– [Voiceover] Hey, Psych2Goers,
嗨 Psych2Go的用户们
welcome back to another video.
欢迎回来
Ever feel like people aren’t listening or paying attention to you?
你们是否曾觉得不被倾听或关注？
Or have you ever wondered, are people ignoring me?
或是否感到疑惑 人们这是在无视我吗？
Why?
为什么会这样呢？
Being ignored is painful and can be confusing,
被忽视很痛苦 也让人困惑
especially when it’s coming from people you know and love.
尤其是被你熟悉和爱的人忽视
Regardless of who it is
不管是谁
that’s giving you the silent treatment,
对你不理不睬
you may want to understand why
你都想知道为什么
and what you can do to remedy it.
以及如何解决
So with that said, here are eight subtle habits
说到这儿 我来介绍8个
that make people ignore you.
让别人忽视你的微妙习惯
Number one, you’re trying too hard.
第一 你太拼了
We want to make connections with people who we find interesting.
我们想和自己认为有趣的人交往
We know that that requires initiating
我们知道那需要接触
and maintaining contact
和保持联系
and allowing a connection to grow over time.
还得让这段关系随着时间变得牢固
When you’re forcing interactions with people,
当你硬要和别人交流
it turns them away from you.
就会让别人远离你
They can tell you’re being disingenuous
他们会断定你是虚伪的
by changing your personality depending on who you’re around.
因为你会随周围人的不同而改变你的个性
While relationships with friends
尽管朋友间的关系
are not like those with your colleagues,
不像同事之间那样
when you’re trying too hard to be someone you’re not,
但当你拼命成为不像自己的人
people can sense your desperation
别人就会感受到你的拼命
and might pull away.
他们可能就跑掉了
Number two, you’re selfish.
第二 你太自私
Even though the word narcissism has a bad reputation,
尽管“自恋”这个词名声不好
having healthy narcissism is good.
但健康的自恋是好的
It’s self-confidence and a good view of yourself,
它是自信和自我肯定的表现
which is normal and necessary.
这是正常的 也是必要的
However, when you only ever talk about yourself
然而 当你只谈论自己
and steal the spotlight from others socially,
在社交时博取他人的注意
that can make people resent you
那会让人们讨厌你
because you don’t contribute to the group
因为其他人在群体里分享时
where others share.
你没有为大家贡献
If you think that only you deserve the compliments
如果你觉得只有你值得赞美
and the limelight,
和成为别人的焦点
and that everyone else must hear about your trip to Paris,
其他人必须听你讲去巴黎的旅行
they’ll see that as arrogance and disengage.
他们会把那看成自大的表现 然后就不理你了
And if you’re the friend
如果你是一个
who always conveniently forgets their wallet
总忘记考虑对方钱包的朋友
and your friends have to pay for you,
你的朋友要为你买单
oh boy, that might be your last free dinner.
我的天 那可能是你最后一顿免费的晚餐
Three, you’re disengaged.
第三 你参与度低
When you’re around friends or colleagues,
当你和朋友或同事在一起
engaging in conversations can bring about increased morale
参与聊天能带来更振奋的精神状态
or just a time to vent.
或只是一个宣泄的时间
When you’re too socially passive or lack assertiveness,
当你社交时太被动或缺少魄力
people could see this as aloofness
人们可能认为你高冷
or that you’re not interested in the conversation
或者你对聊天内容不感兴趣
and start ignoring you.
那么他们就会无视你
We all enjoy engaging with people who interact in return,
我们都喜欢和与我们互动的人交谈
so the passivity could make them ignore you.
所以被动可能会让他们忽视你
Number four, you’re extremely negative.
第四 你太消极
Negative people are tiring to be around.
有消极的人在身边会令人感到厌烦
It’s like running a marathon that never ends.
就像跑一场永不结束的马拉松
Your energy is depleted and you just want to get away.
你的精力被耗尽 你只想退出
Being angry and depressed occasionally is fine
偶尔愤怒和沮丧是可以的
because emotions are normal,
因为有情绪很正常
but people will run and hide from negativity.
但人们会逃离和躲避消极
If you’re a person who is hypocritical of others,
如果你太矫情
never happy, and prefers to be miserable,
你从不开心 总是表现得很痛苦
then people will ignore you
那么人们就会无视你
because the chronic negativity is contagious.
因为长期的消极会传染
Five, your body language is repelling them.
第五 你的肢体语言在抵触他们
You don’t have to be an expert in body language
你不需要成为身体语言的专家
to pick up on when someone doesn’t like you
也能在有人不喜欢你
or is disinterested in your opinion,
或对你的观点不感兴趣时 发现这些信号
because we are all social creatures.
