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职场技巧:如何让别人愿意听你说话 – 译学馆
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职场技巧:如何让别人愿意听你说话

Be Understood: Make People Listen To You ✓

你有没有发现自己遇到过这样的情况
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where
感觉人们并没有听你说话
you feel people don’t listen to you
我意思是他们是在听你说 但并没有真的听进去
I mean you know they hear you, but they don’t LISTEN to you
所以下列事情就经常发生
So the following is usually what happens
让我们看看在那之前的情景
let’s see If you have been in that situation before
当你在开会或是参与社交活动
You are in a meeting or a social gathering
你在讲话
You say something
但当你没有得到你想要的注意时
And when you don’t get the attention you want
然后你开始重复同样的话 你就是这样吧
then you start rephrasing the same sentence. You do that right?
我猜你是这么做的
I know you do it
事情一定是这样 因为你想
That’s what happens. Because you are thinking, oh
他们不理解我
They didn’t understand me.
嗯哼 所以你明白 我只好一直解释
uhm, so you know, I should just continue explaining it more
然后你用不同的话语去解释同一件事
Then you use different words to explain the same thing
当你的解释不起作用时
When that dosen’t work
你不得不开始改变你的语调 你的语速
then you start to change your pitch, your speed
最后 你不得不停五分钟不说同样的事
And eventually, you end up talking about the same thing for 5 minutes
只能用不同的词汇和音韵
just using different words and with different prosody
但毫无作用
And nothing works
这种情况每时每刻都会发生
This happens all the time
几年前
A few years ago
一个来自我团队的新手顾问在会议结束后大哭
one of my junior consultants from my team came out of a meeting crying
她哭了
She was crying
这并不是一个特别好的会议 但她哭的原因是
It was not particularly a good meeting.But the reason she was crying was because
他们没有真正的给予她关注
they didn’t really pay much attention to her
导致她感觉自己不受重视
And as result she felt unimportant
就像是 为什么会发生在我身上
She was like, why this happening to me
我是一个优秀的顾问 我是一名斯坦福的毕业生 我值得更好的
I am a good consultant. I am a Stanford graduate. I deserve better
然后 她说事情之所以发生了 就因为她是个初级顾问 仅仅因为她的称号
Then, she said it’s happening, because she’s a… she’s a junior consultant. It’s because of her title
她又说就因为她是个女生才会发生
Then, she said it’s happening because she’s a girl
我说不 不要再讲了 这样做毫无意义
I said no. Stop there. It had nothing to do with it
现在 我将会和你分享当初我同样分享给她的东西
Now I will share with you what I shared with her that day
首先声明 这个视频并不包括教你如何生动的演讲
First, a bit of a disclaimer here this video isn’t about how to speak effectively
我不打算讲你的语调 你的语速或是你的韵律
I’m not going to talk about your pitch, speed, and prosody
我将会讲一些在我看来比那些更重要的事情
I am going to talk about something, in my opinion, a lot more important than that
实际上 我会先讲一个做好优秀演讲的首要条件
In fact, I am going to talk about a prerequisite to delivering a great speech
因为 尽管你是一个世界一流水平的主持人
Because, even if you are a worldclass toastmaster, alright
你能够展示世界级水平的演讲
that you can give the best speech in the world
但如果听众没有准备好接收你的信息 那也没什么用
it makes no difference if your audience isn’t ready to receive your message
所以 这也就是这个视频想表达的全部
So, that’s what this video is all about
让你的听众做好聆听你的准备吧
Getting your audience ready to listen to you
很好 开始吧
Good, let’s start
为了更好地传达给任何人
To get through to anyone
为了让你的信息被你的听众准确地了解
To get your message properly processed by your audience
你得先明白大脑是如何运转的
You have to first understand how the brain works. So
因此在特定的时间里 我们有两个工作的系统
at any given time, we have two systems at work
一个系统很活跃 另外一个则懒散
one is always active and the other one is idle
以至于第一个系统反应迅速 本能的又富于情绪化
So, the first system is fast, instinctive and emotional
它通常是无意识的 也是我们下意识思考的方式
It’s mostly automatic and it’s our unconscious way of thinking
举个例子 如果我问你四乘以四等于多少?
For example, If I ask you what is, what dose four by four equal to
你知道答案是十六 所以答案你便脱口而出
you know the answer is sixteen, so you don’t have to think to come up with that answer
这就是关于这个第一系统的讨论
So, that’s system one talking
也就是不假思索下答案脱口而出 好吧
It just blurted out the answer without even having to think about it, alright
当你去购物逛街时
You go to shopping
你有多种多样的商品选择 但你只挑了你脑海出现的东西
you look at various food options, and you just pick what comes to your mind
