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6个迹象表明你的对象在利用你

6 Signs Your Partner Is Using You

What’s worse than knowing someone
还有什么是比知道某人
no longer loves you?
不再爱你更糟糕的呢?
It’s realizing that they never loved you.
那就是意识到他们从未爱过你
All the games, the broken promises
他们让你相信的所有的游戏
and lies they led you to believe.
破裂的誓言和谎言
As time goes on,
随着时间的推移
you’re not even mad at them anymore,
你甚至不再生他们的气了
not when you’re disappointed with yourself
而不是当你对自己太天真
for being naive enough to fall for all their tricks.
而落入他们的圈套感到失望
It may be shocking news to you,
这对你来说可能是个震惊的消息
but to them, it’s nothing new,
但对他们来说 这并不是什么新鲜事
not when they knew what they were doing all along.
尤其是当他们知道自己一直在做什么的时候
Are you tired of being let down?
你是否厌倦了失望的感受?
Here are 6 signs your partner is using you.
下面是你的对象在利用你的6个迹象
1. You’re reluctant to say no to them.
1 你不愿意拒绝他们
This is called manipulation
这被称为操纵
which is also known as emotional blackmailing.
也被称为感情勒索
Were you always afraid to turn down their requests?
你总是害怕拒绝他们的要求吗?
Maybe it’s because you don’t want to let them down,
也许是因为你不想让他们失望
or they guilt trip you into doing favors for them.
或是对他们的内疚让你帮他们的忙
Healthy relationships require both partners to
健康的关系需要双方互相尊重
respect one another including their boundaries.
包括彼此的界限
But when your partner is
但当你的对象
constantly overstepping them,
不断地越过界限
it can make you feel
这会让你感到
uncomfortable and disrespected.
不舒服和不受尊重
As they tug on your heartstrings and
当他们牵动你的心弦
pressure you to make decision quickly
迫使你按照他们的意愿
according to their wishes,
迅速做出决定时
it put you in a place where it’s hard to say no.
你会感觉很难说不
2. You’re not sure what the relationship is.
2 你不确定你们是什么关系
Maybe the both of you
也许你们俩
are exclusively seeing each other,
只是单独见面
but does your partner see you guys in a relationship?
但你的对象会觉得你们在恋爱了吗?
If they’re running away from commitment
如果他们逃避承诺
and give excuses like,
找借口 比如
let’s just see where this goes,
让我们看看会发生什么
or titles complicate things anyway.
或者名分会让事情变得复杂
They aren’t likely to treat you like you are
他们不太可能把你当做
worth being loved, cared and supported.
值得被爱 关心和支持的人来对待
Do you really want to be with
你真的想和
someone like that anyway?
那样的人在一起吗?
You deserve to be someone’s first choice,
你值得成为别人的第一选择
not just a temporary convenience.
而不只是一时的方便
3. Their inconsistencies throw you off repeatedly.
3 他们的前后矛盾反复使你感到厌烦
Users rarely ever stick to their word
利用者很少遵守他们的诺言
because they know you’ll keep coming back to them.
因为他们知道你会不断回到他们身边
It’s a classic trick up their sleeve.
这是他们的经典伎俩
They see how much you’re willing to
他们看到你有多愿意
tolerate their selfish behavior,
容忍他们的自私行为
and when you finally break
当你终于奔溃
and say you’ve had enough,
并说你已经受够了时
they apologize, tell you they’ll change and you,
他们会道歉 告诉你他们会改变 而你
like the good-hearted person you are,
就像个好心人一样
you believe them.
你相信他们
4. They are different behind the scenes.
4 他们在人前人后不一样
Dr. Susan Whitburn states
苏珊·惠特伯恩博士说
that when someone loves you
当有人爱你时
they boost your self-esteem and sense of identity.
他们会增强你的自尊和认同感
But when your partner is just using you,
但当你的对象只是在利用你时
they care more about their own needs being met.
他们会更关心自己的需求得到满足
When you go out in public,
当你在公共场合时
they might act affectionate
他们可能会表现的很深情
because you’re more of a trophy to them than a lover.
因为你对他们来说更像是一个战利品 而不是爱人
Without an audience though, behind the scenes,
如果没有观众 在人后
you’ll start to get the impression
你会开始觉得
that they never cared about you
他们从来没有关心过你
or perhaps it’s the exact opposite.
或者可能恰恰相反
They’re only affectionate with you in private
他们只是在私下喜欢你
because they don’t want others to think
因为他们不想让别人认为
there’s anything serious between you two.
你们之间有什么严肃的关系
5. They avoid the heavy conversations.
5 他们避免沉重的谈话
You can’t have love without letting your guard down.
你不能不放松警惕就拥有爱
If your partner refuses to be vulnerable with you,
如果你的伴侣拒绝和你共患难
it indicates that they’re keeping you at arm’s length.
这表明他们和你保持一定的距离
Although this isn’t always the case
尽管这并不总是像创伤
like trauma being one factor.
一样成为一个因素
If you find your partner has no problem being
如果你发现你的对象对别人
open with others
敞开心扉没有问题
but doesn’t do the same with you,
但对你却没有
it doesn’t give you the full opportunity
那么你就没有充分的机会
to get close to them.
去接近他们
It’s not necessarily about what you’re doing wrong
这并不一定是因为你做错了什么
or whether you’re good enough.
或者你是否足够好
If you’re putting your heart out,
如果你很用心
but they shrug off the intimate conversations,
但他们对亲密的谈话不屑一顾
then are they really even there?
那么他们真的是你的对象吗?
6. You’re doing the majority of the work.
6 大部分工作都是你做的
Balance is important for relationship to sustain,
平衡对维持关系很重要
but go from one extreme to the other
但从一个极端到另一个极端
and you’ll find yourself in a ship in sink.
你会发现你自己在沉船里
There’s only so much you can do
你能做的只有这么多
until you run empty-handed.
直到你空手而归
Psychologist Patricia Pape states
心理学家帕特丽夏·佩普说
some guys are very slick,
有些男人很圆滑
they know how to groom women
他们知道如何训练女人
know how to manipulate them,
也知道如何操纵她们
and no matter how bright she is,
不管她有多聪明
she freezes and takes on all the shame,
她都会冷静下来 承担起所有的羞耻
the responsibility for what’s happening.
对发生的一切负责
If your partner is all play and no compromise,
如果你的对象只是玩玩 没有承诺
it’ll only break your heart more
当你坚持足够长的时间
when you stick around long enough
来容忍他们的借口时
to tolerate their excuses.
你的心会更痛
What’s stopping you from finding a healthy partner?
是什么阻止你找到一个健康关系的对象?
Think you might be in a toxic relationship?
你认为你可能在一段有毒的关系中?
Check out our video here for the signs.
查看我们的视频来寻找这些迹象
Remember it doesn’t only
记住 这不仅仅
have to be a romantic relationship,
只发生在一段浪漫关系中
perhaps it’s your employer
也许你的雇主
or your friends that are using you too.
或你的朋友也在利用你
Just watch out and be careful.
小心再小心
Thanks so much for watching!
非常感谢收看!

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视频概述

本视频介绍了六种迹象你的对象可能只是在利用你而不是真心对待你,而且这种利用不仅存在于恋爱中,也可能发生在朋友和上司中

听录译者

果松松

翻译译者

咬人的小脑斧

审核员

审核员#LY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye6oikUjO9A

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