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6个实际上有害的常见习惯

6 Common Habits That Are Actually Toxic

– Hey Psych2Goers.
嗨 Psych2Go的观众们
Are you trying to take up new and healthier habits?
你在努力培养更健康的新习惯吗?
If you want to improve every day
如果你想每天都能进步
and become a better and kinder person, that is great.
成为一个更好更善良的人 这真的太好了
However, certain habits you may think look good
但是某些习惯可能表面上看起来是好的
on the surface could actually be working against us.
但实际它们并不是我们想的那样
So to help you with that,
所以 为了帮你甄别
here are six common habits that are actually toxic.
我们列出了6个实际有害的常见习惯
Number one, mistaking repression for being calm.
第一个 错把压抑当冷静
Do you keep strong emotions bottled up inside?
你会经常把强烈的情绪内部消化掉吗?
Perhaps you always tell the people around you
你或许经常告诉周围的人
that you’re all right,
你没事
and that they shouldn’t worry about you,
让他们别担心你
even though you’re not in the best shape.
即便你其实并不在最佳状态
While you may appear calm on the outside,
虽然你可能看起来很平静
hiding your negative emotions can have a negative impact.
但把负面情绪隐藏起来会有不好的影响
According to clinical psychologist, Victoria Tarratt,
根据临床心理学家 Victoria Tarrat所说
suppressing your emotions is said to affect blood pressure,
压抑你的情绪会影响血压
memory, and self esteem.
记忆和自尊
It can also aggravate depression and anxiety
长此以往 这样做还会加剧
in the longterm.
抑郁和焦虑
So instead of repressing how you feel,
与其压抑你的情绪
acknowledge your emotion in a safe environment.
不如找个安全的环境去宣泄
Identifying your emotion can be beneficial
识别自己的情绪本身
by itself already.
是有益的
Number two, being too independent.
第二 过度独立
Are you always insisting that you do things on your own?
你是否经常坚持独自一人做事呢?
Dependency is a common trait shared amongst all people,
依靠他人是几乎全人类都有的特质
especially at the earliest stages of infancy.
尤其在最早的婴儿时期
And as time goes by, you outgrow many of the basic faculties
随着时间流逝 你超越了许多自身基本能力
becoming more independent in the process,
在进步中变得更加独立
but to thrive as adults, being too dependent
但随着进入成年 太过独立
or too independent can stunt growth.
或者太过依赖都有碍进一步成长
There’s a sweet spot to balance it all out.
独立和依赖之间有个美好的平衡点
And it’s called healthy dependence,
这个平衡点被称为健康型依赖
where you can nurture both autonomy and intimacy.
它能帮你同时培养自主力和亲和力
Number three, you need to be in control of everything.
第三个有害习惯是 你想掌控一切
Do you need rigid systems in place all the time?
你是否总想遵循按部就班的做事方式呢?
People who compulsively control everything
那些强迫自己掌控一切的人
usually do so to protect themselves and others
这样做通常是以求保护自己和别人
from making mistakes or getting hurt.
不犯错 或受到伤害
While having systems in place isn’t a bad thing,
做事遵循固有程序并不是件坏事
being too rigid can also be problematic.
但太一板一眼就有问题了
According to NY based mental health counselor, Diane Webb,
据纽约一位精神健康咨询师Diane Wed说
a person with over-controlling tendencies
当一个人过于热衷掌控一切
can get triggered by anxiety
那么即使只有一件事不在掌控
if even just one thing isn’t in place.
他/她也会开始焦虑
Instead, try to ground yourself and focus
相反 你应该遵从自我 去关注
on the things that you can control.
那些你能掌控的事情
After all, you can’t control things external to you,
毕竟 你本来就无法掌控跟你不相关的事
but you can control how you react to them.
但你可以掌控自己应对它们的方式
Number four, striving for perfectionism.
四是一味地追求完美
Are you always trying to get things right and perfect?
你是否一直在拼命把事情做好做完美?
Perfectionism may seem like a good thing at first,
完美主义一开始看起来是件好事
after all who wouldn’t want to get things right
毕竟谁不想一直都把事情
all the time, but in truth,
