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7个迹象表明你正在成为一个有毒的朋友

7 Signs You're Becoming a Toxic Friend

Hey Psych2Go family,
《来吧!心理学》的观众们
thank you for all the love and support you’ve given us.
谢谢你们对我们的爱和支持
Here at Psych2Go, our mission is to make content
在《来吧!心理学》我们的任务是
on psychology and mental health
让每个人都能更容易地接触到
more accessible to everyone.
心理学和心理健康方面的内容
Now, let’s get back to the video.
现在 让我们回到视频
How do you think your friends would describe you?
你觉得你的朋友会怎么形容你?
Are you always there for them when they need you?
当他们需要你的时候 你总会出现吗?
Sometimes, it can be hard to maintain
有时 与人保持良好的友谊
a good friendship with people.
并不是件容易事
You may not even realize
你甚至可能没有意识到
that you’re hurting the people you love until it’s too late.
自己伤害了所爱的人 直到为时已晚
So here is seven warning signs
这里有七个警告信号
that you may be becoming a toxic friend to others.
预示着你可能成为了别人的一个有毒的朋友
Number one, you’re needy.
第一 你需求太多
Are you over-reliant on your friend,
你是不是过分依赖你的朋友了
calling them at the first sight of trouble?
一遇到麻烦就给他们打电话?
Do you need them to reaffirm your self esteem
每次你自我贬低时
every time you feel down about yourself?
都需要朋友帮你提升自我肯定?
While friends should be supportive of each other,
尽管朋友需要相互扶持
there should also be some give and take in your relationship.
但在你们的关系里 给予和接受应该是相互的
You may be turning into a toxic friend
如果你一直提出需求
if you keep on demanding
接受对方的给予 却无法等量地付出
and taking more of your friendship than you give.
那么你可能会变成一个有毒的朋友
Number two, you’re controlling.
第二 你控制欲太强
Do you always want to know what your friends are up to?
你是否总想知道朋友在干什么?
Or do you sometimes tell your friends what to do
或者你有时候会告诉朋友该做什么
or who they spend their time with?
或者该和谁相处?
A way you may be hurting your friends
太过于控制他们
is by too controlling of them.
可能会伤害到你的朋友
Remember that they are their own person.
记住 他们是独立的人
They can make their own decisions.
可以自己做决定
Even if what you do comes from a place of insecurity or fear
即使你这么做是因为缺少安全感
that they will replace you with someone else,
或者害怕他们会选择别人 离你而去
trying to control your friends
试图控制你的朋友
may turn your friendship into a toxic one.
可能会让你们的友谊变得有毒
Number three, you’re inconsiderate.
第三 你不体谅他人
Do you always make your friends give in to what you want
你是否总让朋友屈服于你想要的
or get upset if you don’t get your way?
或者不按你说的做就会不开心?
If you only care about your wants and needs,
如果你只关心自己的愿望和需要
and insist on doing things your way,
并且执意按照你的方式做事
even at the expense of your friends,
甚至以牺牲朋友为代价
then you’re being inconsiderate about their feelings.
那么你就是没有体谅他们的感受
Healthy friendships are all about compromise
健康的友谊是妥协
and mutual agreement,
和相互认同
so you may be turning into a toxic friend
如果你总是忽视朋友 满足自己
if you constantly ignore your friends to get your way.
那么你可能会变成一个有毒的朋友
Number four, you give unsolicited advice.
第四 你主动提出建议
Do you give your friends advice
你会在朋友未曾提出时
even if they never asked for it?
就擅自给出建议吗?
A study by Meyers in 2017
Meyers在2017年做过一项研究
shows that many who give unsolicited advice
发现许多喜欢主动提建议的人
may do so because it gives them a sense of control
可能是因为这样能在同龄人中
and superiority amongst their peers.
获得控制感和优越感
Doing so may also make you seem
这样做可能使你看起来
self-righteous and judgmental.
自以为是和爱评判别人
Instead of advice,
代替建议
your friend may just want you to lend them an ear
你的朋友可能只想要你的倾听
and show them some sympathy.
和一些同情
Number five, you act critical of them.
第五 你对他们很挑剔
Do you always point out your friend’s insecurities
你是否总是指出朋友的不靠谱之处
or floss to them?
或者挑他们的缺点?
While you may say that it comes from a place of love,
你可能会说这是出于对他们的爱
being overly harsh and critical
但过分苛刻和挑剔
can be doing more damage than good to your friendship.
可能对你们的友谊弊大于利
You may end up making them feel worse about their failures
你最终可能会让他们对失败感到更糟糕
and hurt their self esteem.
还会伤害他们的自尊
Because of this, your friendship may take a turn for the worse.
因为这点 你们的友谊可能会变得更糟
Number six, you talk more about yourself than them.
第六 你过多谈论自己
Are you usually the one who does most of the talking?
你通常是那个说话最多的人吗?
Do you interrupt your friend
你是否打断朋友的话
and steer the topic back to you?
然后把话题引到自己身上?
Even if it’s not your intention,
即使这不是你的本意
this kind of behavior
这种行为
can show that you care more about yourself
能够说明 比起关心朋友
than you do about your friend.
你更关心自己
Healthy relationships involve taking turns to talk and listen.
健康的人际关系包括轮流发言和倾听
When you fail to strike a good balance in your friendship
当你不能在友谊中找到一个好的平衡点
and you take more than you give,
得到的大于给予的
it may be a sign
这可能是一个迹象
that your friendship is turning into a toxic one.
表明你的友谊正在变得有毒
Number seven, you’re not happy for their success.
第七 你不为朋友的成功开心
Do you feel bitter or insecure
当朋友做成一件事情
when your friend accomplishes something?
你会心里发苦或感到不安吗?
Although it’s normal to feel jealous of others from time to time,
尽管嫉妒是人之常情
it’s never good to be so envious of your friends,
但是对朋友产生太多妒忌
that you can’t celebrate their success.
以至于不能庆祝他们的成功 这可不好
Instead of rooting for them and cheering them on,
本应该支持并为他们加油打气的你
you find yourself competing against them
却发现自己在与他们竞争
and secretly hoping that they’d fail,
并且暗地里希望他们失败
and that is a sign of a toxic friendship.
那这就是有毒的朋友的迹象
Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here?
你有以上这些迹象吗?
Are you worried you may be turning into a toxic friend?
你担心会变成有毒的朋友吗?
Let us know in the comments below.
请在评论中告诉我们
If you answered yes, don’t worry,
如果你有这些迹象 别担心
it’s not too late yet.
现在还不晚
It’s good that you’re trying to be more self-aware
你正试图对自己的错误
about your own faults,
有更多的认识 这很好
and the fact that you were honest enough with yourself
事实上 你对自己足够诚实
to admit that you’re being a bad friend
承认自己是一个坏朋友
shows a willingness to grow and change for the better.
这表明你愿意成长 并向好处改变
Though this kind of positive change doesn’t come easy,
尽管这种积极的改变不容易
you’ve already taken a big first step
但你已经迈出了第一步
in acknowledging your mistakes
去勇于承认错误
and trying to be a better person.
努力成为一个更好的人
If you find this video helpful,
如果你觉得这个视频有帮助
be sure to like and share this video
记得点赞
with those who might benefit from it.
并分享给需要的人
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订阅《来吧!心理学》看更多视频
Thanks for watching and see you in our next video.
谢谢观看 我们下个视频再见

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视频概述

你身边有视频中所说的“有毒的朋友”吗?或者你也有成为有毒的朋友的迹象呢?来看看有毒的朋友都有哪些特点吧~

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

mrmilkbox

审核员

审核员CL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFMCW2uP3rc

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