你们好 来吧！心理学的观众们
Hello Psych2Goers,
首先我们想感谢你对所订阅的
we just want to first say thank you for loving Psych2Go,
来吧！心理学栏目的喜爱
that you have subscribed,
这让一切变得可能
made everything possible
并且你对我们的喜爱一定会持续一生
and that your love will last a lifetime for us.
即使我们做了最大的努力
Despite our best efforts,
爱情似乎总是完全不受我们的控制
love always seems to be completely out of our control.
它让我们像风中的羽毛般高飞
It lifts us up like a feather in the wind,
把我们带去一个全新的世界
whisking us away to a completely new world,
其间充满新的经历和难忘的记忆
full of new experiences and unforgettable memories.
但虽然它可以把我们带到新的高度
But while it might raise us to new heights,
爱情的力量也可以迅速把我们
love has the power to slam us back down to earth,
摔回现实
just as quickly.
毫无疑问
Make no mistake,
我们为爱所控
we are at the mercy of love,
我们能做的只有找到那个愿意
all we can do is search for that special someone
陪我们度过余生的特别的人
to hopefully spend the rest of our lives with.
但是当我们认为找到真命天子时
But which signs should we be looking for
又该搜寻哪些迹象呢
when we think we found the one?
这里有七个迹象表明你的爱情将持续一生
Here are seven signs your love will last a lifetime.
一 即使沉默也能感到舒适
1.You share comfortable silences.
爱情在于相互理解
Love is all about mutual understanding,
并且当你真正了解你的伴侣
and when you truly know the person you’re with,
你不会觉得时刻都要相互闲谈
you don’t feel the need to fill the air with small talk.
当然别误会 说起人际关系时
Communication is definitely important when it comes to relationships,
交流很重要
don’t get us wrong,
但当你和你的爱人不说话也感到舒适时
but when you can share a comfortable silence with the one you love
而且只要对方在身边就满足
and are simply content with each other’s presence,
这可能就是你们的爱情
it could be a sign that your connection
将持续一生的迹象
will last the lifetime.
二 你们分开时会互相考虑
2.You think about each other when you’re apart.
真爱不会给你喘息的机会
True love doesn’t give you much of a break,
从你醒来时起
from the moment you wake up
到你睡前打最后一个哈欠时
to your last yawn as you fall asleep,
你的伴侣都会占满你的脑子
your partner dominates your thoughts.
你不仅仅只是想你的爱人
You don’t just think about your loved one,
你还会好奇ta在哪
you wonder where they are,
ta和谁在一起
who they’re with,
还有ta是否安全
and whether or not they’re okay.
但这不能与互为依赖混淆
But this should not be confused with co-dependency.
相互考虑
Thinking about each other
并非必然表示你们依赖对方
doesn’t necessarily mean you’re reliant on each other,
这只是意味着你们非常关心对方
it just means you care a great deal about your partner.
如果你发现自己一整天
If you find your thoughts wondering into
都神游在恋爱王国中
the realms of your relationship throughout the day,
这可能是你们爱情注定持续到永远的迹象
it could be a sign that it’s destined to last forever.
三 你们与对方交流
3.You communicate with each other.
问问老夫老妻们为什么他们的关系持续了这么久
Ask many old couples why their relationship lasted so long,
他们大多数人都会指出一个重要的因素
and many will point out one important factor,
交流
communication.
这只是一段成功关系里简单的一部分
It’s a simple part of a successful relationship,
但是善用它却能让夫妻的关系持续几十年
but it binds couples together for many decades if done right.
交流不仅是问你的伴侣今天感觉怎么样
Communication is more than just asking your partner how their day was,
或者晚餐吃什么
or deciding what to eat for dinner.
有意义的深度交流包括质疑你的伴侣
Deep meaningful communication involves challenging your partner,
消解你们之间的隔阂
stripping away the barriers
以及展示自己的柔弱和真实性格以求双方的联系
and being vulnerable to really allow yourgenuine personalities to connect.
四 争吵使关系更坚固
4.Your arguments make you stronger.
一段关系里的争吵是没有错的
There’s nothing wrong with arguing in a relationship.
事实上 大多数婚姻顾问认为吵架很正常
In fact, most marriage counselors would agree that it’s healthy
而且从不吵架的夫妇
and that couples who don’t argue at all
可能在做极其错误的事
are probably doing something very wrong.
争吵能让你把心里话说出来
Arguments allow you to get things off your chest,
把所有事情都闷在心里是会酿成灾难的
bottling everything up inside is a recipe for disaster.
