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你还没有准备好谈恋爱的7个迹象

7 Signs You May Not Be Ready for a Relationship

来吧!心理学
psych2go.net
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在去赶赴约会的路上
Have you been going on dates
你没有犹豫过到底要不要开启一段关系呢?
and wondering whether you should start a relationship?
也有可能因为找到了新工作 或去了新学校而刚搬了家
Or maybe you just moved because you got a new job or go to a new school.
你谁都不认识又想交朋友
Since you don’t know anyone and wanna go connections,
你可能会问自己
you might be asking yourself,
“我应该去约会或者找对象吗?”
“Should I date and seek a relationship?”
由于社会规范化行为的存在
Due to social norms,
单身时 我们经常迫于压力去约会
we may often feel pressured to date when we’re single.
但是开启一段感情是需要郑重承诺的
But entering a relationship is a huge commitment.
你是否不清楚自己为什么不愿去尝试?
Have you been reluctant to try but not sure why?
以下是你可能还没有准备好谈恋爱的七个迹象
Here are 7 signs you may not be ready for a relationship.
1. 你妄想寻求完美恋人 而非提升自己
1.You care more about finding the perfect partner instead of working on yourself.
你是不是一直都做着找到了
Are you consistently daydreaming about
自己的白马王子或灰姑娘的白日梦?
finding your Prince Charming or Cinderella?
当你走在街头看到许多情侣牵着手
When you are walking down the streets and see many couples
或者等公交时看见他们一起听着情歌
holding hands or listening to love songs as you are waiting for the bus.
你自然会想自己的理想灵魂伴侣是哪位呢
It’s normal to think about who your ideal soulmate is.
当和某人来电时 爱情让你欣喜若狂
Love is exciting when you meet someone you share chemistry with.
但是爱情是需要经营才能长久的
But relationships always require work in order to survive.
小鹿乱撞并不是真正的爱情
Getting butterflies in your stomach isn’t ultimate love.
白马王子或者灰姑娘有时也会让你失望
Sometimes Prince Charming or Cinderella will let you down
没有人是完美无缺的
and it won’t be perfect.
不要浪费你所有的时间和精力去寻找
Don’t spend all your time and energy finding someone
完全符合你要求的人
who meets every requirement on your list.
相反 你应该努力提升自己
Instead, work on being the best version of yourself.
2. 你仍在为目标奋斗 探索真我
2.You are still working on your goals and discovering who you are.
你想去旅行 看看更大的世界吗?
Do you want to travel and see more of the world?
或者想做一些能帮你把爱好变成潜在职业的工作
Or join programs that help you turn your hobbies into potential careers?
做你自己并没有错
There’s nothing wrong with doing you.
事实上 探寻精神独立是一件大有裨益的事
In fact soul searching is an incredibly rewarding experience.
那样你才能反思自己 和优秀的人交往
That’s when you get to reflect, form connection with great people
做很多让你快乐的事情
and do more what makes you happy.
3. 你渴望得到拯救
3.You want someone to save you.
让别人救你脱离苦海其实并不浪漫
It’s not romantic to have someone save you from your problems or misery.
如果你不快乐或想寻找脱离困境的简单方法
If you are unhappy or want an easy way out of your problems,
爱情是帮不了你的
a relationship is not the answer.
你不能妄想有人会成为你的英雄
You can’t expect someone to be your hero
或者让你不再伤痛
or stop the hurt from hurting.
利用爱情来分散你的注意力是很危险的
It’s dangerous to use relationships to distract yourself from your problems.
事实上 那样还有可能引来靠依赖助成
And in fact it can even attract toxic partners
活着的不良伴侣
who feed off of codependent behavior.
积极生活 不要等某人出现
Live your life actively and don’t wait for someone to show up.
你需要帮助 这是很正常且健康的
If you need help, that’s normal and healthy.
处在人生低谷时
Surround yourself with supportive people
身边能有支持你的人就足够啦
who can be there for you on bad days.
4. 你试图拯救别人
4.You wanna save someone else.
你不能改变或弥补他人所承受的伤害
You can’t change or fix someone’s damage.
当你试图帮助某人摆脱恶习时
When you want to rescue someone from their bad habits,
你会更倾向于将他们当做一个项目
you will considering them more as a project
而不是你想建立关系的人
instead of someone you want to be in a relationship with.
尽管你可能爱上想要拯救的那个人
Although it’s possible to fall in love with someone you want to save,
但这不是一段良好健康的恋爱关系
this doesn’t create the best or healthiest relationships.
试图改变你心仪的那个人
Try to change someone who meets your expectations
只会让你失望
will only leave you with disappointment.
人人都有做出改变的能力
Everyone has the capability to change
但只能遵循自身的意愿 按自己的节奏来做
but through their own will and at their own pace.
5. 你依然惦念着前任
5.You still frequently think and talk about your ex.
你无法控制在何时何地会遇见谁
You can’t control when or who you meet.
这就是缘分总是妙不可言的原因吧
That’s why life works in mysterious ways.
不幸的是 缘分有时也不一定会有好结果
Unfortunately that’s how timing can sometimes be off.
就在你准备好开始一段恋情时
Just when you think you are ready to be in a relationship with someone,
他们可能仍处于情伤的恢复期
they may still be recovering from heartbreak
对前任念念不忘 或者前任正惦记着他们
and hang up on their ex or vice versa.
如果你很难从失恋中走出来 可以看看我们的这个视频
If you are having your hard time recovering, cheak out our video
“5个走出失恋阴影的方法”
“5 ways to deal with a breakup.”
6. 你不愿道歉或者承认错误
6.You have a hard time of apologizing or admiting when you are wrong.
每段关系的维持都需要相互妥协的
Because one word that describes what every relationship needs: compromise.
如果你总觉得自己永远是正确的
If you have a habit of thinking you are always right
总固执己见 而不是去把事情做好
and would rather hold on to your ego instead of making things right,
你可能应该暂缓一下恋爱计划
you may want to hold off entering a relationship.
先用心去学习如何爽快承认你的错误
Focus first on learning how to own up to your mistakes,
经常反思
reflect as often as you can
深思熟虑后再做决定
and become more self-aware about the decisions you make.
凡事皆有果
Everything has a consequence.
7. 你关闭了心门
7.You are emotionally closed off.
如果你总躲在自己围墙内
If you have a tendency to keep your walls up,
那你可能先要学会坦诚
then you may want to work on being vulnerable first.
试着先向你的朋友 家人或心理医生敞开心扉
Practice with your friends and family or a therapist.
谈恋爱意味着允许别人了解你的全部
Being in a relationship means allowing someone to see you for all that you are.
只有这样才会有人真的爱你
It’s the only way for someone to love you honestly.
但是如果你总是畏缩不前
But if you have the habit of holding back,
你须得先处理好自己恐惧和信任缺失问题
you must work through your fears and trust issues
才能对别人做出承诺
before commiting to someone.
一段健康的情感关系应该是两个人
A healthy relationship is about two people
同舟共济 一起成长
being able to take risks and grow together.
你不确定自己该不该去约会或谈恋爱吗?
Do you feel uncertain about dating or beginning your relationship?
在评论区分享你的想法吧
Please share your thoughts with us below.
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大家好
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It’s pretty cool and it even includes Pluto.
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希望大家生活愉快
and I hope you guys have an amazing day.
拜拜~
Bye.

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视频概述

恋爱不易 请务必要 确定一定以及肯定

听录译者

波妞妞

翻译译者

来吧!尉英俊

审核员

审核员YZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLKVdpwPXn0

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