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7个不健康关系的早期迹象

7 Early Signs of A Toxic Relationship

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[Music]
嗨,朋友们!在我们开始本期视频前
Hi, everyone! Before we begin this video today,
我们想感谢你们
we just want to say thank you
帮我们完成了六个大零
for helping us reach the big six zeroes
和超过7千万的播放次数的目标
and over 70 million views.
我们会继续努力
We will continue to do our best to
提供质量稳定的视频
provide consistent quality videos.
我们的目标是让心理学走近每一个人
Our vision is to make psychology accessible for everyone,
同时提高精神健康的意识
at the same time, is raising awareness on mental health.
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Hope you guys continue to support us.
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和拓展计划提供资金支持
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请看完本期视频
Stick around for the end of the video
看下你会如何参与进来
to see how you can be involved
闲话少说
and without further ado,
让我们开始吧
Let’s get right to it.
波普艺术家安迪·沃霍尔曾说
Pop artist Andy Warhol states,
人们应该闭着眼睛坠入情网
People should fall in love with their eyes closed.
在这句引语中
In this quote,
他说的是人们
he’s referring to the magic people feel
开始在乎彼此时的魔力
when they start to mean something to one another.
这听起来美好而理想化
It sounds ideal and spectacular.
但如果我们爱上的人
But what if the person we fall for
不是想象中的那个人呢?
isn’t who we think they are?
那么是时候睁大眼睛
That’s when it’s important to keep our eyes open
注意观察什么会使我们陷入险境
and watch out for what can put us in danger.
这里有7个你可能处于
Here are seven early signs
不健康关系的早期迹象
you may be in a toxic relationship.
1. 你的搭档有很重的前任包袱
1. Your partner has heavy ex-baggage.
时间对一段关系的成败
Timing plays a major factor
有着重要的影响
on relationships that can either make it or break it.
如果你发现你总是在你的恋人为前任心碎时
If you find yourself constantly consoling your partner,
安慰你的恋人
as they mourn over their ex,
那是他们还没走出来的标志
then it’s a sign they haven’t moved on yet.
在准备好开始新的感情前
They need time to grieve
他们需要时间来难受
and heal over the loss of their ex
和走出前任的的阴影
before they are ready to enter a relationship again.
但当你坠入爱河时
But when you’re in love,
你容易变得过分乐观 忽视这个事实
it’s easy to get hopeful and become blind to the fact
即当你的恋人的心不在你身上时
that your partner isn’t emotionally invested in you,
他们没有对你投入感情
when their heart still belongs elsewhere.
最后你会成为那个被伤害的人
Ultimately you’ll end up being the one getting hurt.
要清楚你不只是别人哭泣时可以靠的肩膀
Recognize that your role isn’t solely to be a shoulder to cry on.
你值得像其他人一样被爱
You deserve love just like anyone else.
但如果你只顾着为恋人难过
But you can’t receive that
你就看不到这一点
if you’re busy being someone’s rebound.
2. 你的恋人经常欺瞒你几乎所有的事
2. Your partner often lies to you about nearly everything.
如果是无私的话
There’s no harm in telling an occasional white lie
那偶尔说个善意的谎言也没什么
if it comes from a selfless place.
但如果你发现你的恋人总是在骗你
But if you find your partner constantly telling you lies,
甚至是些小事
even over small matters,
那么是时候重新想想
then it’s time to re-evaluate
你能对他们有几分信任
how much you can trust them.
一段健康的关系建立在坦诚
A healthy relationship is built on honesty,
理解和畅谈之上
understanding and open communication.
但你的恋人只会让你
But your partner is only holding you back
远离那个方向
from going in that direction.
但他们选择隐瞒他们的真实感受和想法
But they choose not to tell you their true feelings and intentions.
3. 你的恋人喜欢对你甜言蜜语
3. Your partner love bombs you.
情感攻势是情感操控者
Love bombing is a technique emotional manipulators
为达到目的的一种手段
use to get what they want.
它包括对你十分的关注
It involves offering you intense attention
对你糖衣炮弹的轰炸
and bombarding you with many compliments.
当你的恋人努力取悦你时
When your partner tries to win your heart over,
他们会故意吹捧你
they will purposely put you on a pedestal
让你依赖他们
to make you feel reliant on them.
他们通过这样做使自己成为你唯一的依靠
They do this, so they can be your only source you go to.
那让你自我感觉良好
That makes you feel good about yourself.
但这有发展成依赖助存关系的危险
But this dangerously develops into a codependent relationship
这对你们俩都不利
that makes it toxic for the both of you.
事实上
In fact,
我们做过一个视频
we even made a video
讲的是不同的情感操控
on the different types of emotional manipulation
你们等会儿可以看看
that you can check out later.
4. 你的恋人频繁地监视你
4. Your partner frequently monitors you.
找你聊天对保持你们的
Checking in is important to make sure
步调一致有重要的作用
you and your partner are on the same page.
但如果你的恋人总是来烦你
But if your partner is constantly bugging you,
那他们就有点过分了
then they are stepping over the line
侵犯了你的隐私意识
and invading your sense of privacy.
频繁地监视的例子有
Examples of frequent monitoring
要求看你的聊天记录
include asking to see your text messages,
电话记录和邮箱
phone calls and emails
还有成天给你打电话 发消息
and constantly calling or texting you throughout the day,
问你在哪儿 在干嘛
ask where you are or what you’re up to.
这是由缺乏安全感
This stems from insecurity
和他们的控制欲导致的
and a need for them to feel in control
而这会让你感到窒息
which leaves you very little room to breathe
不能享受爱情以外的生活
