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6个维护异地恋的窍门 – 译学馆
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6个维护异地恋的窍门

6 Tips on Maintaining Long Distance Relationships

来吧!心理学
psych2go.net
大家普遍认同异地恋不会有好结果
It’s popular believed that long-distance relationships never work out.
但有时离别确实能加深感情
But sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder
并且当伴侣不总是在身边时
and people learn to take their partners less for granted
人们就会学着感激对方
when they are not always around.
值得注意的是 一些异地恋的情侣
It’s also worth noting that some couples far away from
要比一起住的情侣更亲密
each other feel closer than couples who live with each other.
因为他们更愿意沟通彼此的问题
Because they’re more willing to communicate their problems with one another.
异地恋是否可行都归到一个词 “努力”
It all boils down to one word “effort”.
这里有6个维持异地恋的窍门
Here’s 6 tips on maintaining long-distance relationships.
1.给对方可保存的个性礼物
1. Give them a personal gift to hold onto.
在你们分离前 给对方一些
Before the two of you depart, give each other something
可以保存并可以想起彼此的东西
you can hold onto and remember one another by.
这里有一些可以给大家启发的小例子
A few examples you may be inspired by include exchanging nightlights,
比如变光小夜灯 毛绒动物 珠宝 连帽衫或马克杯
stuffed animals, jewelry, hoodies or mugs.
赠与伴侣的礼物
What you decide to give your partner
不需要体积非常大或者价格昂贵
doesn’t have to be big or expensive.
相反 要关注物品给你们的生活
Instead, focus on how the object
带来了什么意义
has served to bring meaning into your life.
2.制作作息时间表并了解对方的日程
2. Set routines and learn about each other’s schedules.
你们的时区可能不同 但是学着接受时间差
Time zones can be tricky, but learn to appreciate the difference.
可以使你体会耐心的价值
This can teach you the value of patience
提醒你感情不会从
and remind you that relationships don’t
即时满足的时刻得到茁壮发展
thrive or grow from moments of instant gratification.
一旦你和伴侣关系稳定
Once you and your partner gets settled in
并适应了你们新的生活方式
and adjust to your new lifestyles.
让对方知道你的日程和作息
Let each other know about your schedules and routines.
根据时间差的不同
Depending on how much of difference your time zone is,
你可能需要轮流
you may need to take turns
适应对方可用网络电话
accommodating to each others’ availability
或电话沟通交流的时间
to set up Skype dates or phone calls.
这可能听上去很可怕
It may sound daunting
但是一旦你们弄清楚了
but once the two of you figure out a rhythm
适合你们两个人的节奏 剩下的就会顺利进行了
that works for the both of you, the rest will set sail.
3.建立信任并尝试不要轻易下结论
3. Build trust and try not to jump to conclusions
或是把事情往坏的方向考虑
or assume the worst.
生活是不确定的
Life can be unpredictable,
有时候很多事情会出现
so sometimes things come up
比如家庭突发事件 加班或是生病
such as family emergencies, working overtime or illness
这些都会打乱正常的交流模式
that may interrupt your usual communication patterns.
与其担心伴侣是不是出轨了
Rather than worrying about whether your partner is cheating on you
或是不是对感情感到乏味了
or if they’ve grown bored of the relationship
不如多花时间在他们的朋友那里
and maybe spending more time with their friends,
了解是否有确切的证据
know that there is no actual proof or evidence
支持那些你所担心的想法
to back up those anxious thoughts.
与伴侣建立信任
Build trust with your partner
询问对方“感觉如何”
and ask each other “how you’re feeling.,
而不是养成不安全感 增加隔阂
rather than bottling up insecurity and making the walls bigger,
直接从伴侣口中得到答案
getting answers directly from your partner
要比你自己分析和填补感情的缺口好得多
is better than over analyzing and filling in those gaps yourself.
4.不在于你们
4. It’s not about
交流有多频繁
how often you talk to each other.
而要关注有质量的沟通
Instead, focus on quality communication.
持续的沟通对
Consistent communication is important
分居两地的情侣很重要
when the two of you are apart from each other,
