这里是激励胶囊
Improvement Pill here
欢迎来到《驯服课程》第11节
welcome to Lesson #11of the Tamed Course
在我们之前的课程中
In our previous lessons –
我们学习了习惯和意志力是如何运作的
We learned about how habits and willpower work
但是今天我们将会探讨一些直达根源的东西
but today we’re going to talk about something that strikes at the root of our problem.
我们会谈到六个你生活中必须拥有的事物
We’re going to talk about 6 things that you must have in your life.
你也许能够养成几个好习惯
You might be able to build a couple of good habits,
你也许能够增加你的意志力
you might be able to increase yourwill power
但是没有这6个人类的基本需求 你将不能永久地克服癖瘾
but without these 6 fundamental human needs you will not be able to overcome your addiction for good.
这个概念最先由托尼·罗宾森提出
And this is a concept that was first introduced by Tony Robbins.
所以 让我们直入主题吧
So let’s jump right into it:
人类的第一种基本需求是确定感
The first fundamental human need is a sense of Certainty.
人们需要对未来的期望有概念
Human beings need to have some idea of what to expect in the future.
比如说 一周工作40小时
For example: going to work for 40 hours a week
并知道自己每周能挣500美元
and knowing that you’ll make say 500 $ every week.
如果我们的生活没有确定性 将会带来巨大的压力
If we do not have certainty in our lives, that creates a tremendous amount of stress.
想象一下 每天按时上班
Imagine showing up to work everyday and not
直到每周结束你也不知道能拿到多少钱
knowing what your paycheck is going to look like at the end of the week.
你还有多少自信能点菜买单呢？
How confident will you be about paying the bills and putting food on the table?
当我们的生活缺少确定性
When we have a lack of certainty in our lives
我们会倾向于接触那些能给我们确信性的事情
we tend to reach for things that do give us certainty.
比如 如果我抽了几包烟 或者喝了几杯啤酒
For example: If I smoke a couple of cigarettes, or drink a couple of beers
我知道我会感到很舒服
I know that I will feel good.
这就是确定性
That is for certain.
一个好的与之抗争的方式就是养成一些有持续回报的习惯
A good way to combat this is by setting up habits with consistent rewards.
比如 如果我在早晨冥想每一天
For example: If I meditate everyday in the morning,
我知道我会在这天剩下的时间里觉得很舒服
I know that I will feel better for the rest of the day.
但毕竟确定性在工作和家庭安全方面最为需要
But above all certainty is most needed in terms of job and home security.
忘记尝试养成好的新习惯 忘记克服癖瘾
Forget about trying to build good new habits, forget about overcoming your addictions –
没有稳定的收入来源 不知道你是否会有一个栖身之所
Without having a steady stream of income, without knowing that you’ll have a roof over your head,
不知道每天是否填饱肚子
without knowing that you’ll have food to eat everyday
这几乎是不可能永久克服癖瘾的
it is near impossible to overcome your addictions for good.
第二个人类的基本需求是多样性
The second fundamental human need is variety.
现在我知道你会说 这不是在否定我们之前所讲的吗？
Now I know I know, doesn’t this contradict what we just talked about?
好吧 当我说多样性的时候 我是在说那种“我们的生活很无聊”的感觉
Well when I say variety – I’m talking about the sense that our lives are boring.
如果你每天朝九晚五地工作
If you’re working a 9-5 every single day,
而且还是完全相同的上下班路线
with the same exact routine where you come back home
还有 看相同的电视节目 吃相同的食物
and watch the same tv shows and eat the same food,
这样的话 你将非常难克服癖瘾
then you’re going to have an extremely hard time overcoming your addictions.
因为你的癖瘾提供了一些刺激
Because your addiction offer a sort of excitement.
当你喝醉或吸毒出现了幻觉 整个世界将会变得不一样
When you’re drunk or high the whole world feels different,
它在你的生活中注入了一些多样性
it adds some variety into your life.
为了与之抗争 我们需要确保我们的生活是振奋人心的
In order for us to combat this, we need to make sure that we have an exciting life.
这意味着我们要有振奋人心的且确实吸引了我们的爱好
This means having exciting hobbies that reallyinterest us.
这意味着时常进行振奋人心的旅行
This means going on exciting trips every oncein a while.
这意味着去尝试新的事物 新的美食
This means trying out new things, new foods,
新的想法 甚至是遇见新的朋友
new ideas, and even meeting new people.
如果我们能把更多趣味融于生活
If we can bring more excitement into our lives
我们就会享受到癖瘾所不能提供的趣味
we’ll reach for the excitement that our addiction provides far less often.
