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社交无能的同学看过来

8 Practical First Impression Techniques - How to impress your crush, a boss, and a whole crowd!

嗨 大家好
Hey, guys, this is gonna be a video collaboration
这是Kreative Vein和实用心理学的合作视频
between kreative Vein (KV) and practical psychology.
请到简介里查看更多此类内容
So check out this description for more videos like this.
有些人会给人一种不友好的感觉
Have you ever seen someone
你曾遇到过这种人吗?
just got that feeling that they aren’t friendly?
那你遇到过那种温暖 有魅力的人吗
Or have you ever met someone that was warm and inviting,
你是不是立即和他们成为朋友了呢?
and became friends with them immediately?
看吧 不管老师怎么谆谆教诲
See, you judge a person like the cover of a book,
你还是会以貌取人
no matter what your teachers taught you.
所以我们要知道谁值得信任
It’s how we of all that we need to know who is trustworthy,
谁是领导 谁应该被远离
who is a leader and who you should stay away from.
今天我们要学习八个心理学技巧
Today, we are going to be going over 8 psychological tricks.
它们会帮你在陌生环境中通过第一印象脱颖而出
They would help you nail your first impression in alien environment.
1. 练习自信的肢体语言
No.1 Practice confident body language.
关于肢体语言有很多相关研究
There’ve been many studies conducted that show
你的肢体语言不仅影响到自己的心理
that your body language not only influences your physiology,
还会影响你周围人的本质
but also the nature of the people that are around you.
如果你交叉双臂 紧张地抖脚
If you have your arms crossed, your feet taping nervously and
并把双腿在椅子下面交叉
you have your legs in a crisscross position under your chair,
你就会给人一种羞怯和格格不入的感觉
you’ll be seen as timid and closed off.
你不要期待别人帮你打破僵局
Instead of hoping that someone help you break out of it,
你需要自己来做
you have to do yourself.
可以在家练习直直地坐着
Practice at home by sitting up straight,
打开双臂 伸开双腿
opening your arms up and widening your legs
尽可能占据房间里的更多空间
as it takes up more space in the room.
养成了这个习惯 你确实就会觉得更加自信
You’ll appear and actually feel more confident if you make this a habit.
有许多事情需要你做 这些事情在生理上会影响到你的精神状态
There’s plenty of things you can do that physiologically
会影响到别人如何看你
affect your mental state and how others see you.
试着抬起你的下巴 这样看起来更自信
Try to place your chin straight up to look confident.
走路的时候肩膀后收 挺起胸膛
Walk with your shoulder’s back and your chest forward
和别人交谈时要直视对方的眼睛
and look people in the eye when you’re talking to them.
2. 准时
Step No.2 Be on time.
准时这一条适用于许多生意场合
That applies to many business situations,
不管是求职面试 见导师 还是上课
whether that be a job interview or a mentorship or even just a class,
你都需要无条件地按时到达
you’d be on time and there’s no excuse.
如果有重要会议 你需要提前准备 提早到达
If this is an important meeting, set decided time to get ready
还要留下缓冲时间
to get there early and some buffer time just in case of
以免交通堵塞或者错过航班之类的事情发生
something like extra traffic or you’re missing a flight.
准时能表明你的态度很认真
Being on time shows that you take them seriously.
但是也有一些你可以迟到的场合
However, there are times that you can be late
我会在第8条详细叙述
and I’ll be going over that in step 8.
我以前玩过乐队 事实上我是和一些陌生人合作吹长笛的
I used to be in band, and in fact I played the flutes for
你要知道长笛并不是女孩儿玩的乐器
those who you don’t know, and know it’s not a girly instrument.
不管怎么说 乐队里有一句名言
Anyways, they had the saying in band.
“早到代表你准时
“If you are early, you’re on time.
准时代表迟到
“If you are on time, you’re late.
迟到就干脆别来了”
“And if you are late, you’re already running lapses.”