争吵不应该使情侣分开
Arguments shouldn’t drive partners apart,
事实上
in fact,
最恩爱的夫妇发现
the most passionate couples discover that
争吵反而会使他们的关系变得更坚固
their arguments actually make them stronger.
他们做出改变
They make changes,
为对方让步
compromise with one another
并在这个过程中更多地了解彼此
and learn more about themselves and each other in the process.
如果这听起来正像是你们的关系
If this sounds like your relationship,
那么它也许能持续一生
it could last a lifetime.
如果你对一些策略感兴趣
If you’re interested in some strategies,
我们推荐你看文特·苏珊的关于言和的视频
we recommend watching Winter Susan’s video on stop arguing
开始与对方一起搜寻解决方案
start brainstorming for solutions together.
她提到要把问题拿到桌面上摊开来谈
She talks about putting the problems on the table.
五 你们帮助对方成长
5.You help build each other up.
模范夫妻的概念
The concept of a power couple
不只是两个非常成功的人走到一起
is much more than just two highly successful people in a relationship.
没有什么比和一个
There’s nothing better than being with someone
能把你带到你自己不能企及的高度的人
who helps build you up into something much more than
在一起更好的了
you could have achieved on your own.
帮助你的伴侣成为一个更好的人
Helping your partner become a better person is the ultimate act
是爱的最高体现
of love and affection.
你不只是想照顾对方
You don’t just want to take care
或与其融洽相处
of them and be comfortable with them, you want to
你想促其奋进
you want to push them higher
并且改善ta的生活
and help them improve their own life.
然而 得事先说明一下
However, it’s worth stating
不是每个人都愿意接受他人帮助
that not everyone is willing to accept help from others.
承认我们需要帮助
Acknowledging that we need help is often just
时常像帮助别人一样难
as hard as giving help to others.
但在一段长久坚固的关系里
but in a strong lasting relationship,
这不是问题
this just isn’t an issue.
情侣双方都足够谦虚
Both partners are humble enough to
以能接受对方的帮助 并足够相爱
accept each others help and loving enough
能让对方成为很棒的人
to build each other up into amazing people.
六 你不觉得需要撒谎
6. You don’t feel the need to cheat.
我们知道 这看上去很明显
We know, this one seems pretty obvious,
但是想想 又有多少情侣能诚恳地说
but consider this, how many couples can honestly
他们从未动过撒谎的念头呢
say that they’ve never even entertained the thought of cheating?
大多数人至少在某一时刻都有过这种想法
Most of us have at least considered it at one point,
即使只是在脆弱时一闪而过
even if it was just a fleeting moment of weakness.
从许多方面来看
In many ways,
这是一个很自然的思维过程 没有什么好羞愧的
it’s a natural thought process and nothing to be ashamed of.
即使感情最坚固的夫妇也会有这种想法
Even the strongest couples let their thoughts wonder.
但是如果这是一段注定持续到永远的爱情
But if you’re in a relationship that’s destined to last forever,
你就从不会把这些想法当真
you never really take those thoughts seriously.
它来得快
It crosses your mind
去的也快
for an instant and then fades away as quickly as it came.
七 你抱有现实的期待
7. You set realistic expectations.
在社交媒体和真人秀的世界里
In the world of social media and reality TV,
给一段关系设下不切实际的期待很简单
it’s easy to set unrealistic expectations
每个人都有他们自己对于浪漫的理解
Everyone has their own idea of a dream romance,
这可能包括有着一栋大厦 一辆豪车
it might include a happy ending with a mansion,
和在奢华沙滩上永不结束的假期的幸福结局
a fancy car and endless vacations to luxurious beaches.
但如果你的关系打算持续到永远
But if your relationship is going to last forever,
你可能不会
you’re probably not setting these
抱有这种不切实际的期望
kinds of unrealistic expectations.
到最后 你们拥有对方就足够了
In the end, you have each other and that’s enough.
人们很容易沉醉于
It’s easy to get swept away
自己想象中恋爱关系的模样
with what you think our relationship is supposed to be
但事实上 它于每个人而言都是不同的
but the truth is that it’s different for everyone.
如果这段感情真的注定持续到永远
If it’s really meant to last forever,
你就会接受它自然的发展
you’re fine with how your relationship progresses naturally.
你觉得两个人幸福地在一起需要什么？
What do you think makes for a happily ever after?
在下方给我们留言
Leave us a comment below
并说出你关于一段持久关系构成要素的想法
and tell us what makes for a lasting relationship.
我们还有表明ta是值得珍惜的人的迹象的视频
We also have a video on signs they’re a keeper.
记得观看哦
Be sure to check it out.
你不会后悔的
You won’t regret it.