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放弃追回前任的7个理由 – 译学馆
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放弃追回前任的7个理由

7 Sound Reasons Not To Get Back With Your Ex

[音效]
[sound effect]
“Psych2Go”
“Psych2Go”
我们都经历过:特别想一个人时
We’ve all missed someone so much
会开始把往事浪漫化
that we start to romanticize the past.
判断力得以丧失 不久 满脑子也都是
It throws off your judgement and soon you’re overwhelmed
和前任重归于好的念头
with just wanting to be with that person again.
人们常说“小别胜新婚”
While people often say that absence makes heart grow fonder,
事实上 分别只会让你痛苦 空虚
it instead allows feelings of being miserable and empty to grow instead.
在你打算和前任和好之前
Before deciding to get back together with your ex,
这个视频会告诉你 为什么不该这么做
watch this video for reasons about why you shouldn’t.
一旦你和某人分开之后
After you’ve been separated from someone,
你就会趋向于把往事浪漫化
there’s a tendency to romanticize the past,
也就是说 你只念着你们曾“红了脸”
meaning that you focus only on the good things that happened,
却忘了也曾“红了眼”
and ignore all the bad.
你在脑海里抹去了你们俩分手的种种原因
By blocking out all the reasons why you two didn’t work out,
真相是 你在重塑那个人的“误像”
you’re recreating a false image of that person.
你念念不忘的那个人根本不存在
You’re remembering somebody who didn’t really exist.
当你想的全是前任的好时 你已经不是在想Ta了
When you remember only the good, you no longer miss your ex,
相反的 你想的是Ta的“概念人”
and instead, miss the idea of them.
举个例子 假设你刚和A分手
For example, say you just broke up with person A,
然后开始想Ta
you start to miss them
想的全是和Ta在一起的甜蜜时光
and think of all the good time you had together,
而不去想和A打架吵闹的事
ignoring all the times you and person A fought or argued.
你过度着眼于A的好
You focus so much on all the good things about person A,
以致于创造出一个新的人——B
that you’ve created a whole new person, person B.
你想念的根本不是A
You don’t really miss person A,
而是B
because you miss person B,
一个不存在的“概念人”罢了
who sadly is only an idea.
与其努力让自己忘掉那些不开心
Instead of blocking out the bad things that happened,
不如直面它们 从中吸取教训
focus on them, so you can learn.
弄清楚哪些人格特质是你想要的
Learn what personality traits you want to look for,
哪些人格特质是你不能接受的
and what traits you want to stay away from.
学会成长 继续前行
Let yourself grow and move on.
分手是一场巨变 没人喜欢改变
Breaking up is a drastic change, and no one likes change.
人的天性就是渴求熟悉感
It’s natural to crave familiarity,
所以我们常常回到之前的状态
so we often go back to whatever we just lost,
无论它健不健康
whether it was healthy or not.
你不习惯一个人
You aren’t used to being alone,
也不习惯应对脑子里乱七八糟的主意
or dealing with the laud thoughts in your head.
你习惯了和A聊天
You’re used to having person A to talk to,
没有Ta说话 你就倍感沮丧
so not having them around is frustrating
异常空虚
and leaves you with the sense of emptiness.
随时有A在身边聊聊天很让人安心
It was comforting having person A around to talk to.
你怎么会想让Ta离开呢?
Why would you wanna keep them away?
但是 尽管熟悉感会让你安心
However, while familiarity is comforting,
你要牢记 回到过去并不总是最健康的选择
you must remember that familiarity isn’t always the healthiest choice.
有时候 你需要走出舒适区才会获得快乐
Sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone to be happy.
与熟悉感相伴的还有:
Coupled with familiarity,
分手之后 你对亲密感如饥似渴
after a break up, you end up yearning for closeness.
和某人保持亲密是很特别的感觉
Being closed with someone is a special feeling.
一旦Ta离开 你心里往往就空落落的
One that often leave you feeling empty once gone.
你想念那种从头到脚了解一个人
You miss knowing the other person inside and out,
Ta也彻底了解你的感觉
and them knowing you as well.
但是 你要记得 和一个人亲密
However, remember that being closed to someone
并不限制于那个特定的人
isn’t restricted to that specific person.
通常来说 和他人亲密并不一定会快乐
And being closed in general doesn’t necessarily create happiness.
与其将注意力放在渴望他人陪伴上
Instead of focusing on the crave for companionship,
不如着眼于自身 学会一个人也能快乐