第三个人类的基本需求是重要性
The third fundamental human need is significance.
我们需要感到重要性 就像我们是要紧的
We need to feel important, like we matter.
而这个常通过多种不同方式完成
And this is often done in a variety of differentways.
一些人靠做生意和赚几百万来获得
Some people do this by building up a business and making millions,
一些人则通过在职业中出类拔萃来获得
others do so by getting really good at their craft,
一些人则通过在生活中制造不必要的戏剧性而获得
some people even do this by creating unnecessary drama in their lives.
无法获得重要性 我们就会寻求癖瘾
Without a source of significance, we’ll just reach for our addiction of choice
这就是为什么人们会嗑像可卡因那样的药
There’s a reason why people like doing drugs like cocaine,
因为可卡因会让你觉得你是空间中最重要的人
because it makes you feel like the most important person in the room.
为了与之抗争 我们可以培养我们自己对重要性的阐释
In order to combat this we can cultivate our own version of significance.
这人人不同 但根据一般经验
And this differs from person to person, but a general rule of thumb is,
如果你白日做梦梦到了什么
if there’s something you daydream about.
那么 你的梦想很可能会给你带来一种意义感
Then chances are that dream of yours will provide you with a sense of significance.
第四个人类基本需求是爱和联系
The 4th fundamental human need is Love andConnection.
我们人类是社交生物
We human beings are social creatures.
事实上研究发现 如果你长时间不同任何人社交
it’s actually been found that if you do not socialize with anyone for a long period of time,
你的大脑实际上会变小
your brain will actually get smaller.
我们需要和人们有亲密联系
We need to form intimate bonds with people.
我们需要关心其他人 并且也喜欢别人关心我们
We need to care about others and also feel like others care about us.
且这是最普遍的没有被适当满足的人类基本需求之一
And this is one of the most common fundamental human needs that is not being properly fulfilled.
如今有太多人花费大量时间躲在屏幕后面
So many people nowadays spend too much time behind their screens
以致到了他们不再知道如何走出来 以及实际与人建立联系的地步
to the point where they no longer even know how to go out there and actually connect with people.
如果在现实中你与他人没有联系
If you don’t bond with others in real life,
你会发现你会养成能填补这个需求的坏习惯
then you’ll find yourself reaching for bad habits that can fulfill this need.
这就是为什么如今很多人沉迷一些
That’s why so many people nowadays are addicted to things
像社交媒体或者甚至色情小说的东西
like social media or even pornography.
如今很多年轻人看色情作品
So many young men nowadays watch pornography
是因为它能给你的大脑一种你被很多女人无条件爱着的幻觉
because it tricks your brain into thinking that you are being loved by dozens of women unconditionally.
为了与之抗争 我们需要锻炼我们的社交技能
In order to combat this we need to work on our social skills.
我们需要和现实生活中的人进行深层次有意义的交谈
We need to be able to hold deep and meaningful conversations with the people in real life.
如果你对做到上述事情有任何困难
If you’re having trouble with any of this
我有在下方简介处链接一些关于交谈技巧的视频
I do have a couple of videos on communication skills that I will link to in the description below.
第五个人类的基本需求是成长
The 5th fundamental human need is growth.
我们人类需要看着自己生活中的进步和提升
We human beings need to see progress or improvement in our lives.
我们需要看见 我们是否能从每天从事的某项工作中
We need to see that if we’re working on something every single day
变得更好或者有更好的结果
that we’re getting better or getting better results.
这就是为什么有很多高薪的人仍在会没过多久就辞职
This is why so many people with good paying jobs still end up quitting after a while.
因为他们看不到提升的空间
because they see no room for improvement.
他们看到工资几乎没有增长的余地
They see very little to no increases in pay,
他们看不到公司里往上爬的机会 正因如此 他们强烈渴望离开
they see no opportunity to climb within the company and because of this they feel a strong urge to leave.
但你不一定需要在工作上看到进步
Now you don’t need necessarily have to see progress at work
很多人通过追求目标来满足他们对进步的需求
a lot of people fulfill their need for progress by reaching for their goals.
那些开始有规律地去健身房的人
Someone who starts hitting the gym on a regular
会清楚的看到他举起的重量以及他身体的进步
will see clear progress in the amount of weight he can lift as well as in his body.
如果在生活中 你没有某种积极的成长
If you do not have some sort of positive growth
那么你就要去别处寻找了
in your life then you’re going to look for it elsewhere.
很多人在癖瘾上找到了进步
Many people find progress in their addictions.
他们越来越容忍自己物质的选择 他们的癖瘾越来越严重
They build more and more tolerance to their substance of choice and their addictions get worse and worse,
他们徘徊在这 因为癖瘾满足了他们对进步的需求
they stay around because that fulfills their need for progress.
