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爱情和欲望的六个不同之处 – 译学馆
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爱情和欲望的六个不同之处

6 Differences Between Love vs Lust

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[INTRO]
《来吧!心理学》
Psych2go.net
人常常会跃入欲望之火中
Lust has a reputation for being the flame we jump into.
就像《五十度灰》那样 或者那种不负责任
Think of Fifty Shades of Grey or your classic bad boy or bad girl
玩危险感情游戏的典型坏男孩或坏女孩那样
who is all games and danger with no strings attached.
但是 根据著名爱情专家 Helen Fisher 博士的说法
But according to leading love expert Dr. Helen Fisher,
欲望是爱的第一个必经的阶段
lust is the essential first stage of love.
如果不先对意中人有欲望
Without the desire of wanting someone first,
我们就不可能体会到亲密的感情
we cannot experience intimacy.
所以 我们怎么知道自己是仍滞留在爱的初期阶段
So, how do we know if we’re still stuck in the initial stage of attraction
还是已经准备好过渡到更有意义 更持久的关系中呢?
or ready to transition into something more meaningful and long-lasting?
以下是欲望和爱的六个主要区别
Here are 6 key differences between lust vs love.
1. 欲望是由肉体上的联系推动的
1. Lust is driven by physical connection
但爱是由情感上的联系推动的
but love comes from emotional connection.
归根结底 一切都取决于我们的大脑
It all comes down to our brain.
当你陪伴着伴侣时 大脑的哪些部位会受到刺激呢?
Which areas are being activated when you hang out with your partner?
研究表明 欲望会刺激
Research shows that lust lights up the regions
大脑中与奖励和动力相关的区域
associated with reward and motivation,
而爱则会刺激与同理心相关的区域
whereas love stimulates the areas that help you empathize.
如果你和伴侣话不投机 但房事却很精彩
Lust happens when you and your partner don’t have much to talk about
这就是欲望的表现
but have great sex.
两个约会没多久的人 常常会出现这种情况
This is common for two people who haven’t been dating for too long.
而爱的表现则是 你不只是欣赏伴侣的外貌
But love, on the other hand happens when you appreciate your partner
而且与伴侣共处的时间也很有意义
for more than just their looks and can spend meaningful time with them.
这才是一段深刻 认真的感情的开始
This is what ultimately forms the start of a deep and serious relationship.
2. 时间久了 爱会变强 但欲望会变弱
2. Overtime love grows stronger whereas lust becomes weaker.
心理学家兼性爱治疗师 Shannon Chavez 表示
Psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez states that
随着两人变得更亲密 爱也会变得更坚固
as attachment and bonding grow over time, so does love.
但欲望更为短暂 当性欲消退后 欲望也会消退
But lust is more temporary and fades when sexual desire fades away.
如果一段感情只靠欲望维持下去
If a relationship is based solely on lust,
两人必然就会缺乏互相恋爱的基础
there is inevitably no foundation to fall in love with each other.
欲望的感觉就像坐上刺激的过山车
Lust feels like an exciting roller coaster
但这种感觉只能靠肉体的愉悦来维持
but can only be sustained by physical pleasure.
到了真正需要经营一段感情的时候
When the real work kicks in,
两人的关系要么演变成爱
the dynamic either transitions into love
要么开始破裂
or the relationship begins to fall apart.
3. 欲望靠的是幻想
3. Lust is based on fantasies.
爱则是以现实生活为基础
Love, however, operates on the ground of reality.
你有没有想过
Have you ever looked back on past relationships
你们到底是怎么走在一起的?
and wondered how on earth you two got together?
你的情况我不知道 但我确实曾这样想过
I don’t know about you but I sure do.
平凡的生活确实用得到一点想象力
Imagination can come in handy when life gets mundane,
但想象力更像一把双刃剑
but more often than not it’s like a double-edged sword.
如果你喜欢你想象中的某个人
When you like the idea of someone more than
多过于在你面前的那个人
who’s actually in front of you,
你可能会错过一大堆警示
it can cause you to miss a lot of red flags.
关系专家表示
Relationship experts state that
过了一段时间 你会回到现实生活
there is only so much time before reality sets in
这时你会发现你的伴侣跟你一样是有缺点的
and makes you realize that your partner has faults just like you
也会发现你对伴侣的期望很不公平
and that your expectations were unfair.
4. 欲望会让两个人变成情侣
4. In lust you’re romantic partners
但爱会让两个人变成终生的朋友
but in love you’re lifelong friends.
精神科医生 Judith Orloff 发现
Psychiatrist Judith Orloff discovered that
陷入欲望的人只不过是恋人而已
people in lust are just lovers
但是真爱是建立在坚固友情的基础上的
but true love is built on the foundation of a strong friendship.
没错 两个人可以同意开展一段恋情
Sure, two people can agree to be in a relationship
出去约会玩个痛快 甚至去见对方的家人
go on fun dates and even meet each other’s family
但是如果双方不肯妥协 不擅长沟通
but if they lack compromise, communicate poorly
无法了解彼此
and fail to understand each other,
那么一起共创未来的可能性就变得很小了
the prospect of having a future together is very low.
5. 欲望追求的是刺激
5. Lust is all about thrill-seeking
而爱情追求的是稳定
whereas love is the pursuit of stability.
研究人员对陷入欲望的人进行了MRI扫描
Researchers have looked at MRI scans of people in lust
发现他们的大脑
and found that their brains look similar
与毒瘾者摄入可卡因后的情况相似
when an addict gets a fix of cocaine.
好像很激烈 对吧?
Sounds intense, right?
正因如此 迷恋不太可能比爱长久
But that’s why infatuation is not likely to last as long as love.
当你的性欲再也无法得到满足时 毒瘾就会消退
The drug effects wear off when you can no longer satiate your sexual desires.
欲望让人即时得到满足
Whereas lust is about instant gratification,
但爱是一场对稳定生活的不断寻找
love is the relentless search for stability.
6. 欲望是自私的 但爱是无私的
6. Lust is selfish but love comes from a selfless place.
当你爱一个人时 你会更努力地
When you love someone you focus more on
帮助他们实现目标
helping them reach their goals
也会关心他们的健康和幸福感
and care about their health and well-being
但欲望是为了满足自己的需要
Lust on the other hand is all about your own wants,
比如 有引人注目的伴侣在身边 会让你更有自信
like boosting your ego when you’re next to your attractive partner
或者只是为了满足你的性欲而已
or simply fulfilling your sexual desires.
要想从欲望的初始阶段提升到爱的阶段
In order to move from the initial stage of lust to love,
你就要考虑自己是否愿意为伴侣做点事
you must determine whether you could see yourself doing favors
或者为伴侣做牺牲
or making sacrifices for your partner.
你是陷入欲望还是坠入爱河了呢?
Do you think you’re in lust or in love?
希望这个视频让你了解到了两者之间的差异
We hope that this video helped you differentiate between the two.
记住 就算你所经历的只是欲望而已
Remember that just because you might only be experiencing lust
你的感情也还是可以发展成为爱的
doesn’t mean that your feelings can’t develop into love.
请在下方分享你的想法
Please share your thoughts with us below,
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also be sure to subscribe to our channel for more helpful content
感谢您的观看
and thank you for watching~
[片尾音乐]
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视频概述

爱情和欲望的六个不同之处

听录译者

来吧!尉英俊

翻译译者

搬那度

审核员

审核员 DL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hf08GRUtjRM

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