因为我们都是社会性动物
We generally understand social cues
我们大概都懂社交时的暗示
and what they mean in certain contexts.
以及这些暗示在特定语境下的含义
If you think that people are ignoring you,
如果你觉得人们在忽视你
a surprising reason could be
一个令你意外的原因可能是
that your body language is uninviting or defensive.
你的肢体语言可能表示不欢迎或是戒备的
You don’t have to have your arms out all the time
你不必总是伸出双臂
to convey openness,
去表达坦诚
but generally constricting poses like folding your arms,
但通常收缩的姿势 比如手臂叠放
frowning and looking away is usually a sign
皱眉和目光转移
that you’re not interested,
通常标志着你不感兴趣
and people might pick up on that and choose to stay away.
这时人们可能注意到这些姿势并选择远离
Number six, you don’t take responsibility.
第六 你不负责任
Another habit that makes people ignore you
另一个让别人忽视你的习惯
is being irresponsible and then not owning up to it.
是你不负责任 还不承认
Being an actual victim is a horrible thing to happen,
成为一个真正的受害者是件糟糕的事
but when you’re the perpetual victim,
但当你总是受害者
people aren’t going to want to be around you.
人们就不想和你在一起了
If you’re someone who’s never guilty
如果你是一个从不感到愧疚或从不觉得错了的人
or at fault even when you are,
即使你确实错了
that behavior is a good reason
那么你的行为
for people to have no contact with you.
是一个让人们不联系你的好理由
You can be a victim sometimes,
你可以有时候成为受害者
but you can’t be a victim all the time.
但不能总是
Not taking responsibility for your actions
不为你的行为和后果负责
and the consequences makes you undesirable, number one.
会让你成为不受欢迎头一号
Number seven, you’re too intense.
第七 你太过激烈
Passion is a beautiful thing.
有激情是好事
It’s the driving force of creation
它是创造力的源泉
and an admirable, attractive trait in a person,
是一个人身上值得敬佩 有吸引力的特征
especially when their passion
尤其当他们的激情
is about something in their life.
关乎他们生命中重要的事情
The opposite side of that is when a person’s passion
而对立面 是当一个人的激情
leads them to being domineering and controlling.
让他们变得跋扈和有控制欲
A social tyrant who wants to micromanage everything
就像一个社交场合的暴君 想要牢牢控制
that everyone does.
每个人所做的每件事
They don’t care about the best place for their friends
他们不在意最适合朋友们
to go to dinner collectively.
聚餐的地方
They will choose one, and that’s the end of the story.
他们会代为选择一个地方 这就是故事的结束
This behavior is seen as bossy,
这种行为被认为是专横的
and no one likes being bullied into things.
没有人喜欢被“霸凌”
And finally, number eight, you’re too needy.
最后 第八点 你太需要被关注
Asking for advice and assurance from friends is normal,
向朋友寻求建议和帮助很正常
especially when you’re going through something difficult.
尤其当你正经历困难
It feels good to know that you have someone to lean on.
知道自己有人可以依靠是一种美好的感受
But if you’re the type of friend or colleague
但如果你是那种朋友或同事
that needs to be constantly validated on their work
是那种需要在工作中持续被肯定
or it needs constant unnecessary approval to do something,
或者需要持续的不必要的赞同
that can be a downer and draining for the people around you.
你会成为一个令人沮丧的人 让你身边的人感到疲惫
If you’re not standing on your own sometimes,
如果你有时不独立
and constantly going to others for help,
总是向其他人寻求帮助
people will see that as being clingy and needy
人们会觉得你粘人 需要得到他人的关注
and will start ignoring you.
他们就会开始忽视你了
It might help to take other factors into account,
当然除了这些 还会有其他的影响因素
like how being unable to read and give social cues
比如 不能读懂或发出社交信号
could be a reason,
如何成为被忽视的原因
or how having social anxiety can be relevant.
或者是 有社交焦虑和被忽视是如何产生关联的
Have any of these points resonated with you?
这些问题是否和你产生共鸣？
If so, they may be clues on what habits
如果是 它们可能就是线索
might be off-putting.
让你找出什么习惯可能是令人讨厌的
If you like this video,
如果你喜欢这个视频
make sure to share it with friends
记得分享给朋友
and let us know if you did in the comment below.
分享后记得在下面的评论区留言

As always, the studies and references
和往常一样 相关研究和参考文献
are listed in the description box.
列在描述框中
Until next time, and thanks for watching.
下次见 感谢观看