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6种不健康的父女关系 – 译学馆
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6种不健康的父女关系

6 Types of Unhealthy Father Daughter Relationships

歌手约翰·梅尔有首歌叫《Daughters》
Singer John Mayer has a song called “Daughters”
讲述的是父亲对女儿的重要性
that discusses the importance of fathers being there for their daughters.
梅尔想要强调的是
Mayer wanted to emphasize the message
女儿应在童年时代受到良好的培养
that daughters have to be nurtured well in their childhoods.
因为那些行为会影响
Because those actions will affect
她们成年后的人际关系
the relationships they have when they become adults.
不是每个女孩都能得到所期待的照顾
But not every girl gets the treatment they hope for.
有些女孩成长得很艰难 从她们所谓的父亲那里
Some of them grew up with hardships and only understood the unstable fragile love
她们只懂得了不稳定且脆弱的爱
they received from the person they called their dad.
以下是六种不健康的父女关系的类型
Here’s six types of unhealthy father-daughter relationships.
1.缺失的父亲
No.1 The Lost Father.
缺失的父亲是指那些出现在女儿生活中
The lost father is someone who is physically present in their daughter’s lives,
却在感情上抛弃她们的父亲
but abandons her emotionally.
这类型的父亲从不表扬女儿的成功
He never praises her daughter for her accomplishments
或者也不会注意到她们所经历的改变
or notices the changes that she’s going through.
因此 缺失父亲的女儿们
As a result, daughters with a lost father
常对她们的自我认同感到困惑
often feel confused about their self-identity
也难以认清自己的优势和天赋
and have trouble identifying their strengths and talents.
她们也会有自卑的问题
They also typically suffer from low self-esteem issues
而且通常在恋爱中寻求她们渴望的爱和情感
and usually look for the love and affection they crave in the romantic relationships.
2.暴虐的父亲
No.2 The Abusive Father.
暴虐的父亲的情绪经常不稳定 而且
The abusive father often has unstable moods and
会有不可预测的自我毁灭性行为
exhibits unpredictable destructive behavior.
这类型的父亲通常难以控制自己的愤怒
He usually has a hard time controlling his anger
会将压力转移的女儿身上
and takes his stress out on his daughter,
表现为口头 身体或性虐待
which results in verbal, physical or sexual abuse.
暴虐的父亲只关心他自己的需求
The abusive father only cares about his own needs
无法正确对待自己的女儿
and fails to treat his daughter right.
暴虐父亲的女儿们
Daughters of abusive fathers
经常成长在缺乏真正的认同的环境中
often grow up with no true identity.
她们恐惧 担心
They are fearful, timid and
更愿意躲在角落不被注意
prefer not to be noticed by others.
在恋爱关系中 暴虐父亲的女儿
In romantic relationships, daughters of abusive father’s
会被自己的伴侣虐待
expect to be mistreated by their partners
并与脆弱和亲密行为作斗争
and struggle with vulnerability and intimacy.
3.过分溺爱的父亲
No.3 The Pampering Father.
过分溺爱的父亲与暴虐的父亲相反
The pampering father is the opposite from the abusive father
暴虐的父亲所索取的就是过度溺爱的父亲所给予的
whereas the abusive father takes the pampering father gives.
这类型的父亲没有设定健康的界限
He doesn’t set healthy boundaries
把女儿当成公主对待
and treats his daughter like a princess.
因此 她们在成长过程中
Consequently, she often grows up
变得好指使人且自私
being manipulative and self-absorbed.
在恋爱关系中 过分溺爱父亲的女儿
In romantic relationships, daughters of pampering fathers
通常需求别人服务于自己
usually seek to be served and
而且把自己的需求至于她们的伴侣之上
puts her needs first over their partners.
过分溺爱的父亲难以对女儿说不
Pampering fathers have a hard time saying no
任由他们的女儿被宠坏
and allow their daughters to be spoiled.
他们担心自己自私自利 管得太多
They worry about being mean and controlling
因此 他们自然地表示很支持女儿
and thus mistake they’re giving nature to be supportive.
当他们没有教会他们女儿
When they fail to teach their daughters
尊重自己
to treat them with respect.
4.有毒的父亲
No. 4 The Toxic Father.
有毒的父亲和女儿之间创造了
The toxic father creates a
