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情感上成熟的八种方法

8 Ways to Become More Emotionally Mature

(gentle music)
(柔和的音乐)
– [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers,
[叙述者] 嘿《来吧!心理学》的观众们
thank you so much for the love and support
非常感谢你们所给予的
that you’ve given us.
喜爱和支持
As you know, our mission is to make psychology
如你所知 我们的目标是让心理学
more accessible to everyone.
更加受人们所理解
Before we begin,
在我们开始之前
we’d also like to give a quick shout out
我们想快速地
to all of our subscribers
对已经加入我们油管会员的
who have joined our YouTube membership.
订阅者们表示感谢
We’re so thankful for all the support that you’ve given us.
我们十分感谢大家所给予的支持
It means a lot to us,
这对我们来说意义重大
and it helps us continue what we do, as your contributions
因为你们的订阅和关注为这个频道做出了贡献
go back to investing in this channel.
我们才能继续坚持下去
Thanks for the love.
谢谢你们的喜爱
Now, onto the video.
现在 回到这个视频
Are you emotionally mature?
你情感上成熟吗?
There’s a difference between being mature
生理上的成熟和情感上的成熟
and being emotionally mature.
是有区别的
You can have a receding hairline and be over six feet tall
你的发际线可能已经开始后移 身高可能超过了六英尺
and still not be emotionally mature.
但在情感上依然没有变得成熟
So what does it mean to be emotionally mature?
所以 情感成熟究竟意味着什么呢?
When someone is emotionally mature,
当某人在情感方面成熟后
they can manage their feelings in nearly any situation.
他们几乎能在任何情况下管理好情绪
They possess empathy for others,
他们对他人怀有同情心
and often know how to deescalate a conflict if necessary.
并且总会知道 如何在必要的时候消解矛盾
They’re the person you go to
他们是那些
when you have a tough issue you need to talk about.
每当你遇到困难 需要向其求助的人
Sounds great, right?
听起来不错 对吧?
Well, to help you get a grasp on your emotions,
接下来 为了使你了解你的情绪
here are eight ways to become more emotionally mature.
这里有八种方法 让你在情感上更加地成熟
Number one, identify your emotions.
第一点 识别你的情绪
How can we get a grasp on our emotions
我们如何能在不知道我们感受的前提下
if we don’t first know what we’re feeling?
抓住我们的情绪呢?
It might seem silly that you must identify your emotions,
你必须要识别你的情绪 这看起来或许很傻
but before you get into a heated fight
但是在你开始激烈地抗争
or start breaking down into a sob,
或崩溃流泪之前
do you know what led you there?
你知道是什么让你有这样的情绪吗?
Maybe a simple irritation over a comment someone made
也许仅仅是别人说的闲话
found its way deep into your thoughts,
让你的心灵受到了深深的刺激
and you carried that anger with you for the rest of the day.
然后你在当天接下来的时间里一直为此感到生气
If you first recognize what you’re feeling,
如果你一开始就能意识到你的感受
then you can start to understand why
你就能弄明白为什么你会变成这样
and resolve it for yourself.
然后自己消化掉这个情绪
Try leaving a tally in a journal
每当你生气或恼怒的时候
every time you feel angry or irritated
试着在日记本上做一个记录
and for every time you feel sad or empty,
也在你每次感到悲伤或空虚的时候
then ask yourself why you felt that way.
问问自己为什么会有这样的情绪
Being aware and understanding why you feel these things
知道和理解自己这些情绪的原因
can help you manage your emotions.
有助于你管理自己的情绪
So, if you know you’re getting irritated at your brother
现在 如果你意识到你正在生弟弟的气
for eating the last donut, your donut,
因为他吃掉了最后一个本来属于你的甜甜圈
take a breath, and recognize
在你说出会让你后悔的话之前
that you’re simply irritated at a donut,
先深吸一口气 你要明白
before you say something you’ll regret.
惹你不高兴的只是一个甜甜圈