你没有对它们的营养价值制定一个适当的策略
You don’t go through a proper strategy of their nutrition evaluation
可能你是这么做的但我们大部分人都没有
maybe you do but not majority of us
所以你仅仅想要吃意面 你也就买了意面
So you just felt like eating pasta. You bought Pasta
是吧?
Right? that’s system one
你醒着的百分之九十五的时间你都处于这个系统
And, 95% of your time awake, you are in this system
好 让我们来看一下第二系统
Ok, let’s move on to the System two
第二个是一个能够表达你有意识想法的系统
The system two is the one that represents your conscious thoughts
好吧 第二系统能够遵从指令 联结各点并做出类比
Alright. This system is the one that is capable of following instructions, connecting dots, and making analogies
它不仅智能 分析力强同时也很精确
It is smart, analytical, and accurate
它也是你精神的操控者
It is your mental superpower
如果让你计算21乘78等于多少
if I ask you to calculate 21 by 78
那么你的大脑将会让第二系统去寻找答案
then your brain will engage System two to find the answer
这就意味着 虽然慢但答案准确
Which means it’ll be slow, but accurate
所以 这也是一些你需要了解的重要的事
So something important you need to know here
系统二也是非常消耗能量
System two is also very energy intensive
并且除非真的不得不做 否则它是不会想工作的
and it simply doesn’t want to work unless it’s really really has to
所以 只要可以 它都会隐藏在幕后
So, whenever possible it will stay in the background
你知道的 处于闲置状态 从而保存能量
you know, in idle position, conserve your energy
并且只有必要之时才会触发
and all the engage when it’s absolutely necessary
我们都不喜欢思考 它让我们很不舒服
We don’t like thinking. Thinking is uncomfortable
现在 来探讨一下当你和别人谈话时对你意味着什么
Now, let’s talk about what that means to you when you are speaking with other people
与你的老板 你的客户 你的同事 你的团队 你的朋友…都没有关系
Be it your boss, your client, your subordinate, your team, your friends…dosen’t matter
给你一些建议
Here’s your punchline
你会惨败 如果你在讨论重要的事情时
you’ll fail miserably if you are talking about something important to
面对的是听众的系统一
system one side of your audience
你明白了吗
Did you get this?
我不在乎你是一个多么棒的主持人
I don’t care how amazing of a toastmaster you are
我也不在意你是不是世界上超凡的演讲者
I don’t care if you are the most charismatic speaker in the world
你都得不到你想要的
You won’t get what you want
尝试教你的孩子狭义相对论 当他们在公园玩耍的时候
Try teaching your kids special relativity when they are playing in the park
祝好运
Good luck with that
如我所说 如果你面对的是系统一 你不会得到想要的效果
As I said, you won’t get what you want if you talk to system one
你想启动系统二
You want to talk to system two
好的
Ok, the
接下来的问题很明显
natural question to follow is obviously
找到如何做的方法
find how do you do that
好的 我的意思是对于听众的大脑思维
Ok, I mean it’s the brain of the audience
似乎无法操控 我怎么可能改变他们的思维状态呢
like there’s no switch. How is it possible that I can change their state?
我的意思是我不能就说 好 现在我们转换到系统二 停 转换……
I mean I can’t just say alright now turn on the system two, stop, turn s…
你明白的 无效的
you know, just won’t work
嗯哼 很显然是不可以的
So, uhm, obviously not
但我能够做一些事情
But there’re certain things I do
能够触发观众系统二反应的
which triggers the activation of system two in my audience
然后我的信息获得一个有效的传达
so my message gets properly processed
接下来 我会教你我是怎么做到的
Now, I am going to teach you how I do it
另外 特此声明
And one more disclaimer here
我目前所讨论的都是科学的
What I covered so far was scientific
诺贝尔奖得主丹尼尔·卡纳曼博士有一本很棒的书涉及这个话题
A Nobel Laureate Dr. Daniel Kahneman has a great book on this topic
如果你感兴趣请在他的书中一探究竟
So if you are interested please feel free to read more in his book
好的 接下来的
Now, what will follow
倒没有必定的科学性 我会跟你分享我是怎么做的
isn’t necessarily very scientific. I’ll share with you what I do
并且跟你分享我所知道的
And I’ll share with you what I know works
对我和我身边向我学习这个方法的人起作用的方法
for me and works for those around me whom learned it from me
所以 这不是一个很好的效仿的蓝图 但是一个很好的参考
So it’s not an absolute blueprint to follow but it’s a good guideline
基于这个参考 你可以创造你自己的想法 好吗
based on this guideline you can create your own versions. Ok?
有三个技巧能让你实现你想要的结果
There are three techniques that you can achieve the result you want
第一个是 给予你的听众一个任务
the First one is. Giving your audience a task
这个任务必须足够容易 这样你的观众才不会无视你
The task needs to be easy enough so they don’t ignore you
但是也要有足够难度 这样系统一无法独自解决
but difficult enough so system one can’t handle on its own
