Improvement Pill here
welcome to Lesson #11of the Tamed Course
In our previous lessons –
We learned about how habits and willpower work
but today we’re going to talk about something that strikes at the root of our problem.
We’re going to talk about 6 things that you must have in your life.
You might be able to build a couple of good habits,
you might be able to increase yourwill power
but without these 6 fundamental human needs you will not be able to overcome your addiction for good.
And this is a concept that was first introduced by Tony Robbins.
So let’s jump right into it:
The first fundamental human need is a sense of Certainty.
Human beings need to have some idea of what to expect in the future.
For example: going to work for 40 hours a week
and knowing that you’ll make say 500 $ every week.
If we do not have certainty in our lives, that creates a tremendous amount of stress.
Imagine showing up to work everyday and not
knowing what your paycheck is going to look like at the end of the week.
How confident will you be about paying the bills and putting food on the table?
When we have a lack of certainty in our lives
we tend to reach for things that do give us certainty.
比如 如果我抽了几包烟 或者喝了几杯啤酒
For example: If I smoke a couple of cigarettes, or drink a couple of beers
I know that I will feel good.
That is for certain.
A good way to combat this is by setting up habits with consistent rewards.
For example: If I meditate everyday in the morning,
I know that I will feel better for the rest of the day.
But above all certainty is most needed in terms of job and home security.
Forget about trying to build good new habits, forget about overcoming your addictions –
Without having a steady stream of income, without knowing that you’ll have a roof over your head,
without knowing that you’ll have food to eat everyday
it is near impossible to overcome your addictions for good.
The second fundamental human need is variety.
Now I know I know, doesn’t this contradict what we just talked about?
好吧 当我说多样性的时候 我是在说那种“我们的生活很无聊”的感觉
Well when I say variety – I’m talking about the sense that our lives are boring.
If you’re working a 9-5 every single day,
with the same exact routine where you come back home
还有 看相同的电视节目 吃相同的食物
and watch the same tv shows and eat the same food,
then you’re going to have an extremely hard time overcoming your addictions.
Because your addiction offer a sort of excitement.
When you’re drunk or high the whole world feels different,
it adds some variety into your life.
In order for us to combat this, we need to make sure that we have an exciting life.
This means having exciting hobbies that reallyinterest us.
This means going on exciting trips every oncein a while.
This means trying out new things, new foods,
new ideas, and even meeting new people.
If we can bring more excitement into our lives
we’ll reach for the excitement that our addiction provides far less often.
The third fundamental human need is significance.
We need to feel important, like we matter.
And this is often done in a variety of differentways.
Some people do this by building up a business and making millions,
others do so by getting really good at their craft,
some people even do this by creating unnecessary drama in their lives.
Without a source of significance, we’ll just reach for our addiction of choice
There’s a reason why people like doing drugs like cocaine,
because it makes you feel like the most important person in the room.
In order to combat this we can cultivate our own version of significance.
And this differs from person to person, but a general rule of thumb is,
if there’s something you daydream about.
Then chances are that dream of yours will provide you with a sense of significance.
The 4th fundamental human need is Love andConnection.
We human beings are social creatures.
it’s actually been found that if you do not socialize with anyone for a long period of time,
your brain will actually get smaller.
We need to form intimate bonds with people.
We need to care about others and also feel like others care about us.
And this is one of the most common fundamental human needs that is not being properly fulfilled.
So many people nowadays spend too much time behind their screens
to the point where they no longer even know how to go out there and actually connect with people.
If you don’t bond with others in real life,
then you’ll find yourself reaching for bad habits that can fulfill this need.
That’s why so many people nowadays are addicted to things
like social media or even pornography.
So many young men nowadays watch pornography
because it tricks your brain into thinking that you are being loved by dozens of women unconditionally.
In order to combat this we need to work on our social skills.
We need to be able to hold deep and meaningful conversations with the people in real life.
If you’re having trouble with any of this
I do have a couple of videos on communication skills that I will link to in the description below.
The 5th fundamental human need is growth.
We human beings need to see progress or improvement in our lives.
We need to see that if we’re working on something every single day
that we’re getting better or getting better results.
This is why so many people with good paying jobs still end up quitting after a while.
because they see no room for improvement.
They see very little to no increases in pay,
他们看不到公司里往上爬的机会 正因如此 他们强烈渴望离开
they see no opportunity to climb within the company and because of this they feel a strong urge to leave.
Now you don’t need necessarily have to see progress at work
a lot of people fulfill their need for progress by reaching for their goals.
Someone who starts hitting the gym on a regular
will see clear progress in the amount of weight he can lift as well as in his body.
If you do not have some sort of positive growth
in your life then you’re going to look for it elsewhere.
Many people find progress in their addictions.
They build more and more tolerance to their substance of choice and their addictions get worse and worse,
they stay around because that fulfills their need for progress.
It just so happens that this progress isn’tgood for us.
In order to combat this we need to make sure that we’re making positive progress somewhere in our lives.
This is why focusing on self-improvement,
watching videos like this, and applying the lessons to our lives is so powerful.
Because building good new habits and working on ourselves can fulfill this need.
第六个 也是最后一个 人类的基本需求是贡献
The 6th and final fundamental human need is contribution.
事实上 研究发现 大部分世界上最开心的人
Studies have actually found that a large majority of the happiest people in the world
是那些当你给他们带去幸福 同时也让自己快乐的时候 他们会回报的人
are the ones who give back when you provide happiness for others that makes you happy as well.
It shows you that you’re capable of giving value to others,
这也与之前 感到重要性的基础需求 相联系
and this ties back with the fundamental need to feel significant.
Now this need can be fulfilled in a couple of ways.
You can give back by doing some community service,
You could help out your friends and family whenever they’re in need,
and you can also do this by working on yourself so that you can bring more to the table.
If you work on your social skills and become a happier person
you can make others around you happier as well.
And that’s it these are the 6 fundamental human needs that we need to fulfill.
If you are lacking in any of these areas
you will find it near impossible to overcome your addiction.
And this is because your addiction is fulfilling the need for you.
This is the final video of the Tamed Course.
此时此刻 你已经了解一切你需要知道的 克服癖瘾的东西
At this point you now know everything you need to know in order to overcome your addiction.
If you don’t I suggest you click on the link in the description below
and re-watch some of the lessons.
But I will sum up our strategy one last time to make sure that you’re on the right path.
In order for us to overcome our addictions
we need to fulfill the 6 fundamental human needs.
We do this by using our knowledge of willpower and habits to build a keystone habit
This keystone habit will make us stronger and allow us to build other good habits down the line.
So continue to focus on building your keystone habits.
Get it to the line of automaticity which again can take up to 9 months
and start fulfilling your 6 fundamental human needs.
As each of the 6 are being naturally fulfilled
you should find it easier and easier to stay away from your addiction of choice.
And eventually it will no longer be a major problem in your life.
The Tamed Course was made possible with the help of the Patrons of this channel.
If you’ve found any value in this course
and would like to give back as well as help me continue to make courses like this down the line
then I’d be truly grateful if you could become a patron too.
All of my patrons receive perks and benefits which you can find out more about here
The Tamed Course may be over
but I may occasionally add additional videos to the course if I ever come across any valuable information.
So I wish you the best of luck in overcoming your addiction and stay tuned.