未登录,请登录后再发表信息
最新评论 (0)

边界感不强的9个标志

9 Signs You Have Poor Boundaries

Brainy Dose Presents:
《脑提升》出品:
9 Signs You Have POOR Boundaries
你边界感不强的9个标志
Boundaries are personal guidelines
边界是个人准则
that define what is and isn’t OK in your relationships.
界定你人际关系中 哪些东西能接受 哪些不能
They help you distinguish between where you end
可以这样说 边界可以帮你辨别
and someone else begins, so to speak,
你个人领域的终点 和他人领域的起点
making it easier for you to maintain your values, beliefs,
让你更容易坚定自己的价值观和信仰
and personal space.
维护个人空间
Having firm boundaries is essential to your overall well-being.
拥有坚定的边界感 对你的整体幸福感来说很关键
They help you stay true to yourself
边界能帮你坚守自我
and protect your time, energy, emotions, and physical space.
帮你保护自己的时间 精力 情绪和个人空间
They also enable you to establish healthy relationships with others.
也让你能和别人建立良好的人际关系
While it’s normal for boundaries to be tested from time to time,
尽管边界不时受到挑战很正常
people who tend to have poor boundaries
但那些边界感不强的人
often struggle in their relationships with others.
经常会在人际关系中苦苦挣扎
If you’re wondering how to know if you have poor boundaries,
如果你想知道如何判断自己边界感强不强
here are 9 red flags to watch out for!
这里有9个警示需要注意!
Number 1 – You Don’t Feel in Control of Your life
第一条:你不觉得自己掌控着生活
Many factors contribute to your lack of control,
很多因素都会导致你失去掌控感
and you may have difficulty knowing where to start with fixing things.
你可能不知道该从哪入手解决种种问题
It’s possible that the people in your life aren’t respecting your needs,
可能生活中的人没有尊重你的需求
or perhaps you’re not sure how to stand up for yourself.
或者你可能不确定如何为自己发声
You might even be so used to others interfering in your life
甚至是你太习惯于别人干预你的生活
that it feels normal and you don’t realize there’s another way.
觉得这很正常 没有意识到有别的选择
In these cases, a lack of boundaries is at play.
在这些情况下 你就是缺少边界感
And unless you set some limits and assert yourself,
你要是不设些界限 坚定自己的立场
it isn’t going to get better.
情况就不会有好转
Number 2 – You Tend to Overshare
第二条:你往往会过度分享
If you feel the need to let everyone know
如果你觉得有必要让所有人都知道
how many drinks you had last night
你昨天晚上喝了多少
or how much money you have in the bank,
或者你银行里存了多少钱
chances are high that your boundaries need some work.
那你的边界感很有可能不够强
This is especially true if you make little effort
如果你对本不该了解你个人生活的人
to hide anything about your personal life
什么都讲
from people who shouldn’t have access to that information.
那便更是如此
Others need to understand what you’re comfortable sharing with them
你需要让别人知道 什么能放心跟他们分享
and what’s off-limits,
什么越了界不能讲
and this can be difficult when you’re not used to setting those limits for yourself.
你要是不习惯为自己设定边界 这就很难实现
Number 3 – You Feel Guilty About Small Things
第三条:你会为小事愧疚
One of the clearest signs of having poor boundaries
边界感不强最明显的标志之一就是
is feeling guilty about small things.
对小事感觉愧疚
If you feel bad for turning down a request
如果你因为拒绝邻居托你照看猫的请求
to cat-sit your neighbor’s kitty,
就感觉不舒服
or if you feel guilty when someone asks you to grab a coffee sometime
或者有时候儿别人请你喝咖啡
and you don’t try to make it happen,
而你没有去 就感觉愧疚
this is another sign of poor boundaries.
这就是另一个边界感不强的标志
It could be that you let other people walk all over you
这可能是说你允许别人主导你
and take advantage of your time and energy.
并利用你的时间和精力
But it can also mean something much simpler:
但也可能说明一个简单得多的事情:
You may have trouble saying no.
说“不”对你来说很难
Number 4 – Your Day is at the Mercy of Other People’s Whims
第四条:你的生活都围着别人的想法转
If you regularly let others dictate how you spend your time,
如果你经常让别人决定你的时间用来干啥
you likely don’t have strong boundaries.
那你的边界感很可能不够强
It can be difficult to say no to others,
对别人说“不”很难
especially when we’re afraid of disappointing them
尤其是在我们害怕让他人失望
or letting them down.
或害怕辜负他们的时候
As a result, we often take on extra tasks and projects at work
因此我们经常在工作中承担额外的任务和项目
where we’ve promised too much.
给自己揽太多活儿
This often comes at the expense of our own health and well-being.
这常常以牺牲我们的健康和幸福感为代价
If you’re always putting other people’s needs before your own,
如果你总是把别人的需求放在自己的前面
it can quickly leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted,
很快就会感觉受不住了 非常疲惫
and that doesn’t do anyone any good in the long run!
长远来看这样对谁都不好!
Number 5 – You Have a Hard Time Making Decisions
第五条:你很难做决定
When your boundaries are not strong enough
要是你的边界没那么强
to hold up against the opinions and advice of others,
顶不住别人的意见和看法
it can be very difficult to follow through on any decision.
贯彻落实任何决定都会很难
You can easily get pulled in many different directions
你会很容易被各种声音左右
or end up feeling paralyzed by indecision.
或者最后因为优柔寡断而手足无措
You need to develop a stronger sense of self-worth,
你需要培养更强的自我价值感
and learn the value of setting firm boundaries
还得明白设立坚定边界的价值
to protect yourself from being treated poorly by others.
这样才能保护自己不被他人恶劣对待
Once you do that, you’ll no longer need