特别是当缺少身体接触时
especially when the physical aspect of the relationship is absent.
但是沟通太频道也可能有反效果
But too much of it, can also backfire and
让两个人感到窒息或者激情燃尽
leave the two of you feeling smothered or burnt out,
与其一天中每隔一个小时都发短信
rather than texting each other every hour of the day
不如找到平衡和度
find balance and moderaton
并关注沟通的质量
and focus on the quality of your conversations
而不是关注两个人谈话的频率
instead of how frequently the two of you talk.
你可能发现两个人沟通的越多
You may come to find that the more you talk to each other
最后你们就越会谈论同一件事
the more you end up talking about the same things in circles
还不如探究有意义的对话
rather than delving into a meaningful conversation
这会让你们喜欢对方智慧的想法和视角
that makes you appreciate each other’s intellect ideas and perspectives.
5.抽时间去见对方
5. Make time to see each other
但是要知道每一次见面并不一定都是完美的
but know that every visit may not be ideal,
这也是没有关系的
and that’s okay.
当你们见面时
When you visit each other,
你可能想一起充分利用时间
you may want to make the best out of your time together
计划去做一些刺激的事情 但我们都是人
and plan to do exciting things, but we are all human,
因此 留出灵活的空间而不要只期待完美
so allow room for flexibility instead of perfection.
可能会有这样的时刻
there may be times
你被来回旅行累的疲惫不堪
when you are exhausted from traveling back and forth
只想待在房间里
and just want to stay in
和伴侣一起看电影
and watch a movie with your partner
或者可能你们的飞机误点了
or perhaps there was a delay in your flight
耽误了原本预定的晚餐
that may bleed into your dinner reservations.
一起和伴侣做有趣的事情并黏在一起是很重要的
Doing fun activities and bonding with your partner is important
但是有时候随机应变
but sometimes it’s good to just
随遇而安反而更好
play things by ear and go with the flow.
记住关键在于陪伴
Remember it’s about the company you are with
而两个人做什么并不重要
and not necessarily what the two of you do.
6.一起迎接挑战
6. Embrace the challenges together.
异地恋困难重重
Long-distance relationships are difficult,
但不要让挑战将你们分开
but don’t let the challenges tear you apart.
相反 要一起迎接挑战
Instead, embrace them together.
有时你的不安全感可能会占上风
Sometimes your insecurities may get the best of you.
然后你可能会相信
Consequently you may believe the two of you would be better off
分手和结识新朋友会更好
breaking up and meeting new people.
退后一步 思考一下
Take a step back and think about why
你为什么一开始就坚持这么久
you held on for so long in the first place.
不论你们俩是因为
Whether the two of you are apart
要去不同的学校
because you are going to different schools,
或是因为升职而分开
or because of a drop promotion,
要明白异地恋只是暂时的
know that the long distance is only temporary and that
而且在你们两个人能再在一起之前
you’re working on yourselves
你们要自己努力学习和工作
before the two of you can be together again.
认为保持感情正常运转
It’s a common misconception to think
一个人必须为了对方
that in order for relationships to work.
牺牲需求和欲望
One person has to sacrifice their needs
是普遍的误解
and desires for the other.
事实上 当人们感到窒息并且不能一起成长
In reality, this is how relationships often break apart
感情就常常容易破裂
when people feel stifled and can’t grow together.
千万不要忽视大局
Never lose sight of the big picture
不要轻易放弃
and don’t give up.
你曾经经历过
Have you ever been
或正在经历异地恋吗?
or are currently in a long-distance relationship?
你有应对异地恋的技巧吗?
Do you have some tips on how to deal with one?
在下方的评论区畅所欲言吧
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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感谢观看!
Thanks for watching.

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视频概述

怎么维护异地恋?快进来看

听录译者

Felicity

翻译译者

波妞妞

审核员

审核员 HZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcwCXROmGSM

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