That irritation could turn into anger
如果你一开始没有弄清楚
for the rest of the day if you don’t first identify
不高兴的原因 你的不高兴就会
why you were even angry in the first place.
在接下来的一天里变成怒火
Now recognize your anger and acknowledge it.
所以要认识并弄清楚你的愤怒
Remind yourself that your feelings are valid,
要让自己知道 你的感受是合理的
but you don’t have to act on them.
但是你并不一定要对此作出回应
Number two.
第二点
Take responsibility.
担起责任
Have you ever denied something
你有没有否认过一些东西
just because you didn’t want to admit you were wrong?
仅仅是因为你不想承认自己的错误?
Sometimes reality can be hard to face,
有时面对现实会很艰难
but it’s more mature to take responsibility for our actions
但是更加成熟的做法是 对我们的行为负责
instead of brushing them away.
而不是抹去它们
If we simply ignore that we were wrong during an argument
如果我们在一场争论中 轻易地忽视自己的错误
or don’t take action on things that are our responsibilities,
或者不为自己负责的事采取行动
we can never learn and grow from our mistakes.
我们就无法从错误中学习和成长
Being aware, holding yourself accountable,
铭记责任 保持自己的责任心
recognizing you were wrong,
能意识到自己的错误
and learning from your mistakes
并从错误中学习
shows that you’re emotionally mature.
这是你情感成熟的标志
Not only that,
不仅这样
next time you’re in the same situation,
下次遇到同样的情况
you won’t make the same mistake twice.
你不会再犯同样的错误了
Number three.
第三点
Find a role model.
找到一个榜样
If you struggle with how quickly you react negatively
如果你苦于自己总在有压力时
in stressful situations,
下意识地做出消极反应
try looking toward someone you admire as a guide.
试着想一下你钦佩的人 把他当作参考
What would they do?
他们会怎么做呢?
If someone you admire acts in an emotionally mature
如果你钦佩的那个人在遇到困难的时候
and positive way in tough situations,
表现出情感上的成熟并且保持积极乐观
it’s great to use them as a role model,
把他们当作模范是非常棒的
like Mother Teresa,
就像特蕾莎修女
what a role model.
多么棒的一位模范啊
It’s important of course,
当然很重要的是
not lose track of who you are.
不要迷失了自己
You don’t wanna become your role model and lose yourself.
你不会想为了成为你的偶像却失去了自己
You just wanna learn how they handle situations so well.
你只想向他们学习如何妥善处理各种情况
Maybe they have a great work ethic that you admire,
也许他们会有你欣赏的良好的职业道德
and try it out.
那就试试看
How do they handle negative feedback?
当面对不好的反馈时 他们是如何处理的呢?
Calm and smoothly?
保持心平气和然后顺利处理完吗?
Worth the try.
值得一试
So next time you’re in a tough situation,
所以 下次当你处在一个困难的情况中时
think, what would Mother Teresa do?
想一想 特蕾莎修女会做什么呢?
Number four.
第四点
Keep a thought diary.
写思想日记
Do you suffer from negative thoughts?
你受苦于消极的想法吗?
Are you constantly discouraging yourself?
你会时常自发得变沮丧吗?
Do you point out flaws
每当在你照镜子或
every time you look in the mirror,
完成一个项目的时候
or complete a project?
你会挑剔缺点吗?
It’s important to our mental health
努力产生积极的想法
that we work towards having positive thoughts
而不是消极想法
as opposed to negative ones.
这对我们的精神健康很重要
While we may think, oh,
然而我们可能会想 噢
it’s just one negative thought,
这只不过是一个消极想法
no big deal.
没什么大不了
These negative comments we make to ourselves
于是这些我们对自己的消极评价
start to pile up.
开始日积月累
Soon, you’re left with a harsh thinking pattern
不久后 当你一开始思考
that will often take the lead
你就只会用严苛的思考模式
when it comes to what you think.
来引导你的想法
These thought processes are usually automatic
这些思维模式通常都是下意识的
and can become habitual.
并且会成为习惯
