至不知道现在该说什么 但你告诉了我让我真的很开心”
Because the truth is, rarely can a response make something better.
因为事实上 你的回答很少能让事情好起来
What makes something better is connection.
能让事情好起来的是心灵相通

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视频概述

本视频以动画短片的形式介绍了什么是共情及其与同情的区别。安慰他人不是用漠不关己的态度,也不是试图乐观看待烦恼;而是真正与他人感同身受,想他人所想,达到心灵相通。

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

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