记得我们直接提到的例子吗
Remember we talk about this earlier
就像四乘以四等于十六
Like how four by four equal to sixteen
你知道这个答案 但如果我问你21×73呢
you know the answer.But If I ask you about 21by 73
那么你的大脑就需要启动系统二寻找答案
And your brain needs engage system two to find the answer
举个例子
So, for example
嗯哼 我给你说几个例子
uhm, let me share with you some examples. alright
我已经记不清了 尼尔森报告的可信度来源于哪里
I can’t remember now, what was the confidence score from Nielsen’s report?
另外 你能告诉我你在该报告中运用的方法论吗?
Another one, can you let me know what methodology you used for this?
来自ABC顾客的财务经理是什么名字
What is the name of the finance director from the ABC Client?
我提出的例子是相当简单的
The examples I gave are fairly simple ones
但是重点在于它是一个任务
But the important takeaway is that it’s a task
要求你思考而得到一个答案
that requires thinking to arrive an answer
因此 这是第一个方法
So, this was your first method
第二个方法是命令他们
the second method is giving a command
较第一和第三个方法而言 这是更为低效的
It’s comparablely less effective compared to the first and third technique, but
但是不妨一起分享一下 下面是例子
dosen’t hurt to share it here, so here is an example
希望你现在将注意力集中到我将要说的内容上
I’d like you to now pay attention to what I’m about to say
然后停顿 请认真听
then pause. Please listen carefully
然后停顿几秒 那么就能够吸引大家的注意力
then pause for a few seconds so the brain catches up
然后 现在来谈一下第三个技巧
And, let’s now talk about the third technique
我经常用到
which I use very frequently
它更加复杂 但我发现它更加有效果
it is a bit more complex, but I found it works a lot better than
相对于前两个技巧而言
any of the previous two techniques
这个技巧是关于首创的不确定性
this technique is all about first creating uncertainty
以及潜在的挑战性
and a potential for a challenge
让我快速解释一下我的意思
Let me just quickly demonstrate what I mean by that
我们可以慢慢解析 就像这样
Then, we can break it down. It’s like this
我明白你的观点
I see your points…
我理解 但是 恩……
I understand. But uhmm…
很有趣 然而……
That’s interesting, However…
或者 我是指这种方法有效 你可以震惊你的听众
Or I mean this works, you can simply shock the audience
我给你举些相关的例子
Let me give you some examples about this
我记得一个两年前的例子
I remember an instance a couple of years ago
在普华永道的咨询工作中 我们面对政府客户
at PwC Consulting, we were working with our government client
我们当时与部长举办了每月项目进展报告会议
we were in a monthly project update meeting with the minister himself
那是一个非常大型的会议
And it was a very large meeting
将近50个人坐在一张狭长的桌旁 每个人都很紧张
Easily 50 people in a very long narrow table. Everyone is very nervous
咨询师和项目负责人展示他们的项目
consultants and project leads present their projects. But
但是每个人的大脑都觉得无聊
everyone was kind of bored out of their minds
我的意思是作报告的人很紧张 而听的人非常无聊
I mean the person who is presenting was very nervous, and everyone else was bored
并且部长也无所事事
And Minister wasn’t engaged, So
因此会议的目的基本上非常有限
Basically, the meeting was serving very little purpose. Alright
轮到我为项目进展进行报告时
When my turn came to present the updates for my projects
我认为我的项目十分重要 不能让其他人充耳不闻
I knew that my projects were way too important to fall on deaf ears
此外 我在一些事情上需要部长的支持
Plus, I needed minister’s support on something
即我需要完全集中的注意力
That means I needed the full attention
我需要与听众的第二系统进行对话
I needed to speak to the system two side of my audience
特别是部长
the most importantly the minister himself, so
因此在我开始报告之前 我先启发听众 我说
before I presented my projects. I first primed the audience and I said
我在说什么?是的 我将会反思
what I say? Yes, I said I am going to make a confession
我的项目失败了
My project is failing
在震惊了听众以及部长之后 我说
Then, I shocked the audience and minister himself. Then I said
它的失败是由于
it’s failing because
当我执行项目时 它满足预算 及时完成 质量良好
while on my implementation plan, my project is on budget, schedule, and the quality
但是我们在团队本土人才的培养方面做的不是很好
But, we are not doing an excellent job in terms of training the local talent in our teams
当本次合同结束后
When this engagement is over
我不是很自信
I am not confident, as of now
他们是否能够接管我们的工作
whether they will be able to take it over from us
但是 我有一个解决方案
But, I have a plan
这时就是我充分吸引部长大人的注意力
That’s when I fully engaged the minister himself
因为我知道那才是他真正关心的地方