We don’t wanna think of ourselves,
我们不想用消极的眼光
or others in a negative light,
看待自己和他人
but negativity can find a way inside of our minds.
但消极想法可能会主动找上门来
A good way to think positive
一种积极思考的好方法是
is to practice cognitive restructuring.
练习认知重建
This can be done by keeping a thought diary.
这可以由写思想日记来完成
Write down what you feel every day.
写下你每天的感受
What were some thoughts that raced through your mind?
那些在你的头脑里快速运行的想法是什么?
What did you stress about?
你在对什么感到紧张?
Was it worth it?
值得吗?
What are some alternative ways to look at the situation?
有其他的方式去看待这件事吗?
Our worry can be valid,
我们有焦虑的情绪是没错的
but when we open up diary
但当我们打开日记本
and see the same thoughts take up our day
看到这些焦虑一次又一次地
over and over,
占据了我们一整天
we may realize they weren’t worth worrying about at all.
我们也许就能明白 这些焦虑根本不值得
When we recognize this,
当我们意识到这一点
we can start to move on and come up with practical solutions
我们就能往前看了 并就如何消解我们的压力和负面想法
on how to resolve our stress and negative thoughts.
想出实际的解决方案
We can always counteract the negative thoughts
我们也能通过在旁边写下一个积极的想法
by writing a positive one beside it as well.
来消解负面想法
Number five.
第五点
Learn to be open-minded.
学会开放思想
Emotionally mature people understand
情感上成熟的人明白
they don’t have all the answers.
他们不是无所不知的
That’s why it’s best to open our minds
这就是为什么最好对其他的观点持开放的态度
to other perspectives besides simply our own.
而不是固执己见
We may have a strong opinion on certain subjects,
我们也许会对某一话题有强烈的个人观点
but it doesn’t hurt to actively listen
但这并不影响我们积极主动地
to another’s opposing opinion
去听取其他人反对的意见
instead of thinking about ways we can persuade them
而不是去想 我们该怎么去说服他们
that they’re wrong.
证明他们是错的
It’s best not to judge someone or something right away.
最好不要立刻去评判一些人或一些事
If we learn to be open-minded,
如果我们即使是面对小事
even with the little things,
也学会保持开放的心态
we give ourselves the chance to try something new.
我们就能获得体验新事物的机会
We can enjoy different films or literature
我们可以去欣赏不同的电影或文学作品
we might not have thought was our taste.
哪怕我们曾经觉得它们不对口味
Try a unique recipe.
也可以去尝试一个独特的烹饪配方
And most importantly,
最重要的是
hear others out.
听取别人的意见
We may learn thing from listening to another’s perspective
我们也许能从别人的角度中有所收获
and we may realize we were wrong.
甚至可以发现我们之前的错误
We can still choose our opinions in the end,
我们最后依然可以保持己见
but this is after we’ve listened
但做这个决议之前我们要先
with an open mind to the other’s beliefs or arguments,
怀着开放的心态去倾听别人的主张或者观点
even if we don’t agree,
即使在我们最后没有赞同他们
we may understand them a little bit more
我们至少能更了解他们一点
and that can be powerful.
这种理解可以让我们变得强大
As our role model Mother Teresa has advised,
正如我们的模范特蕾莎修女所建议的那样
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them”.
“如果你老是去评价别人 你将没有时间去给予爱”
Number six.
第六点
Embrace reality.
拥抱现实
Do you often beat yourself up
你会经常因为个人的局限和缺点
because of your circumstances and your flaws?
而做自我批评吗
Remember negative thoughts?
记得你的消极想法吗?
Do they spend a lot of time dwelling on your reality?
它们是否在现实中长时间与你作伴?
Instead of dwelling on your flaws,
不要纠结你的缺点
or even suppressing them,
甚至也不要去掩盖它们
accept and embrace them.
接受和拥抱它们
This is your life.
这就是你的人生
Instead of ignoring your struggles,
与其试图忘却你的痛苦
find a way to be at peace with them.
