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让我们不那么受欢迎的七个心理事件 – 译学馆
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让我们不那么受欢迎的七个心理事件

7 Psychological Things That Can Make Us Less Attractive

你最后一次想到吸引力是什么时候呢?
When was the last time that you thought about attraction?
一个小时前吗?
Was it an hour ago?
五分钟前?
5 minutes?
还是10秒前呢?
10 seconds?
很可能其他人和你一样都在考虑这个问题
It’s likely that other people are thinking about it as much as you are.
下面是我们做的七件
Here’s seven psychological things we do
让我们不那么受欢迎的心理事件
that make us less attractive.
第一 举止冷漠且疏远
Number one:acting cool and distant.
虽然拖延可能让人感觉良好
While procrastination might feel good,
但它不具有吸引力
it isn’t attractive.
1992年 Marlon和Beach两位心理学家对
In 1992,two psychologists named Marlon and Beach
你见某人的次数
were curious about the relationship between
和他们对你的吸引力
how many times you see someone
二者之间关系感到好奇
and how attractive you find them.
他们让四位女性假装是
They had four women pretend to be students
一个大型心理入门班的学生
in a large intro psych class.
学期结束时
At the end of the semester,
班上的学生们被要求
students in the class were asked to rate
对每个女性的吸引力进行评价
how attractive they found each of the women.
研究人员发现
What the researchers found,
女性上的课越少
was that the fewer classes a woman attended,
其他学生对她们的吸引力就越小
the less attractive they were rated by other students.
其他学生基本上都忘记了她
The other students basically forgot about her.
下次去上课的时候
I’ll try and remember this study the next time
我会努力记住这项研究
I have to psych myself up to go to class.
第二 举止过于依赖
Number two:acting clingy.
经常黏在一起
It’s the classic young love phenomenon,
这是典型的年轻恋爱现象
constantly hanging out together.
来自加州大学圣地亚哥分校的三位社会心理学家
Three social psychologists from the University of California,San Diego,
对人们身体上的亲近程度
conducted a study on the relationship between
与他们彼此喜欢程度之间的关系做了研究
people’s physical proximity and how much they like each other.
研究人员给出了一个惊人的发现
The researchers made a surprising discovery;
他们要求学生说出喜欢和不喜欢的人
they asked students to name who they liked and disliked.
研究人员发现
The researchers found that
学生们最喜欢的是那些
the students most liked people were those
他们经常能见面的人
who they frequently met face to face.
但是研究人员还发现
But the researchers also found that
学生们最不喜欢的是
the student’s least favorite people were those
那些被迫和他们在一起的人
with whom they were forced to spend time.
换句话说 注意花适当时间陪伴你的爱人
In other words, watch out that spending time with your crush
这并不会激怒他们
doesn’t end up with you getting on their nerves.
第三 你的举止表现不太喜欢你的约会对象
Number three:acting as if you don’t like your date all that much.
当奶奶告诉你 微笑总是有好处的
When grandma told you”it always pays to smile”,
她的话哪里被科学所支持呢?
where her words backed up by science?
心理学家Curtis和Miller随机配对参与者
Psychologist Curtis and Miller randomly paired participants;
两人中的一位学生被引导相信
one student in the pair was led to believe that
他们的伴侣喜欢或者不喜欢他们
their partner either liked or disliked them.
那些认为喜欢他们的人更友善
Those who thought they were liked were nicer
他们的伴侣最终更喜欢他们
and their partners ended up liking them more.
研究人员得出结论
The researchers concluded that
所谓的相互喜欢是一种自我实现的预言
so called reciprocal liking is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
如果你的伴侣认为你喜欢他们
If your partner thinks you like them,
他们就会对你好
they’ll be nicer to you,
这样又会使整个关系更好
which in turn makes the whole relationship better.
相反的情况亦是如此
And the opposite is also true;
如果他们认为你不喜欢他们
if they think that you don’t like them,
他们会更刻薄
they’ll be meaner
整个关系也会受到影响
and the whole relationship will suffer.
原来奶奶早就有所发现
Turns out that grandma was onto something.
第四 暴露过多过快
Number four:revealing too much too soon.
2011年 研究人员告诉女大学生
In 2011, researchers told female undergrads that
她们的Facebook个人资料已经被男学生浏览过了
their Facebook profiles had been viewed by male students,
现在他们正在浏览那些男学生的个人资料
and that they would now be viewing the profiles of those guys.
你能够想象到 这些女大学生有多么感兴趣
You can probably imagine that the women were intrigued.
这些女大学生被分成了几个小组并且被告知
The women were split into groups and were told