做好呢 但事实上
perfectionism isn’t as glamorous as it seems.
完美主义不像它看起来的那么迷人
Multiple studies have linked perfectionism behavior
很多研究都把完美主义行为
to common mental illnesses, such as depression, anxiety,
与常见的精神疾病关联到一起 比如抑郁 焦虑
and eating disorders.
以及饮食失调
This is especially true if you reflect
如果反应出你是一个非适应性完美主义时
a maladaptive perfectionism type
尤其如此
where you beat yourself up for every mistake.
如此 每一个缺陷都能击倒你
If you recognize some of these habits in yourself,
如果你在生活中发现有一些完美主义习惯
try practicing self-compassion when ever you make mistakes.
在你每每犯错的时候 试着学会自我怜惜
Five, skipping sleep, even for something important.
五 不睡觉 即使是为了某个“重要”的事
How many all-nighters have you pulled lately?
你最近发现有多少个通宵达旦的人?
While you may feel like you’re saving time,
如果你觉得挤出睡觉的那几个小时
by getting more hours on to prepare
来准备一场考试或一项工作
for a test or an assignment,
是节约时间
you may actually be doing the opposite.
那实际上恰恰相反
During sleep, our brain processes information from the day
睡眠时 你的大脑会处理白天的资讯
to form memories.
形成记忆
Disrupting that can diminish memory formation
干扰睡眠就会减少记忆的形成
and learning retention.
从而无法巩固有关学习的记忆
This is because sleep deprivation can make it difficult
这是因为缺少睡眠会让巩固记忆
to consolidate a memory to be recalled for the future.
变得很难 未来很难再回想起来
And six, pleasing others at your expense.
六是牺牲自己 讨好别人
Is it hard for you to say no to others?
你是否觉得很难去拒绝别人?
Perhaps you often find yourself stretched too thin
也许你经常发现自己牺牲了很多
at the expense of others.
去迎合讨好他人
There’s nothing wrong with practicing genuine kindness
对人真诚友善 无条件地支持他人
and unconditional support to others.
这都没有错
But people pleasing goes beyond that.
但有些人的“友善”超出了范围
According to therapist, Erika Myers,
心理治疗师 Erika Myers说
the urge to please others can be damaging to ourselves
极力讨好他人 可能会对自身造成伤害
and potentially to our relationships
也会潜意识地破坏我们与他人的关系
when we allow other people’s wants
当我们容忍别人把他们的需求
to have more importance than our needs.
凌驾于我们自己的需求之上时
This can result in other people taking advantage of you,
那么其他人就会因此利用你
feeling unsatisfied with your relationships and burnout.
在相互关系中欲求不满 最后心力交瘁
Rather than wanting to please people,
与其企图讨好别人
show kindness from a genuine heart
不如去真心地表达友善
and not as a way to control their reactions.
并且不要以此换取你想要的回应
Putting yourself in front of others isn’t selfish.
优先考虑自己并不是自私
It just shows that you have respect for yourself,
这代表着你对自己的尊重
which can remind others to respect you too.
这样也能让其他人来尊重你
Are you planning to change your habits to be better?
你想改善你的习惯 成为更好的人吗?
Let us know in the comments below.
在下面留言让我们知道吧
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如果你觉得这个视频对你有帮助
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请一定要点赞 订阅并把它分享给
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你觉得能帮到他们的人
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这样每当频道更新时都能收到通知
The references and studies used in this video, as always,
像往常一样 视频中的参考文献和研究
are added in the description below.
在下面的简介里都能找到
Thanks so much for watching
非常感谢你的观看
and we will see you in the next one.
我们下一个视频再见

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视频概述

六个常见的习惯,看起来也许很好但实际有害

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

鱼尾

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审核员SLS

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxicokOsXm4

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