We’ve all missed someone so much
that we start to romanticize the past.
判断力得以丧失 不久 满脑子也都是
It throws off your judgement and soon you’re overwhelmed
with just wanting to be with that person again.
While people often say that absence makes heart grow fonder,
事实上 分别只会让你痛苦 空虚
it instead allows feelings of being miserable and empty to grow instead.
Before deciding to get back together with your ex,
watch this video for reasons about why you shouldn’t.
After you’ve been separated from someone,
there’s a tendency to romanticize the past,
meaning that you focus only on the good things that happened,
and ignore all the bad.
By blocking out all the reasons why you two didn’t work out,
you’re recreating a false image of that person.
You’re remembering somebody who didn’t really exist.
When you remember only the good, you no longer miss your ex,
and instead, miss the idea of them.
For example, say you just broke up with person A,
you start to miss them
and think of all the good time you had together,
ignoring all the times you and person A fought or argued.
You focus so much on all the good things about person A,
that you’ve created a whole new person, person B.
You don’t really miss person A,
because you miss person B,
who sadly is only an idea.
Instead of blocking out the bad things that happened,
focus on them, so you can learn.
Learn what personality traits you want to look for,
and what traits you want to stay away from.
Let yourself grow and move on.
Breaking up is a drastic change, and no one likes change.
It’s natural to crave familiarity,
so we often go back to whatever we just lost,
whether it was healthy or not.
You aren’t used to being alone,
or dealing with the laud thoughts in your head.
You’re used to having person A to talk to,
so not having them around is frustrating
and leaves you with the sense of emptiness.
It was comforting having person A around to talk to.
Why would you wanna keep them away?
However, while familiarity is comforting,
you must remember that familiarity isn’t always the healthiest choice.
Sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone to be happy.
Coupled with familiarity,
after a break up, you end up yearning for closeness.
Being closed with someone is a special feeling.
One that often leave you feeling empty once gone.
You miss knowing the other person inside and out,
and them knowing you as well.
但是 你要记得 和一个人亲密
However, remember that being closed to someone
isn’t restricted to that specific person.
And being closed in general doesn’t necessarily create happiness.
Instead of focusing on the crave for companionship,
focus on yourself and how you can be happy being on your own.
You both have changed since you first started going out.
Your experiences together have shaped who you’ve become
and you’re no longer the same people you once were.
As you grew as people, you also grew apart.
You could no longer change together,
so you have to make the ultimate change and break up.
Change is never fun,
and it can be tempting to avoid it altogether.
But, stopping yourself from growing is not the solution.
You should continue to help yourself grow.
In that process, you will find people who can grow alongside you.
After pouring all your love, energy and hard work into a person,
you can feel like they owe you love.
but beating a dead horse won’t do you any good.
You can never force somebody to love you,
no matter how much you try.
Human nature has as naturally rebel against force,
as we don’t like being told to do things.
This especially applies to love and relationships.
Forcing someone to love you doesn’t make them love you.
In the end, they may resent you.
Creating a larger gap between you than it was before.
Don’t try to force love and you’ll end up being happier.
Compatibility is key in a relationship.
And when it’s gone, there is little hope for success.
When you’re revealing yourself in a new relationship.
This is when compatibility is tested and often fails.
As you learn more about each other,
your true colors shine and you discover whether it’s meant to last or not.
After a breakup, as more time progresses,
it will be easier to look back and see
how you two were incompatible,
and are much better being separated.
It can be hard to see it in a heat of the moment,
but remember that it will pass
and you’ll be happier being on your own.
Well, it may seem hard to see,
someone else will come along and be a much better match for you.
You will have learnt from you mistakes from your ex,
so you know what to look for in your new partner.
And you’ll be able to spark warning signs
before they get out of hand.
You will have grown as a person from your last relationship,
able to handle different things.
You’ll be able to lead a new life and a new relationship,
staying on safe and healthy waters.
Don’t give up on love. It’s out there,
and you’ll find it when you’re ready.
Remember that it’s healthier to let go
than to hold on to a love that isn’t there anymore.
That’s all from us Psych2Go.
What do you think of these reasons?
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