There’s no such thing as a perfect family,
parents may often think they’re doing
what’s best for their child
because they love them,
but those actions may not always necessarily be healthy.
As children grow up and reach their teenage years,
this is usually when things take a turn for the worst.
Arguments may be frequent,
and parents will begin to wonder
what happen to the sweet child they used to play with.
This is a concern commonly experienced
and we want to help be a part of the solution.
Here’s 8 effective ways that can strengthen parent-teen relationships.
1. Hug each other on a daily basis.
Psychologist Janice Kiecolt Glaser states
the older you are, the more fragile you are physically,
so contact becomes increasingly important for good health.
When you enter your teenage years,
you may be reluctant to hug your parents
because it’s no longer considered to be cool.
As you learn to be more independent,
you may keep physical affection to a minimum.
However, hugging is good for your health
and acts as a natural stress reliever.
Approaching adulthood can be scary and challenging.
When you hug your parents on a daily basis,
it can act as a physical reminder that
you’re not alone.
Physical and emotional support are equally important,
when you work on fortifying relationships in general.
2. Turn off technology devices during interactions.
It can be hard to walk away from technology
when we’re constantly connected by it.
You don’t have to live in a cave
to save your relationship with your parents,
but it doesn’t hurt to put your phone on silent,
so you don’t feel obligated to respond to every email or text message
when you’re interacting with your parents.
When you’re in the car with your family,
it’s also good practice to turn off the music
so it gives you an opportunity to talk.
Although music can be a great way to bond
by singing your favorite songs together,
on bad days, when communication is vital,
it’s good to stray from using technology
as a means of escaping from one another.
3. Connect before transitions or large decision-making.
Making transitions can be challenging,
especially in your teenage years,
this is the time when your child begins to figure out
who they are and what kind of life they want to live,
a lot of decision-making takes place.
There’re going to be many days
when they’re uncertain about what direction to take.
Don’t hesitate to reach out and let your child know you’re there for them.
Give them advice and any insides you think will be helpful to them,
but don’t tell them directly what to do.
Have them figure out what they want to do,
but be supportive and understanding.
4. Make time to spend quality one-on-one time with each other.
As you get older,
more responsibilities tend to stack up on your plate.
You start working more to build the skills you want
for your desire career path,
and your friends move away to chase their own dreams.
You’re no longer in close proximity with them,
so you have to schedule compatible times to see each other.
This makes it incredibly easy to put your family on the back burner,
when you already juggling work with your social life.
But don’t forget to set aside time
to spend quality one-on-one time with your parents.
It can be extremely tempting to postpone plans
when you may just want to be alone to unwind for a while,
or go out and engage with new faces and your networking circle.
But this is how parenting relationships weaken.
Distance is created,
and putting in effort becomes minimum to none.
Sustaining a strong relationship with your parents
can be difficult with increasing age,
but ghosting them easily destroys it.
It doesn’t have to be a lot.
You can spend 15 minutes each day
to have meaningful conversations
or set aside an hour during the weekend and make dinner together.
5. 表露你的情感 而不是排斥他们
5. Encourage emotions instead of shutting them out.
Emotions are messy,
but it’s important to be mindful towards each other’s feelings.
Don’t be quick to dismiss them, especially during arguments.
Regulating your emotions can be difficult
when you’re strongly affected by a situation.
But keep in mind that a strong relationship is built upon
the ways in which we communicate our emotions.
If your child is hurting, don’t be neglectful towards them.
Even if the both of you have a hard time talking about the source of pain,
emotions can be only put off for so long until they explode.
6. 学会理解 而不是立即做出反应
6. Listen to understand, not with the intent to react.
When you’re mad or disappointed in your child,
it’s easy to listen to them just to confirm your angry emotions.
Instead of being quick to react,
take the time to listen and understand where your child is coming from.
Even if you wholeheartedly disgree with their actions or opinions,
if you choose to yell at them,
this may cause even more resentment between the both of you.
As a result, communication may suffer,
because your child may retreat and refuse to speak to you.
Learn to work out your differences
by broadening your perspective and finding a solution together
where the both of you can benefit from.
7. Respect boundaries.
Toxic behavior derives from getting rid of boundaries.
If you want to have a good relationship with your child,
manifest healthy behavior by respecting their boundaries.
This can be challenging on your end,
as your child begins wanting more privacy and freedom.
But good parenting involves providing opportunities
to make mistakes and learn from them.
Don’t rob your child of that growth.
Instead, create a safe space where failure is normalized.
Part of loving and caring for someone means
letting go when it’s necessary.
This is how trust is built.
8. Catch your child in the act of doing something right.
Teenagers often struggle with their self-confidence.
It’s important to recognize that
peer pressure can ruin you child’s self-esteem,
because popular believes aren’t always the healthiest or most nurturing.
Don’t add fuel to the hell they’re trying to walk through.
In other words, refrain from expressing harsh criticism and negativity.
Instead, focus on the deeds your child is doing right,
and praise them for those actions.
Not only will it show that you have been paying attention to them,
but this will also help boost their self-esteem.
Is your relationship with your parents disintegrating?
What do you wish to see differently?
But more importantly, what do you want to do about it?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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