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校友贴纸 – 译学馆
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Alumni Sticker

The other week, I was in a car on my way to a destination
嗯 显然汽车不是目的地 是去目的地的工具
Well, obviously a car is never a destination. It’s a tool to go to a destination…
不管怎样 我赶上了红灯 停在一辆SUV的后面 在后玻璃上
Anyway, we hit a red and we’re behind this SUV and on the rear window
I see a sticker that says “mother of a stanford alumni”,
and I was like “what what is that?
那是啥意思?”好吧 我知道是什么意思
What what does that mean?” Okay, I knew what it meant,
显然 司机的儿子或是女儿毕业于斯坦福大学
obviously the drivers son or daughter graduated from Stanford University
It’s just that I usually see the actual graduate students bragging about it on their own vehicles,
由于某种原因 这张贴纸却让我有点过度心烦
for some reason this one, bothered me, just a little bit too much…
你知道原因吧 因为这个母亲的贴纸不是给他们的朋友和家人看的
You know why because that parent did not put it on for their friends and family
And I speculate this because if they had that much level of pride
their mutual’s wouldn’t need a sticker to be informed of that matter
They would have been called on the phone or have been sent a text or been updated in person at a party
“嘿 弗兰克!猜猜怎么着?我儿子 研究生 毕业了”
“Hey, Frankie! (ya d*ck bag), guess what? My son is a post Secondary Graduate.
不是 他们的贴纸是给全世界的人看的 而我就在其中
No, they put it on for the world to see, and I was in that world
I didn’t like it…
Syndical Dom 刚出门就讨厌这位家长(哦 我的天啊)
Syndical Dom just just came out and immediately HATED this parent (Oh my)
From who he knows nothing about the fact that they’re Very proud of their offspring,
they might have been first-generation immigrants
他们必须白手起家 经历了很多的困难
who had to start from the bottom and their family faced through many hardships of
受到歧视还有一些说不出的事情 我不知道 这就是一种修辞性的冒昧的言论
Discrimination and whatnot, I don’t know, this is just a presumptuous and rhetorical rant!
但是 对!这位家长强行将他们孩子的成就展示给不幸跟在他车后的人
BUT yeah! This was a parent shoving their kids achievement into anyone who was, unfortunately, behind them in traffic
And I found it hard to believe if anyone in the world would care
Do they expect someone to just be walking by and be like, (Highly exaggerated GASP)
“女士 女士”
“Ma’am, Ma’am,”
“祝贺你有个好儿子 你应该为此骄傲
Congratulations on being a parent to your son. You should be very proud,
Very proud.”
“哦 天哪”
“Oh my God,”
“谢谢你 超市停车场上的陌生人
Thank you the stranger in the supermarket parking lot.
我花了20美元买这张贴纸 终于有人注意到了”
I spent $20 on this sticker. It’s about damn time someone noticed.”
我的意思是向你的孩子表示祝贺 当然是因为他努力学习还有负债累累
I mean congratulations to your kid of course for his or her or their hard work and being in debt
但我不在乎 本应该省下这20块钱
But I didn’t care. Should have saved that $20
unless they changed the world by finding the cure for cancer
or they invented a teleportation device at which
They should have probably had a sticker that read,
“癌症毁灭者的母亲” 或者
“Mother of cancer destroyer”, or,
“Mother of the reason your long-distance relationship is now easy”
但是 我见到它的方式 读起来就像是人们初次见面时的自我介绍
But, the way I saw it, I read it as if it was how they introduced themselves when they first meet people.
“你好 我是Dominic”
“Hello, I’m Dominic.”
“Dominic 很高兴见到你 我是斯坦福校友的母亲”
“Dominic, pleasure to meet you. Mother of a Stanford Alumni.”
“Shut the f*** up!”
They might as well have stuck on a dick pic on their car! (Oh my)
当然我意思是这更下流 我认为如果他们是母亲的话毫无意义
I mean of course it’s more obscene, and I guess it wouldn’t make sense if they were a mother
但是这确实像在说“嘿 孩子 看看那儿 呵呵呵”
But, it’s like they’re going, “Yea boi, look at dat, HEHEHE.”
“好吧 祝贺你的大狗屎 但是没有人问过……”
“Okay, congrats on your huge dung, but NO ONE asked…”
I’m not discouraging parents from being proud of their kids
我想说的 难道这不是我们去学校学习一半的人完全不感兴趣的东西的原因吗 哈哈 哈哈
I mean, isn’t that the reason why half of us went to school for things we’re not fully passionate about, haha haha.
但是对 不是的 要骄傲 但要冷静 你知道吗?
But yeah, no. Be proud, but calm down about it. You know?
他们毕业了 他们成功了 很酷
They graduated, they made it, cool.
办个庆祝会 私下里告诉他们你为他们骄傲
Throw a celebration, show them personally that you were proud of them!
你不必到处走对每个人说“嘿 在这儿 这个孩子在这儿呢
You don’t have to go around clarifying to everyone that “Hey, this, this kid right here,
This university graduate,
这位硕士学位获得者 对 是我的孩子
This Master’s degree owner, yeah, I made him.
He came out of me.” (What about Dad?)
“Partial credit.” (There he is)
我确信他们想让你自豪 但很可能他们并不想让你向每个人炫耀
I’m sure they wanted to make you proud, but they probably didn’t intend for you to shove it down everyone’s throat.
如果是这样的话 我认为他们在家里就能够让她感到自豪
And if they did then okay, I guess their do-she-pride runs in the family.
To me, personally,
My opinion,
Kind of makes it seem like that’s all your kid is to you.
再次表明 冒昧的说
Again, a presumptuous rant.
I just feel like parents need to chill a little bit with the career pressures on their kid,
If you push them to pursue a path that was for their own good,
Then push for that cause.
Don’t push for your own pride.
Save $20.
嘿 大家好 这是Crunchyroll带来视频
Hey guys this video has been brought to you by Crunchyroll!
如果有什么事情值得骄傲 就是能随意看高品质动漫产品
If there’s anything to be proud of, it’s the ability to watch high-quality anime at your disposal!
If you head over to
下面是网址链接 你会得到14天的免费会员资格纵情观看你喜爱的动漫
Link below, you can binge on some of your favorite anime with a free premium membership for 14 days.
《进击的巨人》和《我的英雄学院》这种节目绝对有很多时间去追 去更新
Definitely a lot of time to catch up and be up-to-date to shows like Attack on Titan and My Hero Academia
动漫在日本播放1小时之后本网站就免费发布1080 P专业字幕版的
It still provides you with ad free 1080p and professionally subbed episodes as soon as an hour release after Japan
Crunchyroll还有方便的应用软件 适用于几乎所有装置
Crunchyroll is also available as a convenient app on nearly every device.
再次强调 这是 描述框里有链接 谢谢观看
Once again, that’s ; link in the description. Enjoy!
[音乐继续] (你最喜欢的动漫是什么?)
[music continues]