我认为这句话也可以应用到生活中
I think this can be applied to life too.
想买一件新产品 若你晚去超市的话 就意味着你要花更多钱
If you’re late to market it with a new product, you’re going to lose money.
如果你求职面试迟到的话
And if you’re late to a job interview,
那么你被雇用的几率就会很低
you’re going to have a lower chance of getting hired.
3. 恰当运用声音
Tip No.3 is to use your tone.
这是你肯定可以练习的另一个关键
And this is another tone that you can definitely practice.
洗澡时伴着音乐练习你的声音
Do this with music in a shower
或者你可以通过Skype和他人在线谈论
or talking to people online through skype.
学习使用从胸膛而非鼻子里发出声音
Learn to use your voice from your chest and not your nose,
这样你的命令就会得到更多的尊重
and you’ll command much more respect.
听起来非常自信并提高你的声音
Sound very confident and project your voice up.
一条小建议就是把嘴张大一点
A little tip is to open your mouth wider
这样就能使更多的声音从嘴里发出来
to allow some of the sounds to come out more.
和说话的方式相比 说话的内容才更重要
What’s that are spoken hardly matter, compared to ways the words are spoken.
神经语言项目基本上就是说话的科学
Neuro linguistic programming is basically the science of
以及这些话是如何影响你周围的人的
what you say and how it affects those around you.
但是你说话的方式可是个大学问
But how you say it can mean so much more
如果本视频有足够多的赞 我会制作另一个此类视频
If there isn’t enough likes in this video, I may make another video on NLP.
解释一下如何运用关键词之类的把人们送上正轨
And how to use keywords and things like that put people on the transits.
声音较高完全没问题
It’s all right to have a higher pitch voice and
你只需学会如何有效使用你的高音 它就能成为一个很好的工具
if you learn how to use it effectively, it can be a great tool.
而且还会一直听起来很自信
Just always sound confident.
4. 在说话过程中避免说“嗯”和“啊”等词
Tip No.4 is to remove the words “Um” and “Ah”.
因为“嗯”代表你理屈词穷
So um continuing um with previous example.
如果你对这个世界有颇多见解
Ah, if you have the vast content in the world,
但每句话都会带“嗯”或“啊”之类的词
but every sentence has an um or ah or like,
那别人就不会听你说话
and then you’ll not be heard.
就像查理·布朗一样 此时你的观众听到的只有哇哇哇哇哇
Like Charlie Brown, your audience will only hear Wah wah wah wah wah.
在家练习说话是一种很好的方式
Practicing your speech at home is a great way to
它能提高你的音调并消除你言辞里的恐惧
improve your tonality to remove your fear of words
让你变成一个更自信的说话者
and become a more confident speaker.
我发现在公共场合听你说话的人越多
I find that there are more and more people you speak to in public,
你就越应该避免声音过低的问题
the better you get at avoiding this,
尤其是当你致力于用一两件事
especially if you focus on filling that silence
填补沉默的时候
with one of two things.
你会用更多的沉默填充它吗
No.1 You can fill it with more silence
大多数人很少这样做
which rarely is what most people do,
因为这样就等于在强迫其他人说话
but this will force the other person to talk
除非你俩都对谈话中的沉默感到非常舒适
unless you both are comfortable with the silence.
其次 用其它词和有意义的句子来填补沉默
The second is to fill it with other words and meaningful sentences.
关键词是有意义的
The key word is meaningful.
如果你去看政治辩论
If you watch any of the political debates,
就会发现2016年的主要候选人
you can tell that both of the main 2016 candidates
都极度擅长填补沉默
are extremely good at using filling sentences.
他们的话没有任何实际意义 但听起来就是不像废话
They don’t really mean much, but sound like they do.
5. 修饰
Tip No.5 is grooming.
修饰是关键 因为人们首要是看脸
Grooming is key, because the first thing that people look at is the face.
如果你牙齿很黄 头发很糟
If you have yellow teeth, bad hair and
最近都没剃胡子 或者修整胡子
you haven’t shaved recently or at least maintain your facial hair.
别人就会假定你身上有异味