要么男学生喜欢她们的个人资料
either that he liked their profile or
要么研究人员并不知道男学生是否喜欢她们的个人资料
that the researchers didn’t know whether he liked their profile.
女性会被那些不表现自己
The women were most attracted to the men
是否喜欢女性的男性所吸引
who didn’t reveal whether they liked the women.
为什么呢?
Why?
研究人员认为
The researchers decided that
女性越思考那个神秘的男性
the more the women pondered the mysterious man,
她们的脑海里就越想他
the more he was on their mind,
她们就越感兴趣
and the more intrigued they became.
《王牌大贱谍》的绰号其实相当诚实了
Austin Powers nickname was actually pretty honest.
神秘的神奇男人确实有约会对象
The magical man of mystery does get the dates.
第五 继续无聊的约会
Number five:going on boring dates.
加拿大 温哥华的两位心理学家
Two psychologists in Vancouver, Canada,
做了一项关于性唤起失调的研究
did a study on misattribution of arousal,
即 人们在何时会对使他们产生这种感觉的东西
which is when people make mistaken inferences about
做出错误的判断
what is causing them to feel the way they do.
他们中一位迷人的女性研究助理
They had an attractive female research assistant
给了男性参与者一份调查问卷
give male participants a questionnaire.
在第一组中
In the first group,
当男性参与者在一座可怕的吊桥上时
she asked them the questions
她问了他们这个问题
while they were on a scary suspension bridge.
而在第二组中
In the second group,
她询问时他们在一座低矮的小桥上
she asked them while on a low, small bridge.
那些在可怕的桥上的人因为桥而更加兴奋
Those on the scary bridge were more excited because of the bridge
并且更容易被研究助理所吸引
and were more attracted to the research assistant
也更可能稍后给她打电话
and more likely to call her later.
下次约会 不要只喝咖啡 这很无聊
On your next date, don’t just get coffee,that’s boring.
相反 可以去看烟花或者骑卡丁车
Instead,go see fireworks or ride go-karts.
第六 使用俗气的搭讪方式
Number six:using cheesy pickup lines.
研究吸引力的心理学家们
Psychologists who study attraction
已经确定了三种搭讪方式的一般策略
have identified three general strategies for pickup lines;
例如 可爱或轻率的 你坐这还是我坐这?
cute/flippant, for example”your place or mine? “,
例如 无害的 你觉得音乐怎么样?
innocuous such as”what do you think of the music?”
或直接说 我能请你吃午餐吗?
and direct, as in,”can I buy you lunch?”.
一项研究询问了男性和女性
A study asked men and women
他们更喜欢哪种搭讪方式
which pickup lines they prefer to receive.
大多数策略都适用于男性去接触女性
Most strategies worked for men being approached by women.
然而 比起可爱或轻率的搭讪
However,women tend to prefer innocuous
女性更喜欢无害和直接的搭讪
and direct lines over cute/flippant ones.
底线是 呻吟者没有吸引力
Bottom line; groaners aren’t attractive.
所以现在你知道了
So now you know.
若你问别人 你从天堂摔下时受伤了吗?
Asking someone”did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
科学上来说 这是最蹩脚的搭讪方式
is scientifically the lamest possible thing to say.
第七 没有僚机和女僚机
Number seven:not having a wingman or wingwomen.
有些人认为约会是一种竞争
Some people treat dating like a competition,
但你也知道朋友之间
but did you also know that there’s lots of room
有很大的合作空间
for cooperation among friends.
让第三方做介绍可能是
Having a third party make the introduction may be
男性挑选女性的最佳策略
the best strategy of all for guys trying to pick up women.
尤其是在当今的约会世界
Especially in today’s dating world
有比以往任何时候更多的选择
where there’s more choice than ever,
约会者必须克服许多障碍
daters have to overcome many hurdles
才能吸引别人的兴趣
in order to catch someone’s interest.
倘若有人为你做介绍
Having someone make the introduction for you
会自动让你越过困难的第一阶段
automatically moves you past the difficult first stage
这很明显 你很好 你有朋友
and it makes it clear that you’re nice enough to have friends.
对不起 James Bond但是在现实世界中
Sorry James Bond, but in the real world,
最好的浪漫主义是成对工作
the best romancers work in pairs.
在当今快节奏的约会世界中
In today’s fast-paced dating world,
人们很快就会给第一印象评价
people are quickly judged on first impressions.
但是不要担心
But don’t worry,
你所要做的就是确保
all you have to do is make sure
你从不做这七件不吸引人事情中的任何一件
you never do any of these seven unattractive things
你会做的很好
and you’ll do fine.
尽管如此 带巧克力也没有坏处
Although,bringing chocolates never hurts either.

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视频概述

在与人交往中,我们如何才能展现自己的吸引力呢?本视频将会告诉你七个让人不那么欢迎的心理事件

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHZin-ZuM-Q

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