然而 这种进步对我们并没有好处
It just so happens that this progress isn’tgood for us.
为了与之抗争 我们需要确保我们在生活中某处正有着积极进步
In order to combat this we need to make sure that we’re making positive progress somewhere in our lives.
这就是为什么 关注自我完善
This is why focusing on self-improvement,
观看这类视频 然后把所学运用到生活中是很强有力的
watching videos like this, and applying the lessons to our lives is so powerful.
因为养成好习惯和充实自己可以满足进步的需求
Because building good new habits and working on ourselves can fulfill this need.
第六个 也是最后一个 人类的基本需求是贡献
The 6th and final fundamental human need is contribution.
事实上 研究发现 大部分世界上最开心的人
Studies have actually found that a large majority of the happiest people in the world
是那些当你给他们带去幸福 同时也让自己快乐的时候 他们会回报的人
are the ones who give back when you provide happiness for others that makes you happy as well.
它显示了你有能力给他人带来价值
It shows you that you’re capable of giving value to others,
这也与之前 感到重要性的基础需求 相联系
and this ties back with the fundamental need to feel significant.
这种需求可以通过几种方式满足
Now this need can be fulfilled in a couple of ways.
你可以通过做社区服务回报社会
You can give back by doing some community service,
你可以在朋友和家人需要的时候帮助他们
You could help out your friends and family whenever they’re in need,
你也可以通过充实你自己使得自己能给他人带来更多东西
and you can also do this by working on yourself so that you can bring more to the table.
如果你锻炼你的社交技能 成为了一个更快乐的人
If you work on your social skills and become a happier person
你可以让你周围的人也更开心
you can make others around you happier as well.
以上就是我们需要去满足的六个人类的基本需求
And that’s it these are the 6 fundamental human needs that we need to fulfill.
如果你缺少上述任何一个领域
If you are lacking in any of these areas
你将发现几乎不可能克服你的癖瘾
you will find it near impossible to overcome your addiction.
因为你的癖瘾填补了你对缺失区域的需求
And this is because your addiction is fulfilling the need for you.
这是最后一个《驯服课程》的视频
This is the final video of the Tamed Course.
此时此刻 你已经了解一切你需要知道的 克服癖瘾的东西
At this point you now know everything you need to know in order to overcome your addiction.
如果还没有的话 我建议你点击下方简介的链接
If you don’t I suggest you click on the link in the description below
重新观看其中一些课程
and re-watch some of the lessons.
但现在我将最后一次总结我们的策略以确保你走在正确的道路上
But I will sum up our strategy one last time to make sure that you’re on the right path.
为了让我们克服癖瘾
In order for us to overcome our addictions
我们需要满足6个人类的基本需求
we need to fulfill the 6 fundamental human needs.
我们运用意志力和习惯的知识来养成一个基本习惯
We do this by using our knowledge of willpower and habits to build a keystone habit
这个基本习惯会使我们更加强大 以及允许我们彻底养成其他好习惯
This keystone habit will make us stronger and allow us to build other good habits down the line.
所以持续关注养成你的基本习惯
So continue to focus on building your keystone habits.
让基本习惯成为一种本能 这可能会花上9个月
Get it to the line of automaticity which again can take up to 9 months
接着开始满足你的6个人类基本需求
and start fulfilling your 6 fundamental human needs.
因为每个基本需求都是自然而然满足的
As each of the 6 are being naturally fulfilled
你应该会感到越来越容易远离癖瘾的选择
you should find it easier and easier to stay away from your addiction of choice.
最终癖瘾将不再是你生活的主要问题
And eventually it will no longer be a major problem in your life.
感谢本频道赞助人对《驯服课程》的赞助
The Tamed Course was made possible with the help of the Patrons of this channel.
如果你在这门课程中寻到任何价值
If you’ve found any value in this course
并且想要回报 以及帮助我继续制作像这样的课程
and would like to give back as well as help me continue to make courses like this down the line
那么如果您也能成为一个赞助者的话 我将诚挚地感谢您
then I’d be truly grateful if you could become a patron too.
所有我的赞助人均可获得特权和更多意想不到的收益
All of my patrons receive perks and benefits which you can find out more about here
《驯服课程》也许结束了
The Tamed Course may be over
但如果我看到了任何有价值的信息 我可能会偶尔添加额外的视频到这个课程
but I may occasionally add additional videos to the course if I ever come across any valuable information.
我希望你在克服癖瘾上好运 还有继续收看
So I wish you the best of luck in overcoming your addiction and stay tuned.