Because I knew that’s what he cared about the most
他不关心我们项目中的无聊细节
He wasn’t interested in the boring details of our projects
他们的计划表 时间线和甘特图 以及精美的幻灯片
their schedule, and timelines, and gantt charts and fancy powerpoint slides
不 他想知道我们离开两个月后
No! He wanted to know whether two months from now when we leave
当地资源是否能够支撑我们正在做的工作
If the local resources will be able to carry on the good work we are doing
他将会在那儿进行四年 而不是像我们一样2个月
He’ll be there for 4 years not 2 months like us
他对2个月的短跑不感兴趣 他想赢得的是马拉松
He’s not interested in a two month sprint. He wants to win the marathon
对我来说这正好 只要给他重点
This was great for me. With that opening he got
他就完全被吸引了 完全 没错 完全专注的
totally engaged, fully, right, fully immersed
他理解我的瓶颈
He understood my bottlenecks
他帮助分派新的资源
he helped with assigning new resources
并且提供了许多便利
and got so many doors open
因此我从那个会议中得到了我想要的一切
So I got everything I wanted from that meeting
如果不对听众进行启发
And without priming the audience
使他们进入第二系统状态 那这就不可能
getting them into the System two state, this would have been impossible
我就会像我之前的49个人
I would be just like the 49 others before me
在我之前 将近二十个项目负责人进行报告 他们在那场会议中没有得到任何东西
Before me, over 20 project managers presented and they got nothing out of that meeting
我是唯一一个得到想要的支持的人
I was the only one who got all the support he wanted
行 视频结束了 但在你关闭前
Ok. This video is done, but before you go
我有一些重要的事情要讲 嗯哼
I have something important to say. uhm
我早先就想讲的了 但我老忘记
I wanted to say this in previous videos, but I somehow kept forgetting
如果你喜欢我 也喜欢我的视频
If you like me, if you like my videos
如果你想看更多关于事情技巧的视频 我需要你的支持
and if you want to see more of these career hacks, so to speak, I need a favour from you
我希望你能把它分享在你的社交网或者博客上 一起分享也可以
I need you to share it in Linkedin or Twitter, or both
如果这个频道将要成长 也只有在你的支持下才能成长
If this channel is to grow, it can only grow thanks to you
我会分享我的观点 分享我数年积累的
I can share my point of view, I can share my decades of
管理资讯经验 以及我面对的所有挑战和我如何战胜它们的
management consulting experience, and all the challenges I faced and how I overcame them
你可以从我的经验中受益匪浅 但如果你不分享 不传播经验
so you can benefit from my experience. But If you don’t share and spread the massage
我们的影响力将会被限制
Our reach will always be limited
如果这个节目能够发展
If this channel will grow
因为只有你们的支持才能使它不断发展 多谢大家
It will only only grow because of you and thanks to you
所以请分享吧 而且 如果你真的在社交平台上分享了
So, let’s share. And in fact if you do share in Linkedin
请给我发送好友邀请 让我们成为朋友 让我们一起讨论
please send me an invitation to connect as well. Let’s connect, let’s talk
我很乐意联系你 也很乐意倾听你
I’d love to be connected to you, I’d love to hear about you
发私信给我 我会回复的 我是真实存在的人
Send me a message. I’ll respond. I am a real person
不是你现在看到的电脑数字化印象
Not a digital reflection on a computer as you see me at this moment
如果你能够为我们的发展助力
And if we can create this synergy for a growth
我向你保证
together, I have one promise for you
我的视频从不讲废话
I will never ever waste your time with any of my videos
所以如果你在一个视频中看到一个小插曲
So if you see a video and episode coming from me
绝对不会是那些愚蠢的“通往成功的三个秘诀”
it will not be some stupid “3 tips for Resume Successs”
而是绝对有价值的 实质性的东西
No. It will be valuable and it will have substance
一些值得你花时间的内容
something that’s worth your time
好吧 现在 下周见
Ok. now, see you next week!
最后 不好意思 在你离开前说一下
And finally, sorry, before you go
如果你现在失业或者正在就业
if you are unemployed or underemployed
或者正在寻找职业生涯的转化
or you are looking to make a transition in your career
我强烈推荐你参与我的LIG项目
I strongly recommend you check out my LIG program
目前为止已经超过一千人加入
Over 1,000 people have joined so far and we have transformed over 600 of those careers
链接就在说明框中
So the link should be somewhere in the description box
非常好 我们下周见
Very well. Now, I’ll see you next week!

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视频概述

如何让别人愿意听你说话?如何进行有效沟通?我们来和你分享经验与技巧,共同走好职场生涯路!

听录译者

Nullyl

翻译译者

nife

审核员

审核团MG

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=firTXMghG3M

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