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被“直升机家长”毁掉的一代

Are Helicopter Parents Ruining a Generation?

When a child is learning to walk,
当小孩开始学走路时
that’s the last time we allow ourselves to be overjoyed
这将是我们最后的一次狂喜机会了
by the fact that they’re trying and failing and trying again.
因为他们在这过程中会反复跌倒又爬起来
Of course, it’s hard to see them fall, but somehow,
当然 看孩子跌倒我们会感到难过 但不知怎的
we know that this is an essential task for them
我们知道这对他们而言是一项艰巨的任务
to practice, practice, practice, and ultimately, perfect. Well,
他们要不断练习再练习 最终真正学会走路
somehow, we’ve forgotten that every single other skill
不知为何 我们已然忘记任何其他一种生活技能
in life is acquired the the same way.
也是像学走路一样的方式学会的
While I was Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University,
当我还是斯坦福大学大一学生系主任时
we began referring to college students as”kids” or”children.”
我们开始把大学生称作“孩子”
Those terms would not have been used in prior decades.
若是在以前我们是不会用这词的
Too many students seemed to be lacking agency
太多学生像是在生活中缺乏代理
in their own lives, and I thought,”This is
然后我就想:“这是
not good for them,
对他们不好的
and it’s not good for all of us
在社会层面上也对我们大家都不好。”
at a societal level either.” Initially, helicopter parenting
一开始 直升机式教育
appears to work.
似乎效果不错
As a kid, you’re kept safe, you’re given direction,
小孩子是被保护的 是被指定了方向的
you might get a better grade,
那小孩可能会获得进步
because your parent is arguing with the teacher.
因为父母会找老师讲道理
But we parents end up getting in our kid’s way.
但我们父母不可以成为孩子的绊脚石
We deprive the kid
我们要让孩子自己
of the chance to show up in their own lives,
走属于他们的人生路
take responsibility for things, be accountable for outcomes.
让他们负责自己的事 独立承担事情的结果
What we’ve got to do is teach our kids
我们所要做的就是教孩子们
all of these things; whether it’s cross the street,
这些事:过马路
or make a meal on the stove, or remember to
用炉子做饭 或记得要
put your belongings in your backpack.
把东西装进书包里
There’s a 4-step method for teaching kids skills.
以下是教会孩子掌握技能的四部曲
Step one: you do it for them.
第一步:你帮他们做
Step two: you do it with them.
第二步:你陪他们做
Step three: you watch them do it.
第三步:你看他们做
Step four: they can do it independently.
第四步:你让他们自己做
If we don’t do this, we will have among us
如果我们不按这四步做 我们的
a young adult population that doesn’t know
下一代就不知道
how to “hashtag adult.”
如何贴上“成人”的标签
It becomes a community problem.
这会成为群体问题
It becomes a crisis in leadership.
会造成缺乏领导的危机
You have to ask who’s going to run the schools?
你不得不发问是谁在运行学校?
Who’s going to run our nonprofits?
谁在在运营非盈利机构?
Who’s going to run the government?
谁在运行政府?
Who’s going to lead our families?
谁在当一家之主?
Kids have to be able to make their own mistakes growing up.
孩子们必须能在错误中成长
Life is about having confidence that
生活就是如果走错了路
if you took the wrong path,
也不失信心
you can get on the right path.
你也能重回正轨
That if you fall down, you can get back up.
如果跌倒了 就再重新站起来
The moment they learn to walk, they’re walking away from us.
孩子学会走路的同时 意味着他们会离开我们
And it feels terrifying, but as paradoxical
这感觉很可怕 听起来也许矛盾
as it may sound, our job as parents is,
但这就是我们为人父母的工作
like it or not, to put ourselves out of a job.
不管喜不喜欢 我们都要放手

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视频概述

父母不能事事为孩子代理做事,这种直升机式的教育方法会造成长远的影响,父母要教孩子逐渐掌握生活技能,学会独立,为自己的人生做选择,负责任

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Winnie

审核员

审核员 LD

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeltnroSGco

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