The world comprises of a lot of people.
每个人都有自己的观念 经验 信念 和动力
Each with their own individual set of thoughts, experiences, beliefs and motivations.
And with over half of the world’s population now connected to the Internet,
our ability to communicate with others has been extended on a revolutionary scale.
This in turn has increased our exposure
想法 信念 做法异于我们的那些人之间的接触
to those who think, believe and act differently,
during which disagreement sometimes occurs.
… only sometimes though.
But have you ever found yourself in a discussion where
nothing constructive seems to be coming out of it?
Both sides get defensive?
Emotion and passion becomes increasingly dominant?
Or you start losing sight of
why the discussion was held in the first place?
It seems quite common and there are manyreasons why.
For one, body language and tone of voice account for
the majority of our ability to communicate a message to someone else
and yet many try to debate complexed ideas on social media platforms
which cuts these elements out.
Online discourse often occurs
between strangers who can not see or hear each other,
allowing for an empathy gap to form.
If you remove the feeling that you are speaking to an actual person
it can lead to some behaving in ways they would not have done
if the conversation occurred face to face.
But even when we do speak in person,
many of us believe that the whole point of discussion
is to “win” an argument.
Not only that,
but being wrong is a showing of weakness and failure,
not of testing and enlightenment.
So next time you have a discussion with someone,
why not try the following ‘ 7’suggestions
to help improve the environment for sharingand challenging ideas…
Number 1: Start with a human connection.
It’s very easy to treat the other person
去攻击 击败 并在智力上碾压
as an opponent you want to attack, annihilate, intellectually destroy
or to assume they have bad intent.
So why not try getting to know each other’s backgrounds first?
What is it that brought you both to
where you are today in the context of that discussion?
You may be pleasantly surprised by what youhave in common.
Number 2: Identify three things you agree on.
No matter how trivial or irrelevant to the discussion it may be,
try talking about movies you like,
or things in society you wish to see fixed?
Starting a debate with common ground can help massage those empathy muscles.
第三 明白可以说 “我不知道”
Number 3: Make clear that it’s okay to say, “ I don’t know ”.
This phrase is normally seen as a weakness
and it encourages people to steer the conversation elsewhere
or even make stuff up just to avoid embarrassment.
This is not helpful
and so it should be made clear from the offset
that saying,”I don’t know” is not a disqualifying phrase.
Number 4: Encourage self-critiques.
It’s frustrating when people are unwilling to concede obvious points
out of fear of ‘losing the debate’.
This can create an environment of intellectual dishonesty to thrive.
So why not make an opportunity
for both participants to disclose criticisms of their own positions,
because after all no concept is perfect.
Number 5: Ask questions.
It’s very easy for discussions
to be about just making points at each other
where it seems people only listen to
work out when it’s their turn to speak.
Asking questions signals to the other person that they’re being listened to.
It also helps us clarify positions
that may have otherwise been misconstrued.
As there is nothing worse than having a conversation built upon misunderstandings.
Number 6: Avoid using labels wherever possible.
They can mean different things to different people
regardless of what the official definition may be for a particular one.
They can lead to generalizations and thus assumptions,
So stay clear, but if a label happens to get used,
take a moment to unpack it.
Even though this will require spending a bit more time explaining your point，
it will be more helpful in the long-run.
Number 7: Find common ground.
Towards the end of your discussion,
identify areas of agreement around the issues you have been debating.
Now this is not to say there cannot be fundamental disagreement,
Or that you must be on the same page at the very end.
These 7 tips don’t guarantee
that all future discussions will go smoothly
with everyone getting along,
but they will help steer them in a more constructive direction.
At a time when there are so many people with so many things to say,
it’s important that
we do all we can to help open these conversations up,
as opposed to shutting them down.