When was the last time that you thought about attraction?
Was it an hour ago?
It’s likely that other people are thinking about it as much as you are.
Here’s seven psychological things we do
that make us less attractive.
Number one:acting cool and distant.
While procrastination might feel good,
it isn’t attractive.
In 1992,two psychologists named Marlon and Beach
were curious about the relationship between
how many times you see someone
and how attractive you find them.
They had four women pretend to be students
in a large intro psych class.
At the end of the semester,
students in the class were asked to rate
how attractive they found each of the women.
What the researchers found,
was that the fewer classes a woman attended,
the less attractive they were rated by other students.
The other students basically forgot about her.
I’ll try and remember this study the next time
I have to psych myself up to go to class.
Number two:acting clingy.
It’s the classic young love phenomenon,
constantly hanging out together.
Three social psychologists from the University of California,San Diego,
conducted a study on the relationship between
people’s physical proximity and how much they like each other.
The researchers made a surprising discovery;
they asked students to name who they liked and disliked.
The researchers found that
the students most liked people were those
who they frequently met face to face.
But the researchers also found that
the student’s least favorite people were those
with whom they were forced to spend time.
In other words, watch out that spending time with your crush
doesn’t end up with you getting on their nerves.
Number three:acting as if you don’t like your date all that much.
When grandma told you”it always pays to smile”,
where her words backed up by science?
Psychologist Curtis and Miller randomly paired participants;
one student in the pair was led to believe that
their partner either liked or disliked them.
Those who thought they were liked were nicer
and their partners ended up liking them more.
The researchers concluded that
so called reciprocal liking is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If your partner thinks you like them,
they’ll be nicer to you,
which in turn makes the whole relationship better.
And the opposite is also true;
if they think that you don’t like them,
they’ll be meaner
and the whole relationship will suffer.
Turns out that grandma was onto something.
Number four:revealing too much too soon.
In 2011, researchers told female undergrads that
their Facebook profiles had been viewed by male students,
and that they would now be viewing the profiles of those guys.
You can probably imagine that the women were intrigued.
The women were split into groups and were told
either that he liked their profile or
that the researchers didn’t know whether he liked their profile.
The women were most attracted to the men
who didn’t reveal whether they liked the women.
The researchers decided that
the more the women pondered the mysterious man,
the more he was on their mind,
and the more intrigued they became.
Austin Powers nickname was actually pretty honest.
The magical man of mystery does get the dates.
Number five:going on boring dates.
Two psychologists in Vancouver, Canada,
did a study on misattribution of arousal,
which is when people make mistaken inferences about
what is causing them to feel the way they do.
They had an attractive female research assistant
give male participants a questionnaire.
In the first group,
she asked them the questions
while they were on a scary suspension bridge.
In the second group,
she asked them while on a low, small bridge.
Those on the scary bridge were more excited because of the bridge
and were more attracted to the research assistant
and more likely to call her later.
下次约会 不要只喝咖啡 这很无聊
On your next date, don’t just get coffee,that’s boring.
Instead,go see fireworks or ride go-karts.
Number six:using cheesy pickup lines.
Psychologists who study attraction
have identified three general strategies for pickup lines;
例如 可爱或轻率的 你坐这还是我坐这？
cute/flippant, for example”your place or mine? “,
例如 无害的 你觉得音乐怎么样？
innocuous such as”what do you think of the music?”
and direct, as in,”can I buy you lunch?”.
A study asked men and women
which pickup lines they prefer to receive.
Most strategies worked for men being approached by women.
However,women tend to prefer innocuous
and direct lines over cute/flippant ones.
Bottom line; groaners aren’t attractive.
So now you know.
Asking someone”did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
is scientifically the lamest possible thing to say.
Number seven:not having a wingman or wingwomen.
Some people treat dating like a competition,
but did you also know that there’s lots of room
for cooperation among friends.
Having a third party make the introduction may be
the best strategy of all for guys trying to pick up women.
Especially in today’s dating world
where there’s more choice than ever,
daters have to overcome many hurdles
in order to catch someone’s interest.
Having someone make the introduction for you
automatically moves you past the difficult first stage
这很明显 你很好 你有朋友
and it makes it clear that you’re nice enough to have friends.
对不起 James Bond但是在现实世界中
Sorry James Bond, but in the real world,
the best romancers work in pairs.
In today’s fast-paced dating world,
people are quickly judged on first impressions.
But don’t worry,
all you have to do is make sure
you never do any of these seven unattractive things
and you’ll do fine.
Although,bringing chocolates never hurts either.