and have a life outside of your relationship,
而这对维持你的个体独立性是很重要的
which is important to have in order to maintain your individuality.
在我们进入下一点之前
Before we move to the next point,
我们想要感谢赞助商Betterhelp
we want to also thank our sponsor Betterhelp
他们让本视频成为可能
for making this video possible.
Betterhelp对任何年龄的人来说都是一个
Betterhelp is an affordable and reliable online counseling platform
能用得起的 可靠的在线咨询平台
for everyone of all ages.
如果你感兴趣的话
If you’re interested,
我们为你们
we left to refer a link
在下方简介处留了链接
in the video description below for you to use.
5. 你的恋人将你与外界隔离
5. Your partner isolates you.
如果你总是在和朋友聚会前
If you always feel like you need to ask for permission
或和家人闲逛前
before attending events with friends,
需要征求到恋人的允许
or to hang out with family,
那你的恋人占有欲就有点太强了
then your partner may be possessive.
虽然你的恋人呵护着你很甜蜜
Although it’s sweet if your partner is protective of you,
但关心你和缠着你是有区别的
there’s the difference between being caring versus being clinging.
施虐者倾向于孤立他们的恋人
Abusers have a tendency to isolate their partner
来防止别人帮他们逃走
to prevent others from helping them escape.
他们可能还会努力
They may also try to stir up drama
在你和亲友间搞事情
between you and your family and friends
让你们不再与他们亲近
so you no longer feel as close to them.
这只会帮他们
This only helps them maintain
保持对你的控制和影响力
their power and control over you.
6. 你的恋人对你喜怒无常
6. Your partner blows hot and cold on you a lot.
施虐者用喜怒无常的技巧
Abusers use the hot and cold technique
来牵着你的鼻子走
in order to keep you on their leash.
如果你的恋人在你让他们不爽的时候离开
If your partner withdraws from you when upset them,
却在你取悦他们之后
but comes running back to you with full speed,
飞速回到你身边
after you’ve done something to make them happy,
那这就是他们为达到目的的手段了
then this is their way of getting what they want.
喜怒无常的对待鞭促着你
The hot and cold treatment acts as a reinforcement
遵循他们的条款和规定
for you to behave by their own terms and regulations.
这就是爱情关系怎样变成从属关系
This is how relationships turn into ownership,
而不是平等的妥协
instead of equal compromise.
7. 你发现自己总是和恋人重新开始
7. You constantly find yourself starting over with your partner.
吵架是正常的 每一段恋情都会有的
Fighting is normal and expected in any relationship.
但如果你频繁地
But if you have a common pattern of
和你的恋人重新开始
starting over with your partner frequently,
那可能是时候找找原因了
then maybe it’s time to examine why.
经常这样做影响很坏
Keeping up often has a negative connotation associated to it.
虽然有时这也不失为明智之举
But sometimes it’s also the right choice,
我们常常抓住无力挽回的事情
We usually hold on longer to something
不肯放手
that’s not working
因为我们害怕不再被爱
because we’re afraid no one else will love us.
但这就是恐惧如何
But this is how your fears
毁掉你发现真实的东西的机会
ruin your chances of finding something real.
爱总是值得的
Love is always worth it,
即使是要你摆脱真实的人
if it means setting yourself free from the real people.
你是否正在经历这些现象呢?
Are you experiencing these signs?
我们想让你们知道你们并不孤单
We want you to know that you’re not alone
并且有办法得到帮助和安全
and there are ways to seek help and safety.
你们可能注意到了
As you guys might have noticed
这一周我们专注于讲述
this week we’ve been focusing a lot on topics
很多不健康动机的话题
related to toxic dynamics.
你们还想要我们做更多还没讲过的
Do you want us to make more videos on toxic situations
关于不健康处境的视频吗?
that haven’t been covered yet?
请在下方向我们分享你们的想法
Please share your thoughts with us below.
同时不要忘记订阅Psych2go来观看更多内容哦
Also don’t forget to subscribe for more content from Psych2go
还有了解下我们的赞助商
and check out our patreon.
谢谢收看!
Thanks for watching!
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[Music]
嗨 我是莱斯莉 Psycho2go的一名新动画师
Hi, I’m Leslie, a new animator for Psycho2go.
我做了那个关于虐待类型的视频
I did the video on types of abuse
还有其它几个还没发布的视频
as well as a few others waiting to be released.
如果你们喜欢并且还想看我的更多作品
If you like my work and want to see more,
请给本视频点赞或者了解下我们的赞助商
give this video a thumbs up or check out our patreon.
谢谢收看!
Thanks for watching!
嘿 各位!我本人想要
Hey, everybody! I just want to
感谢你们
give a personal thank-you video
一直以来对Psych2go的支持
for you guys for always supporting
让这一切对我们成为可能
Psych2go and making this all possible for us.
我们的目标是使心理学尽可能的普及
Our vision is to make psychology as accessible as possible
使你们能提高自我意识
so that it promotes self-awareness
并且帮助你们成长
and it helps you guys grow.
但我们想为你们做更多视频
However, we want to make more content for you guys
希望你们可以
and would love your support in
在我们的伙伴Introvert Palace那里买一条手链
buying one of these bracelets from our partner
来支持我们
Introvert Palace.
了解下这个手链吧 它又好看又酷
Check out the bracelet. It’s pretty cool and
还有冥王星呢!
even includes Pluto!
购买链接会在下面的简介里
The link to purchase will all be in the description below
希望你们过着愉快的一天
and I hope you guys have an amazing day.
再见!
Bye!
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视频概述

如果你爱的那个人不是你想象中的那个人怎么办?

听录译者

徘徊的小孩

翻译译者

HE

审核员

审核员HL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDNMvuQrcGk

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