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不健全家庭的8个特征 – 译学馆
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不健全家庭的8个特征

8 Common Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family

家人应该是在困难时能依靠的人
Families are supposed to be the people you can lean on during tough times.
归根结底
At the end of the day,
你知道他们可以依靠
you know you can rely on them,
无论怎样 他们都会爱你
and that they’ll love you even through thick and thin.
但是那些来自不健全家庭的人是什么情况呢
But what about those of us who come from dysfunctional families?
不健全家庭的标志是清楚明晰的
And are the signs always clear and obvious
还是微妙与迷惑性的呢?
or can they be subtle and deceiving?
以下是不健全家庭的8种普遍特征
Here are 8 common characteristics of a dysfunctional family.
1.上瘾
1.Addiction
美国近45%的家庭
Roughly 45% of the U.S. population
存在某些形式的嗜酒
has been exposed to some form of alcoholism
或酗酒行为
or alcoholic behavior in their family.
那就是7600万人
That’s as many as 76 million people.
其中大约2600万是孩子
And approximately 26 million of those people are children.
上瘾可以是毒品 酒精 或二者组合
The addiction can be drugs, alcohol, or a combination of both.
瘾君子父母在家庭上对经济 沟通
Addicted parents can have negative financial, communicative,
或建立亲密关系的有消极影响
or connective impacts on the family,
影响到每一个家庭成员
affecting every family member’s ability
建立与他人亲密 健康关系的能力
to form close, healthy relationships with others.
2.完美主义
2.Perfectionism
这一点很难发现
This one can be difficult to spot,
特别是 如果一个家庭在外面表现得像画一样完美
especially if a family looks picture-perfect on the outside.
当完美主义被高度重视
When perfectionism is highly regarded,
孩子不得不忍受父母不现实的期望
and children have to bear their parents’ unrealistic expectations,
他们可能带着自我形象和自尊方面问题长大
they may grow up with self-image and self-esteem issues,
认为自己永远不够好
believing they’ll never be good enough.
当他们需要情感支撑时
They also have a hard time going to
他们寻求父母帮助也很困难
their parents when they need emotional support,
因此 他们可能学会了封闭自己 很难相信别人
so they may learn to close themselves up and have trouble trusting people.
当父母更注重表现和结果时
When parents prioritize performance and results,
他们的孩子永远学不会接受和改善错误
their children never learn to accept and improve upon their mistakes.
3.虐待
3.Abuse
不健全家庭的另一普遍特征是虐待
Abuse is another common characteristic of a dysfunctional family.
可能是身体 情感以及(或者)性虐待
It can be physical, emotional, and/or sexual.
父母 父母与孩子 兄弟姐妹之间都可能发生虐待
Abuse can occur between parents, parent and child, or siblings.
当人们相信家人背叛了自己
People use abuse to punish their families
他们用虐待来惩罚家人的出格行为
for unwanted behavior, and stay in control
让他们在自己掌控之中
when they believe they’ve been betrayed.
如果你认为你正被虐待
If you think you’re being abused,
我们鼓励你打紧急热线电话
we encourage you to call your emergency hotline number.
4.不可预知和恐惧
4.Unpredictability and fear
不可预知和恐惧相伴而生
Unpredictability and fear go hand-in-hand.
它常常是虐待的产物
It’s a pattern often produced from abuse,
但也可能源于家庭成员经济或情绪不稳定
but can also stem from a family member’s financial or emotional instability.
出生于朝不保夕家庭的孩子
Children who come from an unpredictable household
经受低自尊问题的折磨
suffer from low self-esteem issues,
要么长大成为极度负责的“万人迷”
and either grow up to become extremely responsible crowd-pleasers
要么最终成为父母不良行为的反射
or end up mirroring their parents’ toxic behaviors.
当一个家庭不允许其成员发展个人信念 心愿 兴趣
Unpredictability and fear are results of overly rigid or religious upbringings,
过度严苛的成长环境
when a family doesn’t allow family members
会导致不可预知和恐惧
to form their own beliefs, aspirations, and interests.
5.有条件的爱
5.Conditional love
在不健全家庭中 操纵者会让爱有条件
In dysfunctional families, conditional love is exercised by manipulative people.
当家长或配偶只有在
When a parent or spouse only
想要某些东西时才爱他人
gives others love when they want something,
他们也是没有安全感或自私的
they’re either insecure or selfish.
例如 一个自私的妈妈
For instance, a selfish mother
只有当想到孩子成年要照顾她时
might show love and support to their child
她才会展现出
just so that when the child reaches adulthood,
对孩子的爱和支持
they will take care of her.
当爱有条件 家庭成员会觉得被利用或被欺骗
When love is conditional, it can make family members feel used or cheated.
6.没有界限
6.Lack of boundaries
当一个家庭不能建立健康的界限
When a family doesn’t establish healthy boundaries,
成员常常会觉得自己没有隐私
members will often feel like they have no privacy,
不被尊重
or aren’t being respected.
把孩子看作是战利品
Parent who see their children
或自身延伸的父母是自恋的
as trophies or extensions of themselves are narcissistic,
当孩子没有被正确养育 鼓励
causing children to feel confused about their own identities
他们会为自己的身份困扰
when they aren’t properly nurtured or encouraged.
当家长试图用发怒来控制或支配时 界限就模糊了
Boundaries are blurred when a parent tries to be controlling or dominant through anger.
孩子会觉得他们没有选择
And children feel like they have no choice
只能在某方面行动或表现来取悦父母
but to act or behave in certain ways to please their parent.
因此 他们逐渐感到疏离和迷失
As a result, they grow up feeling alienated or lost,
变得过分自律
and become overly self-critical.
7.缺少亲密行为
7.Lack of intimacy
不健全家庭总是误把依赖共生当作亲密
Dysfunctional families often mistake codependency as intimacy.
在健康家庭中 父母教孩子如何自立
In healthy families, parents teach their children how to be self-efficient.
但是如果家长害怕孩子离开
But if a parent is scared of letting go,
他们会提出孩子长大离开后
they’ll make claims about being able to live
不依靠孩子也能活
without their kids if they grow up and leave.
同样地 配偶中一方表现出对伴侣的紧密依赖
Likewise, a spouse who may show excessive clinginess to their partner.
对家庭成员来说 很重要的是
It’s important for family members to be with each other
他们想在一起 而不是不得不在一起
because they want to, not because they have to.
从根本上说 爱是无私的行为
Ultimately, love is a selfless act,
永远不该是迫不得已
and should never be pressured or forced.
8.缺乏沟通
8.Poor communication
缺乏沟通是家庭冲突的代表性根源
Family conflicts typically stem from poor communication.
当人们由于紧张或没有存在感的沟通不能表达自己
When people can’t express themselves due to strained or nonexistant communication,
他们会觉得不被听见 看见或理解
they feel unheard, invisible, or misunderstood.
总之 不健全家庭没有实行健康的沟通技巧
Overall, dysfunctional families don’t practice healthy communication skills,
因此 成员更容易抬杠
so members can be quick to react
而不是等待倾听和理解
rather than waiting to listen and understand.
产生的冲突导致了每天的紧张和挑战
The resulting arguments cause daily stress
让家庭分崩离析
and challenges that tear the family apart.
这些特质有哪一项和你的家庭符合吗?
Does your family identify with any of these characteristics?
你是怎么尝试让家庭恢复团结的?
What methods have you tried to bring the family back together?
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视频概述

不健全家庭的普遍特征

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

岸雩

审核员

审核员YZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkVOBhJbMj8

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