People will also assume that you smell bad
就不会想和你发生联系
and won’t wanna associate with you.
我知道做这种假设存在政治上的不正确性
I know it’s politically incorrect to make these assumptions,
但是大家仍然都这样做 这才是关键
but people still do it, and that’s the point.
由于喝太多咖啡 我个人一直受牙黄的困扰
I personally struggle with yellower teeth since I drink a lot of coffee,
但我找到了几种有效的应对方式
but I have found a few effective ways to help.
有很多视频教程供你观看 还有相关产品供你购买
There’re also tons of tutorials you can watch and products you can buy
这些都能帮你以一种更有魅力的方式打理自己的头发
to help style your hair in a more attracting manner.
而在社交媒体上 外貌意味着更多
Appearance just matter even more today with social media.
在遇到一个人之前
We may get their first impression from
我们就可能通过个人相片对他产生了第一印象
a profile picture before even meeting you.
所以请确保一月理一次发 剃干净胡须 保持精干
So be sure to get a haircut at least once a month, clean up and look sharp.
然后推荐大家看一下Alpha M关于如何拍照的视频
I also suggest watching Alpha M’s video on how to take a profile picture.
6. 服装
Tip No.6 is attire.
你所穿的衣服也很重要
Attire in the cloth you wear is important as well, because
因为当你面对一个人时 他会以你的穿着评价你
after your face people judge you based on what you wearing.
比如说我有一个朋友 他去应聘当地的杂货店
Say I had a friend to apply to a local grocery store.
他去参加面试时穿的是系扣领衬衫
He went in for the interview, wearing a button-down shirt,
宽松长裤和漂亮的皮鞋
slacks and some nice dress shoes.
现在你可能会说这样穿很普通呀 但是面试的时候就该这么穿
Now, you can say that this is normal, but it’s also for an interview.
但是我这位朋友就算是在收银或者补进存货的时候也会穿这样的服装
But he wears the same attire even when he is cashiering or restocking.
事实上 当他在雇用过程中的首次公开亮相
In fact, when he was getting show around at the beginning of the hiring process
就已经被打上了可以被雇用的徽章
and he had a store badge on,
在那里工作的员工都觉得他是一个可以合作的人
everyone who already work there thought that he was coperate,
尤其是因为他穿着漂亮 能和经理侃侃而谈
specifically because he was dressed nice and talking to the managers.
这个故事中令人震惊的一点是 他才19岁
The shocking part of the story is that he is only 19 years old.
你知道他通过自己的穿着从长辈那里
Do you know how much respect he gets from the older folks
收获了多少尊重吗?
from dressing like that?
他说第二天有个人来到店里 要买一台电视
He said some guy came in on the second day
然后这位年老的顾客就看也没看电视上的灰尘
asking him which TV to buy and then the older gentleman
直接买下了
bought the TV without even looking at the specks.
我不知道这是否是尊重 但我觉得很有趣
I don’t know if this is respect or not, but I thought it was interesting.
在你出席会议的时候 如果你想令别人印象深刻
All right, so at a meeting, come in with a fitted suit
那你要以一身得体的服装出席
if you really want to impress them.
据我了解服装配置
What I’ve learned is that the suit doesn’t have to be
不必过于昂贵或过于高质量
expensive or high quality for most settings,
关键是要适合你
the key factors is that it fits well.
如果你看过Alpha M关于此话题的视频
If you have watched any of Alpha M’s video on this topic
他说过适合自己的就是正确的
the main thing is that the suit fits you right.
如果你身体比较结实 衣服紧紧裹在你身上
If you have a solid body, with the suit that hugs you
你就会鹤立鸡群
you’ll be miles ahead of most people who have suits
别人就会觉得你把你叔叔的衣服穿过来了
that hang off them as if they wear their uncles’.
如果你穿的过于宽松 别人就会觉得你是唱流行音乐的
Or that they look like they’re about to pop.
关于穿着 务必适合你以及当时的场合
For all clothing, get items that fit and suit your style in the environment.
除非你是马克·扎克伯格 否则你不会想穿着t恤和牛仔裤
You don’t wanna be wearing a T-shirt and jeans around a cooperate meeting
