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自恋型父母的惊人影响 – 译学馆
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自恋型父母的惊人影响

6 Surprising Effects of Narcissistic Parenting

有多少人就有多少种管教方式
There are as many parenting styles as there are people,
这么多的管教方式大致可分为几个类型
so many of these styles can be divided into broad categories
如自恋型
such as narcissistic,
权威型和专制型
authoritative and authoritarian.
今天 我们来重点说一说自恋型管教
Today we are focusing on narcissitic parenting.
什么是自恋型管教方式呢?
What is a narcissistic parenting style?
自恋型父母对他们的孩子往往有着很强的控制欲
Narcissistic parents tend to be very possessive over their children.
这种管教方式有时也被称作直升机式管教
And this parenting style is sometimes also referred to as helicopter parenting
自恋型父母常常对孩子逐渐变强的独立性
Narcissistic parents often feel threatened by
感到威胁 甚至嫉妒
or even envious of the child’s growing independence.
这种父母有意或无意地认为
Consciously or unconsciously,
孩子本来就应该满足父母的意愿或需求
these parents believe that the child is there to fulfill the parents’ wishes and needs.
或许你会想到某些固执己见的足球妈妈或选美家长
You might think of the certain pushy kind of Soccer Mom, or pageant parent.
这样的管教行为会对孩子造成深远的影响
This parental behavior can have far-reaching effects on the child.
1 自责
1. Self blame.
自恋型父母的孩子常常认为他们自己就是问题的根源
Children of narcissistic parents often think that they are the problem,
因为父母只关注
because the parents only pay attention
孩子所犯的错误和他们自己的问题
to their child’s mistakes and their own problems.
这样 孩子就开始自责了
The children start blaming themselves.
这也可以作为一种自我保护的心理机制来继续维持希望
This can also function as a self-preserving mechanism to hold out hope.
他们这样想 如果我调整好自己情况就会变得更好一些
They think, if I fix myself, the situation will get better.
如果我好好表现 父母或监护者会待我更好
If I do well, my parents or carers will be nicer to me.
用这种自恋型管教方式带大的孩子
Children that have been raised with the narcissistic style,
往往难以正确处理自己的情绪
often have trouble dealing with their feelings.
会因为一点点琐事而变得很情绪化
and can get very emotional over minor occurrences.
2 不安全依恋
2. Insecure attachment.
你可能听说过依恋理论
You might have heard of the attachment theory,
这是一种描述人类个体之间
which attempts to discribe the dynamics
人际关系的动态变化的理论
of interpersonal relationships between humans.
大部分的依恋类型
A large part of the attachment style
取决于子女与父母之间形成的关系
is determined by the relationship children developed with their care takers.
依恋类型主要分为三种
There are three main types of attachment:
安全型
secure,
焦虑型或不安全型
anxious or insecure,
以及紊乱型
and disorganized.
自恋型管教往往会导致不安全依恋的形成
Narcissistic parenting often results in insecure attachment,
这种依恋类型还可分为两个子类型
which has two subtypes.
一种是回避型依恋
An insecure avoidant style is characterized
带有一种逃避性质
by an avoidant nature,
有这种心理的孩子会想
where children think,
我绝不会再让自己受到伤害了
I’ll never risk letting myself get hurt again.
另一种是焦虑型依恋
The other subtype is an insecure anxious attachment
在安全正常的人际关系中
which is characterized by an attitude
往往或多或少地会寻求情感联结以获得安全感
that more or less chases after the secure connection
这种心态使孩子琢磨:
and causes children to think:
他们为什么不喜欢我?
Why don’t they like me?
为什么没有人在意我呢?
Why won’t anyone pay attention to me?
3 极强的情感独立性
3. Extreme emotional independence
有些孩子会以完全放弃情感依靠的方式
Some children might react to narcissistic parenting
来回应父母的自恋型管教
by abandoning emotional attachment altogether.
他们长大成人后会独来独往 不信任人
They go on to solitary distrusting adults
难以建立起亲密的人际关系
and have difficulty forming close personal connections.
4 极度地爱照顾人
4. Extreme nurturing.
还有些孩子的表现与前面的情况相反
Some children might even go the complete opposite way,
他们会变得特别爱照顾别人
turning into extremely nurturing individuals.
这可能是由于一种无意识欲望的驱使
This could possibly be caused by an unconscious desire
使他们想要间接感受不曾得到过的关爱和被需要的感觉
to vicariously experience the care and wants they didn’t receive themselves.
5 创伤后应激障碍
5. PTSD
遭受过极端的自恋型管教的孩子
Children that have eperienced an extreme form of narcissistic parenting
常常在这种管教对其生活所带来的不良影响中苦苦挣扎
often struggle with these results for life
以创伤性应激障碍的形式表现出来
in the form of post-traumatic stress disorder.
他们会沉浸在情感受虐的痛苦记忆中
They might have invasive thoughts of emotional abuse,
经受严重的情绪麻木感
experience severe emotional numbness,
或忍受创伤后应激障碍的其他症状
or undergo other symptoms of PTSD.
这种影响在遭受身体虐待的孩子身上
This effect is particularly prevalent among children
也是特别常见的
that also experience physical abuse.
6 变得自恋
6. Becoming narcissistic.
这是一种很极端的情况——如果你战胜不了他们 那就成为他们那样的人吧
This is an extreme case of — if you cannot beat them, join them.
某些受到自恋型管教的孩子会这样想
Some children raised by narcissistic parents react by thinking
我要确保自己什么都能做好
I’ll make sure I become so good at everything
这样就不会再有人忽视我了
that nobody can make me feel unimportant again.
这样的人会极端地
People who do this go to extremes
在意自己本人以及个人成就
to focus on themselves and their own achievement
变成自恋者
becoming narcissistic themselves.
这就是自恋型管教的6个主要影响
And those are the six major effects of narcissistic parenting.
你经历过自恋型管教吗?
Have you ever experience narcissistic parenting?
你认为这种管教对你有着怎样的影响呢?
How do you think it effected you?
如果愿意的话 你可以在下方评论中分享一下你的故事
If you’d like, you can share your story in the comments below.
谢谢观看
Thank you for watching.
还有 如果你喜欢本节目 别忘了订阅
And if you like this video, don’t forget to subscribe,
并从我们的网站或社会媒体上查看一下
and check out our website and social media.

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自己自恋不要紧,关键是不要影响下一代,本视频介绍自恋型管教方式对孩子造成的六种不良影响,你中枪了吗?

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