不如找到一个与它们和平相处的方式
If you can change it, work towards change.
如果你能改变这些缺点 就努力去改变
If you can’t, embrace who you are, where you are,
如果你不能 接受自己的本质 坦然面对自己的处境
and work towards what will make you smile.
并且努力去让自己变得开心
Embracing this will not only give you clarity
接受这些不仅会让你朝着一个清晰的方向前进
to move forward, but peace as well.
也能带来内心的平和
Mother Teresa’s wise tips on peace,
特蕾莎修女关于保持内心平和的好方法是
“Peace begins with a smile”.
“平静始于微笑”
Number seven.
第七点
Pause and be patient.
停一下 而且要有耐心
Have you ever been in a heated argument
你是否在一次激烈的讨论中
and said something you didn’t mean,
说出一些不是你真正想说的话
and later regretted it?
然后马上就后悔了?
This is likely because we act on impulse when upset.
这很可能是因为在我们焦躁时会变得更加冲动
If we take a moment to pause and reflect
如果我们花些时间停下来反思
we can then begin to say what we really mean,
我们便可以表达出我们真正的想法
simply expressing how we feel and why
明确地表达我们的感受和原因
can turn a situation around
才能扭转情况
by not only making the other person understand you
这靠的不仅是其他人对你的理解
but yourself as well.
你也要理解自己
Choose to pause in a stressful or confusing situation
选择在有压力或有疑虑的地方停下来
to give yourself the option to consciously choose
给自己一个清醒地选择接下来
how you want to react.
该如何反应的机会
It will only lead you on the path to emotional maturity.
这会引导你走向情感成熟之路
And number eight.
第八点
Live in the present.
活在当下
Dwelling on the past can cause us sadness and regret.
沉浸在过去会导致我们的悲伤和懊悔
Dwelling on the future,
活在未来
don’t even get me started on how stressful.
甚至不要一开始就让自己充满压力
So, while we can learn from our past
这样 我们从过去的经历中学习的同时
and make choices for our future,
也能为未来做出选择
we need to learn to live in the present.
我们需要学会活在当下
If we’re present
如果我们清楚自己活在当下
and make conscious decisions,
并做出了明智的决定
we’re less likely to react negatively,
我们就很少会产生消极的反应
or fall into old habits.
或者拣回旧习
Being present is powerful.
活在当下给我们强大的力量
It’s the only moment we can act, choose,
这是我们唯一可以行动 选择
experience and enjoy,
体验和享受的时刻
if we allow ourselves to.
我们要提醒自己这样去做
We can’t change the past,
我们不能改变过去
and we can’t jump to the future,
并且也不能跳到未来
so why waste the precious time we have dwelling upon them?
所以为什么要浪费珍贵的时间沉溺于过去和未来中呢?
Life is happening now, as we speak,
生活正在上演 就像我们所说的
in front of you,
就在你面前
and as Mother Teresa would say,
并且特蕾莎修女会说
“Yesterday is gone.
“昨天已经过去
Tomorrow has not yet come.
明天还没有到来
We have only today.
我们只有今天
Let us begin”.
让我们珍惜当下吧”
So, are you emotionally mature?
所以 你在情感上成熟了吗?
Did you find these tips helpful?
你认为这些方法有帮助吗?
Let us know which one of these tips
在评论区留言 告诉我们
you’ll follow in the comments below.
你选择的是哪一个方法
Make sure to like and subscribe to Psych2Go
一定要点赞并订阅我们的频道
for more psychology content and advice.
这里会有更多的心理学方面的内容和建议
And if you know someone who’s emotionally immature,
并且如果你认识的人有谁在情感上不成熟
it might not hurt to share this video.
分享这个视频给他们吧 这么做也不会伤害感情
Emotional maturity, here you come.
情感成熟 不就来了嘛

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视频概述

结合心理学的知识与技巧,帮助你走向情感成熟之路。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Vivian

审核员

审核员YUWI

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxCvJJv2vw8

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