It’s popular believed that long-distance relationships never work out.
But sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder
and people learn to take their partners less for granted
when they are not always around.
It’s also worth noting that some couples far away from
each other feel closer than couples who live with each other.
Because they’re more willing to communicate their problems with one another.
It all boils down to one word “effort”.
Here’s 6 tips on maintaining long-distance relationships.
1. Give them a personal gift to hold onto.
Before the two of you depart, give each other something
you can hold onto and remember one another by.
A few examples you may be inspired by include exchanging nightlights,
比如变光小夜灯 毛绒动物 珠宝 连帽衫或马克杯
stuffed animals, jewelry, hoodies or mugs.
What you decide to give your partner
doesn’t have to be big or expensive.
Instead, focus on how the object
has served to bring meaning into your life.
2. Set routines and learn about each other’s schedules.
Time zones can be tricky, but learn to appreciate the difference.
This can teach you the value of patience
and remind you that relationships don’t
thrive or grow from moments of instant gratification.
Once you and your partner gets settled in
and adjust to your new lifestyles.
Let each other know about your schedules and routines.
Depending on how much of difference your time zone is,
you may need to take turns
accommodating to each others’ availability
to set up Skype dates or phone calls.
It may sound daunting
but once the two of you figure out a rhythm
that works for the both of you, the rest will set sail.
3. Build trust and try not to jump to conclusions
or assume the worst.
Life can be unpredictable,
so sometimes things come up
such as family emergencies, working overtime or illness
that may interrupt your usual communication patterns.
Rather than worrying about whether your partner is cheating on you
or if they’ve grown bored of the relationship
and maybe spending more time with their friends,
know that there is no actual proof or evidence
to back up those anxious thoughts.
Build trust with your partner
and ask each other “how you’re feeling.,
rather than bottling up insecurity and making the walls bigger,
getting answers directly from your partner
is better than over analyzing and filling in those gaps yourself.
4. It’s not about
how often you talk to each other.
Instead, focus on quality communication.
Consistent communication is important
when the two of you are apart from each other,
especially when the physical aspect of the relationship is absent.
But too much of it, can also backfire and
leave the two of you feeling smothered or burnt out,
rather than texting each other every hour of the day
find balance and moderaton
and focus on the quality of your conversations
instead of how frequently the two of you talk.
You may come to find that the more you talk to each other
the more you end up talking about the same things in circles
rather than delving into a meaningful conversation
that makes you appreciate each other’s intellect ideas and perspectives.
5. Make time to see each other
but know that every visit may not be ideal,
and that’s okay.
When you visit each other,
you may want to make the best out of your time together
and plan to do exciting things, but we are all human,
so allow room for flexibility instead of perfection.
there may be times
when you are exhausted from traveling back and forth
and just want to stay in
and watch a movie with your partner
or perhaps there was a delay in your flight
that may bleed into your dinner reservations.
Doing fun activities and bonding with your partner is important
but sometimes it’s good to just
play things by ear and go with the flow.
Remember it’s about the company you are with
and not necessarily what the two of you do.
6. Embrace the challenges together.
Long-distance relationships are difficult,
but don’t let the challenges tear you apart.
Instead, embrace them together.
Sometimes your insecurities may get the best of you.
Consequently you may believe the two of you would be better off
breaking up and meeting new people.
Take a step back and think about why
you held on for so long in the first place.
Whether the two of you are apart
because you are going to different schools,
or because of a drop promotion,
know that the long distance is only temporary and that
you’re working on yourselves
before the two of you can be together again.
It’s a common misconception to think
that in order for relationships to work.
One person has to sacrifice their needs
and desires for the other.
In reality, this is how relationships often break apart
when people feel stifled and can’t grow together.
Never lose sight of the big picture
and don’t give up.
Have you ever been
or are currently in a long-distance relationship?
Do you have some tips on how to deal with one?
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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