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7个迹象表明你的恋情使你抑郁 – 译学馆
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7个迹象表明你的恋情使你抑郁

7 Signs Your Relationship is Making You Depressed

爱是一把双刃剑
Love can be a double-edged sword,
有时它会让我们感觉自己
sometimes it makes us feel more alive than
比我们想象的更有活力
we ever thought possible,
有时它又让我们任其摆布
and sometimes it has us at it’s mercy.
或早或晚的 我们都需要审视我们的关系
Sooner or later, we need to evaluate our relationships
并且远离那些可能伤害我们的人
and let go of people who maybe toxic towards us.
而遗憾的事实是
The unfortunate truth is
一些人只是没有准备好恋爱
that some people are just not ready for relationships
也或许是并没有理解你最强烈的意图
and may not have your best intentions in mind.
伴侣导致你抑郁的事实
Accepting that your partner is contributing to your depression
是很难接受的
is hard to face,
尤其是当你非常想顺利解决事情的时候
especially if you desperately want things to work out.
这里有一些需要注意的迹象
Here are some signs to watch out for.
一 你们没有共同的目标
1. You don’t work together towards common goals.
最糟糕的事情莫过于
There’s nothing worse than a partner
爱人不支持你的梦想
who doesn’t support your dreams.
如果有人阻止你为目标奋斗
If someone is holding you back from reaching your goals,
那么你很快就会开始感到沮丧
it won’t be long before you start feeling depressed.
你和你的伴侣
You and your partner
或许会对完全不同的事情感兴趣
may be interested in completely different things,
但却仍然可以一起为进步而努力
but can still be working towards getting promoted,
例如举办你的第一次艺术展
running your first art show,
或者攻克攀岩馆的下一堵墙
or conquering the next wall at your climbing gym.
如果你的爱人不像你一样具目标性
If your partner is not goal-oriented like you are,
那么他可能会强迫你
it might feel like your partner is forcing you to choose
在你们的关系和梦想之间做出选择
between your relationship and your dreams.
二 你无法和你的伴侣建立情感上的联系
2. You can’t connect emotionally with your partner.
在一段关系中 最重要的部分是
One of the best parts of being in a relationship
脆弱又诚实的对待你的感受
is being vulnerable and being honest with your feelings.
最强大的伴侣
The strongest partners connect with each other
在情感层面上相互联系
on a deep emotional level.
这也是当情感联系看起来混乱或被歪曲时
So when that emotional connection seems muddled or distorted,
你和你的伴侣都感到迷茫和困惑的原因
it leaves both partners feeling confused and lost.
有时 人们只是在情感上不相容
Sometimes people just aren’t emotionally compatible.
但如果你发现 相比于你的伴侣
If you find that you’re much more willing
你更愿意去谈论你的感觉
to talk about your feelings than your partner,
这或许会导致你不满意和不理解
it may cause you to feel dissatisfied and misunderstood.
三 你伴侣的抑郁可能会传染给你
3. Your partner’s depression might be contagious.
抑郁真的会传染吗?
Is depression actually contagious?
研究员们试图去回答这个问题
Researchers have tried to answer this question
并得出了非常有趣的结果
and have come up with extremely interesting results.
一项以大学室友为对象的研究发现
One study looked at a college roommates
当一个抑郁的新室友入住时
and found that students started experiencing depressive symptoms
其他人也开始出现抑郁的症状
when a new depressed roommate moved in.
另一项用鼠做成的研究也获得了相似结果
Another study was done on rats with similar results.
抑郁情绪被引入到一群鼠中
Depression was induced in a group of rats
而当一只新的健康的鼠被关进笼子时
and when new happy rats were introduced to the cage,
它很快就被传染而表现出相同的抑郁症状
they quickly developed the same depressive symptoms.
所以 被伴侣的抑郁传染是可能的吗?
So, is it possible to contract your partner’s depression?
研究显示 这似乎是可能的
According to the research, it seems like a likely possibility.
四 伴侣关系开始变为虐待
4. The relationship is starting to get abusive.
虐待是人际关系中最明显的
Abuse is one of the most obvious causes
导致抑郁的原因
for depression in relationships,
它也远超出人们的意识
it’s also much more common
尤其是在女性中间
than people realize, especially among women.
而很大一部分女性遭受虐待的事实没有被报道
A large amount of abuse experienced by women goes unreported.
据统计 有18%到36%的女性
It’s estimated that between 18 and 36 % of women
一生中曾经历过某些形式的虐待
have experienced some form of relationship abuse
而可预见的是
in their lifetimes and predictably,
虐待是抑郁最常见的原因之一
relationship abuse is one of the most common causes of depression.
