We all remember feeling a sense of seperation anxiety when we were kids,
whether it would be your parents dropping you off at school
or having your favourite stuff animal taking away from you.
We only got a sense of relief
when the person or thing that was taken away
is brought back.
This is the beginning of Attachment Theory.
The seperation anxiety can continue into adulthood
like when you get anxious about
having your cellphone taking away.
But, why do humans behave like this?
Psychologists have labled the reason behind this early childhood anxieties as attachment.
And have explored human connection through parent-child bonding.
Daniel Goleman states that attachment provides the glue that keeps
not just the couple but a family together.
And care giving us the impulse to look after offspring.
So our children can grow up to have their own.
The early stages of childhood are the most crucial and development.
This time in a child’s life is when they have experience that shape how we relate
to other people.
Having a healthy relationship with the child, parents is key in this development.
It is hard in some families though for a child to get a sense of attachment to their mother.
There are few reasons for this.
Sometimes the mother has
Post Partum Depression,
and with jealous on the baby.
Or there’s a lack of resources that makes the family less ready to focus on
building an attchment.
A study done by Mary Ainsworth called “Strange Situation”, in which
she put a parent and a child between ages of nine to eighteen months
in a room.
She was then bring in a stranger
while the child was preoccupied with the stranger, the parent would leave.
Afterwards, the child would react to the missing parent,
and said parent would come back.
Ainsworth typed three types of attachment,
secure, anxious-avoidant attachment,
A fourth type of attachment was introduced later on
the Ainsworth’s colleague Mary Main.
She brought on Disorganized
This is when a child avoids their parent or caregiver but is also clinging.
When the parent or caregiver leaves and comes back,
the child looks dazed and disoriented.
Our attachment style was what our parents or caregivers growing up
with a huge role in how we live our lives today.
What do you think your attachment style is ?
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