Families are supposed to be the people you can lean on during tough times.
At the end of the day,
you know you can rely on them,
and that they’ll love you even through thick and thin.
But what about those of us who come from dysfunctional families?
And are the signs always clear and obvious
or can they be subtle and deceiving?
Here are 8 common characteristics of a dysfunctional family.
Roughly 45% of the U.S. population
has been exposed to some form of alcoholism
or alcoholic behavior in their family.
That’s as many as 76 million people.
And approximately 26 million of those people are children.
上瘾可以是毒品 酒精 或二者组合
The addiction can be drugs, alcohol, or a combination of both.
Addicted parents can have negative financial, communicative,
or connective impacts on the family,
affecting every family member’s ability
to form close, healthy relationships with others.
This one can be difficult to spot,
especially if a family looks picture-perfect on the outside.
When perfectionism is highly regarded,
and children have to bear their parents’ unrealistic expectations,
they may grow up with self-image and self-esteem issues,
believing they’ll never be good enough.
They also have a hard time going to
their parents when they need emotional support,
因此 他们可能学会了封闭自己 很难相信别人
so they may learn to close themselves up and have trouble trusting people.
When parents prioritize performance and results,
their children never learn to accept and improve upon their mistakes.
Abuse is another common characteristic of a dysfunctional family.
It can be physical, emotional, and/or sexual.
父母 父母与孩子 兄弟姐妹之间都可能发生虐待
Abuse can occur between parents, parent and child, or siblings.
People use abuse to punish their families
for unwanted behavior, and stay in control
when they believe they’ve been betrayed.
If you think you’re being abused,
we encourage you to call your emergency hotline number.
4.Unpredictability and fear
Unpredictability and fear go hand-in-hand.
It’s a pattern often produced from abuse,
but can also stem from a family member’s financial or emotional instability.
Children who come from an unpredictable household
suffer from low self-esteem issues,
and either grow up to become extremely responsible crowd-pleasers
or end up mirroring their parents’ toxic behaviors.
当一个家庭不允许其成员发展个人信念 心愿 兴趣
Unpredictability and fear are results of overly rigid or religious upbringings,
when a family doesn’t allow family members
to form their own beliefs, aspirations, and interests.
In dysfunctional families, conditional love is exercised by manipulative people.
When a parent or spouse only
gives others love when they want something,
they’re either insecure or selfish.
For instance, a selfish mother
might show love and support to their child
just so that when the child reaches adulthood,
they will take care of her.
When love is conditional, it can make family members feel used or cheated.
6.Lack of boundaries
When a family doesn’t establish healthy boundaries,
members will often feel like they have no privacy,
or aren’t being respected.
Parent who see their children
as trophies or extensions of themselves are narcissistic,
causing children to feel confused about their own identities
when they aren’t properly nurtured or encouraged.
Boundaries are blurred when a parent tries to be controlling or dominant through anger.
And children feel like they have no choice
but to act or behave in certain ways to please their parent.
As a result, they grow up feeling alienated or lost,
and become overly self-critical.
7.Lack of intimacy
Dysfunctional families often mistake codependency as intimacy.
In healthy families, parents teach their children how to be self-efficient.
But if a parent is scared of letting go,
they’ll make claims about being able to live
without their kids if they grow up and leave.
Likewise, a spouse who may show excessive clinginess to their partner.
It’s important for family members to be with each other
because they want to, not because they have to.
Ultimately, love is a selfless act,
and should never be pressured or forced.
Family conflicts typically stem from poor communication.
When people can’t express themselves due to strained or nonexistant communication,
they feel unheard, invisible, or misunderstood.
Overall, dysfunctional families don’t practice healthy communication skills,
so members can be quick to react
rather than waiting to listen and understand.
The resulting arguments cause daily stress
and challenges that tear the family apart.
Does your family identify with any of these characteristics?
What methods have you tried to bring the family back together?
Feel free to share your stories in the comments below.
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