一种相互依存的关系
codependent relationship with his daughter.
这种类型的父亲执行直升机父母的教育
He often exercises helicopter parenting
随着女儿的成长
and has a hard time letting go of his daughter
他们却无法放手
as she grows up.
即使当女儿有能力照顾自己的时候
Even when she’s capable of taking care of herself,
他也会折断她们的翅膀
he clips her wings off.
让她们只能依赖她们的父亲
So she can rely on him for support.
有毒的父亲无法教会自己的女儿
The toxic father fails to teach his daughter
成长所需的生活技能
the proper life skills she needs to grow.
他经常盛气凌人地替自己的女儿做决定
He often domineers and makes decisions for her,
认为自己在为她好
thinking he knows what’s best for her.
因此 有毒父亲的女儿
As a result, daughters of toxic fathers
难以成功地独立生活
have a hard time living successful independent lives.
5.毁灭性父亲
No.5 The Ruined Father.
毁灭性父亲总是依赖
The ruined father constantly relies on
自己的女儿生存
his daughter to survive.
这种类型的父亲或许患有某种瘾 严重抑郁症
He may suffer from an addiction, severe depression
或许失业 为了使自己振作起来
or be unemployed and meets his daughter by his side
他们把女儿留在身边
in order to function.
这种类型的父亲经常让自己的女儿
He often guilt trips his daughter
陷入负罪感之中
into doing favors for him,
当女儿试图脱离他们的监管时
which he’ll lead to bitterness and anger down the road
这种关系会使她的脱离之路变得
as she tries to make it out on her own
苦涩和愤怒
without having to look out for him.
毁灭性父亲的女儿非常无私
The daughters of ruined fathers tend to be selfless
也难以与他人设定健康的界限
and have a hard time setting healthy boundaries with others.
因为她们不得不在她们的父亲生活中
Because they had to play the role of
扮演照顾者的角色
a caretaker all their lives.
成年后
As they reach adulthood,
她们可能会步入一种因过于细致照顾伴侣
they may enter relationships where they end up baby
却没有收到同等的爱和关注
or giving their partner special treatment
而扼杀在摇篮中的关系
without receiving the same love and attention.
6.极度痛苦的父亲
No. 6 The Anguished Father.
极度痛苦的父亲总是让他们的女儿失望
The anguish father constantly lets his daughter down.
因此 女儿们会选择叛逆行为和
As a result, she reacts to his perceived faults.
不健康的生活方式
failures and in differences with
如饮食失调或
rebellious behavior and unhealthy lifestyle choices,
危险性关系来回应
such as eating disorders or risky sex
父亲的错误和冷漠
to demonstrate what’s bothering her.
极度痛苦父亲的女儿
Daughter’s of anguish fathers
选择不健康的决定
take part in unhealthy choices,
希望她们的自虐行为
hoping that their self damage
会影响她们的父亲
will influence their fathers to stop
使他们摒弃自己的坏习惯
or quit their own bad habits.
她们愿意伤害自己
They are willing to hurt themselves.
因为她们不懂得如何处理
Because they don’t know how to address the concerns
自己对父亲的关心
they have for them that will reach them.
虽然极度痛苦父亲的女儿
Although daughters of anguish fathers
可能觉得自己可以为所欲为
might feel like they are free to do as they please.
但事实上 她们被自己
In reality, they are actually trapped
父亲的情感所困住
by the feeling they have towards their fathers
这种困惑强烈地展现在
that are strongly expressed in
她们的反应和行为之中
their reactions and behavior.
你对哪种不健康的父女关系类型
Which type of unhealthy father-daughter relationship
有共鸣呢?
do you resonate with?
我们知道 谈论
We know how hard it is to
有毒家庭动态关系很困难
talk about toxic family dynamics
我们想为大家创造一个安全 没有偏见的空间
and want to be a safe non-judgmental place for you.
请在下面评论区与我们分享你的故事
Please share your story with us down below.
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感谢观看
Thanks for watching!

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视频概述

父亲对于女儿成长很重要。不同类型的父女关系会影响她们不同的特征。哪些是不健康的父女关系?

听录译者

Felicity

翻译译者

徘徊的小孩

审核员

审核员YZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ZXpuXEmiw

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