focus on yourself and how you can be happy being on your own.
开始交往之后 你们就已经在改变中了
You both have changed since you first started going out.
你所有经历的一切造就了今天的你
Your experiences together have shaped who you’ve become
你不再是之前那个你了
and you’re no longer the same people you once were.
你们渐渐成长 也慢慢分离
As you grew as people, you also grew apart.
你们再也不能同步改变了
You could no longer change together,
这迫使你做出终极改变 和Ta分手
so you have to make the ultimate change and break up.
改变没那么简单
Change is never fun,
有各种因素会阻止你彻底改变
and it can be tempting to avoid it altogether.
但是 因此就不成长可不是解决办法
But, stopping yourself from growing is not the solution.
你要继续自我成长
You should continue to help yourself grow.
在该过程中 你会找到那个和你共同成长的人
In that process, you will find people who can grow alongside you.
在对一个人倾注所有的爱 能量和付出之后
After pouring all your love, energy and hard work into a person,
你会觉得他们欠你的
you can feel like they owe you love.
但这根本就是在浪费精力 于你无益
but beating a dead horse won’t do you any good.
你不能强迫别人去爱你
You can never force somebody to love you,
爱是强求不来的
no matter how much you try.
人类的天性就是反抗
Human nature has as naturally rebel against force,
就像 我们不喜欢被人使唤一样
as we don’t like being told to do things.
这尤其适用于爱情与情侣关系
This especially applies to love and relationships.
强迫别人爱你并不会让他们真的爱你
Forcing someone to love you doesn’t make them love you.
最后 却可能让他们厌恶你
In the end, they may resent you.
你们之间的距离也因而愈发遥远
Creating a larger gap between you than it was before.
别指望强扭的瓜会甜
Don’t try to force love and you’ll end up being happier.
相处得来才是感情持续的关键
Compatibility is key in a relationship.
一旦没了共同性 这段感情也迟早要完
And when it’s gone, there is little hope for success.
你在一段新的恋情中展露真我的时候
When you’re revealing yourself in a new relationship.
也就是考验你们能否处得来的时候 答案常是否定的
This is when compatibility is tested and often fails.
随着你们越来越了解对方
As you learn more about each other,
双方都赤诚相见 你也就知道能不能和Ta走下去
your true colors shine and you discover whether it’s meant to last or not.
分手之后 经过时间的治愈
After a breakup, as more time progresses,
再回头看这段感情 就更能看清
it will be easier to look back and see
你们是怎么相处不来的
how you two were incompatible,
以及 分开才是最好的选择
and are much better being separated.
当时可能没那么容易看出来
It can be hard to see it in a heat of the moment,
但你记住 一切都会过去的
but remember that it will pass
一个人你会更开心
and you’ll be happier being on your own.
下面这个可能很难看出来
Well, it may seem hard to see,
但真的还会有个更合拍的人出现在你生命中
someone else will come along and be a much better match for you.
你会从和前任相处的错误中学到很多
You will have learnt from you mistakes from your ex,
所以你知道 你要找的是什么样的人
so you know what to look for in your new partner.
在那个对的人要溜走之前
And you’ll be able to spark warning signs
你会拉起警报信号
before they get out of hand.
你上一段感情让你成熟起来
You will have grown as a person from your last relationship,
学会处理不同的事物
able to handle different things.
你有能力重新开始生活 开启一段新恋情
You’ll be able to lead a new life and a new relationship,
让恋情更长久 健康地发展下去
staying on safe and healthy waters.
别放弃爱情 Ta还在未来等你
Don’t give up on love. It’s out there,
时机一到 Ta就会出现
and you’ll find it when you’re ready.
要记住 放手比死死抓住
Remember that it’s healthier to let go
一个已经不爱的人对你更好
than to hold on to a love that isn’t there anymore.
这就是本期Psych2Go全部内容
That’s all from us Psych2Go.
你觉得这些理由怎么样呢?
What do you think of these reasons?
记得订阅我们来观看更多健康生活小知识
Be sure to subscribe for more tips on living a healthy life.

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视频概述

恋爱中的人是盲目的,刚刚分手后的你不仅仅盲目,还被瞬间的空虚失落遮蔽了所有的理智,你的空虚感不一定是来自对前任的爱,而是对一个人的依赖。时间是治愈一切的良方,相信我,放手之后,你才会腾出空留给那个对的人走进来。Ta一定会来,你要等,在此之前,向前走吧,要知道,那个对的人在前面啊!

听录译者

青岩暑茶

翻译译者

审核员

审核团HL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbNAbb6HGF8

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