一旦这样做了 你就不会
approval or validation from other people when making a choice
在做选择的时候需要别人的批准或认可
because it won’t matter what they think.
因为别人怎么想不重要
You’ll be comfortable with who you are, regardless of their opinions.
你会自在地做自己 不管别人怎么想
Number 6 – You Have a Fear of Rejection or Abandonment
第六条:你害怕被拒绝或被抛弃
It can be hard to set boundaries with others
即便你知道你需要边界
even when you know you need them.
对他们设立边界也很难
This is especially true if you’re fearful of the person’s reaction.
如果你害怕那个人的反应 就更是如此
Perhaps you don’t want to hurt the other person,
或许你不想伤害另一个人
or maybe you’re afraid they’ll reject or abandon you
或者你害怕他们觉得你没跟他们站一边
if they feel like you’re not on their side.
就会拒绝或抛弃你
You could also be scared of being disliked by others
你也可能害怕别人不喜欢你
or being judged for setting limits for yourself.
或是因自己设立边界而遭受指责
Remember, you’re not responsible for other people’s feelings.
要记住 你不为别人的感受负责
You don’t have to explain yourself.
你不需要为自己解释什么
And you’re allowed to say no when something doesn’t feel good or right for you!
在感觉有些事不好或不对时 你有权说“不”!
Number 7 – You Find Yourself Making Excuses for Other People’s Behavior
第七条:你发现自己为别人的行为找借口
Do you often make excuses for other people’s behavior,
你会不会经常为别人做的事情找借口
like telling yourself that they didn’t mean to insult you
比如告诉自己他们不是有意冒犯你
or that they were just joking,
或者他们只是开玩笑
rather than addressing the issue head-on?
而不会直面问题?
This is a sign that you have poor boundaries,
这标志着你边界感不强
because it demonstrates that you are willing
因为这说明你愿意
to put your comfort and happiness below someone else’s.
把自己的舒适和幸福放在别人的后面
Poor boundaries often lead us
边界感不强经常会让我们
to make excuses for others’ actions,
在别人的行为给我们带来负面影响
when those actions are actually negatively affecting us
且应该得到处理的时候
and should be addressed!
为这些行为找借口
Number 8 – You Have Passive Aggressive Tendencies
第八条:你有“被动攻击性”倾向
Passive-aggressive behavior is another sign of poor boundaries.
“被动攻击性”行为是边界感不强的另一个标志
You might be passive-aggressive, if in an effort to avoid conflict,
如果你为避免冲突不直接表达愤怒或感受
you don’t express your anger or feelings directly,
或者试图报复别人
or if you try to get back at people
又不告诉他们为什么
without telling them why.
那你可能具有被动攻击倾向
The problem with this approach is that
这种处理方式的问题在于
it doesn’t actually solve anything,
实际上什么都没解决
because it doesn’t address the real issue,
因为没有处理真正的问题
and, it also makes other people feel confused and resentful.
还会把其他人弄糊涂 让他们感觉气愤
Number 9 – Your Relationships are Difficult or Dramatic
第九条:你的人际关系中矛盾重重或富有戏剧性
If your relationships are difficult or dramatic,
如果你的人际关系矛盾重重或非常戏剧化
and filled with emotional ups and downs, codependency,
满是跌宕起伏的情绪变化 彼此又互相依赖
and/or abuse whether physical or emotional,
还(或)存在身体或情感上的虐待行为
this can be a sign that you have poor boundaries.
这就可能说明你边界感不强
The reason is simple.
理由很简单
If you allow people to cross your boundaries out of fear of conflict,
如果你因为害怕冲突让别人越界
they will likely continue doing so.
他们之后可能会继续这样
And if they get away with abusing your boundaries in small ways,
如果他们轻微触犯你的边界 没有承担后果
they’ll eventually become comfortable doing it in more significant ways.
他们最后会变本加厉这样做
If you don’t know your own limits and needs,
要是你不清楚自己的界限和需求
or how to express them,
或者不知道如何表达它们
you are much more likely to be taken advantage of or abused by others.
你更可能会受人利用或被人伤害
Having poor boundaries is a common problem
边界感不强的问题很普遍
that can lead to resentment in relationships
会导致人际关系中的不满
and feelings of general anxiety or stress.
还有广泛性焦虑或精神压力
Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries
建立及维持良好的边界感
is one of the most important characteristics of emotionally healthy adults.
是情绪健康的成年人最重要的特点之一
That said, developing and maintaining healthy relationships
即便如此 要建立并维系良好的人际关系
is an ever-changing process;
是一个持续变化的过程
which means you have to constantly set and re-set boundaries.
这就是说 你必须不断设立及重设边界
The good news is that it’s something that can be worked on with a little bit of effort.
所幸 这是你稍作努力就能处理好的事
What do you think?
你怎么想的呢?
How do you manage your boundaries?
你如何管理自己的边界?
After listening to this list, did you discover any weak areas?
听了这几条 你有没有发现自己的边界有薄弱之处?
Share your thoughts and comment below!
在视频下方分享你的想法和评论吧!
If you enjoyed this video, give it a thumbs-up,
如果你喜欢本期视频 点个赞
and share it with your friends,
分享给你的朋友吧
so we can keep making them.
这样我们能继续做下去
For more videos like this, hit the subscribe button,
想看更多这样的视频 请订阅我们
and remember to click on the notification bell.
记得打开通知提醒
Also, be sure to check out our other videos as well.
也一定要去看看我们其他的视频
Thanks for watching!
感谢观看!

发表评论

译制信息
视频概述

想知道如何判断你的边界感强不强吗?9个标志可供你参考~

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

KJQWXYZC

审核员

审核员TL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTTx5F2OOPI

相关推荐