这种虐待可能是身体 情感或是心理上的
This abuse can be physical, emotional, or psychological.
无论任何形式
Regardless of what form,
你都应该向这段关系之外的亲人寻求支持
you should look to loved ones outside of your relationship for support.
记得要珍惜你的时间
Remember to appreciate your time
而不要依靠伴侣来获得更强的自我价值感
and not rely on your partner for a stronger sense of self-worth.
五 完全的缺乏沟通
5. A total lack of communication.
沟通的缺乏
Lack of communication
是关系失败最常见的原因之一
is one of most common reasons for failed relationships,
所以如果你不能和你的伴侣交流
and if you can’t communicate with your partner,
你可能因此开始感觉到抑郁的症状
you might start to feel depressive symptoms as a result.
有趣的是 一项近期的研究显示
Interestingly enough, a recent study showed
社会技能低落和抑郁是相关联的
that poor social skills and depression are linked.
无论伴侣哪一方缺少社交技巧
No matter which partner lacks communication skills,
恋爱关系都会因此受到影响
the relationships will likely suffer as a result
从而导致伴侣一方或双方抑郁
causing depression for one or both partners.
六 关系升华的同时你们本身也需要改变
6. Your relationship has evolved and your needs have changed.
伴侣关系充满了神奇的时刻
Relationships are filled with magical moments,
而大多是在蜜月期
mostly during the honeymoon phase,
我们常常希望这些时刻能永远持续
and we often wish these moments could last forever.
然而 人们总是会改变且伴侣会感觉不舒服
However, people change and partners become comfortable.
随着时间的推移
As the years go by,
你可能发现自己
you might find yourself in a relationship
在和一个完全不同的人恋爱
with a completely different person.
你的伴侣或许有不同的需求
Your partner may have different needs,
不同的优先级和不同的期望
different priorities and different expectations.
这种关系的进化不是必然的
This type of evolution in relationships
但却是正常的
isn’t just inevitable, it’s healthy.
当伴侣不能领会
Problems only arise
我们的改变期望时 问题就来了
when our partners can’t meet our changing expectations.
如果你开始和伴侣分开成长 那是可以的
If you begin to grow apart from your partner, that’s okay.
仅因为他们在过去看起来般配
Just because they seemed like a great match in the past,
并不意味着我们应该留住
doesn’t mean that we should hold on to someone
和我们过去价值观一致的人
who aligned with our past values.
七 你感觉你被困在了这段关系中
7. You feel like you’re stuck in the relationship,
即使你知道这段关系并不成功
even though you know it’s not working out.
好 所以你的恋爱关系是你抑郁的原因
Okay, so your relationship is making you depressed,
那么你为什么不离开?
so why don’t you leave?
多年以来 研究员们尝试去讲明
Over the years, researchers have tried to figure out
为什么人们执着于不满意的关系
why people stay in unsatisfying relationships
且得出了一些有趣的理论
and they’ve come up with some interesting theories.
早期的研究声称伴侣待在一起是因为
Early studies claim that couples stay together
他们觉得他们不可能再找到一个更好的人
because they thought that they couldn’t find anyone better,
或者是他们害怕分离后的不确定性
or that they were afraid of the uncertainty of separation.
但现代研究员们认为这更加个人化
But modern researchers believe that it’s much more personal.
一项新研究提出人们在一起
One new study suggested that people might stay together
可能是因为他们的伴侣极其忠诚
because their partner is extremely devoted
或者留恋彼此的关心
or out of concern for each otherswelfare.
如果你的伴侣说一些这样的话 例如
If your partner is saying concerning things such as,
没有你我活不下去
I can’t live without you
或者你是我生命中唯一的美好
or you’re the only good thing in my life,
那会给你带来很大的压力去让他们开心
it can put a lot of pressure on you to keep them happy.
如果你正在经历某种行为和虐待
This shouldn’t make you feel like
这不应该让你感觉
you have to accept certain behaviors
你必须接受它
and mistreatment if you’re experiencing it.
你曾经经历过这些问题吗?
Have you experienced any of these relationship issues?
如果经历过 它们导致你抑郁了吗?
If so, have they led to depression?
在下面的评论中告诉我们吧
Let us know on the comments below,
嘿 为什么不留下一个赞
and hey, why not leave a like and subscribe
一边订阅一边看呢
to the channel while you’re at it.

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视频概述

本视频介绍了恋情使你抑郁的七个迹象。

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翻译译者

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCBXOaK7M4E

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