就去出席合作会议
unless you’re Mark Zuckerberg.
7. 眼神交流
Tip No.7 is eye contact.
保持眼神交流是人际关系中的另一个关键
Holding eye contact is another key step.
当你凝视某人的时候
You don’t wanna come off as to intimidating you’re creepy
你总不会想以一种吓人和诡异的方式吧
when you’re staring at someone.
你也根本不想以一种没有眼神交流的谦恭而害羞的方式出场
But you don’t want come off as meek and shy with no eye contact at all.
如果你和他人进行眼神交流
If you make eye contact to someone,
假如说在健身房你和他人三次眼神交流
say, at the gym and you do it more than three times,
那么在没有任何简短谈话的前提下
do not go the fourth time
就不要进行第四次眼神交流了
without striking up some sort of short conversation,
否则你看起来就像健身房里的怪叔叔
or you will be the weird guy in the gym
在办公室之类的地方也应遵循同样的原则
or the office, or wherever this is.
还有如果你正在观看某人谈话或听某人讲课
Also, if you’re observing someone speaking
你应该遵循80/20原则
or giving a lecture, go with the 80/20 rule
也就是说80%的时间看着这个人
which is to look at the person for 80% of the time
20%的时间看向别处
and then look away for 20%.
很明显这个原则并没有确切的科学道理
This obviously isn’t an exact science
但是它是一个非常有用的指导
but having a guidline will help tremendously.
8. 了解你的听众
Tip No.8 is to know your audience.
这是最后一个步骤
Now this is a final step.
你不会穿着T恤去参加会议
You wouldn’t wear a T-shirt to a meeting
去朋友家玩儿时也不会穿上正装
and you wouldn’t wear a suit to a friend’s house to hangout.
我确信我提到这一点有点废话的意思
And I sure with that for I mentioned earlier.
因为这是相当明显的事情
This is pretty obvious, but knowing this can help you adapt
但是它能帮你适应新环境 尤其是当你结识陌生人的时候
to new situations, specifically when meeting new people and
它能帮你在待人接物方面更加自信
helping you become more confident when meeting them.
在闲谈时
When speaking at the casual conversation,
说一些令人尴尬的故事可以促使你们敞开心扉
telling embarrassing stories can also help both of you open up,
但一定不要贬低身份或者伤害到他人的感情
but make sure that is not demeaning or hurting anyone else’s feelings.
因为伤害他人的自尊会使你看起来具有侵略性
As a blow to someone’s ego can also make you seem aggressive,
没有人真的想要和这种人一起出去玩
nobody really wants to hang around someone
他们总觉得这些人会嘲笑自己 或者把自己晾在一边
they feel will mock them or call them out.
最后 你需要了解你的听众
In the end though, you want to know your audience,
了解一下哪些笑话他可以接受 哪些不可以
understand which jokes are acceptable,
你可以通过调查他们的文化背景做到这一点
and which are not, and you can do this by researching their culture.
以上就是我们向你提供的提高人际交往能力的步骤
So, we have provided you with the steps you’re improving in each area.
大家要做的就是通过每一次的锻炼养成这些习惯
So all you have to do is to make them habits one at a time.
如果你做不到 就在一个特定的话题上实现这些步骤
If you can’t, focus on one specific topic and work on it,
这将逐渐改善你的性格
they will slowly becoming grand into your character
最终使你在待人接物方面变得越来越自信
eventually become more and more confident when you meet more people.
本视频由我和Kreative Vein联手制作
This video was created with the help of Kreative Vein(KV)
Kreative Vein频道里有很多更棒的视频
who has more great videos just like this one on his channel.
我强烈推荐大家去观看这些视频
I highly suggest going and checking it out.
若你喜欢本视频 请点赞 若想了解更多内容 请订阅
If you like this video, like it. And if you want more, subscribe!
感谢观看
Thanks for watching!
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视频概述

关于提高第一印象的8个超实用技巧。

听录译者

Belle

翻译译者

ABC

审核员

审核员 LD

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcJ7JCKdcIY

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